Love?

[xroad]

Hi bros,

Been married for few years and do cheong once awhile but always follow the sop of fuck & forget.

But last year I engaged a FL and never did I expect it would turned my life upside down.....
Initially, it was just the usual transaction, but we exchanged contacts as she wanted to skip her okt should I wish to engage her again next time.

To cut the story short, I met up with her few more times, got to know her better and found myself fallen for her.... she also confessed that she has feeling for me and promised to quit FL. Divorce did came to my mind. But she told me she is willing to be in the dark and do not wish to break up my marriage.

I am really confused now. Everyday I go home to my wife pretending that I still love her but thinking of someone in my heart.
I believe she has quit FL for good but there are still issues between us. I do not know if I should get a divorce and be with her or just treat this as an affair/FB relationship.

Does any bros here have similar experiences?
Please share or suggest what I should do. :confused:

[sammyboyfor]

You want to leave your wife for a freakin PROSTITUTE????:eek: You're either mad, retarded or both!:rolleyes:

I suggest your seek psychiatric help immediately. :(

[iCoPuLaTe]

IMO,(i'm not married yet so take it lik a pinch of salt).In your mind maybe you found someone to open your mind to,share your worries,unhappiness etc.

Over time in marriage, passion might die due to many factors,like the FL u mention,kids,finincial issues.I seen to many of my friend like that til i scare marriage.

Wife to me-Is someone to take care of you/your parent/your kids when you grow old, she might grow older & look hagged after doing many things for you.Sacrifizing her youth/time for you, you wife maybe cannot give you 100% of what you wanted in life..
Edited here: If the new woman can 100% also unconditionlly take care of you/aged parents should shit happen, i must say> i'm jealouse for you to get such a nice person.

Ask yourself: Y do you marry your current wife in the 1st place?Does she not have the qualities which you wanted in the 1st place?

Lets say your wife is only 70% good...now you looking for the missing 30%(passion)..if you get it.. issit worth to lose the 70% you original have; (if u marry the new female), & try to build back the missing 70%? How can you guarenty the new female is better then your current wife?
Do you have kids?If yes: if a woman is willing to born a child for you, i must say> U are a lucky person.

I know it hard for you to make a decision now..And i do not know know what actually happen,only based on your post.

*You cannot get back what you currently have if you let it go.You cannot be sure by letting go now, you can get back watever you lost now, in the future.

[sammyboyfor]

Ask yourself: Y do you marry your current wife in the 1st place?Does she not have the qualities which you wanted in the 1st place?



That's totally irrelevent!:eek: The fact remains that nobody in his right mind would want to marry a WHORE!

Imagine having to tell the kids how mummy and daddy met...

Daughter : "Daddy.. where did you meet mummy?"
Dad : "I met her in hotel 81 and she spread her legs for me for $60.
Daughter : "Daddy, can I be like mummy when I grow up? I want to earn easy money too.".

It boggles the mind why anyone would want to do anything so stupid!

However, before they get to the making kids part, they first have to go through a wedding ceremony...

Guest says to groom : "Hey your wife looks familiar.. I think I fucked her last year... she gave me ass rim and bbbj.. damned shiok man!".

Or "Why your wife chee bye got smell.. did you notice it when you screw her?"

[iCoPuLaTe]

That's totally irrelevent!:eek: The fact remains that nobody in his right mind would want to marry a WHORE!





I can see where you're coming from...Its quite same but from a different approach, if he can tell himself that his wife is better, he would not choose the FL over his wife.

[Panamera]

IMO,(i'm not married yet so take it lik a pinch of salt).In your mind maybe you found someone to open your mind to,share your worries,unhappiness etc.

Over time in marriage, passion might die due to many factors,like the FL u mention,kids,finincial issues.I seen to many of my friend like that til i scare marriage.

Wife to me-Is someone to take care of you/your parent/your kids when you grow old, she might grow older & look hagged after doing many things for you.Sacrifizing her youth/time for you, you wife maybe cannot give you 100% of what you wanted in life..
Edited here: If the new woman can 100% also unconditionlly take care of you/aged parents should shit happen, i must say> i'm jealouse for you to get such a nice person.

Ask yourself: Y do you marry your current wife in the 1st place?Does she not have the qualities which you wanted in the 1st place?

Lets say your wife is only 70% good...now you looking for the missing 30%(passion)..if you get it.. issit worth to lose the 70% you original have; (if u marry the new female), & try to build back the missing 70%? How can you guarenty the new female is better then your current wife?
Do you have kids?If yes: if a woman is willing to born a child for you, i must say> U are a lucky person.

I know it hard for you to make a decision now..And i do not know know what actually happen,only based on your post.

*You cannot get back what you currently have if you let it go.You cannot be sure by letting go now, you can get back watever you lost now, in the future.

Hard to make a decision?

What are you talking, bro?

Do you understand what is an FL? or What is T.S is posting?

[Panamera]

That's totally irrelevent!:eek: The fact remains that nobody in his right mind would want to marry a WHORE!

Imagine having to tell the kids how mummy and daddy met...

Daughter : "Daddy.. where did you meet mummy?"
Dad : "I met her in hotel 81 and she spread her legs for me for $60.
Daughter : "Daddy, can I be like mummy when I grow up? I want to earn easy money too.".

It boggles the mind why anyone would want to do anything so stupid!

However, before they get to the making kids part, they first have to go through a wedding ceremony...

Guest says to groom : "Hey your wife looks familiar.. I think I fucked her last year... she gave me ass rim and bbbj.. damned shiok man!".

Or "Why your wife chee bye got smell.. did you notice it when you screw her?"

Daughter : "Daddy.. How come I don't look like you?"
Dad : "Errr...........you look like mummy"
Daughter : "Daddy, my skin is dark and looks like an indian..why your so fair?"
Dad: "Errr......"You were born at nite"
Daughter: "Daddy, Daddy...."
Dad: "STOP ASKING ANY MORE QUESTIONS!"
Dad:"WTF, She told me I was the only one who did her RAW out of Love"

Guest says to groom : "Hey Now we are cousin and so are the rest of the bros at this table"

I cannot comprehend as to why anyone with sound mind and a wife want to marry a Hooker!!!!!

[mike1304k]

Muahaha Panamera... you make me roll on the floor... And so do the statement of the boss..

It is true lah.... Imagine how you can fall in love with an FL? The chances of that is 1,000,000,000 to 1. And like my thread on a new wave of KC trap, these WL and FL's will use everything in their arsenal to hook a guy and to either make him a very poor man... or to get him to marry her and then get her out of the line or to support her while she does the line on the side...

TS, since you are already married, don't you think you are being very silly? Just because the lady strokes you literally in the right way in all the right places, you want to leave your wife for her? Is it lust or love? Is it your ego speaking or your brain speaking?

No one is infallible... and no one is protected from the KC trap curse... Like many brothers said... the moment you start to RTF too often and the moment you feel you have some feelings, all the danger signs are there and you have to run like hell. Because you are coming to the deep edge and are about to fall into the chasm.

To be fair to the lady... maybe she wants to really leave the line.. and maybe she really likes you (please note that I do not use the word love) because lets face it... their rule of the game is also never to fall in love... They have to protect their game and also their game plan....

I wish you luck and I hope that you will think many many times... Not only twice hor...

[Charmaine]

I won't judge. Love is blind, and no matter what other people may tell you here, the only person responsible for your own happiness is yourself. Every case is unique.

I wish you the best. Remember, though, that happiness is something that money cannot buy. Judge a woman by who she is, or what she's capable of, not what she does or what country she was born in. At the end of the day, your personal happiness is the only thing that it's important. You won't get another chance this lifetime to correct a wrong mistake, but you also won't live long enough to regret your choice.

All that matters is that you're happy. Wife or not, prostitute or not, as long as it feels right, let nobody else talk you out of it. All the best.

[Panamera]

I won't judge. Love is blind, and no matter what other people may tell you here, the only person responsible for your own happiness is yourself. Every case is unique.

I wish you the best. Remember, though, that happiness is something that money cannot buy. Judge a woman by who she is, or what she's capable of, not what she does or what country she was born in. At the end of the day, your personal happiness is the only thing that it's important. You won't get another chance this lifetime to correct a wrong mistake, but you also won't live long enough to regret your choice.

All that matters is that you're happy. Wife or not, prostitute or not, as long as it feels right, let nobody else talk you out of it. All the best.

I agreed to your view to a certain extend though.

At the end of the day is "T.S CALL AND CHOICE"!

Just don't bring up the "FL past" in times of disagreement or quarrell or become suspicious when she is not home or wat........One who eat salted fish, One must be able to tahan the thirst...BUT it is often easy to say than walk the talk..we are creature of emotion..

[ronckw]

Dear TS....

If i were you I will be happy to keep her as a FB....

It is good to be married & the other party is willinng to be in the dark...

I would love such relationships........

Looking forward to my 1st FB relationship....

[Charmaine]

A classic case of heart vs head, it seems. Most forummers would besiege you to make a decision based on the latter. Sometimes, though, gut instincts, or merely just a general feeling that she is the person you've been looking out for your whole life, as a decision-making tool will suffice, and it doesn't always have to be the wrong one. Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink" illustrates this articulately, and the gist of the book essentially describes the nature of making split-second decisions based on sheer instinct, rather than pouring through hours and hours of statistics, facts and "what seems like the right thing to do" arguments, may sometimes be the best one.

The name of this forum is aptly named "Matters of the Heart", not "Head". Ask your heart if you'll be happier with her or with your current wife. Logical conclusions based on calculated decision-making appeals to the head, and that's something that definitely has to be taken into consideration, but I reckon we should be offering him snippets of our advice based on how he feels, not what seems right. On the surface of most matters, anyway, getting involved with women who work shoddy jobs theoretically never seem right. So does it always have to be a a straightforward "She's a prostitute, forget it!"?

[mike1304k]

Dear TS....

If i were you I will be happy to keep her as a FB....

It is good to be married & the other party is willinng to be in the dark...

I would love such relationships........

Looking forward to my 1st FB relationship....

Not so easy lah... Bro...

Unless you have the pockets of a rich man, or, looks of a movie star, or dick as big and long as a horse, your FB will be asking you what is in it for her? I have seen some guys start FB relationships with lonely SWT or housewives or office mates. But there is always a price. Be it love, time, money or whatever. Every relationship is an investment of something. You bring someting into the equation and she brings something in. No free rides and if you find one, you are either damn lucky or be ready to take a hit from somewhere.

[fee3fow]

T.S i think you need to ask yourself a few qns:

How long do you know your wife? And how long do you know this FL?

Are you able to get over the mental barrier of having a FL as a wife?

Not sure if you have kids but if you have how are you going to answer to them if next time they know that you divorce their mother for a FL?? You know what kind of values you will pass down to them??

It is true you may be happier with the FL now than your wife, but in life, many things we do we cannot only think about ourselves but we also have to spare a thought to others.

[colins]

I wish you the best. Remember, though, that happiness is something that money cannot buy. Judge a woman by who she is, or what she's capable of, not what she does or what country she was born in. At the end of the day, your personal happiness is the only thing that it's important. You won't get another chance this lifetime to correct a wrong mistake, but you also won't live long enough to regret your choice.


Unfortunately, not many people has the ability to judge the minute difference in stereotypes in order to pick up those who are suitable as wives. We do not have many 2-3 years to get married, suffered from errors and summon courage to face failures and get a divorce. In its entirety, the honeymoon period is short, breaking off period is short, the longest period of time is in maintaining the marriage. During this period, you do see the person as she is, stripped of all pretence. It is during this period that you need to deal with her past, her background and her habits. How not to see what she does and which culture she is from?

[ronckw]

Not so easy lah... Bro...

Unless you have the pockets of a rich man, or, looks of a movie star, or dick as big and long as a horse, your FB will be asking you what is in it for her? I have seen some guys start FB relationships with lonely SWT or housewives or office mates. But there is always a price. Be it love, time, money or whatever. Every relationship is an investment of something. You bring someting into the equation and she brings something in. No free rides and if you find one, you are either damn lucky or be ready to take a hit from somewhere.

Bro...i fully agree.....thats y i am still looking forward to NSA FB realtionship...

Thats very hard to come by.....managed to have it once but it could not last as the investment I need was time & i did not have that....

Anyway....life sux...so y complain....life still goes on....:D

[Panamera]

Bro...i fully agree.....thats y i am still looking forward to NSA FB realtionship...

Thats very hard to come by.....managed to have it once but it could not last as the investment I need was time & i did not have that....

Anyway....life sux...so y complain....life still goes on....:D

T.S already has a Private Banking account and now he need a Retail Banking account..Wonder why he want to close the Exclusive P.B a/c for Retail a/c..He can have both....Long term "BanKing" investment and a Daily Current "Banking" account with no interest.... :D

[congo9]

Hi , you are not alone out there.

I have been with my current beau for sometimes. I have a wife though and a kid. She is my elder cousin ( TANG GE ) , wifey. Naturally , she is older then me. I am in my mid 30s , and she is mid 40s. But she look younger then her age and i look older them my real age. If you are asking how we get started , i let you guys know the juicy detail later, inlcuding ......XXX !

One thing good , is that she is very independent. She understand that if we will to get married, this will be biggest SCANDAL in our extended family ! She knows how far we can go in a real world. But our love for each other is for real !

[bullbull]

Bros..man has two heads..which one is controlling you now.?????????????

[congo9]

Bros..man has two heads..which one is controlling you now.?????????????

I tried to reason to myself why i fell for a 40 yr old odd. At my age ,i shd be bonkng SYT or my wife only. Wifey is always not home too.

My current beau show me photograph of my wife booking into hotel with 2 men before. I was devastated. COnfronted my wife abt it, but she goes back to the same way a few weeks later. Depressing siah .....and also preesure of work as i am a self employed. I cant say that MY FB is not attractive. In fact , she is a TAI TAI ...as my cousin is well to do. Gave her a huge sum of allowance every month. So she maintain herself quite well physically.

Me and my current beau goes a long way back. From the days at Kampong till now. But we only started bonking 8 months back. Becos we find that we are two lonely souls, share a lot in common. She has given up on the relationship with my cousin long way back. Hang on becos of the fat allowance she get every month from him. As my cousin is a known bisexual by a few make cousins together.......

1st 3 month , was constant bonking .......differnt location that all. Never in my life i know i can bonk so hard and well. "Energizer bunny" is my nick to her.

As for my wife , i just can manage once per night. I think the partner who is bonkingwith you plays quite a important part as well.

Stay tune for more ....

My beau ask me to divorce my wife .......but i am hanging on for my child sake.

[ronckw]

T.S already has a Private Banking account and now he need a Retail Banking account..Wonder why he want to close the Exclusive P.B a/c for Retail a/c..He can have both....Long term "BanKing" investment and a Daily Current "Banking" account with no interest.... :D

Bro...thats a good 1....never tot that the banking accounts can be related to this in anyway....thumbs up for u!!!

maybe TS wanna put all the principle in 1 banking account to get faster ROI??? ehehee...

[slider_72]

Bro...thats a good 1....never tot that the banking accounts can be related to this in anyway....thumbs up for u!!!

maybe TS wanna put all the principle in 1 banking account to get faster ROI??? ehehee...

Divorcing the wife to go with a WL is like withdrawing your money from DBS Bank and placing them in Lehman Bros. DBS Bank is boring but steadfast, Lehman Bros is sexy but high risk.

TS, your call.

[mike1304k]

Divorcing the wife to go with a WL is like withdrawing your money from DBS Bank and placing them in Lehman Bros. DBS Bank is boring but steadfast, Lehman Bros is sexy but high risk.

TS, your call.

uuhh.. bro... din a lot of people lose money at DBS bcoz they put their funds in Hi Note 5... which I call Hi 5 Notes (after that kids singing group Hi5).... That was linked to Lehman and everyone nosebleed.....

Treat wife like a Fixed Deposit Account... Stable interest income... safe and always there when you need it.... Mistress is like the leveraged trading account, take more risk... get more return... take risk no use brain... kenna burnt... Take FB as a blind investment.... got return... good... no return... at least you are seen in the company of some pretty young thing....

Parents will become a Joint account... you put in and they withdraw... because for me... I feel that they have already done their part to look after me and to bring me up, now it is my time to take care of them and bring them up... So even if I have to eat bread and my family has to go without certain things, I will still give my parents as much as I can...

[Panamera]

Since I started the Banking lesson..

Please allow me continue, to illustrate further:

Government bonds - Parents
Not subject to credit quality ratings. These securities are considered to be of the VERY HIGHEST credit quality.

Investment-Grade bonds - Wife
A bond which is relatively safe, having a high bond rating such as BBB or above.

Junk bonds – WL/FL
A high-risk, non-investment-grade bond with a low credit rating, usually BB or lower; as a consequence, it usually has a high yield (Better looking and younger) opposite of investment-grade bond.

[Panamera]

I tried to reason to myself why i fell for a 40 yr old odd. At my age ,i shd be bonkng SYT or my wife only. Wifey is always not home too.

My current beau show me photograph of my wife booking into hotel with 2 men before. I was devastated. COnfronted my wife abt it, but she goes back to the same way a few weeks later. Depressing siah .....and also preesure of work as i am a self employed. I cant say that MY FB is not attractive. In fact , she is a TAI TAI ...as my cousin is well to do. Gave her a huge sum of allowance every month. So she maintain herself quite well physically.

Me and my current beau goes a long way back. From the days at Kampong till now. But we only started bonking 8 months back. Becos we find that we are two lonely souls, share a lot in common. She has given up on the relationship with my cousin long way back. Hang on becos of the fat allowance she get every month from him. As my cousin is a known bisexual by a few make cousins together.......

1st 3 month , was constant bonking .......differnt location that all. Never in my life i know i can bonk so hard and well. "Energizer bunny" is my nick to her.

As for my wife , i just can manage once per night. I think the partner who is bonkingwith you plays quite a important part as well.

Stay tune for more ....

My beau ask me to divorce my wife .......but i am hanging on for my child sake.

Bro, Isnt that called "INCEST"? Do you realize the price you gonna to pay? It will affect your whole clan and will bring shame to your parents and your kids....

You are not playing fire with a match stick, you are playing fire with rocket fuel.....

[ronckw]

Since I started the Banking lesson..

Please allow me continue, to illustrate further:

Government bonds - Parents
Not subject to credit quality ratings. These securities are considered to be of the VERY HIGHEST credit quality.

Investment-Grade bonds - Wife
A bond which is relatively safe, having a high bond rating such as BBB or above.

Junk bonds – WL/FL
A high-risk, non-investment-grade bond with a low credit rating, usually BB or lower; as a consequence, it usually has a high yield (Better looking and younger) opposite of investment-grade bond.


eh...u working in bank ah...hahhaa....good illustration...

Junk bonds...good 1....:D

[Panamera]

eh...u working in bank ah...hahhaa....good illustration...

Junk bonds...good 1....:D

I am just a baker la...Many bank mei mei like to come to my shop to eat my cakes....... :D

[cablesnwires]

I am just a baker la...Many bank mei mei like to come to my shop to eat my cakes....... :D

How can you let them have the cake and eat it too? :D Didn't we are told that we can't have the cakes and eat it too? :D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

I wud agree to hang on for the child's sake.....
Current status wife & husband got her life outside
If they come home and still can fulfill their parental duties, pls do so
Do not leave just becos of personal differences....cos only the kid will suffer.
I was there before, for my kid i hung on...didnt expect anything nor pry into anything, just lived my life outside..........came home and is a good daddy.....
Honestly, this decision, NO REGRETS!
I once left home for almost 2 months....came back, 1st thing broke down on my knees, hugged my kid and cried......nottin else cud touch my heart like my precious.......
We can loose a wife, a parent, but trust me...loosing a child, is HORRIBLE......
Worst, you'll affect the kids brain when they grow up......

[Panamera]

How can you let them have the cake and eat it too? :D Didn't we are told that we can't have the cakes and eat it too? :D

Bros, Letting them "EAT THE CAKE" is a powerful tools on Women..

Want to know why?

I tot you going to China? Next week? :D

[aakumu]

Hi bro,
I can understand that we married non Sing girls because we find them better.
It sad to see the state of the sing women when the men would even consider to marry a WL type instead a sing wife.
That is just sad and wrong.
Are we that weak? We could not even manage our wife, to the point that we view a WL is an option?

My humble two cents.

[congo9]

Bro, Isnt that called "INCEST"? Do you realize the price you gonna to pay? It will affect your whole clan and will bring shame to your parents and your kids....

You are not playing fire with a match stick, you are playing fire with rocket fuel.....

Tried to break off very hard ....but cant. She kept coming back to me. Eventually , my small head take coontrol of the whole situation........

[Jedi]

HOW DO I KNOW?: THAT THIS IS THE ONE?

Check out what you feel.

Love is a decision not just a strong feeling. But how do you look at
all the tings going on your mind and see if this paring is for you?
Follow the list of these questions to assess your feelings;

1. When I am with...... I feel as if I am (smart/stupid, young/old,
beautiful/overweight, worthy/unworthy etc....)

2. When I listen to this man/woman I generally (like/dislike) what
they have to say.

3. After a few hours, I feel with.....that I am (drained/replenished)

4. This person appears to be (loving/unloving, giving/demanding
generous, withdrawn, etc)

5. With this man/woman I can be (my whole self/partial self)

6. We have in common............................................ .....

7. What we don't have in common......................................

8. By observing this person and their words and actions I believe that
he/she is; (capable of intimacy/incapable of intimacy)

9. I will/willnot be able to grow in this relationship.

10. Generally my feelings for this man/woman are (e.g. loving,
confused, fearful, exciting)

Remember, that you are making a probing look at your own feelings and they can change over time. Use the guide to see where you are and test to make your step on a sound footing. This should not be used to find fault with a partner, it is all about your own feelings!

[slider_72]

Bro, Isnt that called "INCEST"? Do you realize the price you gonna to pay? It will affect your whole clan and will bring shame to your parents and your kids....

Bro, I don't think it is incest lah. He is shagging his cousin's wife. By the way, the Women's Charter prohibits marriages between persons within a prohibited degree of relationship. They are listed as follows (I only list the female side hor) ;-

Mother.
Daughter.
Father’s mother.
Mother’s mother.
Son’s daughter.
Daughter’s daughter.
Sister.
Wife’s mother.
Wife’s daughter.
Father’s wife.
Son’s wife.
Father’s father’s wife.
Mother’s father’s wife.
Wife’s father’s mother.
Wife’s mother’s mother.
Wife’s son’s daughter.
Wife’s daughter’s daughter.
Son’s son’s wife.
Daughter’s son’s wife.
Father’s sister.
Mother’s sister.
Brother’s daughter.
Sister’s daughter.

You can't marry your aunty or niece but nothing at law preventing a guy from marrying his cousin, or for that matter, his cousin's ex-wife.

Actually if the cousin and his wife are divorced, and if congo9 is also divorced, is there really a social stigma if congo9 is to marry his cousin's ex-wife? Excellent fodder for the gossip mills though.

[Panamera]

Actually if the cousin and his wife are divorced, and if congo9 is also divorced, is there really a social stigma if congo9 is to marry his cousin's ex-wife? Excellent fodder for the gossip mills though.

Bro slider, Thanks for the clarification :)

Congo9 mentioned they were from same kampong last time, definitely it will be a top gossip subject, and the greatest pressure will come from his family, parents, his relatives and clan..Mind you, we are Asian and this type of affairs will go "Nuclear" among families and is not easily forgiven!

[QQBoy]

Let's get real. Is there a need for you to leave your wife, just because you found a new love? If I think like you, I'll probably have divorced more than 10 times already. It's alright to continue to love your wife, and at the same time, love your mistresses. You have millions of sperms to share around. It's not easy to find a girl that is willing to be your no. 2. You found a gem here.

[iCoPuLaTe]

[Hard to make a decision?
What are you talking, bro?
Do you understand what is an FL? or What is T.S is posting?E][/B]

Bro, the reply somehow convay to that you meant > FL die die cannot marry, its 100% wrong to marry a FL)
(No offence, i might be wrong as is imo)

But, did you see the situation from TS point of view which he is now stuck in?
How do you know the FL is really not a good person/or had changed/or 100% willing to chang for TS/really sacrifiszing herself for TS?
(Many factors that are controlling/swaying TS's mind/logical thinking.)

You and me are not TS, we do not know what had took place,how are their relationship,we can only tel him "No,watever blah blah blah.." We can only help to prevent TS from walking into the path of destruction, but we cannot control him from doing that if he wants to,we also do not know what is TS final decision, even if he choose to marry the FL we also cannot do anything;simply because we are not him(TS).

It a fact that many will say TS cannot/should not divorce wife over FL and i also think that is the correct way.

My reply to him is that>
"As of current, he's stressed over this issue."
Most of our replies can help him this time, but we do not know whether "this type" of situation will happen again or not.
What i want to let him know is to let himself think,let him himself reliese that whether is it Worth it to let go his wife for another female.

If he can get this message into his head, next time if he kanna another FL or FB,he himself can prevent "History"

(Mayb its just that you did not see it from my point of view, but ultimately; most of us are telling TS not to go for it.) And maybe the best way (imo), is not just letting TS know and follow by seeing other's reply, but to let him ponder himself ,fully understand deeply in his own mind on his decision.

I gv an example:
If now you 're stuck in TS situation.The FL super pretty,super rich,gv you the best sex, watever,etc.Then you are stress and go to any on-line forum to seek ideas/advice/help.
Jus by seeing ppl's reply,do you think you want to follow it(there might be ppl giving funny ideas,or simply ask you to get rid of the FL,[you still hv to consider the "feeling/passion" you have for the FL that is making you unclear of your decision]) ;OR, would you prefer to have someone to directly ask you to think for yourself to understand what is it that you want?Whether do you think it is worth it to ditch wife over FL.If you think liao, and know that your wife is still the best as that is the reason for marrying your wife in the 1st place,it may help and thus preventing you from entering another "Delima Situation".

I do not know whether my lousy english can convay my views to subside your anger with your qustion to me.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

When you see someone going to drown, you have 2 choices.
You either lend a hand or do nottin.
YOU DO NOT GIVE THE BASTARD A ROCK AND MAKE HIM SINK FASTER!!!!!!!!!
You do not even suggest to TS to think cos if he could think, he wouldnt be in this current mental state of leaving his wife for a prostitute.
The comparison:
How do you know the FL is really not a good person/or had changed/or 100% willing to change for TS/really sacrificing herself for TS?
Good gals dun become FLs............even if they do change for the better, it'll never be to the mental state of a normal woman before she became a WL.

Another:
The FL super pretty,super rich,gv you the best sex
If she's super rich, why the heck did she become a whore????? Contradict liao

Who cannot understand??? Many have walked through his path and allow me to state my 2cts worth, it's always the same shit...same story...different cast only!

[congo9]

Bro slider, Thanks for the clarification :)

Congo9 mentioned they were from same kampong last time, definitely it will be a top gossip subject, and the greatest pressure will come from his family, parents, his relatives and clan..Mind you, we are Asian and this type of affairs will go "Nuclear" among families and is not easily forgiven!

U are right. Since coming back together from the break. We have pondered through all these questions, if we are to get married. Kids, relative........ etc etc. all hell will break loose. The next most sensible thing to do is to stay under radar for as long. As she is a singkie PR , she still holds on to her Malaysia IC. We have a house there at TAMAN SUTERA. As we are old enough , financially independent ....... , we come to a conslusion that we can be loving as loving hubby and wife emotionally and physically , without the Paper. She also didnt press for marriage at all.

Sometimes all these love love and horny feeling cannot be easily controlled. It just happen that she is my "COUSIN WIFE". No one said that i cant fall for a older woman. She told me that she just want to find someone whom she really love ( vice versa ) , to spend the rest of her life. No more no less, even without marriage. She is willing.

During her marriage to my cousin for the last 23 yrs, everything on the surface is good , but dig a little further, she got condemn for many yrs for not be able to bear kids for the family. Cousin been fooling around ........ with both MAN and woman. She is so devastated. Bear and grind with it. She is also a very traditional woman. But finally gave up. No one in the family sided with her. Quite simply , my cousin bring home a lot of money back home. Mother in law tell her that , it OK for man to fool around. As long as the woman is not brough back home.

I would not say she gave up becos of me ........ frankly speaking, she had secret flings and relationship before. But all just ended less then 3 months or even less. She is very forth coming to me abt her past flings. Cos both of us know the severity of the relationship if it goes out in light.

I am not saying , i am correct either. I know there is a morale issue there. But sometimes we cant control things out here. Just that she entered to my life during one of the toughest time i had. Struggling with business and my marriage. She has given me a lot of emotional suppport throughout. Gave support to each other throughout. She is also quite "CHIO" ( Subtle skin , Fantastic body, well groom) i must say.

When i felt horny abt her , i thought to myself , is it right to HAVE SEX with my COUSIN WIFE ? Is it morale ? As for her , she told me that once she make up her mind abt something she is going to do , she will not give up. After all , how much can she lose after wasting 23 yrs .

[congo9]

Bro, I don't think it is incest lah. He is shagging his cousin's wife. By the way, the Women's Charter prohibits marriages between persons within a prohibited degree of relationship. They are listed as follows (I only list the female side hor) ;-

Mother.
Daughter.
Father’s mother.
Mother’s mother.
Son’s daughter.
Daughter’s daughter.
Sister.
Wife’s mother.
Wife’s daughter.
Father’s wife.
Son’s wife.
Father’s father’s wife.
Mother’s father’s wife.
Wife’s father’s mother.
Wife’s mother’s mother.
Wife’s son’s daughter.
Wife’s daughter’s daughter.
Son’s son’s wife.
Daughter’s son’s wife.
Father’s sister.
Mother’s sister.
Brother’s daughter.
Sister’s daughter.

You can't marry your aunty or niece but nothing at law preventing a guy from marrying his cousin, or for that matter, his cousin's ex-wife.

Actually if the cousin and his wife are divorced, and if congo9 is also divorced, is there really a social stigma if congo9 is to marry his cousin's ex-wife? Excellent fodder for the gossip mills though.

Thanks for helping out with the above explanation. JUst want to share my experience ..... i am useed to visit the sammyboy.com forum (coffee shop talk ) I am not bragging for shaggin my cousin's wife , I know it not right. But sometimes thing just happen. IT LOVE I WANT TO SAY.

As for others here , you can love a FL or marry her. Better follow your heart when it for marriage. But somehow ..... must be wise with your MONEY !

[congo9]

Also all the FL is out for money and cash. They come from poorer part of South East Asia. tHey know the real hard ship without money.

Be careful with your money that all i can say ! Man can lose love but not money.

[Panamera]

I gv an example:

If now you 're stuck in TS situation.The FL super pretty,super rich,gv you the best sex, watever,etc.Then you are stress and go to any on-line forum to seek ideas/advice/help.

Jus by seeing ppl's reply,do you think you want to follow it(there might be ppl giving funny ideas,or simply ask you to get rid of the FL,[you still hv to consider the "feeling/passion" you have for the FL that is making you unclear of your decision]) ;OR, would you prefer to have someone to directly ask you to think for yourself to understand what is it that you want?Whether do you think it is worth it to ditch wife over FL.If you think liao, and know that your wife is still the best as that is the reason for marrying your wife in the 1st place,it may help and thus preventing you from entering another "Delima Situation".

Bro CoPuLaTe,

Do you know who was Cao Cao? Please read this histroy of KC trap...

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/matters-heart/116417-how-kc-wl-without-being-kc-ed-her-12.html

Example 1 - To be frank with you, you are the 2nd person, beside one of my ex-kaki who made above sentance "super rich FL" when he met a FL few years back (now wife). I told him that if the FL is super rich and well connected, then she should be a SL not FL, He refused to listen to me and now he is like a Modern Cao Cao

Example 2 - Yeah, I fully know what you mean that many people give funny ideas, Trust me, I know..Hmmm....:D

SL = Something Else....

[Jedi]

Also all the FL is out for money and cash. They come from poorer part of South East Asia. tHey know the real hard ship without money.

Be careful with your money that all i can say ! Man can lose love but not money.

Bro, money lost we can always be earned back slowly, now its harder dunno when kenna retrenched but love plough in can never be recovered its like water splashing out of the basin. If we can lose love easily :D its not love.

[Jedi]

Example 1 - To be frank with you, you are the 2nd person, beside one of my ex-kaki who made above sentance "super rich FL" when he met a FL few years back (now wife). I told him that if the FL is super rich and well connected, then she should be a SL not FL, He refused to listen to me and now he is like a Modern Cao Cao[/COLOR]



Bro knew a Ex WL who has her own Apt and has investments in other properties, The reason for coming here is TOP coming no $$ to renovate, cannot rent out.
Mine friend is still with her

[aczeta76]

Also all the FL is out for money and cash. They come from poorer part of South East Asia. tHey know the real hard ship without money.

Be careful with your money that all i can say ! Man can lose love but not money.

PRC people are no longer as poor as before liao lah...

Anyway, this love thing is hard to say......hiaz...

[Gaofar]

Hehe.. Seems like the TS of this thread is lost somewhere and the conversation topic kenna hijacked..

Well, with relevance to TS's topic, let me just say that whether you want to divorce your wife for another lady (whether if she's an FL or not is not important to me as we are dealing with a human being, not a name-tag!), please do consider carefully all aspects before you decide. Some marriages are meant to be and some not. However, there are some points worth thinking that it shouldn't lead to divorce (My point-of-view):

[Gaofar]

Hehe.. Seems like the TS of this thread is lost somewhere and the conversation topic kenna hijacked..

Well, with relevance to TS's topic, let me just say that whether you want to divorce your wife for another lady (whether if she's an FL or not is not important to me as we are dealing with a human being, not a name-tag!), please do consider carefully all aspects before you decide. Some marriages are meant to be and some not. However, there are some points worth thinking that it shouldn't lead to divorce (My point-of-view):

(a) If your family life (or your wife for the matter) has been alright to you but it's just that you've met some other individual (be it fate or chance or whatever), it's not worth to upset the balance and cause unnecessary unpleasantness. In summary: Keep hush-hush lah!

(b) If you have kids, that will be ever more the reason for you not to divorce and inflict untold pains to your children. Remember they are the innocent ones...

All the above can only be applied if your wife did not know of your escapades. If she knows already... Well, it'll be an entirely different approach and frankly, that is something no bros here can advise you on as each and every one of us have different situations and reasons, which simply means you have to tread on this path on your own but keeping clear of your purpose for walking down this path...

Bro DYBJ earlier illustrates a scene similar to mine which will reasoned why if you have kids do not divorce: There's a time when I hardly came home for a month and subsequently once when I reached home late at night, I went over to my daughter's room to check on her and tuck her in better. She became awake of my presence and the moment she saw me, she start to hold on to me and cry softly.. Initially I didn't know why she cry and I ask what happen.. Though she did not say a single word, it dawns on me that it is because she have finally sees me and misses me.. Never did I knew that my daughter is that sensitive and sensible (she's only 5.5yo) and I just keep hugging her tight and says "I'm sorry. Daddy's here, daddy's here.."

Would like to post a thread of my "epic-tale" but seriously got to do a bit of rough planning, sketch and writing before I think I'm ready to post it up.. As I say before, everyone has a different story, situation or reason. Please do not be vindictive and just based merely on your morale upholding, blasted any poor guy trying to find resolve or solution to his dilemma. If it's help that the bro needs, it's help he'll get. (Exclude to some idiots though, whom seems to brag so much of their competencies instead of advise... Sigh...) :rolleyes:

[Gaofar]

Hmm?.. Didn't know that I've unwittingly published out my first half of my earlier post while I'm still doctoring it... My bad... :D

[mike1304k]

I agree with Bro DYBJ and Bro Gaofar that family is most important. Sometimes we sign on the dotted line without serious thought and this comes back to haunt us many years later. By that time, we would have kids and so on... But this is the cement of a marriage. Some people think this cement will sink them, but I don't think so. We gotta look back all the time and find out where we went wrong and how we can make things better.

I can tell you, I was more or less snookered into marrying my wife... She came to Sg and told me she had told her parents about us... I was worried as Japanese do not like their own kind to marry other people, especially asians. Some more her family comes from a pretty good class. I asked her if anyone gave her any trouble, and she said no... I said "at least now they know you are going steady with a foreigner"... She told me that she told them that we were getting married... "WTF!!! We only start to go steady and you jump the gun... wanna shotgun me oso don like that mah sister", was my thought, but then I look at her... I saw a beautiful woman who loved me truly and wanted us... not only me or her, to be happy and I said "wat da heck....I love her so marry lor" and now till today, though there have been a great many trials and tribulations... we are still happily married and happy together.

It is how you make things out lah... The grass is always greener on the other side... but it may not be nicer and may have been colored with artificial coloring... Do not forget the melanin incident.... hehehehehe...

I wish the TS strength and luck and wisdom... Do not let your children hate you for a moment of foolishness or weakness.

[xroad]

Perhaps I should have provided a clearer picture in my first post so that you guys have a better understanding before giving comments/opinions.

Let's call the girl "G".
G is a local girl in her early twenties, works as office executive and taking a part-time course in a private school.
As mentioned, I met her when she was working as a FL.
Our age gap is more than 10 yrs.
I'm married with no kids.

Initially I did not expect too much although she is a really pretty girl.
After the session, we just exchange contacts and my thought then was kiv first till i feel like doing her again in future.

G sms me a few times if I want to meet up. I always rejected her as I had no intention of engaging her again so soon although I was thinking of her. But one day I got her sms and since I was not busy with work, I replied I would love to meet her but not for her service, just a casual lunch. She agreed. We went out a few more time after that.

It was then that I got to know G better. To me, G is an independent young lady who does not fancy branded stuffs. She has simple needs and easily contented. I was wondering then why is such a nice girl doing in this line. G's reason is she has family problems and need to repay debts. Of course I knew this is bullshit but I offered to help her to settle. It was more like I was treating G like a younger sister and hoping this will help her to stop this line. I was thinking if this would show her true colour, so be it. We agreed she would have to repay me the money monthly after she finished her part-time course next year.

After that incident, we went out a few more time and our feelings grew for each other. Being with G really is comfortable and happy, she does not request anything from me and is just as happy eating restaurant/hawker food or sharing a simple 7-11 sandwich. Soon we were holding hands, kissing and eventually having sex. G promised me that she would not go back to this line again and I believed her though I never probe further the real reason which made her do it initially. I believe everyone has their secret and if G wants to tell me, she will.

Now, I admit I do visit FL/WL after my marriage but its like 3 times in my entire 4-5 yrs of marriage. I'm not that type who flirts/play around. So this incident has caused me lots of anguish as I find myself torn between G & wife.
I kept asking do I still love my wife? or is it an obligation/responsibility? Is my feeling for G lust? love? out of pity? Is G's feeling for me love? crush? life-jacket who happen to appear at her weakest moment?

I have written too much... need some time to gather my thoughts before continue....

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

[sammyboyfor]

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

Don't waste your time with women, after you've fucked them numerous times, they're all the same.

If you leave your wife and marry this whore, you'll be back to square one in a few years time when a younger, prettier whore shows up.

You should concentrate on wealth creation so you can retire early rather than waste your time with all this lovey dovey nonsense. :rolleyes:

[BKnight]

U are right! Why waste time on the roadside dirty chicken (prostitutes)
They take your money to make their China lao gong happy
They may give you AIDS somemore!

jchongking - you are such a low life, just because you are ugly and cannot afford, you calling them road side dirty chicken...

[etct88]

.... you are such a low life, just because you are ugly and cannot afford, you calling them road side dirty chicken...

Karma.... what goes round, will come round..... must have been hit many a times...... that's why the repetitions!:)

I trust he could be a super good looking guy, but deep inside, for sure is super questionable!!!:p

one minute he question the Boss, next minute he ang kad the Boss' balls??:confused:

no bone air (in Canton) ..........:D

[Panamera]

U are right! Why waste time on the roadside dirty chicken (prostitutes)
They take your money to make their China lao gong happy
They may give you AIDS somemore!

Hey! Hey! Heyyyyyyy...jchongking aka merlion mascot aka 没骨气property agent...Found you here. :D

I know Mother Nature was very Unkind to you but what was done cannot be undone liao....:p BTW, I know it WAS RAINING just now but dont eat snake hor..go put back your Merlion Mascot costume....many tourists today, I received a complaint from the KFC outlet that you did an unimaginative gruesome thing yesterday...Why did you put your didi inside a twister meal??? Is it Out Of Love? :p

[HCKing]

Now, I admit I do visit FL/WL after my marriage but its like 3 times in my entire 4-5 yrs of marriage. I'm not that type who flirts/play around. So this incident has caused me lots of anguish as I find myself torn between G & wife.
I kept asking do I still love my wife? or is it an obligation/responsibility? Is my feeling for G lust? love? out of pity? Is G's feeling for me love? crush? life-jacket who happen to appear at her weakest moment?

I have written too much... need some time to gather my thoughts before continue....

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

i think u r just looking 4 some romance bro, some sparks in yr life, which is understandable after married for a few yrs. which is y there's this term called the '7 yrs itch'. even if u visit FL/WL, its just fark & forget, there's no romancing involved, so even if yr lust is satistied yr heart isnt. i would think its better u keep things this way, as wat sam said, after a few yrs down the road with the new love, everything will go back the same again. so when will it ends?:rolleyes:

[cablesnwires]

jchongking - you are such a low life, just because you are ugly and cannot afford, you calling them road side dirty chicken...

All posts by jchongking had been deleted. Instead of getting Panamera kicked, his ass got kicked. Bwahahaha.... :D

[groo]

...G is a local girl in her early twenties, works as office executive and taking a part-time course in a private school....I met her when she was working as a FL...Our age gap is more than 10 yrs...I'm married with no kids...really pretty girl.....You should ask yourself why you married your wife in the 1st place, since you've only been married for several years. You've look for FLs several times during this short few years of marriage - something wrong? Only you yourself know.

Your age gap with G is more than 10 years. Usually this spells disaster. Of course there are exceptional cases where it has succeeded. But these are EXCEPTIONAL... This is not just urban myth. Studies have been conducted which shows up the facts. ;)

You mentioned she's really pretty. Let me tell you, eventually you'll tire of her looks and like what the Boss said, you'll start looking for another target that is even more Really Pretty. :rolleyes:

So the problem is not your wife or G - it's yourself... :confused:

[Panamera]

I think the reason why older men like us go for younger gals has to do with:

(1) Physical Attration

(2) Good sex

(3) We mistakenly thought that we have the ability to manipulate and control someone younger (most often its the other way round! :rolleyes:)

(4) Younger woman makes us feel younger as well.

Frankly, I honestly think that if there is a 10 year gap between 2 people they can‘t possibly have anything in common! Other than sex!

[DO_YOU_BJ]

What is love????
Why get married in the 1st place????
Does love seem to disappear after several years of marraige?
Does it not feel as "HOT" is it once were?
Does it feel damn shiok when you have new GFE onboard?

Well, if your answer to any of the above is YES, then you have to learn the meaning of life.
After sometime, everything sizzles down, that's where life begins after the WILD NIGHTS are over and baby on board..........
All relationships are the same after a while....it's called sharing a life together then....yes can still be passionate but will not be like last time.

That's called growing old together.....something which people always mistake for "LOST THAT LOVING FEELING!"

[groo]

...Does love seem to disappear after several years of marraige?...Does it not feel as "HOT" is it once were?...if your answer to any of the above is YES, then you have to learn the meaning of life....After sometime, everything sizzles down,....All relationships are the same after a while....it's called sharing a life together then....can still be passionate but will not be like last time....That's called growing old together.....people always mistake for "LOST THAT LOVING FEELING!"Guess I'm 1 of the lucky bastards... after 20 years of marriage, my wifey still loves me very much.... I know and I appreciate it very much... :D:p:)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Do not be mistaken of what i wrote above.
You if married for so long will know exactly what i mean.

[slider_72]

You should ask yourself why you married your wife in the 1st place, since you've only been married for several years. You've look for FLs several times during this short few years of marriage - something wrong? Only you yourself know.

So the problem is not your wife or G - it's yourself... :confused:

Looking for FL in itself is not wrong. Everyday eat rice also sian right? Sometimes must eat some pasta. :D If whoring is restricted to single, divorced or about to be divorced men, then all the WLs eat shit liao.

But if TS is looking to the FL as a means of escape, then something is wrong liao. Seems like TS 人在曹营，心在汉。 There is no need to be torn between wife and FL. Wife must always take pride of place. FL is merely a side dish, entertainment, distraction, hobby, whatever you wish to call it.

[Kate]

go back to your wife

[congo9]

Looking for FL in itself is not wrong. Everyday eat rice also sian right? Sometimes must eat some pasta. :D If whoring is restricted to single, divorced or about to be divorced men, then all the WLs eat shit liao.

But if TS is looking to the FL as a means of escape, then something is wrong liao. Seems like TS 人在曹营，心在汉。 There is no need to be torn between wife and FL. Wife must always take pride of place. FL is merely a side dish, entertainment, distraction, hobby, whatever you wish to call it.

But if wife is not around all the time and you got a LAU CHIO BU hot on your heels , which has what happen to me, eventually , man will cave in !

I always feel happier with her then my wife because she can communicate very well with me, not mentioning sex !

Once ......we attended a wedding reception together in Fort canning at night. I sms her and tell her that i find a remote enough place to MAKE OUT ....gosh ........ it the most thrilling sex i have in life. My wife is there to attned the wedding as well. She knows my wife and my wife knows her. her husband is there also.

Gosh ......., i still cant forget till now.

[xroad]

It has been awhile since I am with this girl.
Though we had some disagreement now and then, I really enjoyed the time spent with her.

I trust she had stop her FL and we even talked about our future when she finished her part time course.
Sex with her is great and I did her raw and cum inside a few times.

Things seems to be going well so far and I do hope it will last.

[mike1304k]

Bro TS,

I do not know how old you are and or what is your relationship with your wife now. I am also not here stand on a moral high horse and proclaim the sanctity of a marriage.

Lets look at this from a few angles.

1) You are married. But on one of your forrays, you found a gal who you feel you love.

My question to you is, is it really love? Or is it the feeling of being loved and having someone love you? Please consider these questions very carefully.

Why would you leave your wife because of her? What does she have or can she bring into your life that your wife cannot bring? Perhaps you were forced into marriage.. or perhaps your love for your wife died... or perhaps you just found someone better.

2) You are doing her raw and shot into her a few times.
Do you know the world of trouble you are inviting? Lets not talk about the diseases and so on. But what if she claims to be pregnant with your child? Are you willing to drop everything you have now and be with her? Do not forget.... it could all be a great big KC trap.

3) You are helping her to get a normal life.
Bro, I applaud you for that and really wish you and her luck in this. But then like I said before, what happens if she is laying a great big trap? Are you willing to lose it all?

The rules of the game are simple for us married people. Play, and forget. No emotions. The moment emotions come in, the moment "love" comes in, we have to consider whether what we can potentially lose in going with the WL, FL against just calling it quits. I am not saying that there no WL or Fl who can become better wives than our own. But what are the chances of that. Also can you bear the stigmata of your future? Even if you are lucky enough to get away with a clean and cheap divorce, your wife and family can and will always laugh at the loser who chose a whore. There will be guys who will say that they slept with your present wife or ex wife... can you take it? The future is usually bleak for such a pairing. But I have seen it work out. The problem is, whether you have the strength? She may not want anything now... may even just want to be in the dark... but if anything happens... how? Or if she suddenly decides to call it quits and she has found another love. Will you come back her and cry that you have been KC'd?

Just my personal view lah... you have to weigh all the variables and come to a decision by yourself.

[newbadass]

Perhaps I should have provided a clearer picture in my first post so that you guys have a better understanding before giving comments/opinions..

Yes, I can see it clearly now.
You're in this situation because you tried to be a hero. Typical Singapore chee hong.

Don't want to fuck, still meet for lunch.
Meet for lunch, must ask stupid questions like "why be an FL"?
People tell you why liao, must offer to help. And etc and etc.

Frankly, you should leave your wife for this FL because I don't think your wife has done anything to deserve such a moron as you for her husband.

[colins]

Yes, I can see it clearly now.
You're in this situation because you tried to be a hero. Typical Singapore chee hong.

Don't want to fuck, still meet for lunch.
Meet for lunch, must ask stupid questions like "why be an FL"?
People tell you why liao, must offer to help. And etc and etc.

Frankly, you should leave your wife for this FL because I don't think your wife has done anything to deserve such a moron as you for her husband.

Really have to agree with your last sentence. Like no need to bring him back liao, he is already right there where he belongs. It is pride, bro. Hero's pride.

[mike1304k]

What the seniors say here is true Bro TS. You can help someone, but that does not mean you have to fuck them. And like I said.... doing it RAW is insane? Perhaps you are already looking for a reason to leav your wife, but if that is not the case, you better be ready to do so anyway. Because when the shit hits the fan.... I will not want to be anywhere near you.... Either or...

Like I mentioned in my previous post... I am not here to preach, but you are putting yourself in a situation that is not only dangerous, but really quite stupid. Are you ready for it?

Personally, I have a local gal. Who is down at the present moment. I so badly wanna F her too.... but I will not as it will open up a can of worms I cannot handle. Now they will say that they don mind being in the dark or something like dat, but wen push comes to shove and a baby is made... we shall see who is going to be in the dark....

[Panamera]

Now they will say that they don mind being in the dark or something like dat, but wen push comes to shove and a baby is made... we shall see who is going to be in the dark....

They want the dark tunnel together with the light at the end of that tunnel....:D

Are you afraid of the dark?? wahahahahaha

Hmm...this remind me of a stout advertisement...

[colins]

Once you have the emotional ties with a girl, you will seal up the ties into a formalised relationship once you bed her. You can tarik here or there before sex but if you never state the terms, or she never proclaimed it is ok with bed part to have absolutely zero commitment, you are there under her control liao.

Like mike said, bedding a girl who is in relationship with you tends to make you the owner to her problems since the relationship is no formalised. Thats why some KC traps involves fast & furious sex action, after that she will work on you on those unsaid, undeclared, grey area terms and conditions. After sex, you need to go thru a huge guilt trip to extricate yourself, which is very hard cos you already freely 'love' her and is automatically in charge of her welfare. Means, cannot run liao la might as well make the best of it, then divorce wife, disown children, disown parents, breakaway from friends...etc. In the end, of cos, sex is gooooood. As if sex is the only reality on earth for him, making his life objective to pro-create one new generation or some shit.

But talk is talk, talk is cheap. This kinda case, see action is enough. Words are just another veil to hide what has to be hidden. The reverse is usually true.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Another Moron who gave his soul to the devil at the expense of his ENTIRE FAMILY!!!
Also good la, a release for his spouse from having a looser husband and also, he finally found his place on this earth....ETERNAL DARKNESS & PAIN!
Well done and be reminded, when the day comes, pls change nick to come here and KPKB else 1st one to F u silly & have duck season on u WILL BE ME!

[NewandLost]

Hi bros,

Been married for few years and do cheong once awhile but always follow the sop of fuck & forget.

But last year I engaged a FL and never did I expect it would turned my life upside down.....
Initially, it was just the usual transaction, but we exchanged contacts as she wanted to skip her okt should I wish to engage her again next time.

To cut the story short, I met up with her few more times, got to know her better and found myself fallen for her.... she also confessed that she has feeling for me and promised to quit FL. Divorce did came to my mind. But she told me she is willing to be in the dark and do not wish to break up my marriage.

I am really confused now. Everyday I go home to my wife pretending that I still love her but thinking of someone in my heart.
I believe she has quit FL for good but there are still issues between us. I do not know if I should get a divorce and be with her or just treat this as an affair/FB relationship.

Does any bros here have similar experiences?
Please share or suggest what I should do. :confused:

you took the dark path. risking lost of marraige, respect of your kids, your peers at the office, your friends, your finances, your parents and relatives including your inlaws. in the end you could be homeless and the gal is gone. i think you better come back to reality. what did your wife and kids do to you for you to deserve this? you broke the vows of your marragie. seems you are directionless coming to this board for validation. you think people here will say sure lose all to get this girl? im saying you have lost touch with reality.

[Panamera]

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

xroad, think you and below T.S can become best of friends and discuss together

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/127043-have-you-ever-love-fl.html#post3691632

[ManInCheong]

Love...is a legend to me. Anyway...if you wanna divorced your wife over a FL...
Bro...WAKE UP!!!

But if your single in the first place and planning to stay oversea (somewhere nobody know you and your FL) there's nothing wrong or bad about it. Unless your FL also do FL there la...:)

[HCKing]

Now, I admit I do visit FL/WL after my marriage but its like 3 times in my entire 4-5 yrs of marriage. I'm not that type who flirts/play around. So this incident has caused me lots of anguish as I find myself torn between G & wife.
I kept asking do I still love my wife? or is it an obligation/responsibility? Is my feeling for G lust? love? out of pity? Is G's feeling for me love? crush? life-jacket who happen to appear at her weakest moment?

I have written too much... need some time to gather my thoughts before continue....

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

i think u r just looking 4 some romance bro, some sparks in yr life, which is understandable after married for a few yrs. which is y there's this term called the '7 yrs itch'. even if u visit FL/WL, its just fark & forget, there's no romancing involved, so even if yr lust is satistied yr heart isnt. i would think its better u keep things this way, as wat sam said, after a few yrs down the road with the new love, everything will go back the same again. so when will it ends?:rolleyes:

like wat i have posted previously bro, i think u r after some romance after years of marriage and may oredi had enough of the problems marriage life has to offer. so in this case, this single, uncommitted, young, woes-free and gd sex provider Ms G seems to be the angel to your rescue or the answer to the hidden question which has been troubling u in yr mind - to stay or to get the hell out of it? like wat bro mike has said, Ms G 's role is likely to be an excuse for u to get out and run away, if it's not Ms G, it could be any other Ms A or B. dont 4get bro, u see her nw as a care-free young girl. 10 yrs down the road, do u think she will still be the same girl as nw? r u able to accept her changes in mentality, maturity, looks and attitude towards sex by then?

bro TS i suggest u check out this movie 17 again which is currently showing in cinemas. it may helps to answer some of your questions posted.

[funnyz]

Maybe now you guys can share with me what do you think of this.

Brother, Let me share with my story and see if it makes sense to you.

Exactly like you, I used to have a FL as a girlfriend because I'm very lonely in an overseas posting (same shit, different asshole). Me too skipped the OKT and constantly meeting and bonking her on a regular basis. Started to pity her based on superficial reasons like good character but sad life, hope to help her etc.. (it's just reasons to make myself noble)

But the difference between you and I is that at the back of my head I constantly remind myself I got a wife and family to return to and waiting for me. Once the novetly of having sex with someone fresh is gone. You will go back to square 1. Why is that so? We started to have quarrels for no reasons, trivia matters etc just like any other couple on the street.

The thing about FLs is that they need securities in the mould of emotional and financial sense among other things. First, you will start to burn your pockets (dating, hotels, short holidays all cost money isn't it?). Next, what they could earn as a FL is probably much more than you can give. But in the event you are on a super-scale salary range, the few thousands dollars could really put to better use (if you can afford to give her that, of course).

I gave her an allowance (a substantial amount). She then gave up her trade to be full time with me. Wrong move! When she started to move in and 2 relatively unknown persons stay together, it becomes messy. I'm abit lucky, I was on an expat package, was not burned badly (that doesn't mean there is no damage). My relationship with my wife deteriorate, due to my new companion (shorter talktime etc) despite my resolution and committment to my wife. I asked myself if these are what I really wanted.

No! I can live better without all these heartaches and headaches. Started to hatch a perfect plan for the break-up. The final straw for her was when I returned home late reeking of alcohol smell and perfume one fine day. No woman, FL or no FL can take that. She walked out of my apartment the next day with a bit of drama. But i orchestrated the show so that it looks like she walking out on me. Cool. No need to pay for any goodbye packages.

Immediately changed my apartment and handphone number. All along, i was careful not to let her handle or see any documents with my company address, home address, personal etc.

Now the heart-breaking part comes. Not long after the break-up, when I reached the arrival hall in my country of residence after my overseas posting ended, my wife (with my unborn kid then) and 2 other lovely children were waving at me with joy and I could see tears in my youngest son's eyes. The part where my legs turned jelly was when my eldest daughter (about 3 years old then) said to me: "Daddy happy, Mummy happy, brother happy, baby happy and me happy. I have never looked back since.

The moral of the story is why risk it all for a moment of passion? There are better things in life to acheive rather than woman conquest. I have learned my lessons well and I'm lucky to keep my family intact. Beauty never last, but family ties do. Hope you will make an informed decision soon!

Good Luck!