Tired of cheonging [Archive] - The Asian Commercial Sex Scene

aczeta76

31-01-2009, 01:17 PM

Had been reading a little on the net on r/s and stuff as was doing some research on matters and watching trash TV serials

Recently chatted with someone on her marriage and was quite touched at how she tried so hard to make the r/s with hubby grow stronger and better...had a long chat with LW ytd too and all these got me thinking ... AS USUAL

Been on the scene for a good 5-6 years liao and am feeling a bit tired loh, used to go KTV when I started before I got sick of the KC-ing and move on to HC etc...Now, after so many girls... starting to ask myself if I should still continue

Sure... in the past, wanted to F which ever pretty babe I saw and was quite literally butterflying between FLs with no KC and commitment... F and F off

Since meeting XP and my ex ZH GF... now, I get too concerned over some of them and this is why I tot of stopping.

It is getting more and more difficult for me to draw the line clearly as we get closer and closer together...And I am tired since I see no future of any of us being a item

As alluded b4, I admire some of the bros here for being able to keep things clear.. so I wonder if it could be b'coz some of them are married hence, both parties know from the beginning that it is not possible

Anyway, I juz got back with my GF of 7 years...(yes, the one whom I broke up with 'coz of my ZH GF)...she had been faithfully waiting for me since so we kinda rekindle recently.

These few weeks, I have been extremely cautious in making sure the few whom I visit regularly do not get too close for comfort..the most recent encounter however got me a little concerned..

也許……也許這就是命中注定，命中注定百分之一百要發生的事。大概……也許，也許是命中注定，我要對妳有感覺

haiz.... waiting for a few more weeks b4 I clarify my thoughts..

Seeing bros, like Tailok, lightning quieting down and even hardly see Binbin and sianren online makes me feel like perhaps I should quiet down too

Bros, anyone feel tired of cheonging

DO_YOU_BJ

31-01-2009, 01:39 PM

cablesnwires

31-01-2009, 01:58 PM

I can't speak for everyone, but I feel that there comes a time when one will take a step back, review what had happened for the last few years, what you are feeling today, and what you are going to do for the next few years.

In your mind, you are at a crossroad. During the time when you are chionging, you just wanted to fulfill your immediate and short term objectives. For some people, that is just their only objectives (immediate/short term equates to their long term as well), and continue until the kingdom comes. No fuss, no muss.

However, in your case, you had already achieved your immediate and short term goals, and is going to evaluate your long term objectives. You want something more. Something that you can hang on, some emotional attachments. Your past has caught up with you, and you feel very tired about it. It is really eating you up.

Being clear minded and being married are 2 different things altogether, which is why we are still seeing people divorcing and re-marrying again. You still can have a clear mind even when you are single.

If you fade away just because you are tired, then perhaps you are trying to run away from all these. But if you wanna quit the chionging, do it with a clear mind, do it for yourself.

My humble opinion.

bedtime-stories

31-01-2009, 02:05 PM

guess its kind of emotion swing period u going through..anyway for guys to stop completely is really harmful to oneself..likewise u cant immed quit alcohol but a step at a time..minimize the intake n slowly withdraw than maybe one day u will succeed..but maybe one day u will start again..it's all down to yourself n your mentality..anyway since u have already spend 7years of your life together with someone n now that person is still waiting n harbouring thoughts for u,than y not try to make it happen back again..sure u have gd n bad times during that period of time than can enable u to think better..perhaps go for a short holiday n clear up your thoughts..cheers

pewpew

31-01-2009, 03:15 PM

Bros, anyone feel tired of cheonging

Actually for cheonging, its only a activity that happens whenever there are "Bros Gathering" or whenever you are bored.

Unless you can find something that have more meaningful to do, doubt you can really find time to cheong.

For me, time have alway been more than enough when i am single but whenever i starts relationship, time have mostly been spend on work>bros/gfs/rest and no more time to cheong.

Bro Aczeta, just sit back n relax, if you have something else to do, don't cheong, but if you are bored, maybe can just ask your bros to go out once in a while.

PeteTsang69

31-01-2009, 03:36 PM

Hi Bro aczeta76
u know my recent history well . ..
i am in the deepest turmoil in my life . . .my personal . . professional ... and business life . . . i am trying to cure myself to take appropriate action to correct things, so i read this for perspective everyday now...

DO NOT TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY :p
YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF IT ALIVE -elbert hubbard

aczeta76

31-01-2009, 05:18 PM

Thanks bros... I am not quitting totally lah... juz restricting to 2 special babes...

Thoughts are still muddled so let me mull over your words

colins

31-01-2009, 06:03 PM

bro aczeta, from your words I just got this feeling that letting go is really a hard thing to do. I dun mean letting go of the girls, or cheonging, or boozing or the feeling you get knowing these girls anonymously. I mean letting go the reason which causes you to seek such a (night)life.

I've been having this thought lately. In our lives, we struggle a lot with identities. What we are and what we want to be. We struggle a lot with the difference between these two. I guess to be satisfied, who we are is the person who we want to be. I say this becos I think you just want to be somebody else other than who you are now.

bro petetsang, that liner is quite negative. Take care in your recover, let me know if I can help.

cheers bros ;)

yongzhen

31-01-2009, 08:11 PM

Bro, if u really thinking of settling down with that gal, my advice is to really cut away this life and retired. Or else u will end up hurting more and more ppl, starting with her and yrself. And than yr kids if u hv any with her.

Wooden_Handle

31-01-2009, 09:35 PM

Hello bro,

I have similar feeling as of yours, may be recently met up with a few and getting the numb sensation. Then another reason may be the recent acquisitions are not as exceptional compared to the previous ones. As most of them are pretty professional in service, everything is SOP and nothing to differentiate one from the other.

Therefore I will be keeping some of the ammo for my travelling to see anything exciting. I believe later part of the Feb some of the mei mei will be back to our shore, and new stocks may come in, hopefully the numb feeling will be away as well.

Thanks bros... I am not quitting totally lah... juz restricting to 2 special babes...

cablesnwires

31-01-2009, 09:48 PM

Are we really suffering from emotional deficiency syndrome? :o

pewpew

31-01-2009, 09:57 PM

Thanks bros... I am not quitting totally lah... juz restricting to 2 special babes...

Which 2 gals u tio stuck with? Keep them properly hor coz alot of colourwolves around... hehe :D

Wooden_Handle

31-01-2009, 10:01 PM

I think we suffered from Fxxking fatique...:p

Are we really suffering from emotional deficiency syndrome? :o

altis77

31-01-2009, 10:37 PM

Hi bro,

its has never been easy to draw the line when we start KC with gals. We are human with feelings. Even though from the start, we go with clear mind but sometimes as time goes, feelings become stronger, especially if she is a gal who do things that touched your heart like u will say to yrself "no gals have ever treated me like this before".

I have been cheonging for the past 5yrs+. Over the past 6mths (my tao hua very strong until my fds also scare for me), i am involved with 8 gals, all from china. I go in with a clear mind and never involve too deeply with any one of them. We enjoy each other company, emotionally and physically (they never ask me for $$ after sex).They are on short term here so when they left, i break off all contact with them and wish them well.

But things changed for the 8th gal: LL. I met her when i still involve with 7th gal (who is much more prettier). Like all other gals, she came from poor & broken family. at the age of 21, she has a daughter with medical prob. So she came spore to earn $ for her child operation. The things she do for me touches me: she don't go work to accompany me; she is willing to pay for our meal (she is a very stingy gal); she crys when i want to break up with her (when i know she do go H81 with others); she ask me to pick her up every nite after work (to assure me that she never go H81 with others); she reject all other guys invites to go out and wait for me at hme (she show me her hp); she crys when she is leaving back to china (she say nobody in china will dote on her like i do); she give me a buddha pendant when she left to bless me (and ask me to wait for her to return plus not to go ktv during tis period).

The day when she left, i suddenly feel loss when returning from airport. we have been so close for the past 3 wks (meet almost every day). I never have such feeling with any of the gals i have been. However, things changed when she reached china. The 2nd day, she call me to tell me she gg to another province to see her relatives and wont be able to ans my phone. I tell her not to worry and will contact her by email. Guess what: Her hubby reply my email not to contact her anymore!!!

Things have never been the same for me. This just happen last wk. For this wk, i have gone 2 rounds ktv with my buddies. The mood is not there anymore. I have the same feeling as u. Tired of cheonging.

After gathering advice from the forum here and buddies, i am trying very hard to forget the whole incident and move on. It will be hard for us to quit this totally cos we are too used enjoying to this life. We have to return back to our normal life and not to be too involved again with another ktv gal. Chances of working out with these gals is very low. Hope you can find your happiness with normal gals. Try spending your time & efforts on gf of 7yrs. Maybe u are too engrossed in ktv life that u miss out the special one that is beside you all along. Don't take her for granted. It is hard to find someone who is willing to stick with you for 7 yrs.

ekemono

31-01-2009, 10:46 PM

Dun change your lifestyle because of someone, change it because you wanted to. Anyway, We really dun know but if you feel she is the one, then better to retire completely. A hundred chio WL cannot compare to a love session with the one you long for. At least after the sex, you dun walk home alone.

Oralcraz

31-01-2009, 11:28 PM

Hi Bro TS,
I was taught to cheong at the age of 16. IMHO, there are reasons for a man to cheong. For single w/o gf, cheonging could be for fun and sexual needs. For single with gf, could be entertainment or basically extra fun (too horny or too ter ko). For marriage, most likely entertainment or problem with OC.
When I was par tor-ing, never cheong cos all luv/time/commitment give to gf. Now married but sometimes cheong KTV(work entertainment) and HC(work and personal relief). Personally, tired of cheonging? Yes I am. So, u hv to self-check to see what u want and re-set yr bearings. Best wishes.

DO_YOU_BJ

31-01-2009, 11:31 PM

No one is suffering from any syndrome.
The reason why you feel so lethargic or aimless about this is becos you havent really put the previous one into total cold storage.
Many a time, she'll be used as a benchmark..........
Looks, boobs, ass, GFE, BBBJ CIM...SWALLOW??? etc etc hehehehe u get da drift
An eagle will always be an eagle...needs to swoop down for kills to be an eagle.......
Thus, the lingering tot of her will always hinder you from leading a normal life........
Remember what i said about no one can chain you to the past except yourselves?????
Well here you go.........
Now picture an eagle who does nottin everyday but sit in its nest and rot away.........this is the Moral of the story!!!

Wooden_Handle

31-01-2009, 11:40 PM

LOL....

DO_YOU_BJ uncle sure say correct.

I must be missing this singer AF, cannot RTF..:eek:

Anyway, I will go away see what prey is yummy for awhile.

No one is suffering from any syndrome.
The reason why you feel so lethargic or aimless about this is becos you havent really put the previous one into total cold storage.
Many a time, she'll be used as a benchmark..........
Looks, boobs, ass, GFE, BBBJ CIM...SWALLOW??? etc etc hehehehe u get da drift

Thus, the lingering tot of her will always hinder you from leading a normal life........
Now picture an eagle who does nottin everyday but sit in its nest and rot away.........this is the Moral of the story!!!

cablesnwires

01-02-2009, 12:42 AM

The lustful part in me, I have no issues in dealing with it. I am clear minded to know. The infatuation part in me, is my biggest enemy, and am still learning to deal with and control it.

I have liken my infatuation part to be the role of a terrorist; it strikes at you when you least expected it to happen, when you thought you have it under control.

Haha.... just to let you noe, I knew a WL who has offered to give me money when she learnt that I owe the bank money. The money which I paid her and deposited into her a/c, she duly withdrew all (plus what she had earned through her WL activities) and gave that back to me. I was stunned, absolutely dumbfounded. I tested her by taking that stack of money, and observing her reaction to it. She felt a little uneasy of course. If she has behave as if nothing has happened, then I will grow very suspicious of her being a high class KC-er. And later that night, she said something to me "This money may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to me. I'm giving it back to you because in the first place, I am the cause to your loan. I hope you pay back the bank and never to borrow again." I was dumbfounded the 2nd time.

I kept the money until the last minute of my last day. Before coming back to Sg, we went to the bank and deposited back the money into her account. I told her "In the first place, when I borrowed the money, I have every means to return them back, hence there is no need to worry about the loan. Your spending time with me already cause you 6 days of income, and CNY is coming. This money is for you to keep. Rest assured that I am able to pay back the loan." I observed her reaction, expecting to see a relieved face. But heck no, her reaction was one which showed worries.

Heck, I could have been a bastard and left with the money. But doing that is going to haunt me even much more. Giving her back the money is a way of atoning myself and giving myself the excuse that this is still a commercial transaction.

This is what is eating inside me.

P/S: The overdraft is real, it is just a matter of timing my funds did not come at the right time. Also, there is no way I am going to borrow without any means of repaying back to the bank. This I am very clear about that.

Wooden_Handle

01-02-2009, 01:03 AM

Wooden_Handle

01-02-2009, 01:15 AM

Sorry to mention I am also at war with certain mei mei in forum.

cablesnwires

01-02-2009, 01:16 AM

Bro C&W,

I wont like to play fire with fire, especially with $$$ concern.

They may be cheated with $$$ before so they may be very careful and in their mind they changed the person's perspective.

As of taking anything from WLs, I have only taken drinks, or water, remind myself they work for $$$ and how can I use her $$$ to buy things for me.

Thanks for your advice, bro Wooden_Handle. Perhaps letting her know about my overdraft is a mistake afterall. But at that point of time, I thought it was a good way of letting her noe indirectly about me becoming a carrot head. Also it wasn't really intentional, and during TCSS this thing kinda slipped out.

Also which is why I returned what she gave me (nothing more, nothing less).

Wooden_Handle

01-02-2009, 01:22 AM

Bro C&W

NO NO, honesty is necessary for relationship and if I am you I will tell her I am on overfraft.

Thats all its essential, for them to know u not simple carrot. So they have to make the choice whether moving on or stuck together.

PLUS never take any $$$ or offer from them, no way to use their money.
Thanks for your advice, bro Wooden_Handle. Perhaps letting her know about my overdraft is a mistake afterall. But at that point of time, I thought it was a good way of letting her noe indirectly about me becoming a carrot head. Also it wasn't really intentional, and during TCSS this thing kinda slipped out.

Also which is why I returned what she gave me (nothing more, nothing less).

Wooden_Handle

01-02-2009, 01:34 AM

I am tired of new discovery, the so called hot mei mei actually trying to bluff company here to make contact in PRC, so she can say she has lots of contact to make business, but both side also 0

cablesnwires

01-02-2009, 01:38 AM

Oh, did I mention about this is eating inside me?

It is eating inside because despite what she had done, I am still trying to find a reason that she is KC-cing me. I am struggling with that reason. I'll seen and heard countless stories about WLs sucking you and hanging you high and dry.

How I wish it was a case of a parasitic WL sucking away ｆｒｏｍ its host. The only way right now is I am trying to tell myself that this is still purely a commercial transaction, which up to now I believe I'm not doing that a great job. :(

Bros here will definitely advise me to stop contacting this WL, that I am sure. Since in their opinions, I am already I kenna KC-ed big time.

cablesnwires

01-02-2009, 01:55 AM

Bro C&W

NO NO, honesty is necessary for relationship and if I am you I will tell her I am on overfraft.

Thats all its essential, for them to know u not simple carrot. So they have to make the choice whether moving on or stuck together.

PLUS never take any $$$ or offer from them, no way to use their money.

The only trump card that I have right now is to proclaim I'm retrenched (yes, it's underhanded but necessary) and will have no means of going there to see her. But this is going to be used as a last resort.

As to whether we can be together, we both know that it is impossible between us. She being in this line, and me being in Sg most of the time. But we have yet to discuss how to proceed from here, since CNY is still here.

Oh before I forget, today is 人日. To all the bros and sisters, bro C&W wishes everyone a Happy Birthday!!! May your day filled with joy and happiness.

cunt_search

01-02-2009, 08:09 AM

...o has offered to give me money when she learnt that I owe the bank money. ... by taking that stack of money, and observing her reaction to it. She felt a little uneasy of course. ..."This money may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to me. ...oan. I hope you pay back the bank and never to borrow again." I was dumbfounded the 2nd time.

....her reaction was one which showed worries.

Heck, I could have been a bastard and ....
This is what is eating inside me.

P.

er, a bit like poker / showhand
calling each other bluff?

dont say i try to put cold water, she may realised it is a test and call the bluff?
anyway what is the amount?
RMB 1000, 10,000, 100,000?

Silliporean are just brought up too kind, never cheat WL unlike WL countrymen who dont give a damn...

Oceanlee

01-02-2009, 12:20 PM

Recently chatted with someone on her marriage and was quite touched at how she tried so hard to make the r/s with hubby grow stronger and better...had a long chat with LW ytd too and all these got me thinking ... AS USUAL

Every1 will come to this stages, Its part and parcel of life-stages. Bros.

Since meeting XP and my ex ZH GF... now, I get too concerned over some of them and this is why I tot of stopping.

It is getting more and more difficult for me to draw the line clearly as we get closer and closer together...And I am tired since I see no future of any of us being a item.

All is not gone, reason you AIR IT here .... show U still awake lah.
REASON out ..... Can you HITCH IT :confused: Otherwise dun get HOOKED.

anyway, I juz got back with my GF of 7 years...(yes, the one whom I broke up with 'coz of my ZH GF)...she had been faithfully waiting for me since so we kinda rekindle recently.

也許……也許這就是命中注定，命中注定百分之一百要發生的事。大概……也許，也許是命中注定，我要對妳有感覺.

Bros, if a Woman will 傻傻的 wait for you and still single all these while, and after so long you 2 lovers still can HITCH back .... then go ahead.

Dun wait for the perfect woman (It never happened in reality)
Dun wait for the DREAMz Lady (It happened only in your Dream)
Dun wait for your emotions to RULEs U (Let your Heart and Brain tell U)
Time to let go, do so. Dun drag. for the FL,WLs, FB.
Invest in the right 1 and you see your rewards in your Golden times,

Trust u r OLD enuff to know and do the RIGHT from the wrong ;)
They are times I also "DL" but afterwhich I still tell myself ....
<<Through thick or through thin, till death doeth us apart>> :D
My motto :
执子之手，到老协手 :p

jaynick

01-02-2009, 05:56 PM

Dun wait for the perfect woman (It never happened in reality)
Dun wait for the DREAMz Lady (It happened only in your Dream)
Dun wait for your emotions to RULEs U (Let your Heart and Brain tell U)
Time to let go, do so. Dun drag. for the FL,WLs, FB.
Invest in the right 1 and you see your rewards in your Golden times,

Like the advise

HCKing

01-02-2009, 06:35 PM

Bro C&W,

I wont like to play fire with fire, especially with $$$ concern.

They may be cheated with $$$ before so they may be very careful and in their mind they changed the person's perspective.

As of taking anything from WLs, I have only taken drinks, or water, remind myself they work for $$$ and how can I use her $$$ to buy things for me.

WL r in sex trade 4 $$$, either easy $$$, fast $$$ or more $$$. if nt 4 $$$ which girl will b willing to open her legs 4 any tom, dick and harry? which is y never have anything to do with WL on credit, even 4 FOC ( fark on credit? ) fark as there will always be a price to pay 4 them in the end.( karma or revenge or heartache or watever. )

cablesnwires

01-02-2009, 08:17 PM

Dear bro aczeta76,

My sincere apologies for hijacking your thread, it won't happen again.

Wooden_Handle

01-02-2009, 11:55 PM

Sometimes even fxxk and pay $$$ also must see the WL face, like my $$$ got watermark with 'sample'...:mad:

which is y never have anything to do with WL on credit, even 4 FOC ( fark on credit? ) fark as there will always be a price to pay 4 them in the end.( karma or revenge or heartache or watever. )

HCKing

02-02-2009, 12:18 AM

Sometimes even fxxk and pay $$$ also must see the WL face, like my $$$ got watermark with 'sample'...:mad:

hehe ya i kana tat b4 too bro, but the WL will pay the price for tat by losing return business frm us. so in life there's always a price for watever things we do.

anyway, TS i think u r more of a warmblooded guy who go 4 sex + feelings, not just bonk and bye affair. if like tat sooner or later u will feel tired of chionging unless u r able to establish some sort of relationship with the desired WL tat u have feelings 4. since u have just patched back with yr gf maybe its time 4 u to take time off to re-establish yr relationship with yr gf and who knws yr gf may be able to knw hw to secure yr heart this time liao.:p

Wooden_Handle

02-02-2009, 12:48 AM

Following on tired of cheonging thread;

I had quite abit enough with these WLs, tell you the story, this hot massage lady never treat me well, never ask me to RTF, I did sometimes during past few months and had to wait for whenever she was free. During last meeting, she was exceptionally kind and requested first time to meet her on certain days before I go overseas.

Obviously, i was as per her requested, made arrangemnet to be free, but suddenly someone 'bao' her at last min and she is not available any more... I say WTF.

Now I contact her, she said go for kopi and must 'wait' hor, whats her original meaning must see before I go oversea??...:mad:

A lot of other bros also got this treatment, and they are not happy as well.

Thats why I must say its tiring when meeting this kind of exceptional unprofessional who only knows how to talk from start n no action follow.

Also bros must remind abt business deals, they will open the legs for you but their company many be doggy.

Very complicated this case, and I am tired of it also.

colins

02-02-2009, 01:04 AM

...
I had quite abit enough with these WLs, tell you the story, this hot massage lady never treat me well, never ask me to RTF, I did sometimes during past few months and had to wait for whenever she was free. During last meeting, she was exceptionally kind and requested first time to meet her on certain days before I go overseas.

Obviously, i was as per her requested, made arrangemnet to be free, but suddenly someone 'bao' her at last min and she is not available any more... I say WTF.

Now I contact her, she said go for kopi and must 'wait' hor, whats her original meaning must see before I go oversea??...:mad:

A lot of other bros also got this treatment, and they are not happy as well.

Thats why I must say its tiring when meeting this kind of exceptional unprofessional who only knows how to talk from start n no action follow.

Also bros must remind abt business deals, they will open the legs for you but their company many be doggy.

Very complicated this case, and I am tired of it also.

Oh bro wooden handle so poor thing...
I thought for her, being professional means giving you better massage rather than accompany you. The complication is in you bro. haha...:p

Wooden_Handle

02-02-2009, 01:12 AM

colins

02-02-2009, 01:14 AM

Wooden_Handle

02-02-2009, 01:19 AM

Bro there is something going in behind, bz deals working without any prior knowledge except her pussy.

Some bros had already pm me their stories, that she comes n go now, and some she is still hanging on, meeting again soon, and all the while about open legs with bz happening in between. They are worried too.

I am started to getting more and more about whole story and the background and getting my china colleagues to investigate.

Oh I see, so the issue is that you expect your WLs to keep their words and not fly aeroplane uh?

BlurWolfe

02-02-2009, 01:36 AM

I also got tricked, same WL with Wooden_Handle, she asked for RTF following week and we discussed about timing. Finally we agreed and I made note on my schedule.

The point is if she is active seeking to be 'bao' why create so much fuss to ask ppl and check and check again for their scheule.

If you want to be 'bao' stop asking people to come back for you, the decision cannot be happened within one or two days.

I have wasted my weekend and have to re-schedule my activities, SO IT IS SIANZZ or not, expecting from a professional WL who can disappear without notice.

End of story.

colins

02-02-2009, 01:44 AM

Bro there is something going in behind, bz deals working without any prior knowledge except her pussy.

Some bros had already pm me their stories, that she comes n go now, and some she is still hanging on, meeting again soon, and all the while about open legs with bz happening in between. They are worried too.

I am started to getting more and more about whole story and the background and getting my china colleagues to investigate.

Took me a while to make sense of it but then again, a pussy's a pussy. There are better things to do, mate. ;)

Wooden_Handle

02-02-2009, 01:51 AM

Bro colins,

I was also acutely surprised with the behaviour and the aftermach, thats why I want to warn the people who they dealing with.

She may be demure and wild in bed, she is never my fav. See my siggy and looking for help to fullfil.

However, is there 2nd grade samsters? Centainly I know many bros are very worry abt the deals she is proposing and thats why...:)

DO_YOU_BJ

02-02-2009, 06:40 AM

U fellas toking about that singer/FL is it?

DO_YOU_BJ

02-02-2009, 07:29 AM

HAHAHA just saw this & tot I'd share it wif you folks...makes sense

Chris Rock- View on Love and Relationships
]YouTube - Chris Rock- View on Love and Relationships (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6OaRcsfnY4&feature=related)

Chris Rock- Married Life
]YouTube - Chris Rock- Married Life (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS13dTbAdcI&feature=related)

aczeta76

02-02-2009, 10:14 AM

Think I stirred up bros again...

Paisey. Thinking thru', perhaps the fact that I am not married is giving hell since if I was, there could be less complications on the KC side as both parties would be more "firm" in acknowledging that things will not progress.

My Defn of cheonging is to keep changing FLs everyonce in a while or to have a few that you go to at anyone time.

Hence, when I meant tired. It was more to state that I am "tired" of meeting new ones. That is why I have decided to stop for a while and be contented with wat I have now.

There was a period when my Ex-ZH GF was here that I only had her for 3 months, with the exception of Xiao Ping. Maybe I am trying to search for that lost feeling.

Tired of Pubs and picking up babes as it requires me to "act" a little and even when ONS happens, things never get beyond 2 or 3 sessions b4 either of us calls it quits .. for comfort sake since personal details will start to be asked.

Dear bro aczeta76,

My sincere apologies for hijacking your thread, it won't happen again.

No worries lah bro... there is no "my" thread.. we are all sharing our thoughts and feelings here.

anyway, TS i think u r more of a warmblooded guy who go 4 sex + feelings, not just bonk and bye affair. if like tat sooner or later u will feel tired of chionging unless u r able to establish some sort of relationship with the desired WL tat u have feelings 4. since u have just patched back with yr gf maybe its time 4 u to take time off to re-establish yr relationship with yr gf and who knws yr gf may be able to knw hw to secure yr heart this time liao.:p

U r rite. To me, the act is secondary then the person. Perhaps I owe many people debts in past live so have to slowly pay back each one when I meet them loh.

R/S wise, not looking at any KC or romantic long term thing with them 'coz all these will only come with time and not pop out of the blue. But friendship, YES.

So, if we are comfortable with each other. I dun mind forsaking the fields for 2 flowers loh. They are free to enjoy the bees though I shall restrict myself to them.

Following on tired of cheonging thread;

Obviously, i was as per her requested, made arrangemnet to be free, but suddenly someone 'bao' her at last min and she is not available any more... I say WTF.

Now I contact her, she said go for kopi and must 'wait' hor, whats her original meaning must see before I go oversea??...:mad:

A lot of other bros also got this treatment, and they are not happy as well.

Thats why I must say its tiring when meeting this kind of exceptional unprofessional who only knows how to talk from start n no action follow.

Very complicated this case, and I am tired of it also.

Sounds complicated. To me, I always bear in mind that they are here for $$$ and if they can secure more from someone else then me.. then I ask them to go for it. We can meet when we are free. Afterall, their youth is limited.

However, I agree that it would be terrible for them to agree to meet you then fly aeroplane. Dunno why, so far... the ones I am close with will always inform me ahead if they got whole-day appt or overseas "trips" so that I wun feel wierd when I can find them... this is not reporting but more of a friend thing loh, perhaps because I also tell them if I am goign away for a while.

Thinking back, the darnest thing I did was to give my Ex-ZH GF my credit/atm card during my week long trip overseas as I was worried that she may need urgent cash (As she remits money every 2 days)

She never went about using it or drawing cash from it so that was wat made me care more for her. Perhaps the xxK inside was too little for her to risk it..

Afterall, I am not those Towkay or big time spender whom will be able to take care of all her needs.

I have a lot of pussy in waiting and I want to share this kind of unprofessional attitude towards some of bros being affected..

Herein lies the crux... u are anticipating her pussy hence u feel unsatisfied. For me, the act is a bonus. So while I feel lost if she were to cancel on me, my thoughts do not go to the other FLs... I just go for a walk or jio some friends for last minute drinks at the pubs..

HCKing

02-02-2009, 10:19 AM

Chop chop I not even complicated, just that its so bloody unfair when after her request and made all arrangemnet for certain time and next.. 'we go n drink kopi'

I have a lot of pussy in waiting and I want to share this kind of unprofessional attitude towards some of bros being affected..

times r really bad nw, and who knws might get worse so i believe there will be more of such antics in days to come as most of them will want to squeeze as much $$$ in the shortest time as possible.some of the possible scenarios may be:

-more of them moonlighting btw KTV and FLing and will try their very best to get bao along the way. after bao liao maybe will still stead eat outside.

-prices of them will drop resulting in more rush jobs and less GFE since they need to service more customers to cover the loss.no longer relying on regulars for RTF.

-more powderful lies and tricks to con $$$. afterall, its the survival of the fittest nw liao.

cablesnwires

03-02-2009, 01:28 PM

No worries lah bro... there is no "my" thread.. we are all sharing our thoughts and feelings here.

Was feeling awful and needed something to vent out my feelings. :)

... I just go for a walk or jio some friends for last minute drinks at the pubs..

Means that next time you go pubs with your friends, u are being stood up. :D

Sorry bro aczeta76, I just couldn't resist taking a dig out of this. :D

aczeta76

03-02-2009, 01:37 PM

Was feeling awful and needed something to vent out my feelings. :)

Means that next time you go pubs with your friends, u are being stood up. :D

Sorry bro aczeta76, I just couldn't resist taking a dig out of this. :D

Nah... no worries... no one knows my identity of SBF.. oops

hahaha...Was feeling in a "thinking" mood also these few days as needed to work out how to plan "retired" life since not asking for new ctcs liao.

Next time u know... see slayer got new intro .. see Bunitiq also got intro... aiyoh...

Hengz resolve in strong...Hope my Plan A doesn't leave so soon and hope Plan B works out.

aczeta76

03-02-2009, 05:33 PM

Read this recently...Kinda pissed today with a few separate things that added up to realli irk me.

《〈你一点也不傻〉〉

　　男人常常会把这句话挂在嘴边。

　　“不要以为我是傻的！”

　　无论遇到什么生气的事，或者觉得被人欺骗了，男人便会悻悻然地提醒你，他比你看得到的要聪明得多，他比你以为的还要厉害百倍。

　　男人都觉得自己不笨，他最无法忍受的，是你侮辱他的智慧。

　　你可以不爱他，但是不要欺骗他，以为他什么也不知道。

　　你可以跟他翻脸，但不要以为他不知道你在想什么。

　　女人从来不会对男人说：

　　“哼！你以为我是傻女吗？”

　　这样说是多么的傻？

　　当她所爱的男人对她说：“你真是傻女！”她不但不会生气，反而觉得幸福。“傻女”就等于“蜜糖”和“宝贝”，没有哪个女人听见后不会灿然微笑。

　　男人想成为女人心中的英雄和智者；女人却只想成为男人心中的小傻瓜。

　　他以为她有时候很笨，很糊涂，这有什么关系呢？当他疼爱一个人，才会说她傻。

　　疼爱一个男人的方法，却是永远不要让他觉得自己在做一些不值得的傻事。

Maybe I have been a foolish lad and that is why I often care too much for others... perhaps it is time to face reality?

bedtime-stories

03-02-2009, 08:48 PM

Maybe I have been a foolish lad and that is why I often care too much for others... perhaps it is time to face reality?

after reading,perhaps u r the more "kind hearted" :) kind of guy..not in foolish but kind of indulge in things too much..its always time when we felt emotional that we think maybe its time to face reality n be on the stronger side n not let our feelings get the better of us..;) for me now i'm also kind of stuck in no man's land..also been a "kind hearted" guy to someone but now in the end i realised that perhaps i'm not the only "kind hearted" guy in her working life as she's also stuck with one at home...:( after diff thoughts that wander ard my mind when i'm with her,today jus had a diff feeling when we had dinner together..kept so quiet that she jus walked off..hai.. :confused:

cunt_search

03-02-2009, 11:05 PM

...now in the end i realised that perhaps i'm not the only "kind hearted" guy in her working life as she's also stuck with one at home... ...dinner together..kept so quiet that she jus walked off..hai..

eh, what is the moral of the story?

i cheong hc, ktv, pubs, disco, FL
RTF HC but each lot of 45mins to chitchat and FJ:)
RTF KTV - longer time (4 hrs) chitchat and Body Massage: D
Outing - Shopping (GFE):cool:
H81 - ST/ LT - (GFE); )
FL - pure FJ
Pubs / Disco : Look for ONS, still have yet to succeed:p

the Creator maketh MAN to be lust fool and Emotional weaklings (yet have to appear strong from outside)....

ekemono

03-02-2009, 11:17 PM

Compassion

04-02-2009, 01:26 AM

Read this recently...Kinda pissed today with a few separate things that added up to realli irk me.

Maybe I have been a foolish lad and that is why I often care too much for others... perhaps it is time to face reality?

Caring too much for others is a virtue. It only becomes a liability when it becomes conditional.

Mother Theresa loved others not because they are lovable or expecting them to love her in return. She loved because she has a heart of love.

It is not foolishness when you often care for others because you have a compassionate heart, it is foolishness when you care with conditions. You care for others because they need care not because you need them to care for you.

Don't swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and harden your heart. You will only hurt yourself in the long run. Persevere on and you will be rewarded. All things will be made beautiful in its own time.

aczeta76

04-02-2009, 10:45 AM

Congratulation TS. You have just been promoted to the next level of cheongster. Your exposure to pure lust have looses its piority and the next level is emotional attachment. Not that I mean looking for a wife, but rather a regular gal that offer more than sex alone. How long you stay at this level is up to individual, but after that you will settle down, unless you had been hit hard and snap. Then you will drive yourself back to lust and "vengence".

U r rite in saying this. I have passed the phase of going for big boobs, fair skin, bbbj & service, ONS, 拱腰 etc.

Been there, seen that.. so now it is like looking for someone whom I can be comfortable with for sex but doesn't come with the attachment.

To me, the act is secondary... the process is more impt.

I had wanted to settle down with my Ex-ZH GF one year ago as she was on a 2 year pass but fate will have it otherwise so after that you could see how I went through your cycle of lust and vegence for quite a few mths.

Now... I am more cautious in "settling" down.. no bao-ing 'coz it creates committment..

Caring too much for others is a virtue. It only becomes a liability when it becomes conditional.

It is not foolishness when you often care for others because you have a compassionate heart, it is foolishness when you care with conditions. You care for others because they need care not because you need them to care for you.

Don't swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and harden your heart. You will only hurt yourself in the long run. Persevere on and you will be rewarded. All things will be made beautiful in its own time.

Ya.. bro compassion.. I know, juz that I dun like to impose on others. If I think that the person is trying to accommodate me for various reasons, I baulk and get angry 'coz to me, no one should force themselves (to matters relating to me) for any reason...

Been watching this series 命中注定我爱你 over CNY. My Ex-ZH GF had called me to tell me about this show happily over the phone last year as she knows I will like it.

Watched it and true enuff, it touches me in different ways.Esp some of the quotes like the ones below.

Anyway, we shall see how lah. I dun like to play mind-games with FLs as I have enuff of those at work and with customers... I have deliberately kept my spending low in the cheonging scene so as not to give reason for people to KC me... (Hard lession learnt from KTV days)

So we shall see lah... everyday is a new beginning.!! Enjoy the quotes which makes me think quite a bit.

- 她很方便，用过之后可以随手抛弃，呼之即来挥之即去，不占空间永远安静，她就是便利贴女孩
---什么是便利贴啊?
---便利贴就是想要的时候随手就可以拿到，不想要的时候就可以随手扔掉。好撕，不粘手。不留痕迹，容易忘记。

This makes me think of how some of us (me incl) sometimes treat the WL/FL... Is it rite? I dunno

- 不要以为我不喊痛，就没有感觉！

This is the mask we always wear... cannot show fear or emotions with friends, lovers, family... everything muz shoulder ourselves...haiz

- 每一个baby都是上帝牵著手带到这个世界上来的，没有任何一个是意外。孕育每一个生命都不是意外，而是命中注定。

This one I cannot relate to fully as I have no kids to speak off.. but it does relate to RAW... Shiok -- YES... Dangerous -- YES BUT... The right thing -- NO.. coz if a baby was made and you have to abort then this is one of the greatest evil a man can do to any women.

- 人家说女人被骗第一次是纯真，第二次是无知，第三次就是愚蠢。我只知道第一次是偶然，第二次是必然，第三次就是命中注定。
- 也许...也许这就是命中注定，命中注定百分之一百要发生的事。大概...也许，也许是命中注定，我要对你有感觉。
- 如果我从来没有认识过你，如果我都是一个人，我一定不会哭的。

Such is fate... no use to fight it when it starts and no use to fight it when it ends becoz of you.

- 幸福--让人觉得温暖，安全，又有一种如履薄冰的恐慌，好像随时会消失。
- 对我的好，已经超过了我可以负荷的一百倍。请你不要对我这麼好，我会信以为真的。

This is why I dun like to KC too much... roller coaster ride is no fun.. some of us have been through it.. I know the tricks that many FLs are up to but if I care enuff for them, I pretend I dun know...

If I realli care for them... then I run away...Committment, no matter for how shaort a period should not be a word easily uttered.

sabaixxx

04-02-2009, 10:16 PM

bro altis..i really feel for u.....i also kena this kind of PHUA KANG TAOs a few times...not every time zhen xin will come zhen qing.....bro hope u will recover soon....

LostALau

05-02-2009, 10:00 AM

Bro, i once had that tot too......
Changed my lifestyle from cheongster to down to earth man......
Nearly died.......
At least now, i know, since i'm already back to the scene for a while, i always remind myself what my sifu always reminds me.......
It's all entertainment it will pass and dun take it to heart & you'll be fine.

If you look at it from how my sifu advised me bro, you'll see, bcos you dun treat them as entertainment but more than that, look how it affected you.
Just sharing my tots bro.

Bro Do-yr-Bj,

Perhaps u didn't fully understand what yr sifu taught you as u have not reached the state of understanding (or enlightening as some called it) yet.

Whether u are committed to a long term r/s or a fling, they are all temporary entertainments, the difference being one lasts longer and the other is very short. Our lives are all temporary, some could be as short as a few hours while some last a few decades or slightly longer.
In the end everything will diminish and end.

We can perhaps make our stay more meaningful by enjoying ourselves and by helping and bringing joys to those we meet during our life journey.

If you have decided to bring joy to someone whom u feel very closed to and committed to make her happy, do not do anything that hurts her. If u cannot behave yourself as naturally men are born naughty sometimes, then do whatever you want discreetly and keep to your limits.
Orr-mee-torr-fatt!

mike1304k

05-02-2009, 10:51 AM

For me I feel that like life, cheonging also has its ups and its downs. Like the sea or ocean, it is always changing. So when the down part comes, either through one's own tiredness of looking for new babes, when one feels kinda lonely and empty (this can cause a temporary "sians" of cheonging because you will feel that the ladies you have in your life are all just after your money), or when you are running low on funds or for whatever reason.

Take it as a chance to revitalise yourself, and or reflect. From there you can choose new directions or new avenues or can choose old ones. The choice is up to you. You just need to take the time to enjoy the time you have with yourself and not worry about anything or anybody.

But one thing you must always remember and this has been learnt the hard way for me is that we have to always remember:

1) If you want to play, you will have to be able to pay. In paying, I mean by means of KC, emotions, blackmail, time, and so on. If you are not prepared, then please do not play.

2) If you want to give money, time or emotions, do give only what you can throw away. Do not give and then start to cry that you have been had or what.

3) Treat the WL as a human being, because ultimately they are such. So do not try to exploit them and do not allow them to exploit you!!

For me, I do not go RAW anymore, I always pay and I take it as a business transaction. I go to the pub, I rubba rubba, I pay and I go. The ladies want my number or ask me if I am married, I will say I do not give numbers out and I am married. If they ask me to go out for lunch, dinner or supper I will do so, but then leave after. If I visit FL or GL it is just pay to play and leave without regrets. You will have to establish your own rules and your own terms and conditions and this can be done when you are in your down period and it will give you a better idea of how your next step will be.

Cheers.

bedtime-stories

05-02-2009, 11:03 AM

well said bro mike..y milk from 1 cow when u have a whole alley full of cows..milk tastes all the same..

aczeta76

05-02-2009, 11:08 AM

aczeta76

05-02-2009, 11:10 AM

well said bro mike..y milk from 1 cow when u have a whole alley full of cows..milk tastes all the same..

Actually.. there is difference lah... at least to me

mike1304k

05-02-2009, 11:22 AM

Actually.. there is difference lah... at least to me

Hehehe... I was talking about going through the valley of cows leh... I was just saying that sometimes when you are down, old cow, new cow oso seems sians.... But actually to be frank, trying to look for new cows may also make the situation worse lah...for some people that is...

aczeta76

05-02-2009, 11:41 AM

Hehehe... I was talking about going through the valley of cows leh... I was just saying that sometimes when you are down, old cow, new cow oso seems sians.... But actually to be frank, trying to look for new cows may also make the situation worse lah...for some people that is...

True true indeed.... haiz... no new cows for me now..ranch is privatised for selected ones only

Now.. I use the spare time (when will discrease quite a bit along the away) to post some ice candy on the image sharing thread loh..

HCKing

05-02-2009, 11:52 AM

the main problem is guys always mixed sex with love. if want sex - find WL. if want love - find a decent gf. easy as that. wat makes it difficult is when and hw to draw the line btw the 2. so it really depends on individual's clearmindedness when he chiong. to me i would say, if a guy says he 'love' the girl but has no long term plans for both of them i believe he is merely infactuated with her, not love. its like buying a brand new sports car but have no plans of hw to maximize its usage thereafter. in the spiderman movie, peter parker says with power comes great responsibilities, same goes 4 love, which is y the trade of WL exist, 4 guys to bonk and forget, without responsibilities. so guys tat intend to have serious relationships with WL or marry them will have to seriously ask themselves if they r really ready to shoulder the responsibilities, if not everything is just 镜花水月 - as gd as it lasts.

KonKam

05-02-2009, 12:17 PM

My Opinion..

For me,
Why we easily fall for opposite sex?

coz Companionship(other than sex lo)....someone to talk to...etc...

Just wan someone to dote on you.....feel wanted and appreciated...

IGrew

05-02-2009, 01:37 PM

For me there is difference between just pay, hv fun and go. After some time all holes are the same. It becomes mechanical and no fulfillment.

Whereas when relationship is involved it makes the lovemaking part more enjoyable. It can be emotional at times, but overall still worth it.

aczeta76

05-02-2009, 02:20 PM

Whereas when relationship is involved it makes the lovemaking part more enjoyable. It can be emotional at times, but overall still worth it.

U go for the KC to increase spice in bonking...which is normal and good.

Me used to be like that.. now go for the KC for the sake of KC... bonking secondary... that is what is scary and making me review the ladies I visit.

Since my GF came back, hardly meet my ex-FB now so at least better for a while as I sort out things n busy myself at work

cunt_search

05-02-2009, 09:41 PM

..when relationship is involved it makes the lovemaking part more enjoyable. It can be emotional at times, but overall still worth it.

...coz Companionship(other than sex lo)....someone to talk to...etc...Just wan someone to dote on you.....feel wanted and appreciated...

agreed, sex w/o feelings is so bland...
got take oso mus got giv tho:D

aczeta76

06-02-2009, 11:43 PM

Did some more thinking today, maybe drink a bit too much juz now...

Think I am being a little unfair to someone by imposing the feelings I have for my ex-zh GF on her...Afterall, haven't known each other long enuff to justify how I am or intending to treat her

By jumping ahead in the r/s, I feel that it is not proper and I am also not being true to her...

Mainly be'coz of her.. too much similarity with my Ex-ZH GF and also reminds me lotsa Wu Li. I think maybe I should be very careful and not allow any KC to develop at all...before I fall in deeper.

I already took the 1st step by telling her that I get it on quite often with my girl so that I draw the line clean but then somehow, I still care.

In fact, I am thinkg of quitting all others (except YKK and Liwei if they come back 'coz I owe them as friends) so long as she is here. Even this may change if we get to know each other better.

I get this nagging feel that she will be the 2nd one who can make me cheong down to GL in 15 mins if I sense she is in trouble...scary thoughts..:(

Maybe this time I should 长痛不如短痛。。。:cool:

Dunno...time to sleep and let the liquor clear b4 thinking clearly

colins

07-02-2009, 02:48 AM

yongzhen

07-02-2009, 06:46 AM

aczeta76

07-02-2009, 08:26 AM

bro aczeta, sometimes I really wonder, why are you surrounding yourself with FLs trying to convert them as friends? Its like since day 1 that I am actively posting here (now I have 2 points) your ZH gf has always been popping up in most of your posts. I mean, can easily tell that you have not let go of her. Is that why you constantly seek similarities to relive your memories?

The amount of self-doubt is so tremendous that even if you are not seeking similarities, you start to have doubts against your own intention. Are you afraid that someone might give you the reason to run to GL in 15mins, or are you SEEKING for that someone? Is that the true reason why you are tired or cheonging? that you are tired of seeking her shadow?

Face it bro, you have to decide if your ZH girl is gonna be in your life or not. Painful but once, or forever suffer the open wound.

Yah... Clearer minded after a sleep...

My Ex-ZH GF is out of the picture... There is little or no hope that we will ever meet again..only memories remains.

My concern now is to prevent such a situation from happening again.

On the friend thing, hahaha.... I am a friendly person but not all FLs are my friends... some are still F & FO.. no effort used to KC them at all coz I dun care that much but for 2 or 3 of them, we juz click well and somehow, we become somewhat more than customer-FL loh, normal friends who enjoy ML but can meet for many other things.

I think I will close a chapter on my life and stick to only one person now for the meantime. Will consciously not try to be too friendly with her so that complications do not develop.

I am tired of cheonging... tired of listening to sweet talk and tired of meeting new girls.

Perhaps this would be a good chance to focus on work and the occasional RnR with her would be good enuff.

Colins, thanks for reminding me not to live in shadows. I have deleted a few persons number from my HP.. so it is history for them... My doubts largely stems from the fact that I do not want to let anyone down, for watever reason till they prove unworthy of my trust in them

The rest... I leave to fate and with my reduced cheonging, I should be more or less having less doubts.

aczeta76

07-02-2009, 11:57 AM

Reading some books and came across a few articles... tot of sharing them here over the next few days

妮歌洁文在谈到她那位美国首席靓仔小生丈夫汤克鲁斯时说：“我为他而沉迷，他是我的毒药。” 一个男人获封为毒药是无上光荣，大部分男人都不过是普通成药。

有些男人是胃药，当你胃里空荡荡或胃酸过多时，可以找他陪你吃吃饭，但他绝不是可以陪你吃一辈子饭的人选。

有些男人只是止痛药，在你失恋之后，可以找他陪你度过伤心寂寞的日子，但他终究不是你想爱的人。

如果可以，谁愿意吃止痛药？

有些男人是伤风感冒药，吃不吃药，伤风感冒还是会全愈的，这种男人可有可无。

有些男人是减肥药，如果不是到了最后一步，谁肯要他？

有些男人是避孕药，不要他没有安全感，要他，又有副作用。

有些男人是事后丸，是逼不得已才要他。

有些男人是维他命丸，他健康正气，令你不愁生活，但欠缺个性。

有些男人是春药，他喜欢上床多过谈情。

只有毒药，令人沉迷，非要不可，明知他是毒，还是甘心情愿服毒，直至肝肠寸断。
---------------

Think some of it applies to ladies.. to SO which one am I to whom??

Maybe it does not really matter to me.. after all, 岂能尽如人意，但求无愧我心。

DRSG

07-02-2009, 12:07 PM

Dont be tired of cheonging bro.Just cheong with FLs that are worth it selectively.For me we are still animals and need to satisfy our need.Now will go for FLs nothing less than a 8/10 look and body.Even if poor GFE.Once WeiWei(8/10 to 9/10 look classic beauty in figure and looks) is back will pm you her ctc to gauge whether you still tired of cheonging.

cablesnwires

07-02-2009, 12:14 PM

只有毒药，令人沉迷，非要不可，明知他是毒，还是甘心情愿服毒，直至肝肠寸断。
---------------

Everything stated in your list at certain times and places, you will be like that, except of course, the last in your list. Not to dig at you, but judging from your thread, it seems to be. :o

aczeta76

07-02-2009, 12:25 PM

Everything stated in your list at certain times and places, you will be like that, except of course, the last in your list. Not to dig at you, but judging from your thread, it seems to be. :o

明知不可为而为之。。。

and it could be 命中注定！

But I will approach carefully...beware false prophets ... rings in my mind constantly

Thanks, bro... time to go for site meeting liao

DO_YOU_BJ

07-02-2009, 12:36 PM

When a beautiful dream ends, keep it in good memory
Dun hold on to dreams that has ended
Else, like above, all past will affect future......
Like i mention before, the chains of the past can hold you back only if you choose to hook them to the wall and yourself.........
No one else can hook you or release you but only yourself.
The choice is obvious, but sadly, many choose to live in dreams rather than reality!

ekemono

08-02-2009, 01:33 AM

I have deleted a few persons number from my HP.. so it is history for them... .

didn't wan to be a wet blanket but someone did say this before in a thread.
You can delete the number aka. her in the mobile, but can you delete the number aka. her here (your heart) ??

largely I am referring to your Zh gf.
You got to reclaim your heart back so that you can enrich it to give it to the true one. Without it, you are souless and empty inside.

aczeta76

08-02-2009, 12:21 PM

didn't wan to be a wet blanket but someone did say this before in a thread.
You can delete the number aka. her in the mobile, but can you delete the number aka. her here (your heart) ??

largely I am referring to your Zh gf.
You got to reclaim your heart back so that you can enrich it to give it to the true one. Without it, you are souless and empty inside.

True... Time will heal all... I hope.

DO_YOU_BJ

08-02-2009, 12:49 PM

Bro aczeta, time will heal all wounds...YES!
But that's provided if you want it to heal.
We've known each other in this forum for quite a while liao, and for someone who's a lao jiao like you, it's impossible to believe that time will heal this would.
Maybe you shud stop lying to yourself and just ask yourself a very simple question.
你放得下吗？
From all your posts from then till now, it's pretty obvious你根本就放不下.
Like i've posted in the other thread, at the end of the day, it's all up to you.
You live for the past of future my brudder.
People like you, so kind hearted, so much 人情，so much人性 and always treating these ghosts as human........bro......as a friend, i would advise to you stop cheonging....it will be your downfall.

Allow me to share an incident wif you that just happened yesterday.
A friend of mine has this chick, a WL of cos........here's the story

Guy meets gal, likes her.
Gal offends me at KTV, got herself pissed drunk in room and freaks me out even more.
Boss appears and apologises to me promise to send her back immediately......but little did i know, at the sidelines, my friend said something i didnt hear: 留条路给人走
For WLs who offend me in the nightscene, it's 110% that they'll be sent back....but once the manager there told me this in my face, what my friend said, i have to swallow my tongue and give him face....why? Cos he is soft hearted and like the bitch.
Guy continues fling wif gal, goes out to have sessions wif her and little did i know, starts buying her things????????????
When i heard it, i was totally FREAKED! Why? Cos i heard it from other WLs and not him.
Of cos, infront of the WLs, i maintain composure la.
Then i asked him if it were true, his replies we shocking but not unexpected........things like, she needs them, so poor thing, feel sad for her plight blah blah...........
All these while, from day one, i've been warning him not to be in KC again, cos this guy aint a newbird.
But his replies tells me, he aint and can never be a player......why?????? Cos got too much humanity in him liao....
Couple of days ago, she sms him in the wee hours of the morning and was caught by his wife.
The rest no need to elaborate but all i can say is his cheonging days are shelved for the moment.

Now yesterday, i sms that gal.
Gave her a peice of my mind blah blah and what she did, of cos, at all time, the sent and received smses were cc'ed to 4 parties to keep them in the loop as well as be witnesses........him included.........
What she did was most amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Dear 哥哥i really didnt mean to sabo him, i feel so bad for him and for what i did!!!!!!!!!!
I dun tink i'm suitable to work in this line......mind you, this gal was already working in KTVs in Shanghai prior to coming here
Maybe you can help me pass a message to him for me. Tell him to buy an air ticket for me to go home!!!!!!!
Wat da fark.......still got cheek to ask people to buy ticket for you..............
So i just continued to F her and next thing, she reply me, you coming over to happy tonight? Wa kaoz.....simi lanjiao man...this fellow power......wat a quick switch
All these while, my guy friend was in the loop.............
At the end of the day, my friend msged me to say that he's too soft hearted and that's he's weakness.
It's all in the mind.
My reply was, yeah, she looks, feels, smells & sounds very real, but it aint.
If one can never apply this into his mind when he cheong, he'll always be a victim of this web.
Many WLs love men like that, cos they're the easiest prey....just touch your heart & let the humanity side of the victim flow baby...........
And i'm the opposite, WLs always stay away from me.......not bcos i got no $$$$$, cos they can see this one 抓不住的而会玩死自己.
That's Y, i have very little headaches when it comes to this.

Bro, you see the similarities in the moral of the story above and you?
To me, if you got so much love and emotion to share, share it wif people who really deserve it......not WLs

Dun you think it's time you moved on wif your life bro?

colins

08-02-2009, 01:06 PM

A common misconception - time heals all wound.

Fact - time makes the wound bearable and time makes it a part of you. Only when you are hit again at the same spot then you will know, time hasn't heal it, you've only learnt to escape and ignore it in order to live with it.

bro aczeta, DYBJ is correct in saying 你放不下因为你不肯放下. That is the start of all escapes and it affects your life as a whole. It makes you feel lethargic without knowing why. It makes you feel what you are seeking isn't what you really want. It makes you feel hopeless and despair. In the end, you din retire from the scene but you ESCAPE from the scene. Find the source bro and kill it. If not you're forever runnning in circles.

HCKing

08-02-2009, 01:52 PM

came across this article online written by a PRC guy on their KTV girls. Pretty interesting.

再次坐在电脑面前，已经是凌晨三点半有多了，或许是酒精的缘故，又或是那份不安宁的心灵，我还是无法继续正常的入睡，半醉半醒之间，陪着朋友匆匆的告别KTV包间去机场取标书！

已经是记不昨多少次了，除了回家探新的那七天时间外，从七月底到现在，几乎每天晚上都是在酒吧或是KTV里渡过的，仅是这个九月，今天六号，但我已经是有三天是在KTV、一天在酒吧里渡过的！

我不知道，自已到底醉了多回了，也不知道，自已是什么时候算是真正的清醒过，不是想喝酒，只是觉得喝酒能让我忘记这一切，至少能让我暂时的忘记这无边的孤独与寂寞！

我无法记起每次那些个陪酒的小姝的脸，尽管是逢场作戏而已，但仍会让我觉得恶心，看着一个个所谓的清纯美女，看着一个个所谓的性格女孩儿，看着她们用自已的身体紧紧的依偎着身边的朋友，依偎着我，我觉得一切都TM D好假好假......

她们之间，有所谓的女人，也有所谓的女孩儿，有来自农村的，也有来自于城市所谓某一阶层的，有所谓高中生，也有所谓的大学生，但这一切，都和我没有任何关系，她们长得再美再漂亮，都和我没有什么关系！

我不需要怜悯她们，也不需要对她们展现所谓的温柔，更不会对她们说什么甜言蜜语，我只想让我的眼睛游走于她们的身体上，她们的脸，她们的唇，她们的脖子，还有那雪白的高耸处，随我的目光游走的，还有我的手.... ..

我不是圣人，也更TMD不是什么君子，我只想在这个时候做一个小人，一个在你的眼中或是她的眼中的小人而已！这个时候，我不会去想什么TMD爱，也不会去想着负TMD什么责任，我只是一个寻欢客而已！

当然，我不会和她们上床，尽管很多次都有过这样的念头，但对我来说，只是念头而已，和一个欢场上的女人上床，连我自已都会觉得太恶心！想想也是，一个欢场上的女子能和我上床，也同样能和别的男人上床，一个人尽可夫的女人，我觉得这和一个用过的安全套没什么两样，都TMD是垃圾，都TMD是次品！

我看着她们喝醉，喝不醉的，我可以把她们灌醉，我看着她们说着口是心非的话语，我看着她们编织着一个又一个美丽的谎言，什么凄惨的身世，什么不得已的苦衷，什么男朋友的背叛，情人的出轨，什么为了生存，等等等等，我看着她们如何在沉沦中享受着眼前的这一切，这和我，从来都没有什么关系，能有什么关系呢？这个世界上，有很多捷径可以走，但无论她们选择了什么样的捷径，无论她们选择了什么样的路，都必须有接受这种后果的勇气！

她们每人只需要一两百块钱的小费而已，就可以让我感受到所谓女人的温存，就会让我感受到放纵带来的快感，我会不损失什么，也不需要得到什么，更加不会受到什么伤害！所以我留恋这一切，所以我享受这一切，我抛弃所有的烦恼无杂念，只有在那一刻，我才会感觉，我TMD觉得自已活着才像个活人！

古语曾有云：欢场无真爱，戏子无真情！逢场作戏而已，我只是一个寻欢客，我只是一个买醉人，所以我没有什么愧疚，也没有什么所谓同情，我只是想让自已开心一些而已，我只是想自已不再孤独而已！

我越来越无法让自已醉得再久一些，再多的酒，我仍然保持着我的清醒，即使吐了，我仍会在吐完后，继续拿起一瓶酒，然后继续我的放纵，我只是想让自已更加的麻醉，在欢声笑语中，在莺歌艳舞中，在那纵情高歌与声斯力竭的呐喊声中，我放纵我的内心，与之一起放纵的，还有我那孤独的灵魂......

Harvest

08-02-2009, 04:02 PM

Here's how we are created:

1) Men are sexually predatory

2) Women are sexually manipulative

When the sexual predator gets caught in an explicit web of emotional entanglement with the sexual manipulator, thaz the start of all these KC problems. The longer the entanglement, the harder the exit.

Look at the big picture and make a decisive decision, TS! Itz all in the mind! :cool:

cunt_search

08-02-2009, 11:55 PM

came across this article online written by a PRC guy on their KTV girls. Pretty interesting.

..
已经是记不昨多少次了...

...至少能让我暂时的忘记这无边的孤独与寂寞！

...都TMD好假好假......

...，也有所谓的大学生，但这一切，都和我没有任何关系，她们长得再美再漂亮，都和我没有什么关系！

我不需要怜悯她们，也不需要对她们展现所谓的温柔，更不会对她们说什么甜言蜜语，我只想让我的眼睛游走于她们的身体上，她们的脸，她们的唇，她们的脖子，还有那雪白的高耸处，随我的目光游走的，还有我的手.... ..

...，我觉得这和一个用过的安全套没什么两样，都TMD是垃圾，都TMD是次品！

我看着她们喝醉，喝不醉的，我可以把她们灌醉，...都必须有接受这种后果的勇气！

她们每人只需要一两百块钱的小费而已，就可以让我感受到所谓女人的温存，就会让我感受到放纵带来的快感，. ..TMD觉得自已活着才像个活人！

古语曾有云：欢场无真爱，戏子无真情！逢场作戏而已，...我只是想自已不再孤独而已！

...是想让自已更加的麻醉，在欢声笑语中，在莺歌艳舞中，在那纵情高歌与声斯力竭的呐喊声中，我放纵我的内心，与之一起放纵的，还有我那孤独的灵魂......[/SIZE]

a bit lengthy but good description of men's loneliness out there; sound close to home:)

Here's how we are created:

When the sexual predator gets caught in an explicit web of emotional entanglement with the sexual manipulator, thaz the start of all these KC problems. The longer the entanglement, the harder the exit.

er, guess i one of the entangled:D

aczeta76

09-02-2009, 09:58 AM

Bro aczeta, time will heal all wounds...YES!
But that's provided if you want it to heal.
We've known each other in this forum for quite a while liao, and for someone who's a lao jiao like you, it's impossible to believe that time will heal this would.
Maybe you shud stop lying to yourself and just ask yourself a very simple question.
你放得下吗？
From all your posts from then till now, it's pretty obvious你根本就放不下.
Like i've posted in the other thread, at the end of the day, it's all up to you.
You live for the past of future my brudder.
People like you, so kind hearted, so much 人情，so much人性 and always treating these ghosts as human........bro......as a friend, i would advise to you stop cheonging....it will be your downfall.

Bro, you see the similarities in the moral of the story above and you?
To me, if you got so much love and emotion to share, share it wif people who really deserve it......not WLs

Dun you think it's time you moved on wif your life bro?

A common misconception - time heals all wound.

Fact - time makes the wound bearable and time makes it a part of you. Only when you are hit again at the same spot then you will know, time hasn't heal it, you've only learnt to escape and ignore it in order to live with it.

It makes you feel hopeless and despair. In the end, you din retire from the scene but you ESCAPE from the scene. .

There is some truth in this. Even now, part of me still yearns for her. In a way, the fact that she is unable to come here may be a blessing in disuguise for me.

Bro DYBJ, Colin

I am kinda a sentimental ol' school person. Believe in 得饶人处且饶人 and that if I had met someone, fate has arranged something so juz follow my heart. 就算输了，也要无怨无悔

I believe in 博爱 i.e. that we should always try to be the 仁者 and give people the benefit of the doubt when possible.

True, I am not suited for cheonging hence the current thoughts of leaving the scene...Part of me want to F & FO, no strings attached and I have done that for some of the ones I have visited before.

For others, being TS for them means I care a little more for them and that is where the line is blurred.

Perhaps, I should just stick to massage...where sex is not involved. Else...

Thanks bro... I always appreciate your views as you have seen more of this cheonging world than me.

came across this article online written by a PRC guy on their KTV girls. Pretty interesting.

[SIZE="3"]再次坐在电脑面前，已经是凌晨三点半有多了，或许是酒精的缘故，又或是那份不安宁的心灵，我还是无法继续正常的入睡，半醉半醒之间，陪着朋友匆匆的告别KTV包间去机场取标书！

SIZE]

This a really a guy pissed.. so many TMD... For those of you, who dun know.. it meas 他妈的...

I agree with what he says to an extent but my previous life with the govt had exposed me to a good deal of people who have stayed at the various GOVT Chalets and even for them, I see good and the propensity to be better people if they wish to.

Everyone choses our own path for different reasons...I will forget her as it would be for her good.

slider_72

09-02-2009, 11:37 AM

Guy meets gal, likes her.
Gal offends me at KTV, got herself pissed drunk in room and freaks me out even more.
Boss appears and apologises to me promise to send her back immediately......but little did i know, at the sidelines, my friend said something i didnt hear: 留条路给人走
For WLs who offend me in the nightscene, it's 110% that they'll be sent back....but once the manager there told me this in my face, what my friend said, i have to swallow my tongue and give him face....why? Cos he is soft hearted and like the bitch.
Guy continues fling wif gal, goes out to have sessions wif her and little did i know, starts buying her things????????????
When i heard it, i was totally FREAKED! Why? Cos i heard it from other WLs and not him.
Of cos, infront of the WLs, i maintain composure la.
Then i asked him if it were true, his replies we shocking but not unexpected........things like, she needs them, so poor thing, feel sad for her plight blah blah...........
All these while, from day one, i've been warning him not to be in KC again, cos this guy aint a newbird.
But his replies tells me, he aint and can never be a player......why?????? Cos got too much humanity in him liao....
Couple of days ago, she sms him in the wee hours of the morning and was caught by his wife.
The rest no need to elaborate but all i can say is his cheonging days are shelved for the moment.

Now yesterday, i sms that gal.
Gave her a peice of my mind blah blah and what she did, of cos, at all time, the sent and received smses were cc'ed to 4 parties to keep them in the loop as well as be witnesses........him included.........
What she did was most amazing!!!!!!!!!!
Dear 哥哥i really didnt mean to sabo him, i feel so bad for him and for what i did!!!!!!!!!!
I dun tink i'm suitable to work in this line......mind you, this gal was already working in KTVs in Shanghai prior to coming here
Maybe you can help me pass a message to him for me. Tell him to buy an air ticket for me to go home!!!!!!!
Wat da fark.......still got cheek to ask people to buy ticket for you..............
So i just continued to F her and next thing, she reply me, you coming over to happy tonight? Wa kaoz.....simi lanjiao man...this fellow power......wat a quick switch
All these while, my guy friend was in the loop.............
At the end of the day, my friend msged me to say that he's too soft hearted and that's he's weakness.
It's all in the mind.
My reply was, yeah, she looks, feels, smells & sounds very real, but it aint.
If one can never apply this into his mind when he cheong, he'll always be a victim of this web.
Many WLs love men like that, cos they're the easiest prey....just touch your heart & let the humanity side of the victim flow baby...........
And i'm the opposite, WLs always stay away from me.......not bcos i got no $$$$$, cos they can see this one 抓不住的而会玩死自己.
That's Y, i have very little headaches when it comes to this.

I totally agree with you bro that your friend should stop cheonging the night scene. He's either (1) cannot separate fact from fiction or (2) too damn stupid and soft-hearted. Definitely not a player at all.

While I doubt few people can match your level in terms of being a player, notwithstanding that, your friend is at a level far below yours, probably at the bottom end of the league of players.

Oh well, some were born lions and tigers while others were born as cattle and livestock. We just need to know our respective positions in life.

Same goes for TS, once you know where you stand, your strengths and weaknesses, and try not to be what you aren't, life becomes more bearable.

aczeta76

09-02-2009, 12:10 PM

I totally agree with you bro that your friend should stop cheonging the night scene. He's either (1) cannot separate fact from fiction or (2) too damn stupid and soft-hearted. Definitely not a player at all.

While I doubt few people can match your level in terms of being a player, notwithstanding that, your friend is at a level far below yours, probably at the bottom end of the league of players.

Oh well, some were born lions and tigers while others were born as cattle and livestock. We just need to know our respective positions in life.

Same goes for TS, once you know where you stand, your strengths and weaknesses, and try not to be what you aren't, life becomes more bearable.

True enuff...

A year to wind down perhaps. My cheong persona is different from my professional persona as I have enuff of mind-games and politics with my associates.

One thing for sure... life will go on whichever way I choose...

DO_YOU_BJ

09-02-2009, 01:07 PM

Bro Slider, you're right, i guess his softness will be his downfall to being prey.
So maybe its a blessing in disguise ya.

Bro Aczeta, you're statement is totally right, your life will definately go on whichever way you choose it to be.

slider_72

09-02-2009, 06:37 PM

Bro Slider, you're right, i guess his softness will be his downfall to being prey.
So maybe its a blessing in disguise ya.

Yep. Me thinks it is a blessing in disguise too. Otherwise will 死的很惨。

HCKing

09-02-2009, 07:04 PM

GreenHorny

09-02-2009, 07:52 PM

Yeah, there r times when we r tired of cheonging, but cheonging is a journey, not a destination, chances r slim you would find true love while cheonging and settle down ever after.
Lets go back to the basic of cheonging. I would say guys need sex, much more den our female counterpart, so if the normal process of falling in love cannot match the speed of overflowing of our hormones, we resort to cheonging to release the strain on our little head. so when r we tired of cheonging? that is when our normal fall in love process can catch up with our body needs, or when we stop producing hormones, or we can hypnotise ourselves so well, that our hands gripped tight, looks n feels like a pussy.
Most of us, human beings ,are fascinated by love tales, so everytime we cheong, we are actually after a feeling of being in a fictional love story. Some prefer to flip to the last few pages, where the male lead f the female lead. while some of us wanted to enjoy kc with the gal, a shortened version of courtship, which resulted in the same end results: Sex.
So i always treat my each relationship with working gals as individual love story. In this fictional world, you could indulge, love n ejaculate. You could put in ur most passionate feeling n love her. But, But when the story ends, no regrets, no looking back , close the book, and buy a new one.
im not sure when my cheonging era will ends. infact i dun think if will, it will just manifest n evolve into another form of cheonging...hmmm...

GreenHorny

09-02-2009, 08:00 PM

I totally agree with you bro that your friend should stop cheonging the night scene. He's either (1) cannot separate fact from fiction or (2) too damn stupid and soft-hearted. Definitely not a player at all.

While I doubt few people can match your level in terms of being a player, notwithstanding that, your friend is at a level far below yours, probably at the bottom end of the league of players.

Oh well, some were born lions and tigers while others were born as cattle and livestock. We just need to know our respective positions in life.

Same goes for TS, once you know where you stand, your strengths and weaknesses, and try not to be what you aren't, life becomes more bearable.

Agree that the frend is definitely not a player on that level yet. the gal is a level 99 with special combos abilities. haha...
but like all things, level can train, f more WLs, play more KC game. in time to come, you will be a shifu stage liaoz...

HCKing

09-02-2009, 09:43 PM

Agree that the frend is definitely not a player on that level yet. the gal is a level 99 with special combos abilities. haha...
but like all things, level can train, f more WLs, play more KC game. in time to come, you will be a shifu stage liaoz...

depends bro, some ppl, despite having years of experience, will still fallen prey when they happen to find their ideal dream WL.

DO_YOU_BJ

09-02-2009, 09:56 PM

hahaha well said like the legendary Kiko!!!!

HCKing

09-02-2009, 10:24 PM

hahaha well said like the legendary Kiko!!!!

speaking of the legend, he is nw teaching fellow chiongsters nt to run tips in the HC/KTV thread, pot calling the kettle black, simi lan jiao.:mad:

think he is really inspired to be a shifu in KTV, but it may take a million revolutions 4 him to make it, by then who knws, he may still nt.:p

DO_YOU_BJ

09-02-2009, 11:25 PM

Once a low life no integrity person, always a low life......
Leave him be bro...this world is made up of all things, humans, animals and not forgetting, insects!

yongzhen

10-02-2009, 06:42 AM

Once a low life no integrity person, always a low life......
Leave him be bro...this world is made up of all things, humans, animals and not forgetting, insects!

Bro, u forgot germs and virus which we can't see.
How come bcome suan-ing session liao?
Sometime its no point to suan cos they won't see the light either.
Might as well save the energy to see chio mei mei.
Better for health.

aczeta76

10-02-2009, 09:05 AM

Waah... this kiko fella muz realli have irked you guys.

Anyway, did some house-cleaning in my heart...Moving on... cheonging will continue but only with ...

DO_YOU_BJ

10-02-2009, 12:42 PM

Well dun my brudder.......
CHEONG CHEONG CHEONG!

repsolman

10-02-2009, 02:46 PM

Bro aczeta, kinda know how you feel, but only you know the answer at the end of the day.
Looks like your zh gf left a deep impression, anyone we know? You dun have to answer that.

By the way are you still in touch with WL? Really miss her... She coming back, or which part of china is she now? Can go look for her or not? :)

aczeta76

10-02-2009, 03:09 PM

Wu li is MIA loh... given up on her liao.. if she meant to keep in touch, she would have like how I have kept in touch with LW and YKK...

yongzhen

10-02-2009, 11:50 PM

Wu li is MIA loh... given up on her liao.. if she meant to keep in touch, she would have like how I have kept in touch with LW and YKK...

So bro, is YKK coming back?
Me already half retired liao.
Really abit sian abt chionging.

Wooden_Handle

11-02-2009, 12:23 AM

repsolman

11-02-2009, 01:34 AM

Wu li is MIA loh... given up on her liao.. if she meant to keep in touch, she would have like how I have kept in touch with LW and YKK...

Pity... WL was a great find. Full of character IMHO. Love her voice and cool nature, and good looks too. Heard her talking once over the phone with a chinese guy - like bf gf kinda talk. Guess went home to him maybe. Oh well... Focus on others then ;)

aczeta76

11-02-2009, 09:28 AM

So bro, is YKK coming back?
Me already half retired liao.
Really abit sian abt chionging.

Maybe soon... keep u guys posted..

Where is M4 huh?

colins

11-02-2009, 10:54 AM

So bros, put up your battle gear, go and impress some really nice ladies around you, where their thoughts are real, their needs are real, their concern are real, their care are real and their moaning are also real.

Sorry bro...even at normal ladies level, these requirements can also be quite high! hahaha ;)

aczeta76

11-02-2009, 11:07 AM

Tired of chionging...

Bored of usual monologue by FLs..

Sick of those empty promises by the WLs that never happen...

Sit back and relax, see around you bros there are lots of trees out there.

There are alot of happening meeting gals besides paid transaction.

So bros, put up your battle gear, go and impress some really nice ladies around you, where their thoughts are real, their needs are real, their concern are real, their care are real and their moaning are also real.

True enuff...still do hang out with my friends at the gym and have chill out session with them over the weekend if I am not working.. but over there, expectation varies lah...

Need to upkeep image and also be concern of scandals..

Back to WL, some of them are really moaning... if u click well with them

yongzhen

11-02-2009, 10:54 PM

Maybe soon... keep u guys posted..

Where is M4 huh?

Bro, wat M4 u talking abt?
Don't remember writing that.

DesSia

14-02-2009, 04:51 AM

Life is not about F*cking and Sex!

The world is so big! Travel more to see the other side of the world before your times is up. Or else you will die a frog in the well or worst still die a toad in the cunt.

What do you get for cheonging? Spend more? Do the woman you gave tips still remember you?

aczeta76

17-02-2009, 02:44 PM

love and sex r 2 different things altogether. u can love a person with or without having sex with her...and even without being together at all...just the thought of her or hearing the voice of her will make u feel satisfied. u can also have sex with someone u have little love or no love at all...for the purpose of satisfying the lust for pussy. the good feel towards the other party after having sex shouldnt be misinterpreted as love...its just the by product of the satisfying sexual activity with the person. which in another word...u enjoy the sex and is hoping to do it with her again. :p

Posting this from the "Love from sex" thread as this struck a discordant cord within me today.

Many bros have told me that I am not a player and I agree... Now, it is not that I dun see FLs as workers and meat.

Sometimes I do and I Go for the lust factor... RTF a few times and leave..

This time, I made a decision... I will let the other party decide if she wants to see me...'coz I feel that imposing on someone seems juz so NOT me.

People will come and go and bros are right when they say that the other party may not even remember you in the future...

But is that impt, NO

To me now, I am contented to know that she is in good hands and I can still do my little part to contribute to her goals (Little because I am a rational person and I never give more because it creates complications)

My loss..? Hardly, since it would be what I would spend on others anyway so if anything, then it would be being less sexually active loh.

If my presence does not make a difference to the person, then my absence will not either and if so, why should I be concerned over it... For sometimes, if your presence will not help, then a better gift to the person may be not to be there at all..

I will still need to sort out my thoughts but one thing for sure... reducing cheonging will be the way forward..:rolleyes:

DO_YOU_BJ

17-02-2009, 03:15 PM

aczeta76

17-02-2009, 03:25 PM

Bro Aczeta, yes you are absolutely right.
From wat i have read over this period of time, you are not a player.
You thought you were but you're not.
You post above already show internal conflict & lots of denial.
As a friend, i'll tell you, do not reduce, stop completely
All these while you're walking on that fine tight rope, if you dont stop, its a matter of time before you loose control and drop!
You aint a player dude, maybe you shud consider really looking for a soul mate.
Ya... never had the heart to be a player...too soft-hearted I guess... which is why I am stopping... No more new ctcs so cycle should end in one year or two

I juz can't bring myself to see them as juz objects of desire...

Juz sold a old property I was holding for a good price so now looking at maximising my investments... time to beef up my retirement funds...

HairyBottom

17-02-2009, 04:09 PM

Posting this from the "Love from sex" thread as this struck a discordant cord within me today.

Many bros have told me that I am not a player and I agree... Now, it is not that I dun see FLs as workers and meat.

Sometimes I do and I Go for the lust factor... RTF a few times and leave..

This time, I made a decision... I will let the other party decide if she wants to see me...'coz I feel that imposing on someone seems juz so NOT me.

People will come and go and bros are right when they say that the other party may not even remember you in the future...

But is that impt, NO

To me now, I am contented to know that she is in good hands and I can still do my little part to contribute to her goals (Little because I am a rational person and I never give more because it creates complications)

My loss..? Hardly, since it would be what I would spend on others anyway so if anything, then it would be being less sexually active loh.

If my presence does not make a difference to the person, then my absence will not either and if so, why should I be concerned over it... For sometimes, if your presence will not help, then a better gift to the person may be not to be there at all..

I will still need to sort out my thoughts but one thing for sure... reducing cheonging will be the way forward..:rolleyes:

remember your objective when u started out cheonging...which i believe..is the usual 3F...i call it the phase 1 of cheong...just for release and satisfy the lust and desire for pussy. to some...phase 1 is good enough as it fulfill the main objective realisticly well..which is to satisfy the smallhead and keep it happy. however, there r some who will eventually move up to phase 2...satisfying the needs of smallhead isnt enough..must satisfy the needs of the heart as well. this way...the main objective has altered and turned unrealistic as the guy now expects more than just sex from the WL...he also seeks love and acquaintance from her. suddenly...cheonging becomes no longer a joy but a painful affair when the other party fails to return favour..which in the 1st place she isnt obligated to as her main objective is still the same...for the money. u can use money to buy sex...but u cant use money to buy love. there r situations when one move even further up to phase 3 whereby the WL becomes no longer a public property but solely his - marriage. but of cos some can argue that they love the WL deeply etc....but is this really what they wanted in the first place? true love with WL?

so bro...its realistic to cheong and release...as we r all men..but it's unrealistics to expect anything more than that from the WL..yes..there r happy endings though but the probability is comparatively low..play it at your own risk. ;)

Harvest

17-02-2009, 06:01 PM

so bro...its realistic to cheong and release...as we r all men..but it's unrealistics to expect anything more than that from the WL..yes..there r happy endings though but the probability is comparatively low..play it at your own risk. ;)

You hit the nail on the spot, bro. To sum up, itz all about dealing with EXPECTATIONS. Bros in similar situations pls use common sense to make your judgment call. Ask yourself, "What is the realistic expectation that I can get out of a commercial sex?" Hopefully, your answer is not TRUE LOVE. :rolleyes:

aczeta76

17-02-2009, 06:19 PM

You hit the nail on the spot, bro. To sum up, itz all about dealing with EXPECTATIONS. Bros in similar situations pls use common sense to make your judgment call. Ask yourself, "What is the realistic expectation that I can get out of a commercial sex?" Hopefully, your answer is not TRUE LOVE. :rolleyes:
Of course not... True love will not come out of this... too many issues and problems..

Marblecat

18-02-2009, 01:10 PM

I have been following this and other threads recently. Struck quite a chord for me in many areas. Sometimes, it really seems ironical that we deal with such angst at a stage in life where we should really be much more matured and have left all these issues back in our younger playful years.

I went through a hellish period in my marriage over the last 18 months or so. I'm still not sure it will survive; if not for my kids, it might very well have been over by now. Some of it I posted in old threads, and I won't re-hash. Suffice to say I went completely berserk for a period of time. I've spent the last 10 years "cheonging" while entertaining but never really did anything, it was just to provide what my biz clients wanted. During my troubles, I thought "ah, what the fuck", and cheonged for real, and much more than I ever did.

To my shame, I also plunged into multiple affairs and near affairs. I never thought I would ever touch an attached woman nor impact anyone's marriage, but I was just not myself. Something was badly wrong with my life and I did not care what it took to take my mind off it. Heck, I'm likely to write about some of these flings here or in other sections, just to vent. I'm sure some bros will find various details entertaining for various reasons.

Dabbling in the local FL scene is a high risk step as I've also found out. Particularly when you go for the high GFE category when you yourself are emotionally lost. I generally went for the more expensive, local SYT categories, using some of the OKTs in the forum among others. It started out with me booking girls for clients and taking one for myself for appearance sake. Initially, I did not even bonk them, as was my practice. I'll just leave it at that.

Getting emotionally caught up, or KC-ed, call it what you will with one FL girl has really made me stop and think. Irony is that I never even booked her, a client had her and then wined and dined her and invited me out on one occasion. We clicked, and the rest is history. Till today, I still have not bonked her. I dare not. We go for walks, coffees, drive around for hours and chat. I say I dare not because the chemistry is already bad enough as it is. She herself has said we both know it would be so good if we did, and that is why I won't. She will never take money from me for that either, and early on when we started talking asked me never to book her as she could not deal with me and be professional in her services. She told me we could make love any time we wanted, but it would be because we wanted to, not for money.

I've seen her act in front of the many clients who are infatuated with her. Did I mention she used to be one of the hottest properties around? I've seen her fake tears as she cancelled sessions planned in advance just to sit with me in a quiet park or in my car. And she'll look at me and say you've seen me act, but you mean something to me. She needs money but I've never paid for her time except for the very first session where I did pay her just to talk. I've seen her turn down numerous sessions to be with me since, running easily into thousands of dollars "lost", and that is per day.

I've seen her through her break up with her bf and have even met her friends before when we went out. And I know of things her OKT and others do not know, which will probably freak them out. I am trying to get her to quit and not waste her youth and her studies in a tertiary institute. I seem to be making some headway. She's much less "active" than before and looking for a proper part time job while studying.

And yes, I know of how FLs can act so well, and that they are in it just for cash. And I know I should wake up and smell the roses. There's no pressure on me in that as she said, we can be anything we are comfortable with, it's ok to be friends. But where is this going to lead to, other than grief? There can be no good ending, or even beginning. I'm not even sure how to describe what we are in. But it seems that we cannot help but contact each other and continue in this stupid, sorry turn of events.

Only makes sense to snap out of this and work on my floundering marriage eh?

Sorry for the long post, and your patience as I rambled.