Yes we can

[mike1304k]

The title of this topic is to show you that we can. But before this, lets set the mood for it by me telling you a bit about myself. Average Joe, average pay, average looks, below average height and a bit plump. But physical and monetary things aside, I still played like hell during the 90's and early 2000's. I was in Aus in the early 90, so ONS, binge drinking and hedonistic activities were a norm. Waking up in the mid morning with some girl in my bed was not surprising. However, in the end, I would say that I walked away from it promising that I would not play so hard in future.

Then I went to Japan to work and there started another life. Japanese hostesses. This was because we entertained our clients at these joints, where the most beautiful ladies who were all model calibre would sit with you and chat with you. No sex no hanky panky. However, these girls would "fall" for some clients and would spend time with them. Nearly made me a bankrupt the first time round. Gave one of the girls a motor bike costing USD30k, paid for her to sit with me at least 3 times a week for 3 months. Each time was at least 4k USD. (Just sitting hor) and in the end, was faced with so many debts and banks about to start proceedings, I said that I better stop.

Cleaned out my act and came back to Sg. I started to work in BKK for another 1 and a half years. Again got caught in the KTV, WL, FL trap. Since it was so much cheaper than Japan, did not realize how far in I was until one day, I woke up and asked myself what the hell I was doing. I had fallen for one WL after another with the last being a mother of a 5year old boy and I was willing to take care of the both of them. However, when she turned me down, I was devastated and heartbroken. A kindly friend asked me what the hell I was doing? And I had no answer. He did not say anything bad about WL or FL, but he said, love and relationships are things that cannot be forced. But if we use our brains and keep our ego's in control, we can see through things easily. And I thought about it for a long time. Why did I want the last Thai to love me? Was it true love or was it because she gave me the GFE feeling that I wanted? Guess what, it was my ego and emotions at work. When she needed money, she would KC me by asking me for permission to sell off the gold or the handphone I gave her. So I would give her cash. Why? Because I was afraid that she would suffer. But why was I afraid? Because I liked her, but to be truthful, I did not really love her. I just wanted the feeling of GFE to continue.

So it sort of started me thinking about things and from the next few times I went to BKK, I started to be careful and to think a bit more. Girls came and went. I noticed that even if you do not approach a WL, some will try to be especially nice to you and to "love" you. There was one who worked in a massage parlour, came to my hotel every night and did not ask for money. In the end of my trip, she gave me a present and said she loved me.... (awwww how touching)(but she only know me for a few days and we had sex since then, how can she say she love me?) So of course I said I loved her and I would look for her again and I purposely did not. After 3 months, I was behind the massage parlour and she walked past me without even noticing who I was... I thought she loved me??? So as you can see, our emotions can be manipulated and if we allow this to happen, we can become prime targets for KC.

Ever since then, I have become much more wary about WL, FL and other such ladies. Even normal ladies I am also careful. The saying is true mah, nothing is for free and if it looks too good to be true, there is usually something to be wary off. After all, if we allow ourselves to become victims, we have no one to blame other than ourselves. No one put a gun to our heads and ask us to give our time and our money. So if we lose either or, we cannot cry that we were cheated. We gave willingly at that time mah.

Sorry for the really long post, but the moral of the story is that although we are human beings and so are WL and FL, we always have to use our brains. It is difficult. I have been bitten so many times and expect myself to be bitten again. But at least I am now careful and also think before I act and therefore am protecting myself better. And you can do the same too. So like the title says "Yes we can!!" But please hor, I am not advocating to you that you should go out and exploit WL and FL hor. That is another issue altogether hor. We can avoid being KC'd emotionally or financially. Not we can take revenge on them hor.

Peace!

[leecs]

I like your story...

[$110Thai-escort]

Good posting TS :)

[aakumu]

Hi bro,
Very touching story, but I would like to add to your story.
We all cheong is because there is something lacking in our beautiful life, and these are added on side dishes of our life; in saying that; we should cheong with our big head and not with our dick and our heart; looking for love or relationships with these girls, what a bunch of............
When we put all our hopes and trust with the type of girls we are bound to hurt ourselves.
The girls do not have the responsibilities to make sure that we do not blow our wallet.
Cheonging is like any other hobby, know our limit, stick with what you are willing to bare, know when enough is enough, then we should be fine.
We got nobody else to blame but ourselves in the end.

My humble two cents.

[EtherC]

We can have our bar stocked with all sorts of wines but we need not drink up several crate loads at one go and end up hurting ourselves. Some wines are to be held for value, others to be aged for appreciation and naturally the majority is for regular consumption. We live in an almost limitless cellar where we can sample so many varieties. Taste don't gulp. Rinse and spit regularly. Don't end up joining Alcoholic Anonymous.

[DANGER KEEP OUT]

Keep sharing yr story.

[Charmaine]

This is a great thread.

[Charmaine]

I would be the last person to say I'm different and my case deserves special attention, but I would really, really like to believe that true love exists, even within the realms of the shady WL/FL/KTV circuit. We might get burnt more times that not, but at the end of the day it's something personal between 2 adults - one male and one female. Generalisation and stereotypes do not help, but neither does sitting on the fence and forming no conclusion on the dangers that lurk within these scenes as opposed to having a supposedly "normal" relationship with a "normal" lady.

As my Thai girlfriend used to say to me:"Do you mean you can automatically trust anyone who doesn't work in a nightclub? And would you be able to say everyone who works in a KTV cannot be trusted?" The crude, matter-of-fact nature of her questions jolted me awake. That was when I realised I should never have judged her based on what she did or where she came from - the only opinion I'm allowed to realistically form on her was who she is - as a human being. For that alone, I was convinced that I have been the childish one in the relationship all along. It's about the woman you meet - know her well and your characterisation study on her will lend more weight. I would never want people to judge me just based on what I do for a living, so why should I do something to someone I never wish to happen to myself?

I fell in love with my girlfriend not because she gave me GFE, because that's a dangerous yardstick. When I got involved with her, I've had more than one opportunity to hook up with a local, seek out GFE from these sources, and cut my losses and my pain. I disregarded them all, because I just couldn't see in them what I could see in my current girlfriend - an eagerness to learn, a level of maturity beyond anything that I ever could imagine, and most importantly, her willingness to be an equal in the context of power supremacy in the relationship. It was never about the GFE - hell, I've probably had more fights with her in 2 years that I had with any local I've been with before. What GFE? And trying to squeeze out even an ounce of GFE in a long-distance relationship? It doesn't make any sense - she can't even give me a virtual hug when I miss her. But that's really what's fascinating about relationships in general, if you think about it - it's about the bonding of the heart. Ever the one with her head screwed in the right place, she says "I just want you to know that you will always be in my heart and my mind. It doesn't matter where we're at." She's probably the stingiest girl you'll find this side of the planet when it comes to dishing out GFE - she doesn't even say things like "I miss you" liberally, but what do these things matter in the larger context of what's ahead of us?

At the end of the day, it's the girl in question that will determine the sort of conclusions you draw out from such experiences. Some say it's easy to hook up in dance clubs, others say it's not. The one who insist the former probably met a loose slut while the latter just lucked out with the sort of girls he has decided to approach. The thread starter has dealt with hordes of different girls that work the scene over the course of his more carefree days, but every single girl is different and his destiny with each ultimately depends on the type of female he has had the fortune, or misfortune, to meet.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Charmaine, i felt compelled to reply to your post but i'm trying very hard not to post anything offensive to it, so if you feel offended in anyway, i wud like to apologise 1st cos it wasnt the intention at all

I would be the last person to say I'm different and my case deserves special attention, but I would really, really like to believe that true love exists, even within the realms of the shady WL/FL/KTV circuit. We might get burnt more times that not, but at the end of the day it's something personal between 2 adults - one male and one female. Generalisation and stereotypes do not help, but neither does sitting on the fence and forming no conclusion on the dangers that lurk within these scenes as opposed to having a supposedly "normal" relationship with a "normal" lady.
Generalisations DO HELP. It let you build another layer of defense to a world that's infested wif cheats and con artists that will pry on the weak minded, thus it is always a good practice to be more careful, especially when swimming with the sharks.

As my Thai girlfriend used to say to me:"Do you mean you can automatically trust anyone who doesn't work in a nightclub? And would you be able to say everyone who works in a KTV cannot be trusted?"
She said something very correct and true......but maybe you can ask her, in 1,000,000 WLs, how many can be trusted on the surface and how many can be trusted with your heart and how many can be trusted wif your life?
Yes, swimming with the sharks can get you bitten or killed, her question to you is to point out which one will not bite or kill you??????
Which one is easier, to point out which one will bite or which one wouldnt????
The answer is very clear isnt it????
I am not saying she's a liar but someone who can say this, in my book, or generalisation as you call it, is a HIGH HAND

The crude, matter-of-fact nature of her questions jolted me awake. That was when I realised I should never have judged her based on what she did or where she came from - the only opinion I'm allowed to realistically form on her was who she is - as a human being. For that alone, I was convinced that I have been the childish one in the relationship all along.
No you were not, never were u. You were just like and plain joe who wanted to protect himself.......once bitten twice shy......totally can understand what you did & would still encourage you to do it.

It's about the woman you meet - know her well and your characterisation study on her will lend more weight. I would never want people to judge me just based on what I do for a living, so why should I do something to someone I never wish to happen to myself?
Who would? No one!
But who isnt judged everyday every minute of the day regardless or race language or religion?????
No one!
No one is spared...even presidents like Obama isnt spared this or our ministers etc etc..this is the real world my friend

I fell in love with my girlfriend not because she gave me GFE, because that's a dangerous yardstick. When I got involved with her, I've had more than one opportunity to hook up with a local, seek out GFE from these sources, and cut my losses and my pain. I disregarded them all, because I just couldn't see in them what I could see in my current girlfriend - an eagerness to learn, a level of maturity beyond anything that I ever could imagine, and most importantly, her willingness to be an equal in the context of power supremacy in the relationship. It was never about the GFE - hell, I've probably had more fights with her in 2 years that I had with any local I've been with before. What GFE? And trying to squeeze out even an ounce of GFE in a long-distance relationship? It doesn't make any sense - she can't even give me a virtual hug when I miss her.
In terms of knowledge from the book, SG Gals reign supreme over many other gals in our region
In terms of knowledge or street smart, gals from many other region reign supreme over our gals
In terms of maturity, our gals are a childish bunch and need longer to really get matured
Society plays a very big part in this.
Look at our guys........need i say more for someone who's so well traveled....are our guys very matured as compared to other blokes in our region...answer is a flat NO!

But that's really what's fascinating about relationships in general, if you think about it - it's about the bonding of the heart. Ever the one with her head screwed in the right place, she says "I just want you to know that you will always be in my heart and my mind. It doesn't matter where we're at." She's probably the stingiest girl you'll find this side of the planet when it comes to dishing out GFE - she doesn't even say things like "I miss you" liberally, but what do these things matter in the larger context of what's ahead of us?
This is something very scary to me.
Let me tell you something i encountered before in just a sentence.......
我的心永远是你的，可是我的人不是
Translate for the bros who dun read chinese
My heart is yours always, but my body is not

At the end of the day, it's the girl in question that will determine the sort of conclusions you draw out from such experiences. Some say it's easy to hook up in dance clubs, others say it's not. The one who insist the former probably met a loose slut while the latter just lucked out with the sort of girls he has decided to approach. The thread starter has dealt with hordes of different girls that work the scene over the course of his more carefree days, but every single girl is different and his destiny with each ultimately depends on the type of female he has had the fortune, or misfortune, to meet.
Your story is still on going, so i strongly feel you shouldnt be so sure about your conclusion and preach that yours is a success story.
Maybe only when you're married and have kids wif her...ahhh.....then i can salute you but till then, i am sorry, i am happy for you but i wud still advise you to be very awake cos from your profile of her, yeah, she sure is very matured and sure knows how to use words and snook you into self reflection...my kinda of game!
How many WLs we meet, not FLs, arent whores that you can sleep with with some money invested?
How many are not and cant?
We all know the ratio here.
Yes like i've said umpteen times, there are but it like a needle in a haystack....
You found one? Maybe. And maybe you're lucky
So that haystack no more needles liao, which means that haystack only left with filth and sleeze.....get it?

So, is she still working?
Is she still here?
Is she still a WL?
Are you financially feeding her & if so how much?
How old is she?
Is she divorced and have any kids?
How long have you 2 been together?

So far, besides myself, only bro 2 bros have my salutations
1 is bro cassanova and the other is ekemono i think, who just married his viet wife not too long ago...........

Now minus the 3 of us.....how many ended up on the otherside of the coin?
Heart broken, cheated you know the rest.
So, generalisation, is good.........do practice it and treat all as GUILTY until proven without a benefit of a doubt that they're innocent...then proceed to treat them like human...else...all are still ghosts!

Do i have a hatred for them?
Hell no, i luv em
I still have flings wif them like my newest singer addition from 黑龙江
Do i trust them...ya surface surface only
Do i feel for them??? This one dunno yet but got GFE
Do i wanna look deeper to see if she's human or just a ghost?
Not interested, i'm here for the meat moreover, house no rooms liao lol

[Charmaine]

That's a wonderful post, DO_YOU_BJ, and something that I've been looking forward to reading for some time. I do need these constant reminders all the time from fellow forummers who has been through it all, suffered all the hardship that came along with falling in love with supposedly the "wrong" girl and lived to tell the tale. I'm in no way preaching for others to read "my success story"; as a matter of fact I live with the fear every day that I will end up with nothing but a broken heart, even if the gentler side of me always urges me to give trust and respect. It's a daily emotional battle that I've had to live with, and my relationship is in no way stable. I guess all I was trying to say in my previous comment is that we should judge every girl based on her as a person and only that alone; what she does (or did) for a living, which country she was born in, or what parents she was born to, should never be mitigating factors towards forming arbituary conclusions about her character. I judge a person from within, not from the things that surrounded her.

The approach of treating everything is "guilty until proven innocent" is a valid one, but which is something I would use sparingly depending on the subject under scrutiny. As I've mentioned many times before, it all depends on the kind of girl you've had the fortune, or misfortune, to meet. My opinion is that you are at risk of losing a perfectly sweet, sincere girl determined to love you with all her might just because you chose to play devil and become too overly cynical. I've made my girlfriend angry countless times precisely because I've been too eager, too willing, to pick on the small little niggets that might otherwise be shrugged aside without as much as a whimper, precisely because her history kept playing in my head. Whenever I called her and she didn't pick up, visions of her fucking a Thai gik, or frolicking in bed with a random farang, started to play in my mind and it drove me insane. Countless articles I read on the internet documenting Thai women cheating on their boyfriends while they were unaware immediate flooded my mind - I would never have imagined to that kind of detail if she never did what she did. But she would almost always call me back to assure me everything was ok, her girl friends passing her phone around to say hello and all. Sometimes I lose my top, sometimes I don't. I've always come to regret the times I did. "You just need to relax." She would always tell me. "Don't be so stressed. Everything is going good. Boyfriends and girlfriends have arguments all the time - it's ok. We just need to learn from it."

To answer your question, she no longer does what she does and is now ploghing a decent day-time job. She has never asked me for money and I've always been the one suggesting that I should make her life more comfortable. She visited Singapore, and my parents, and is due back again soon. We promised we would take turns.

I wouldn't consider myself lucky or unlucky, because like what you've so accurately stated, nothing is for certain. We're not married and we're not even close. But I would still stand by my beliefes that your experiences stem only from the females you meet. Generalisations to the tune of "Most Thai girls cheat" or "Most Singapore men have small dicks" do help, but only to offer a broad-based perspective for individuals who are too impatient (or lazy) to really find out about every single person they meet for themselves. Even if my current relationship ends in tatters (which is a real possibility), my beliefs will not change. But hey, everyone's different. Maybe I'm just a weirdo for thinking what I think. :)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Respect your stand in perception.
That's Y i love this world...
Since we're here, the WL/FL world.
Many cheat SG men...after a while they'll meet their match....
Then after i devour them, I'll proclaim "YES WE CAN!!!" like i always do hehehehe
Cheers bro

Good thread good thread

[STUPIDUGLYIDIOT]

Bro Charmaine you have my utmost respect.....

[CeiResident]

Charmaine, i felt compelled to reply to your post but i'm trying very hard not to post anything offensive to it, so if you feel offended in anyway, i wud like to apologise 1st cos it wasnt the intention at all

I would be the last person to say I'm different and my case deserves special attention, but I would really, really like to believe that true love exists, even within the realms of the shady WL/FL/KTV circuit. We might get burnt more times that not, but at the end of the day it's something personal between 2 adults - one male and one female. Generalisation and stereotypes do not help, but neither does sitting on the fence and forming no conclusion on the dangers that lurk within these scenes as opposed to having a supposedly "normal" relationship with a "normal" lady.
Generalisations DO HELP. It let you build another layer of defense to a world that's infested wif cheats and con artists that will pry on the weak minded, thus it is always a good practice to be more careful, especially when swimming with the sharks.

As my Thai girlfriend used to say to me:"Do you mean you can automatically trust anyone who doesn't work in a nightclub? And would you be able to say everyone who works in a KTV cannot be trusted?"
She said something very correct and true......but maybe you can ask her, in 1,000,000 WLs, how many can be trusted on the surface and how many can be trusted with your heart and how many can be trusted wif your life?
Yes, swimming with the sharks can get you bitten or killed, her question to you is to point out which one will not bite or kill you??????
Which one is easier, to point out which one will bite or which one wouldnt????
The answer is very clear isnt it????
I am not saying she's a liar but someone who can say this, in my book, or generalisation as you call it, is a HIGH HAND

The crude, matter-of-fact nature of her questions jolted me awake. That was when I realised I should never have judged her based on what she did or where she came from - the only opinion I'm allowed to realistically form on her was who she is - as a human being. For that alone, I was convinced that I have been the childish one in the relationship all along.
No you were not, never were u. You were just like and plain joe who wanted to protect himself.......once bitten twice shy......totally can understand what you did & would still encourage you to do it.

It's about the woman you meet - know her well and your characterisation study on her will lend more weight. I would never want people to judge me just based on what I do for a living, so why should I do something to someone I never wish to happen to myself?
Who would? No one!
But who isnt judged everyday every minute of the day regardless or race language or religion?????
No one!
No one is spared...even presidents like Obama isnt spared this or our ministers etc etc..this is the real world my friend

I fell in love with my girlfriend not because she gave me GFE, because that's a dangerous yardstick. When I got involved with her, I've had more than one opportunity to hook up with a local, seek out GFE from these sources, and cut my losses and my pain. I disregarded them all, because I just couldn't see in them what I could see in my current girlfriend - an eagerness to learn, a level of maturity beyond anything that I ever could imagine, and most importantly, her willingness to be an equal in the context of power supremacy in the relationship. It was never about the GFE - hell, I've probably had more fights with her in 2 years that I had with any local I've been with before. What GFE? And trying to squeeze out even an ounce of GFE in a long-distance relationship? It doesn't make any sense - she can't even give me a virtual hug when I miss her.
In terms of knowledge from the book, SG Gals reign supreme over many other gals in our region
In terms of knowledge or street smart, gals from many other region reign supreme over our gals
In terms of maturity, our gals are a childish bunch and need longer to really get matured
Society plays a very big part in this.
Look at our guys........need i say more for someone who's so well traveled....are our guys very matured as compared to other blokes in our region...answer is a flat NO!

But that's really what's fascinating about relationships in general, if you think about it - it's about the bonding of the heart. Ever the one with her head screwed in the right place, she says "I just want you to know that you will always be in my heart and my mind. It doesn't matter where we're at." She's probably the stingiest girl you'll find this side of the planet when it comes to dishing out GFE - she doesn't even say things like "I miss you" liberally, but what do these things matter in the larger context of what's ahead of us?
This is something very scary to me.
Let me tell you something i encountered before in just a sentence.......
我的心永远是你的，可是我的人不是
Translate for the bros who dun read chinese
My heart is yours always, but my body is not

At the end of the day, it's the girl in question that will determine the sort of conclusions you draw out from such experiences. Some say it's easy to hook up in dance clubs, others say it's not. The one who insist the former probably met a loose slut while the latter just lucked out with the sort of girls he has decided to approach. The thread starter has dealt with hordes of different girls that work the scene over the course of his more carefree days, but every single girl is different and his destiny with each ultimately depends on the type of female he has had the fortune, or misfortune, to meet.
Your story is still on going, so i strongly feel you shouldnt be so sure about your conclusion and preach that yours is a success story.
Maybe only when you're married and have kids wif her...ahhh.....then i can salute you but till then, i am sorry, i am happy for you but i wud still advise you to be very awake cos from your profile of her, yeah, she sure is very matured and sure knows how to use words and snook you into self reflection...my kinda of game!
How many WLs we meet, not FLs, arent whores that you can sleep with with some money invested?
How many are not and cant?
We all know the ratio here.
Yes like i've said umpteen times, there are but it like a needle in a haystack....
You found one? Maybe. And maybe you're lucky
So that haystack no more needles liao, which means that haystack only left with filth and sleeze.....get it?

So, is she still working?
Is she still here?
Is she still a WL?
Are you financially feeding her & if so how much?
How old is she?
Is she divorced and have any kids?
How long have you 2 been together?

So far, besides myself, only bro 2 bros have my salutations
1 is bro cassanova and the other is ekemono i think, who just married his viet wife not too long ago...........

Now minus the 3 of us.....how many ended up on the otherside of the coin?
Heart broken, cheated you know the rest.
So, generalisation, is good.........do practice it and treat all as GUILTY until proven without a benefit of a doubt that they're innocent...then proceed to treat them like human...else...all are still ghosts!

Do i have a hatred for them?
Hell no, i luv em
I still have flings wif them like my newest singer addition from 黑龙江
Do i trust them...ya surface surface only
Do i feel for them??? This one dunno yet but got GFE
Do i wanna look deeper to see if she's human or just a ghost?
Not interested, i'm here for the meat moreover, house no rooms liao lol


Nice post bro... Its time to cheer bro charmaine and give him a lift...

[mike1304k]

Waaahh... old thread revisited... Thanks for all the comments man guys.

I guess after reading all the other threads and so on, there is no real way to try to KC WL and FL without standing the chance of getting KC'd yourself. But we can make something out of nothing and also to make the best out of a situation.

In the beginning, because we are slightly more rich than our neighbours, we feel like we are knights in shining armour when we meet a "lost" soul who we feel deserves our pity and help. While helping them, our horny green devil comes out and we start to bonk. Maybe the bonk started it all.. I don know... but in the end, emotions start to arise. If we do not control these emotions, it becomes sticky as more money is poured in. You are losing in investing of time and money and all sorts of things. But then if we take a step back and just see the truth of it all, then perhaps we can find a way out.

A lot of guys say to the girl, "if you love me, you will take my money"... so even if she does not love you but loves your money, she will still take it and you feel like she loves you.

Right now, I am also supporting a local mina... Drives me crazy sometimes to see how she parties and so on. There is no sexual intent and we just enjoy each other's company. But right from the start, I already decided that I do not want anything from it, even her heart and as long as she is happy and is able to go straight (she is not WL or FL) and straighten her life, I am happy. Now she is trying to get a job, not partying so much, and is trying to be a better person and it makes me proud and happy. Money?? Aiya wats is money when you are truly saving someone? Sex? We can get it any where any time... Emotions? I am married and happily so... so who needs that?

Good luck guys... and do remember, there are good gals out there. Both in the normal world and the vice world.

[leecs]

Right now, I am also supporting a local mina... Drives me crazy sometimes to see how she parties and so on. There is no sexual intent and we just enjoy each other's company. But right from the start, I already decided that I do not want anything from it, even her heart and as long as she is happy and is able to go straight (she is not WL or FL) and straighten her life, I am happy. Now she is trying to get a job, not partying so much, and is trying to be a better person and it makes me proud and happy. Money?? Aiya wats is money when you are truly saving someone? Sex? We can get it any where any time... Emotions? I am married and happily so... so who needs that?

Good luck guys... and do remember, there are good gals out there. Both in the normal world and the vice world.

Can't agree more!!! :p

[xyman]

i have been bonking a wl and she did not ask for money. everytime i want to give her tips when she accompany me, she will say no. She say I am the only guy that she love and the other guys are her customer. every night reach home and message me that she reach home and miss me.

she say she reach home, but when i call her, she will be outside. i will be very upset. i told her that i have wife and got children, she say she don't mind as long as we are happy.

I don know if i can trust her. what does she want from me?

[mike1304k]

i have been bonking a wl and she did not ask for money. everytime i want to give her tips when she accompany me, she will say no. She say I am the only guy that she love and the other guys are her customer. every night reach home and message me that she reach home and miss me.

she say she reach home, but when i call her, she will be outside. i will be very upset. i told her that i have wife and got children, she say she don't mind as long as we are happy.

I don know if i can trust her. what does she want from me?


I am sure that no one in this forum will say that true love does not happen between a WL or FL and customer. But this is very very few. They have their rules of engagement and so do we.

Now if you are married and if you do not have any intention on endangering that, then you better (I mean this with a pure heart hor) stay away from having any relationships outside that are too clingy or too emotionally committing. Just F and forget. That is the rule. It may feel nice to have someone who likes you, who gives you the GFE when your wife does not do it anymore, but if you find that you are going back too often, getting jealous if the girl is out or something like that, then you are already starting to get in too deep. Maybe she wants nothing from you, but what happens if she does?

For me, as I mentioned, I am supporting someone with all my intentions clearly stated from the beginning. If she doesn't come round, it is no loss to me. I can walk away and say bye bye and it will be her loss. If that is the case, I am more or less protected. I did nothing and am doing nothing more than a kiss or a hug, so even if I am guilty of doing something, it is not such a big sin. And I am also not emotionally attached in a deep way. She can go out with her guy friends and I do not care. She will always tell me and I told her I do not care too. So bro, take control and control any potential damage. Especially if you are already married and have kids and do not wish to endanger that.

[xyman]

She told me that she came here to work and earn money. Previously when I first met her, she will accept my tips, after a while I ask her to be my gf. After that she never accept or ask any money. Got one time is I hide the tips in her hp pouch.

She told me she came here to work because her mother is ill, I ask more details and she ask me not to ask anymore. Since then, she never mention it again to me.

She is a very nice lady and do not ask a lot or never even ask for things. She feed me at the coffeeshop without me dirtying my hands. My marriage is having some problems. If I have no problems, I will not be going out drinking and met her. I like her but I do not completely trust her yet.

If I want to be with her, I will need to forgo a lot of things

[cablesnwires]

She told me that she came here to work and earn money. Previously when I first met her, she will accept my tips, after a while I ask her to be my gf. After that she never accept or ask any money. Got one time is I hide the tips in her hp pouch.

She told me she came here to work because her mother is ill, I ask more details and she ask me not to ask anymore. Since then, she never mention it again to me.

She is a very nice lady and do not ask a lot or never even ask for things. She feed me at the coffeeshop without me dirtying my hands. My marriage is having some problems. If I have no problems, I will not be going out drinking and met her. I like her but I do not completely trust her yet.

If I want to be with her, I will need to forgo a lot of things
xyman,

You have children, and they are the innocent ones. Can you bear to see them suffer?

[xyman]

I know. But my wife is very close to another guy. This make me very depress, I am very down until I met her. I know this is wrong, I work hard for my family and plan for our future, but our marriage still turn out like that.

I can say that I am not a womanizer or like all those things, I was a family man who work hard to make my family better. Things turn out bad and I feel really depress. If my wife never met that guy, things will not turn out like that.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

One of the most NO NO thing we men, especially married can & will do: ESCAPISM!!!!!
When we have probs at home, something appears to fill the missing gap in our lives and we embrace it.
But we forgot, we are ignoring another part of our lives.
If this new fling is gonna materialise, and one day have probs...wat are you gonna do???? Suddenly another new sweet woman comes along...then jump ship again?
My friend, solve your probs at home 1st.......
She is just feeding you wif something you've been missing........
If really no choice, each have to go their own ways..then no choice.....
Sometimes we can talk, but sometimes, lots of patience and preserverance is needed in a marriage for it to meet its equilibrium.
From a WLs standpoint, nows the best time to go for the kill.........cos you're so empty and seeking to be complete...be very careful........................

[Wooden_Handle]

HeY, I can concurred that bro, the ladies will be surprisingly extra nice to you, with regular calls or sms once they knew or heard about problems at home.

To me they will never be able to fill the vacuum, so can ignore them.

One of the most NO NO thing we men, especially married can & will do: ESCAPISM!!!!!

From a WLs standpoint, nows the best time to go for the kill.........cos you're so empty and seeking to be complete...be very careful........................

[xyman]

thanks to all the brudders for the advice, she has been hinting to me that a few times that her main purpise here is to work and earn money. Maybe never realize cos my mind is too confuse..

[cablesnwires]

Always bear this in mind:

"Your reason for your divorce (if it happened) can never, will never and must never be because of another woman!"

All the best bro xyman, and really hope you can resolve your problems soon. Good luck.

[Panamera]

thanks to all the brudders for the advice, she has been hinting to me that a few times that her main purpise here is to work and earn money. Maybe never realize cos my mind is too confuse..

Bro Xyman, her objectives are to maximize her returns in shortest possible time, at the same time decreasing her operating expenses. She's probably taking advantage of your emptiness, hurt and emotional upset. :(

Never lose sight of what is important and since now you've been sidetracked, which is a common thing to do, now is the time to take stock, sort out your marriage problems and get back on the right track. You make time for everything else in your life so don't become complacent with what matters most, your partner and your marriage.

YES!! YOU CAN overcome this! Good luck! :)

[mike1304k]

I know. But my wife is very close to another guy. This make me very depress, I am very down until I met her. I know this is wrong, I work hard for my family and plan for our future, but our marriage still turn out like that.

I can say that I am not a womanizer or like all those things, I was a family man who work hard to make my family better. Things turn out bad and I feel really depress. If my wife never met that guy, things will not turn out like that.

Bro TS,

Like Bro DYBJ says, do not find reasons to escape.

I always tell me frens to always take the moral high road. 2 wrongs do not make a right. So even if your woman sees another man, perhaps you should ask yourself what he has that you do not have. Of course it will be easy to say he is richer or more handsome or has a bigger dong, but what are the deeper reasons. Woman do not fall in love simply for sex. They do not give their emotions easily, so there must be another reason. So if you go back and have a look, perhaps the fault lies within the family.

[etct88]

[QUOTE=cablesnwires;3832366]Always bear this in mind:

"Your reason for your divorce (if it happened) can never, will never and must never be because of another woman!"QUOTE]

This is one of the best advice posted! Thank you!:):)

[mike1304k]

Hi bros,

As an addition to my life story and to push the point of yes we can, let me now give you another part of my life story til date.

As you know, I have been up and been brought to my knees both financially and also romantically. It taught my one basic fact of life.... or at least a few...

1) There is no such thing as ego. You can have a good job, a lot of money and so on... but it is all momentary and all pretty much meaningless unless you are happy doing what you are doing.
2) You are only ready to love if you love yourself.

So I met my wife many moons ago. She is Japanese. She is the best thing that has happened in my life, but I will not brag. We have been married more than 3 years now, but we have only been together for a total of 9 mths. Reason? She is living in Japan and also because my work takes me overseas very often. (And FYI, even when we are together we do not make love every day)... Is this a complaint? I will say no. Making love is not important when you have someone you love and who loves you back.

Many bros here will say shiok lor, I can have a gal at every port and other FB any time. But I will say that I am not that type of man... It is all a matter of how you think things through. For me, I do not find any pleasure in having a SYT calling me Lau Gong and giving me GFE because I know that there is a cost involved and I am unable to pay that cost.

So how do I stay sane and also virile? I do go to HC and KTVs when the mood hits me. I do go out for a bite when I feel like it, but it is very seldom. Perhaps once or twice a year and that is more than enough for me. I do not equate sex to love any more and I guess at my age, love is more important to me.

At the same time, many will say having a long distance relationship is dificult, but I will say that absence makes the heart grow fonder.. It makes me want to work harder and for time to pass faster so that we can be together again. It helps to create trust too and it is what is most important/ Trust that works both ways I might add. I have to trust her and she has to trust me. So in order for her to trust me, I have to be completely open and also to take a moral high ground. If I do not want her to do something, then I will not do it.

To be continued

[mike1304k]

So if I do not do something, my wife better not do it too. In the beginning, it will be hard... For me and for her... I have my set of frens, some are really cheong buddies and we do go for drinks and so on... But I tell them that I am married and I am ok for drinks but not for going to girlie places.. At first they thought I was a pussy whipped chicken, but when I explained that I wanted to be truthful and they had to accept it, eventually they did. My wife also has her frens, some are guys and she also stopped... So that was the beginning of trust. Just like being a leader, you have to lead by example, it is the same with trust, you have to earn that trust and to also be trustable.

Some guys will say how can I stay focussed on a person who is not here and don't I get horny, I always tell them that it is only a matter of mind. I can have a lot of chicks who look great and fuck great. I can have sex with many or a few, but they will never be the same as my wife. Only she will love me unconditionally, only she will love me for me... That was why she married me in the first place. So now if I have that, would I want to have any others? Would I want to endanger that love? Just like trust, do onto others what you would others do onto you. It is difficult sometimes I admit, but then if you think about it, if you are married, you marry for life and it is a commitment for life. Your wife made a similar commitment and you would not want her to screw around right?

So brothers, I would say that it is all a matter of mind over matter. Many of you will find problems with your heart... but it is all a matter of how you think about it and also how you use your mind. You can do it.

[Takumi_racer]

Some guys will say how can I stay focussed on a person who is not here and don't I get horny, I always tell them that it is only a matter of mind. I can have a lot of chicks who look great and fuck great. I can have sex with many or a few, but they will never be the same as my wife. Only she will love me unconditionally, only she will love me for me... That was why she married me in the first place.

Bro, u gain my respect, i totally agree with what u say.. I'm not married yet btw, but if i'm married to a women that love me unconditionally, i believe i will not look for any commerical sex again.. All man or most man love sex, but for me it is the unconditional love that i'm looking for to fill the emptiness of my heart...

[mike1304k]

Bro Takumi Racer,

I am not sure about you, but to be truthful, it will be damned hard to say that you will not feel an itch sometime and some where. Like I mentioned in other threads, the thought, the need will come once in a while. It is how we handle it and how we are able to walk away from it. Look... marriage is not a vow of celibacy. In theory if you are in love and if you are happy, you will not need any other sources. But us men are wired differently. We are both territorial and yet want to roam. It is only how we control our needs and also how to channel them.

So for me, I do admit that sometimes I do get an itch. And I do go out to get that itch scratched. Maybe it is to feel a bit of GFE at a pub, a quick fuck somewhere and so on. But I will make sure that I walk away from it and never go back. I do not give me number, I do not even have a special cheong number I give to the girls or something like that. I don't even remember the girl's name... Just that it was fun while it lasted and if I get her again the next time I visit the joint, whatever the joint is, I will most probably be like her... not remember me at all.