I Cannot Believe My Eyes

[ptgary]

A*Star scholar commits suicide over PRC girl

A*Star scholar commits suicide over PRC girl : The Singapore Enquirer: An independent online news daily (http://singaporeenquirer.sg/?p=1259)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

So typical of a classic introvert.
Sad for the parents but not sad about the situation.
Look at the pic!
A picture says a million words.....

[mike1304k]

It is sad to see a bright young spark take his own life. In Sg, our pursuit of excellence has caused our young to be very "book smart" but not very "life smart". It is actually a very silly thing to take one's own life for love or because of love. If you are dumped by someone, then it is up to you to prove that he or she has made the wrong decision. Make yourself better, make yourself stronger and then thank him or her for waking you up and making you change for the better. Not kill yourself... who will pity you? And imagine how much grief you will cause your family?

And to kill yourself for a PRC??? Oh my goodness! I am not slamming all PRC's but then they are more "realistic" than we can imagine. They will choose someone who is either better looking or has a better future prospect or has more money... So if this young man lost out to his friend... It is of course painful... but if he had taken the time to sit back and think, it would have been a good chance to better himself. For me, I will personally not invest very much in a PRC because it will be them who have to prove their love for me and not the other way around. If they do not do so, there are many more millions of pretty sweet young PRC around. There are so many of them... so why die over one?

I just came back from a business trip to China and my counterpart was a single, very pretty and well edcuated lady. She even spent 4 years in America studying... And no matter how many times she said she was single... I was not interested. I told her I had a wife and that was it... In the game of love, it is like war... But then if it is like war... the one who gives up soonest or in this case kills himself is declaring that he has lost without even trying... Death does not help anything or make things better. But it sure as hell makes the life of those living and loving you so much worse. For the PRC and his friend, perhaps they will mourn his passing for a while... But I doubt if it will stop them from being together and or make them too miserable for too long...

My condolences to the young chap and family.

[BKnight]

My 1st reaction when I read the news was like: "WTF, over such a plain jane PRC for what? "

A* Star scholar!!! I guessed he cant get over the fact that the gal picked his friend over him. So its like a double blow and an instant reaction to jump.. What happened before he jump, only the 3 of them knew as they were together. I hope he rest in peace and many at times, the remaining couple will not last long as the stress and tension will build-up eventually.

Many people might say that cheonging is bad but I am pretty sure if he cheong and "see the world", he will not jump! Life is too precious especially for a bright guy like him. He deserve better....Its a pity....

[abuja]

How come PRC pussy got so much power ah? That poor man haven't even smell or taste it already killed himself. May his soul rest in peace. But I never hear of Sinkie man killing himself over Sinkie pussy. China durian smell more heavenly is it?

[silverblue]

whatever problem he had, he have all the time in the world to solve it. why jump? :(

[BKnight]

whatever problem he had, he have all the time in the world to solve it. why jump? :(

Suicide is a serious problem among young people in Singapore nowadays. You may be surprised to learn that it is the third leading cause of death for under 25-year-olds. Only accidents and homicide are more common causes of death for this age group. A far greater number of youths attempt suicide each year. Suicide attempts are not easy to count because many may not be treated in a hospital or may not be recorded as self-inflicted injuries. Recent survey data show that an alarming percent of school students had seriously thought about suicide, had made plans to attempt suicide, and had made a suicide attempt.

Suicidal behaviour is different among young women than among young men. Young women attempt suicide three times more often than young men. However, four times more young men than young women actually die from suicide. This may be because females and males tend to use different methods when attempting suicide. Young women often attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves-methods which offer more opportunities for rescue. Young men often use knifes, hanging, or jumping from heights-methods which usually cause instant death and offer no chance to intervene.

The Risk Factors are that most youths who attempt suicide are experiencing a psychological problem such as depression or bipolar disorder, a substance abuse problem, or both. A teen's experiences and history also can increase the chance that he will attempt suicide. For instance, he has a greater risk of attempting suicide if his family has a history of suicide, if he has previously harmed himself or attempted suicide, or if he has run away.

A young person also may attempt suicide in response to an extremely stressful event, loss, or conflict with another person. The A*Star Scholar tend to fall under this category.

[Charmaine]

I only hope people can see it from his emotional perspective and refrain from condemning, rediculing or judging this sorry case based on a narrow-minded viewpoint.

A*Star scholar or not, PRC plain-Jane or not, this was a young man who has never been in a previous relationship long enough to experience the pain, suffering and turmoil that bugs, bothers and hurts every one of us thoughout our own lives. Love is love and it reduces us all. Regardless of nationality, intellect or social standing, everybody is the same in the eyes of love. He fell in love for the first time and had to endure the pain of witnessing the only thing (to him anyway) that mattered most to him in his life being taken away by his best friend - that, no matter how you look at it, has to be hard to take. Does anyone remember how heartbroken they were when they finished their relationship with their first girlfriend? I'm sure all of us do - I for one remember every detail distinctly. Your first love will always remain the sweetest and it stays with you for life. I remember when I lost my first girlfriend, I cried like a girl, talked to my parents everyday about it (yes lame, but I was only 15 then) and entertained the thought of suicide. Yes, it did cross my mind. I'm glad I never went through with it, but I really feel for this guy as his story is not a unique one - the only difference was, he decided to go ahead with it.

Love is a strange thing. I hope he finds peace. Human beings long for love their entire lives, even more so that they do money, because this is the only one thing money can never buy, and many have died or killed in a bid to find it. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Most of the time, though, we're all slaves to this thing called love. As much as I admire the big-balls, ego-maniac talk that many forummers here like to proclaim, the fact will remain that all of us have a beating human heart, and we spend our lives looking for that someone to love and to love us back that same way. In the meantime, we die.

[BKnight]

Love is a strange thing. I hope he finds peace. Human beings long for love their entire lives, even more so that they do money, because this is the only one thing money can never buy, and many have died or killed in a bid to find it. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Most of the time, though, we're all slaves to this thing called love. As much as I admire the big-balls, ego-maniac talk that many forummers here like to proclaim, the fact will remain that all of us have a beating human heart, and we spend our lives looking for that someone to love and to love us back that same way. In the meantime, we die.

Think we should just let him Rest in Peace. But do hope no samsters here will solve their problem with a non return path. A wise man in India once told me: If you are angry or sad because you got no shoes, just think of people with no legs..Be Happy.. Be Happy....

[sexfrenzy]

I dun find the story surprising.. scholastic achievements or intellect have nothing to do with the heart.

A couple of my friends also entertained thoughts of suicide when they were betrayed by their spouses. It is the sort of reflex emotion that comes into your mind.. the trick is to seek help from friends and relatives who will help to smoothen the pain.

[silverblue]

Suicide is a serious problem among young people in Singapore nowadays. You may be surprised to learn that it is the third leading cause of death for under 25-year-olds. Only accidents and homicide are more common causes of death for this age group. A far greater number of youths attempt suicide each year. Suicide attempts are not easy to count because many may not be treated in a hospital or may not be recorded as self-inflicted injuries. Recent survey data show that an alarming percent of school students had seriously thought about suicide, had made plans to attempt suicide, and had made a suicide attempt.

Suicidal behaviour is different among young women than among young men. Young women attempt suicide three times more often than young men. However, four times more young men than young women actually die from suicide. This may be because females and males tend to use different methods when attempting suicide. Young women often attempt suicide by overdosing on drugs or cutting themselves-methods which offer more opportunities for rescue. Young men often use knifes, hanging, or jumping from heights-methods which usually cause instant death and offer no chance to intervene.

The Risk Factors are that most youths who attempt suicide are experiencing a psychological problem such as depression or bipolar disorder, a substance abuse problem, or both. A teen's experiences and history also can increase the chance that he will attempt suicide. For instance, he has a greater risk of attempting suicide if his family has a history of suicide, if he has previously harmed himself or attempted suicide, or if he has run away.

A young person also may attempt suicide in response to an extremely stressful event, loss, or conflict with another person. The A*Star Scholar tend to fall under this category.
luckily i am D*star scholar..always get D in every subject except biology (cause i like the sexual reproduction topic)

[Optimus_Prime]

really dunno what to say..........

this is why our "scholars" need to be street smart and not just book smart. :(

[BKnight]

This is for Living Scholars or Scholars to be......In school,you are a scholar. once you are out of school, you have to learn how to be a "Scorer" in Society and life, bros.....Please remember: Matters Of The Heart are 2 fold..You can be MOTH or BUTTERFLY...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Y jump? Cos no book can teach him the winning formula.....so die lor!
Y pity 1 that does not even treasure his own life?
Not ridicule, just my personal stand, like i said, parents i pity, this kinda kid, die also better.....or else will be useless to family n society!

[fee3fow]

Seriously there is a problem with our education system. The kids are getting smarter and smarter in term of academic compare to last time, but don't the school teach them how to handle all this ups and downs in life :confused:. Killing himself over a PRC girl :eek:? There are still so many thing worth living for in life other than love and sex

[IGrew]

We don't have the full story, so I think it is best dont be judgmental. Some of our remarks can be very hurting to his parents. Let's show respect to them. They are already grieving..so we should not make it worst.

[bomarr]

We don't have the full story, so I think it is best dont be judgmental. Some of our remarks can be very hurting to his parents. Let's show respect to them. They are already grieving..so we should not make it worst.

Bro IGrew, dun think there anything wrong in brudders here discussing abt such issues & giving their own remarks... This is open forum where every samsters can have their own opinion or to be precise this is a "sex forum" where ppl share info... As long as the TS start the thread at the appropriate place... There should be no issues... Just a passerby with 一角 rmb worth of comment... :D

[colins]

In order for truthfulness to be viewed, bros have to be judgemental in the respect of standpoint. From what I see, it is how words are put across and so far all the bros say it out quite objectively, addressing trend and characters rather than the poor fellow who is now dead becos he was not taught to control his emotions.

A smart person, to be frank, is also smart in handling emotions. Otherwise the brain is likely to be used for very mechanically work, like studying. The thought process simply cannot handle irrational things like relationships.

From a judgemental view from aku, fellow never suffer defeat in his life, being throw into the pits where all are wanting to win trophies of academic excellence, he emerged victorious many times until all that he achieved became all that he had in his life. For 25 years he was king in his own world of family, friends and schoolmates. Little did he know, or even understand why he could not win a simple girl who may not even be on par with a 'normal sg girl'. A close friend got the girl as well, double whammy effect, he lost his most beloved and his most trusted. This probably flipped him becos these 2 person were probably the only 2 personal friends in his life.

See the situation where he killed himself. There must be a confrontation between the 3, childhood friend told him he got the girl, the girl he liked told him to stay away from now on, he was helpless and knew that from then on, he would be alone. In relationship, there are no compromise, they made up their mind to exclude you, no such thing as give you GFE a bit first, girlfriend means girlfriend to a fellow only. So he had no room for his pleads to be realised, no space of negotiation between him and the girl he liked. I guess in the end he threatened, saying things like if you guys still dun listen to me and give me a chance, I'll prove my sincerity, I'll prove I love you more, I'll prove that with the only thing I have, my life. Having no room given, he did the only thing he could do, he went and prove it.

The defeat is not to his pal, not his girl. The scholar had finally lost to himself. That's the part which is the most unbearable.

[lacoruna69]

With all condolences to the deceased family....a bright young man just gone like that.
The PRC gal so-so in looks only. I can find better ones in ZH/CP. Maybe if he comes inside SBF, he won't be so devastated over losing a gal, PRC somemore.

There are really tonnes of gals out there (look Global!!), why grief over a single one?

[BKnight]

We don't have the full story, so I think it is best dont be judgmental. Some of our remarks can be very hurting to his parents. Let's show respect to them. They are already grieving..so we should not make it worst.

Bro, this thread is to discuss why such a bright young man with high IO but low EQ...We are not condeming him or wat, btw, his parents will not know unless you tell them to come in this forum, this thread is also good for scholars to be or living scholars to wake them up..:D

[BKnight]

Many scholars move into the work-life with only one skill: how to do well in exams. They only know how to follow rules and suffer from the No U-turn syndrome - or NUTS," In such an environment, they would consider it easy to tackle problems if they were given a set of rules and guidelines to work with They are reluctant to try out new ideas but stick to "safe" policies - on autopilot mode.

They all afraid to make mistakes and take risks when business is all about having a broad vision and taking risks. Unfortunately, the new economy is constantly evolving and competing on free-flowing ideas. Being nimble is the only way to survive, but many at times, scholars don't have the ability to respond and adapt to changing situations. They tend to involve themselves in too much detail and are afraid to make mistakes.

An example: One guy, a scholar with an impressive list of paper qualifications, used to hand me reports of at least 10 pages on anything I wanted. In turn, he demanded reports of at least 20 pages from his subordinates. So he had piles of reports on his table and when I asked him if he has time to read all these reports, he replied that he did not.He was so bogged down reading reports that he had no time to deal with the real business. Of course, needless to say, He did not last long.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

A prob that our govt already is trying to address in changing the ways our next generation is being educated.
People in my generation and after all suffer from the "READ DEAD BOOK" syndrome........

[cablesnwires]

This whole incident is going to weigh on the girl and her boyfriend for the rest of their lives. Having seen the suicide taken place right in front of their eyes, I doubt seriously the relationship is going to last long.

May he rest in peace, and hope both the deceased family and the couple find their ways to recovery. :(

[Absolute]

It is sad to see a bright young spark take his own life. In Sg, our pursuit of excellence has caused our young to be very "book smart" but not very "life smart". It is actually a very silly thing to take one's own life for love or because of love. If you are dumped by someone, then it is up to you to prove that he or she has made the wrong decision. Make yourself better, make yourself stronger and then thank him or her for waking you up and making you change for the better. Not kill yourself... who will pity you? And imagine how much grief you will cause your family?

And to kill yourself for a PRC??? Oh my goodness! I am not slamming all PRC's but then they are more "realistic" than we can imagine. They will choose someone who is either better looking or has a better future prospect or has more money... So if this young man lost out to his friend... It is of course painful... but if he had taken the time to sit back and think, it would have been a good chance to better himself. For me, I will personally not invest very much in a PRC because it will be them who have to prove their love for me and not the other way around. If they do not do so, there are many more millions of pretty sweet young PRC around. There are so many of them... so why die over one?

I just came back from a business trip to China and my counterpart was a single, very pretty and well edcuated lady. She even spent 4 years in America studying... And no matter how many times she said she was single... I was not interested. I told her I had a wife and that was it... In the game of love, it is like war... But then if it is like war... the one who gives up soonest or in this case kills himself is declaring that he has lost without even trying... Death does not help anything or make things better. But it sure as hell makes the life of those living and loving you so much worse. For the PRC and his friend, perhaps they will mourn his passing for a while... But I doubt if it will stop them from being together and or make them too miserable for too long...

My condolences to the young chap and family.


Don't be too quick to unleash your "book smart" but not very "life smart" shit!

Just because a well-educated China girl is throwing herself at you and you proudly proclaim to the whole world that you have the "smartness" to reject her doesn't bear any connection to what the whole issue about.

In other words, keep all your bullshits to yourself.

[lacoruna69]

An example: One guy, a scholar with an impressive list of paper qualifications, used to hand me reports of at least 10 pages on anything I wanted. In turn, he demanded reports of at least 20 pages from his subordinates. So he had piles of reports on his table and when I asked him if he has time to read all these reports, he replied that he did not.He was so bogged down reading reports that he had no time to deal with the real business. Of course, needless to say, He did not last long.

No good for the business world, but perfect candidate in the civil sector.....Our gov ADORES these scholars.:p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

答对了
Our Govt loves BOOK SMART n not STREET SMART candidates.........

[mike1304k]

Don't be too quick to unleash your "book smart" but not very "life smart" shit!

Just because a well-educated China girl is throwing herself at you and you proudly proclaim to the whole world that you have the "smartness" to reject her doesn't bear any connection to what the whole issue about.

In other words, keep all your bullshits to yourself.

Bro,

This is a public forum and everyone is free to say what they feel to a certain extent. Perhaps you are a scholar and also very street smart.. Good for you lor. One man's meat is another man's poison, so my b*llsh*t may be a lesson for someone else. So what is your problem? I already said I was not trying to slam all PRC, but I am being careful, I have my right to be careful right? If you feel so strongly about being book smart and street smart, then I am happy for you lor. If you feel that you want to support PRC gals, then also good luck to you lor... Why blast people for saying their views? Not happy, just don't read lor....

[DynamiteZerg]

Take it easy people. This is an open forum where everyone is free to talk about anything so long as it doesn't go overboard.

I have to admit though, the sg education system is only good at producing top end people who only knows how to score in exams, have high or good IQ but have low or really poor EQ. So when these people cannot get into the civil service and goes into the real world (MNCs or private sectors) they will suffer...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

This whole debate reminds me of my 1st year in Uni when i was in monash!
I literally memorized the whole book for the exam and FAILED!
Quote the lecturer: Dun tell me what's in the book, notice the author????? I wrote the book.
Tell me your tots, ur arguments your views......got a re-sit and had to live with a grade lower........
Just like our glorious investment in PRC land that alot of our tax payer's money was invested by a book smart but conned by a street smart.......that's a big blow and reminder to all of us.
Now, if you all had the chance to visit that so called place, it'll be perfect to send our SAF troops there to train FIBUA hahahaha

[BKnight]

Yes, the reliance on scholars is based on the assumption that academic achievement is the best criterion for good political leadership, like in imperial China. The belief is to get the top graduates from university, pay them premium rates, and they will deliver, to a certain extent it had worked well in the past. However, the rationale then - and now - remains this: Until a better system of identifying young talent surfaces, academic achievement is still the most effective.....

We have created for ourselves a national mindset of compliance and obedience, giving rise to a generation of "play safe" who lack initiative and enterprise. The environment of a salaries and career safety discourages risk-taking initiatives. In politics, it often spawned a new breed of "autopilot" technocrats who are content to follow past policies rather than risk entering visionary ventures.

Looking back at history, Great national leaders, it is said, are often thrown up by the chaos of history, amidst mass suffering and national dangers, not in times of wealth and peace. These include such historical figures as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Mao Zedong and Winston Churchill, all of whom achieved greatness because of chaos. Few rich modern societies are known to have produced wise, visionary leaders, so can we, operating its scholarship government system, succeed in disproving this? Only time will tell….

Having said, all these, I do love my Country, Singapore and will sacrifice my life in defending this great tiny nation…So Say We All !!!!

[ptgary]

Yes, the reliance on scholars is based on the assumption that academic achievement is the best criterion for good political leadership, like in imperial China. The belief is to get the top graduates from university, pay them premium rates, and they will deliver, to a certain extent it had worked well in the past. However, the rationale then - and now - remains this: Until a better system of identifying young talent surfaces, academic achievement is still the most effective.....

We have created for ourselves a national mindset of compliance and obedience, giving rise to a generation of "play safe" who lack initiative and enterprise. The environment of a salaries and career safety discourages risk-taking initiatives. In politics, it often spawned a new breed of "autopilot" technocrats who are content to follow past policies rather than risk entering visionary ventures.

Looking back at history, Great national leaders, it is said, are often thrown up by the chaos of history, amidst mass suffering and national dangers, not in times of wealth and peace. These include such historical figures as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Mao Zedong and Winston Churchill, all of whom achieved greatness because of chaos. Few rich modern societies are known to have produced wise, visionary leaders, so can we, operating its scholarship government system, succeed in disproving this? Only time will tell….

Having said, all these, I do love my Country, Singapore and will sacrifice my life in defending this great tiny nation…So Say We All !!!!

Don't be naive. If you die in a war, you would be dying for the GOVERNMENT, and not for Singapore. :mad:

[lacoruna69]

Don't be naive. If you die in a war, you would be dying for the GOVERNMENT, and not for Singapore. :mad:

True to a certain extent. But if I were to really take up arms to repel any enemies, it would be for the sake of protecting my loved ones (my parents and siblings,....). Not so much for the GOV. Dun fight for the country, fight for the sake of your loved ones.


Looking back at history, Great national leaders, it is said, are often thrown up by the chaos of history, amidst mass suffering and national dangers, not in times of wealth and peace. These include such historical figures as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Mao Zedong and Winston Churchill, all of whom achieved greatness because of chaos.


Hmmmm, you left out our Dear Old Wise Leader, MM Lee.....:D I was still not born yet at that time. But Sillypore was indeed in a mess that time, from what I read in history books.

[mike1304k]

I agree with Bro Lacoruna fully. If I were to fight, I will be fighting for my family and loved ones. We live in an imperfect society and we have many many complaints. But the grass is always greener on the other side. Living in Corporate America, Japan Inc or Factory China. But whereever you choose to live, you will have to also find the compromise of govt, society, beliefs, security and family. Like many of the brothers here, I can choose to live in almost any country. Aus, Japan, America and so on. I can also fit in and find work there. However, after having lived abroad for almost 10 yrs, I would say that I feel most comfortable in Sg. It is the place I was born. So I will do all I can for this little piece of land, to protect it so that my family is safe. I choose to make this little red dot my own little paradise and I do not care about the society or govt or what.

It is like your family, it may not be perfect, but it is all we have. So we must make it our own little paradise.

[BKnight]

Don't be naive. If you die in a war, you would be dying for the GOVERNMENT, and not for Singapore. :mad:

Bro ptgary, think you missed my point.. Die for my Country Singapore meaning Die in defending Singapore including Sentosa and the rest of the islands including that lighthouse on little rock, Die to protect everyone that's dear to me, including parent, brothers, sisters, relatives, friends, relatives, wife, kids, mistressess, lovers etc.....not for any political systems..:D

[BKnight]

Hmmmm, you left out our Dear Old Wise Leader, MM Lee.....:D I was still not born yet at that time. But Sillypore was indeed in a mess that time, from what I read in history books.[/QUOTE]

"historical figures" - Past tense..you got IT???? :D

I have great respect for him and for what he did for Singapore..

Come to think of it, If not for him, you think got Armani, Zara to cheong now? Jalan Sultan area will be restricted area liao because its for the Sultan to jalan jalan.....hahahahaha

[Compassion]

I think fighting for our country (Singapore) is fighting for our families and loved ones. That's not seperate the two. It was our ancestors who worked hard to make Singapore for what it is today.

When we devote our time and energy and even willing to die defending Singapore, it is to ensure our families and loved ones continue to enjoy what we are having now. It is not fightiing for any political party or system.

Coming back to the issue under discussion, we should also not with one stroke of the brush, condemn all scholars as incompetent, just because one of them was not able to handle his emotional entanglement. Don't get me wrong. I am not a scholar and I think there is much improvement needed to fine tune our meritocratic system of focusing on scholars only.

His problem can happen to all type of people, scholar or not. So let's not try to generalise.

[IGrew]

Bro IGrew, dun think there anything wrong in brudders here discussing abt such issues & giving their own remarks... This is open forum where every samsters can have their own opinion or to be precise this is a "sex forum" where ppl share info... As long as the TS start the thread at the appropriate place... There should be no issues... Just a passerby with 一角 rmb worth of comment... :D

Bro, this thread is to discuss why such a bright young man with high IO but low EQ...We are not condeming him or wat, btw, his parents will not know unless you tell them to come in this forum, this thread is also good for scholars to be or living scholars to wake them up..:D

Don't get me wrong lah. I not against discussing this topic in this forum. I am asking us to be sensitive to his parent's feelings. Losing a loved one and seeing people saying such things even thought they may be correct, is not helpful in a grieving situation. I know the parents will not be reading (but then who knows), but I am appealing we be careful. Go ahead and discuss, but be mindful.

[ptgary]

To keep things in perspective regarding the topic about fighting for the Government instead of for Singapore, consider this question:

If Singapore were ever to go to war, would we see the ministers' sons fighting with us on the frontline?

In olden days, the Emperor or King led the army personally when his country went to war. How about now? What are we actually defending?

[BKnight]

To keep things in perspective regarding the topic about fighting for the Government instead of for Singapore, consider this question:

If Singapore were ever to go to war, would we see the ministers' sons fighting with us on the frontline?

In olden days, the Emperor or King led the army personally when his country went to war. How about now? What are we actually defending?

Use your head to think what is worth defending to you!!!![/ :D

[daggerboy]

I cant comment on others but my life is dictated by 3 hallowed words:

"Duty, honour and country".

[BKnight]

[QUOTE=ptgary;3540571] If Singapore were ever to go to war, would we see the ministers' sons fighting with us on the frontline?


Frankly I dont really give a damn whose sons or daughters, as long as I am fighting alongside with my fellow Singaporean bros on a common cause...:D

Bro, when time of war, you think so much will get you a 1st class ticket to upstairs or downstairs.....Be Big Heart and Brave Heart la....:D

[Stevie_R]

I cant comment on others but my life is dictated by 3 hallowed words:

"Duty, honour and country".

Bro, I like your style :D

[slider_72]

On the initial topic started by TS, I wonder whether the words "PRC girl" got the bros here into a sub-conscious prejudiced mode? It appears that the three of them met when the two guys were studying in the States. My assumption is that the PRC girl probably studied there as well, and possibly on some form of scholarship too. Otherwise it would be too coincidental for the three of them to meet in the States and for the PRC girl to come over to Singapore and stay here unless she is also on a scholarship from some Singapore agency.

I wonder whether there would have been so much attention paid to this case had the girl been a normal local girl-next-door Sillyporean. On the assumption that the girl involved is not a WL, I think her nationality should not be an issue at all.

On the other topic about fighting and dying for your country, I think the main reason why men step up to the plate and take up arms is to defend their families and loved ones. However, I think the reason why these same men charge forward into the thick of battle do so for the brothers on their left and right.

[mike1304k]

Well whatever her nationality is, the issue is that one should never forsake his family and parents just because he was unsuccessful in love. As my comment mentioned, it is silly to die for love or because of love. Perhaps the thread has taken a lofe of its own, however, guys and gals, if you lose your boyfriend and or galfren for whatever reason, take it as a chance to make yourself better and to grow from it. Show the guy or gal that he or she made the wrong choice by not choosing you.

As for scholars, that debate is better left for other threads and this for condolences to the passed and the bereaved.

As for fighting for country, government or family or whatever, it is a personal choice. We fight for what we cherish, irregardles of who follows or leads.

[BKnight]

Very Simple Equation :

Out of Love - You only lost 1 person love, if you die for love- You lost All Love including Old and New!

Not to mentioned all the nice food..hehehehe unless you prefer joss stick and paper la....:D

Before one do silly stuffs - think of your parents, favourite food and Fiona Xia or whoever you fancy......Also those person(s) that caused you to comtemplate suicide WILL BE LAUGHING AT YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE A COWARD, HAVE A HAPPY LIFE THAN YOU, SLEEPING AND BONKING IN A NICE BED....so how like that? Live and Live better loh is the most simple way out....

[daggerboy]

Love is a very powerful thing. That is the reason behind the saying that "Love is blind". All normal standards of judgment cease to operate for those in love. William Shakespeare catches this in these few lines from A Midsummer Night's Dream:

"Love looks not with your eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."

[repsolman]

I only hope people can see it from his emotional perspective and refrain from condemning, rediculing or judging this sorry case based on a narrow-minded viewpoint.

A*Star scholar or not, PRC plain-Jane or not, this was a young man who has never been in a previous relationship long enough to experience the pain, suffering and turmoil that bugs, bothers and hurts every one of us thoughout our own lives. Love is love and it reduces us all. Regardless of nationality, intellect or social standing, everybody is the same in the eyes of love. He fell in love for the first time and had to endure the pain of witnessing the only thing (to him anyway) that mattered most to him in his life being taken away by his best friend - that, no matter how you look at it, has to be hard to take. Does anyone remember how heartbroken they were when they finished their relationship with their first girlfriend? I'm sure all of us do - I for one remember every detail distinctly. Your first love will always remain the sweetest and it stays with you for life. I remember when I lost my first girlfriend, I cried like a girl, talked to my parents everyday about it (yes lame, but I was only 15 then) and entertained the thought of suicide. Yes, it did cross my mind. I'm glad I never went through with it, but I really feel for this guy as his story is not a unique one - the only difference was, he decided to go ahead with it.

Love is a strange thing. I hope he finds peace. Human beings long for love their entire lives, even more so that they do money, because this is the only one thing money can never buy, and many have died or killed in a bid to find it. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Most of the time, though, we're all slaves to this thing called love. As much as I admire the big-balls, ego-maniac talk that many forummers here like to proclaim, the fact will remain that all of us have a beating human heart, and we spend our lives looking for that someone to love and to love us back that same way. In the meantime, we die.

Power!!! ;)

[repsolman]

Y jump? Cos no book can teach him the winning formula.....so die lor!
Y pity 1 that does not even treasure his own life?
Not ridicule, just my personal stand, like i said, parents i pity, this kinda kid, die also better.....or else will be useless to family n society!

Wah, people die still tok until like dat...
why so mean n heart so black one...:eek:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wah, people die still tok until like dat...
why so mean n heart so black one...:eek:

Expression of one's tot does that doesn't coincide wif yours does not constitute to being mean or unreasonable.
Yes he's dead, too bad.....heart mean & black????? No no, it's called 认事不认人.
In life, we have to be clear when to apply or release our emotions and when not to release or let go any.
This kinda fellow falls under 有些人值得同情而有些人根本不值得你去同情.
To his parents, yes, please do but to him, no need la!
He already dun respect his own life you so heart felt for wat???
I'd rather feel sad for the dog that got knocked down by the car!
Why? Cos it didnt choose to die at its own WILL but that clown did!

[mike1304k]

Life is a very precious commodity that cannot be even priced. The guy had a tough break, but then that is life. Dying is easy, but living for some reason, finding the reason to live, is hard.

In so saying, the parents of this guy must have sacrificed a lot for him. No matter how brainy or talented a guy is, the start must have been hard for the parents. Perhaps his parents may be rich... I don't know. But then their dreams, their future, their investment..... all gone at the spur of a moment. This is like having your whole world torn down in one instant and you cannot get enough to even think of rebuilding. Death is permanent.... Death solves nothing.

[repsolman]

Expression of one's tot does that doesn't coincide wif yours does not constitute to being mean or unreasonable.
Yes he's dead, too bad.....heart mean & black????? No no, it's called ¤‹
¤º.
In life, we have to be clear when to apply or release our emotions and when not to release or let go any.
This kinda fellow falls under ›º<—Å ›º9,
<—`»Å.
To his parents, yes, please do but to him, no need la!
He already dun respect his own life you so heart felt for wat???
I'd rather feel sad for the dog that got knocked down by the car!
Why? Cos it didnt choose to die at its own WILL but that clown did!

Please refer Charmaine's post ;)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Please refer Charmaine's post ;)

I have read his post but i will not look and feel the emotional strain that fella had!
Why?
How many of us did not end up wif our 1st true love?
How many of us lost our 1st true love to another man?
How many of us didnt feel like dying after that happened to us?
How many of us are reading this now?
Why, yes, many felt like dying, but they chose to brave the storm........

[repsolman]

I have read his post but i will not look and feel the emotional strain that fella had!
Why?
How many of us did not end up wif our 1st true love?
How many of us lost our 1st true love to another man?
How many of us didnt feel like dying after that happened to us?
How many of us are reading this now?
Why, yes, many felt like dying, but they chose to brave the storm........

Honestly, I enjoy reading your posts.
u r strong and powerful, and it's hard for u to understand there are emotionally and mentally weak people in the world.
It takes all kinds to make this world...
but these lost souls don't 'deserve' it lah... :)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Honestly, I enjoy reading your posts.
u r strong and powerful, and it's hard for u to understand there are emotionally and mentally weak people in the world.
It takes all kinds to make this world...
but these lost souls don't 'deserve' it lah... :)

I totally agree wif you that there's all kinds of different souls on this earth.
As to strong or powerful, no la, me just a simple RETIRED or UNEMPLOYED man.......
To hard to understand there are emotionally & mentally weak people...well maybe yes or no.
Most here are matured adults, of cos, there are those who are matured by age but brains still infants la hahahahahaha...we know who they are hehehehe
k back to topic
My earlier post already spelled everything out clearly.
We all suffer but suffering is all part and parcel of life......and best is, is we all face life positively, accept and learn to live with the pain and suffering, then, isnt that suppose to be called growing up?

As to why i dun pity them, its because to choose not to face life but run away from it......this, in all religion, is the mother of all mortal sin!

Well, like a bro posted, maybe if he knew SBF earlier, we cud have saved his sorry ass.....ah well......
Cheers bro...and yes, I'm not the type to pity easily cos i tend to see through plots very easily & understand why so & so is at what state then & now no matter how hard they try to portray a strong front or wear a nice mask!

[Panamera]

I believe that the very person who takes his own life also may, at the moment of decision, only be partially aware of his reasons for doing so.

Strained relationships - He feel frustrated and angry because his psychological need to be understood and loved is not being met

Loss - Loss of a dream and a significant relationship (see "Identification," below)

Identification - He has made a deep emotional commitment to that person adn the loss of that person caused significant emotional trauma

Unbearable psychological pain - The psychological suffering became so unbearable that he desperately wanted a way to escape

Mental constriction - Lacking the ability to think creatively about his problems. Instead, his thinking becomes rigid, his focus narrows, and he begin to think more and more concretely, without the ability to imagine many different solutions. Suicide suddenly looks like the only solution

Inability to adjust - An inability to fit in to live life without a loved one Considering hinself too weak to overcome difficulties, he reject every option except death.

That there is more to life than we have been taught in school. There seems to be a yearning - to connect with ourselves, to connect with others in a place of safety and vulnerability - to be all that we know we can be ~ and yet a part of us has forgotten the path to take.

In fact many of us never even knew there was a path and so we have been walking or running up one road, only to find a dead end, or more painfully, we are afraid to move at all and so we remain stagnant, stuck and fractured ~ believing that this is all there is - Death

Do I think if suicide is a selfish act? Boy, this is a loaded question..I keep the answer in my heart...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Nothing in life justifies suicide.
NOTTIN!!!!!!!
Loss a loved one......MOVE ON
Millionaire.........Bankrupt....CLIMB BACK UP AGAIN
Loss family in disaster.........LIVE ON

To me...its only 1 reason...MENTALITY!
One who take his/her own life has done the right thing, they dun deserve to be around......

[Panamera]

Loss a loved one......MOVE ON..
Our Heart must go on...it is as big as the universe to have plently of love - Love for parents, Love for friends, Love for the living, Love for new sex partners..

Millionaire.........Bankrupt....CLIMB BACK UP AGAIN
Its only money and status, ONCE DEAD, YOU'RE BANKRUPT FOR LIFE, Real Money is definately more useful and practical than Paper Money.Think of the people who have caused you to this state and who have laughed at you....This is definately a booster to live and make back double the amount lost or gone.....

Loss family in disaster.........LIVE ON..
We need to be living to REMEMBER them, to keep them ALIVE in our heart and this is what they want us to do!

To me...its only 1 reason...MENTALITY!
Love yourself

They are regretting in hell now..Thats why when people jump, they scream because halfway down, they regretted....its like a flashback...

My 1st sighting of a suicide was when I was in Primary 3, we were lining-up for recess and saw a woman on top of a HDB roof opposite our school, she looked down and she jumped..I never forget her scream...I told my classmate who was holidng my little hand, She is a coward....she has the courage to jump but no courage to live and face the world...It does seems more painful with your brain busted.. Yup, these were the exact words I used..

[fee3fow]

Ya people should never commit suicide. Remember no matter how bad the situation you are in today, as long as you are alive, there is still a chance no matter how small that tomorrow will be better.

[Tony Stark]

A*Star scholar commits suicide over PRC girl

A*Star scholar commits suicide over PRC girl : The Singapore Enquirer: An independent online news daily (http://singaporeenquirer.sg/?p=1259)

Sad for this lad. If he had been to PRC land to cheong or gamble in Macau casinos and bath in Macau saunas before I'm sure he'll not be that foolish.

Having said, all these, I do love my Country, Singapore and will sacrifice my life in defending this great tiny nation…So Say We All !!!!

Let's not be naive.

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/print/sn.html

Population: 4,608,167 (July 2008 est.)

Manpower fit for military service: males age 16-49: 1,038,603 (2008 est.)

There's about 1 million foreigners working and living in Singapore. Which means that include PRs and WP holders? So 1 million pink IC holders defending another 2.6 million pink IC holders and 1 million blue IC and WP holders. Haha. The figures speak for itself. Population for Singapore is every 3.6 Singapore Citizens = 1 Foreigner. What a joke. :D



My 1st sighting of a suicide was when I was in Primary 3,

I can't even remember what I did when I was in Primary 4. :D

[xyz1001]

In so saying, the parents of this guy must have sacrificed a lot for him. No matter how brainy or talented a guy is, the start must have been hard for the parents. Perhaps his parents may be rich... I don't know. But then their dreams, their future, their investment..... all gone at the spur of a moment. This is like having your whole world torn down in one instant and you cannot get enough to even think of rebuilding. Death is permanent.... Death solves nothing.

That's why as a parent, i think character building is the most impt task.
Teach him how to fish, not keep giving the best fishes u can find.
In life, must be a fighter, not a quitter. Life will just keep pushing u around and u are in your current situation becoz u allow it to happen.
Every setback is meant to make u stronger, every time u pull yourself, u grow. They are never meant to kill u. When the going get tough, the tough gets going.


Nothing in life justifies suicide.
NOTTIN!!!!!!!
Loss a loved one......MOVE ON
Millionaire.........Bankrupt....CLIMB BACK UP AGAIN
Loss family in disaster.........LIVE ON

To me...its only 1 reason...MENTALITY!
One who take his/her own life has done the right thing, they dun deserve to be around......

Super agreed.
In fact, i disagree with the saying 士可杀,不可辱.
As long as i live, i get the chance to see how the humiliation is paid back ten folds. Coz 大丈夫能曲能伸. Yes it all bores down to mentality.

Ya people should never commit suicide. Remember no matter how bad the situation you are in today, as long as you are alive, there is still a chance no matter how small that tomorrow will be better.

If it is really so bad, it couldn't get any worse, so tmr will DEFINITELY be better ya BUT u need to be alive to be able to see the many wonderful things that has yet to come.

[xyz1001]

Love is a strange thing. I hope he finds peace. Human beings long for love their entire lives, even more so that they do money, because this is the only one thing money can never buy, and many have died or killed in a bid to find it. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't. Most of the time, though, we're all slaves to this thing called love. As much as I admire the big-balls, ego-maniac talk that many forummers here like to proclaim, the fact will remain that all of us have a beating human heart, and we spend our lives looking for that someone to love and to love us back that same way. In the meantime, we die.



I'll prove my sincerity, I'll prove I love you more, I'll prove that with the only thing I have, my life. Having no room given, he did the only thing he could do, he went and prove it.


Love is indeed a strange thing, and it exist in many forms.
What kind of love are you looking for?

Boy met girl,
boy fell in love with girl,
boy did EVERYTHING possible to win her heart,
and these lasted for years.
Girl never felt so loved in her life and became a couple.

Perhaps many may think this is a happy ending, but to me, i think the girl is just touched by what the boy has done for her. She is just being loved.

One day, she met someone else, someone she really love and would do EVERTHING for him... What happens?
One day, the boy ran out of energy to do the things that touches her... What happens?
How many couples actually stays together??

Man, really dun need to prove so much,
If she is yours, she will be yours.

[mike1304k]

I do not know why, but why does loving someone have to be proving something or doing something? I'll tell you a story of the 2nd year of my dating my wife. It was April 1st and she told me that she was now having second thoughts. First thing that came to my mind was that she had patched up with her ex. Or that she found loving a foreigner too demanding. I said to her "if you are breaking to go back to the ex, good luck to you because he gambles and wastes money". If you think that you have found happiness somewhere else, then I will let you go to allow you the chance to find out". It of course shattered me and I was going from standing to sitting position. But in the end, it was a silly April Fool's joke that blew up in her face.

But seriously, love is not about who's dick is longer and or who earns more or who loves more. It is about who you love. When you love someone, it feels like your heart is about to explode. It is about to explode from the love you feel. You will do anything for the person, and love that person in everyway, just so that the person can love you back, even for a little bit. That may be a romantic way of putting it, but remember the love parents have for children? It is unconditional. It is self sacrificing. That is love.

[colins]

And love is certainly not an April Fools' joke which you can tell again on the second year.

[repsolman]

To me...its only 1 reason...MENTALITY!
One who take his/her own life has done the right thing, they dun deserve to be around......

This is an interesting thread, and a learning experience just reading the comments.

Was wondering if you can share your views on euthanasia? Looks at the government will legalise it at some point, looking at the trial balloons going up recently. Thanks. :)

[Panamera]

This is an interesting thread, and a learning experience just reading the comments.

Was wondering if you can share your views on euthanasia? Looks at the government will legalise it at some point, looking at the trial balloons going up recently. Thanks. :)

Passive euthanasia have been practising in Singapore for years. I think you are referring to Active Euthanasia – a way for sound minded people to decide when to die…

Call me old thinking despite a western education, To me - Filial piety (孝) to our parents and love ones is the first virtue and a primary basis in our Chinese culture. Personally I am against it and will take a public stand against mercy killing

Euthanasia should not be equated to painless death. It cannot be… Regardless of the arguement that it can be a good death if patient family and all the loved ones feel that the decision is right but it is a major challenge because there is probably no good death. Death is a permanent separation and a definite step towards unknown. For those with omnipotent powers by their side, perhaps this process is easier but there is no easy way out…

Regardless of one's illness, and however sick one is, he or she shall not be killed because of desperation and loss of hope of recovery. Even with the consent or request of the patient, it is regarded as suicide and aggression against the other.

I am also VERY CONFIDENT that all respective religious (except Hindu) will come out staunchly against all forms of passive and active euthanasia, ranging from the denial of treatment, food and water to the administration of a lethal injection.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Well said bro, well said.

[Panamera]

Well said bro, well said.

In fact, I ended a friendship with an associate 5/6 years ago due to this.

This ex-associate's father had a fall in the toilet and hit his head..and didn’t regain conscious for weeks but is alive...He and his sister both agreed to opt for a passive euthanasia because it was deem too troublesome to take care by his children as they do not know when he will wake up!!!!!!!

I know that it is his personal family matters, but I cannot bring myself to remain on friendly term with people who are not filial, my simple reason is this: If you can’t even love/ treat your own parents well then what about friends?

His father sent both kids to study in states, gave them a condo unit each (1 for his married sister and 1 for him) and ensured that both will have a good easy life. Yet what did he have in return? Ended life prematurely.

He related it to us during the funeral and that was the last time we kept in touch..I didn’t even attend his wedding last year…

Giving birth to a piece of char siew is better than them!!! WTF!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Karma dude...they'll receive their karma in due time!
Its nottin short of LEGAL murder!
To me, unless the person him/herself calls the shot...i may still be able to accept.
For cases like there's no known cure and the patient will just die in MAJOR pain and suffering, if due to his own conscious decision, this i can understand.
But, if one is unconscious and someone pulls the plug on his behalf, it's nottin less than MURDER!

[petrolheadsg]

Back to the topic ...

firstly my condolences to the family of the deceased and also to the pain felt by those close to this boy.

Another observation is that there are many, both young and not so young that look for love in all the wrong places. Now I dont want to get into a discussion about prejudices against china girls but honestly, a lot of brothers who fail (for one reason or other) to have a relationship with local girls then look for love in pubs, ktvs, etc While in the throes of passion and blinded by lust, they mistake this to be love???? And when they get "cheated" they cry blue murder and then join the faction that condemns "china girls"?

Honestly, these bros need to first sort out their self esteem issues and learn more about managing relationships.

Not here to preach morality...far from it. But at least go about relationships sensibly. Look for a girlfriend where you find decent gals. You want to play with gals from ktvs and what not...fine...just recognize it for what it is...play.

Cant find a good local gal? Look to yourself and see if there are any shortcomings or areas for improvement first please. Btw I have had real relationships with BOTH local and non-local gals (I exclude those in the entertainment world and that includes not just your Xiao Jies but also KJs, foot massage gals, etc) so I think I have earned at least some credibility to say this from my own personal experience.

[mike1304k]

Karma dude...they'll receive their karma in due time!
Its nottin short of LEGAL murder!
To me, unless the person him/herself calls the shot...i may still be able to accept.
For cases like there's no known cure and the patient will just die in MAJOR pain and suffering, if due to his own conscious decision, this i can understand.
But, if one is unconscious and someone pulls the plug on his behalf, it's nottin less than MURDER!

For me I will only consider it if the following conditions are fulfilled:
1) When the mind is irreparably damaged and there is no hope of recovery. If this is the case, I have given instructions that my organs be harvested for donation.

2) If there is terminal, not chronic only, disease and the choice is long painful treatment that will only give you a very slim chance of survival. I was faced with this choice once before.. being diagnosed for 2 brain tumours. Could die from them, just do not know when.. I chose life... I chose to fight. But if the tumours were too big and survival seems slim, I would consider not taking anything other than pain meds and just going like that.

3) If the patient has left expressed instructions to leave him to die naturally without trying to revive him. I have left such instructions with wife that if I were to become incapable, she has to turn off the switch. (life support equipment). The reason is I do not want to be a burden to her and the family and I know that by living, I would be a constant emotional drain. Better off that I am dead and that she get on with her life.

4) If and when I have lost my mind and am speaking gibberish, then it is also time for me to go. Because I really do not want to be a burden and also to cause any problems... So bring me to the deepest mountain and leave me there, just like the old days of Japan. I want to go with pride and honour.

This is my take lah... There are many reason why one might want to leave. And sometimes it may be better to give them the diginity to leave as painlessly and as smoothly as possible.

I had a similar experience with a fren once. His dad had a massive stroke. The CT scans and even the best doctors said that his dad's only future is to become a vegetable. It was so massive that half his brain had a blood clot. So when my fren's dad's heart started to fail, he decided to let his dad go. He was fully able to look after his dad and looking after him was his honour. But he knew his dad was a proud man, who did not want to be a vegetable and be carried up and down... I cannot say anything on this, but it is a choice he has to live with. I have coffee with him ever so often and he is still very haunted by his choice. It was not an easy choice, it was not a choice of choosing the easy way out. But he was trying to do what he thought his father wanted. He prays to his father everyday and goes to the temple just so that he can reconcile his thoughts and decision.

On the flip side, my dad-in-law is also half paralysed. He also had a stroke.. So I know what I say and I have quite a few personal experience. I ask him how he feels and he says sometimes he wished he had gone. But if he did, he would not have been around for his children's weddings. But now he cannot work, cannot do very much and has to stay at home... Which to him is also quite painful.

Just my two cents worth... We can say many things... but it is until we are faced with the true depths of the situation, we will never know how we will react.

[slider_72]

This ex-associate's father had a fall in the toilet and hit his head..and didn’t regain conscious for weeks but is alive...He and his sister both agreed to opt for a passive euthanasia because it was deem too troublesome to take care by his children as they do not know when he will wake up!!!!!!!

I am in full agreement with you on the point that filial piety is very important and sorely lacking in our society nowadays. But in relation to your post about your ex-associate, with all due respect, an outright condemnation of what they did may require some qualification.

Assuming that your ex-associate's father was hospitalised in Singapore, more probable than not the doctors would have explained his condition to the family members. Passive euthanasia is not something that you can opt for without the doctor's recommendation. I think his father's condition must be quite bad, so bad so that the doctor could have suggested this option as a possibility. Even if the children wanted passive euthanasia for their father, this cannot be done without the attending doctor's approval. The attending doctor's approval would probably be subject to the ethics committee's review and approval before it can be carried out.

If it is something that was supported by the doctor's recommendation, perhaps that might be the best thing for the patient. Imagine a scenario where due to the impact on the head, the patient is comatose with extensive cerebral haemorrage, swelling within the cranium cavity and damaged cerebral cortex, the patient is probably as good as dead with zero chance of survival. Passive euthanasia in such a situation, to put it crudely, puts the patient out of his misery.

Therefore, before anyone condemns the children who opts for passive euthanasia for their sick parent, one needs to understand the condition in which the sick parent was in, what were the chances of survival, what will happen to the patient if he/she survives, the quality of life, etc and what are the doctor's recommendations.

[Panamera]

Therefore, before anyone condemns the children who opts for passive euthanasia for their sick parent, one needs to understand the condition in which the sick parent was in, what were the chances of survival, what will happen to the patient if he/she survives, the quality of life, etc and what are the doctor's recommendations.

Accordingly he related to us that "no point let him hanging there"

My point of view is that he could just let his father end his life in a natural way....Even with a zero chance of survival, let him live for just a day or a week or even an hour...Doctor recommandation is 1 thing but thats not the Doctor father.... as a son he make the call....

[mike1304k]

I am in full agreement with you on the point that filial piety is very important and sorely lacking in our society nowadays. But in relation to your post about your ex-associate, with all due respect, an outright condemnation of what they did may require some qualification.

Assuming that your ex-associate's father was hospitalised in Singapore, more probable than not the doctors would have explained his condition to the family members. Passive euthanasia is not something that you can opt for without the doctor's recommendation. I think his father's condition must be quite bad, so bad so that the doctor could have suggested this option as a possibility. Even if the children wanted passive euthanasia for their father, this cannot be done without the attending doctor's approval. The attending doctor's approval would probably be subject to the ethics committee's review and approval before it can be carried out.

If it is something that was supported by the doctor's recommendation, perhaps that might be the best thing for the patient. Imagine a scenario where due to the impact on the head, the patient is comatose with extensive cerebral haemorrage, swelling within the cranium cavity and damaged cerebral cortex, the patient is probably as good as dead with zero chance of survival. Passive euthanasia in such a situation, to put it crudely, puts the patient out of his misery.

Therefore, before anyone condemns the children who opts for passive euthanasia for their sick parent, one needs to understand the condition in which the sick parent was in, what were the chances of survival, what will happen to the patient if he/she survives, the quality of life, etc and what are the doctor's recommendations.

Exactly my fren's case lor... But the thing is... some people still want to cling onto to hope... Some do not want the patient to "suffer". Just like the parents of the boy in coma for 14 years. In the end, the boy died of pneumonia....

Or to put it crudely lah... If someone had a parent who had severe Alzheimer's Dementia... The parent is eating rubbish, shitting every where and if he or she is allowed outside, may wander into the middle of the road and get knocked down. To the patient, his or her mind is not working... A may be equals to D or E.. In fact, to go downstairs to the bottom of the HDB, he or she can take the lift or jump over the ledge... To the patient... I am going down.... Does that mean that the child cannot send the parent to a home? At least there the parent will be looked after and given medications. This parent is already a walking vegetable.. I read in a magazine somewhere about a man... he had Alzheimer's... at age 40... he said he was living in a death trap... where he will slowly lose everything and one day will not even remember his own family. Then one day, he will become a vegetable and he feels so much pain... Or another case of an elderly whose wife of 40 years is now demented... He does not want to send her to a home, but he cannot take care of her... He is old and his children are not living with them... He lets her go, he will also be alone...

So the world is such, there are many things that we as third party or people who have not gone through can only make observations. But it is the family that has to do all the suffering and I tell you, sometimes, the suffering is much worse than being off dead. My uncle passed from cancer many years ago... He had it first in the stomach... went through all the chemo and so on... had a remission for a few years and the cancer came back with a vengeance... It spread to the lungs and so on... His son, my cousin said that the hardest time for him was to see his dad at the last stages... when he could not breath or eat or do anything.. Just wasting away... And after so many years of fighting a losing battle.

[Panamera]

Hi Bros,

Getting to serious topic liao

Take a break and enjoy this joke: :D

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/sexual-health-issues/119789-help-need-im-worrying.html

[Panamera]

当孩子是儿时，你带他们去幼稚园，当你老时，他们带你去老人园 :(

[repsolman]

Indeed a serious topic and valuable insights. At the end of the day, we need to wear another's shoes to fully empathise with the situation. There is bound to be abuse in any system, but I would argue that there may be genuine cases where the merciful termination of life should not be simply cast out the window.

I've seen how my own mother suffered after 2 severe strokes that left her permanently disabled, but our family supported and loved her for over 10 years in her debilitated state. It was tortuous to see her suffer and her condition deteriorate to the extent of nose-feeds and being permanently bed-ridden. When she passed away, we felt relief, not so much for ourselves, but for my dearest mother, who's finally been released from the trap which her body has become. We were happy we enjoyed her presence all those difficult years, but at the back of my mind, I wonder if it was really doing her any favours.

Such is life.

[y291252001]

Love is indeed a strange thing, and it exist in many forms.
What kind of love are you looking for?

.....
Man, really dun need to prove so much,
If she is yours, she will be yours.

Agree bro, love exists in many forms. Seen ugly girls being loved by handsome guys, pretty girls in the arms of rich-but-ugly dudes, etc - just talking about the physical aspects only, things that can be seen.

Anyway, love is mysterious. That's all i can say.

Hope things are good with you - haven't seen much postings from you but wish you well. Bro SuhiRo posted at RSE recently, he's still busy as last time - which is good considering the bleak economy. ;)

[brandonheat]

I promise myself i will get a pretty girl :)
hahaha.....
well...
a lot of pretty locals ^^
u just need to find :)
good luck~