Wives and Lovers...Steps to Happiness or Unhappiness?

[Panamera]

Dear All Good Bros,

Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.

It is said that wives make fewer demands than mistresses! It is also said that they are insecure...which makes them peevish and selfish in their demands!

Mistresses don't see husbands at holiday times! But they are usually given more expensive gifts!

Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?

Are such relationships always doomed to fail?

Is it worth having a secret lover?

What do you think? :D

[ekemono]

One mountain cannot hide two tiger

[FL Lover]

bro,

From my experience, answer is VERY VERY DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN TWO..

Lover usually will demand more from you in terms of $$ and attentions. As a husband, you have to give priority to your family needs first. If you want to have a lover, then make sure you are able to support 2 of them. Not easy though.

Another thing is that, a lover will not remain your 3rd party forever. She also want to be your OFFICIAL OC too... when that time comes, then you have to decide loh...

[kiko]

Bro , now i come to answer your questions. because your questions very interesting! You post these questions

1) Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?

2) Are such relationships always doomed to fail?

3) Is it worth having a secret lover?

Answer 1): No way, i feel as a man should be faithful to his wife at all times, ok as brothers we cheong ktv , i dont think we should go into kc thing, play is play , we must know when to put it to a stop. We give tips to the ktv gal, once we walk out of the ktv door, everything has to be stop.

Answer 2): If your wife found out if have a PRC lover with u, dead she sure ask for divorced . Ask for divorced , children how.. if children is still young, u want the children without dad or mum as process of growing up. The answer is you shouldn't have a PRC lover or mistress beside your wife.

Answer 3): The answer is no , why want to do such a thing , dont u love your wife. Before u want to have a secret lover , u have to ask yourself do u love your wife and children . If answer is Yes, u shouldnt have a secret lover.

In my opinion, if i am marry , my wife is the one i love her than anything else. The idea is to be a good husband and a good family man to my wife and children. Bring my wife and children for holidays every December. And i feel it is good to hug your wife and kiss her, after a hard stress work . I will everyday drive and fetch my wife after work , have a good dinner.

Then i say to my wife “DEAR , DEEP INSIDE MY HEART, I LOVE YOU , MY LOVE FOR YOU IS EVERLASTING. I SWEAR I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, AND NEVER SHALL WE BE APART!

[cablesnwires]

Where are you bro DYBJ? :D

There are more people with wife + mistress than what we think. We live in the real world.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

In my opinion, if i am marry , my wife is the one i love her than anything else. The idea is to be a good husband and a good family man to my wife and children. Bring my wife and children for holidays every December. And i feel it is good to hug your wife and kiss her, after a hard stress work . I will everyday drive and fetch my wife after work , have a good dinner.

Then i say to my wife “DEAR , DEEP INSIDE MY HEART, I LOVE YOU , MY LOVE FOR YOU IS EVERLASTING. I SWEAR I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, AND NEVER SHALL WE BE APART!

Dear Single & Unmarried boy,
Dun tok so much......really in lala land man u......
Wait till you get married and then come back n comment
The world is not as you see it is....
Yes u will not understand it now, but once you get married....if you ever cud that is....you'll slap yourself for ever saying such stupid stuffs!!!!!

Money back guarantee on my prediction to you!

[kiko]

Bro DO_YOU_BJ :

I dont understand, why u feel that way?:confused:

Dont u agreed with me that as a married man , we are suppose to love our wife and take care of the family. First of all , be a good family man . Be responsible to your wife and take good care of her and the children .

I will always remember our wedding date (Adversary). I bring my wife to a romantic dinner hotel. I buy her a ring , put it on for her, and say Dear , today is our wedding adversary, i love you!:cool:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.
True and not true. It still happens everywhere only thing is not so widely spoken about in the open like the good old days.

It is said that wives make fewer demands than mistresses! It is also said that they are insecure...which makes them peevish and selfish in their demands!
This statement must be very careful. An insecure wife means an insecure personality.....even if you're Jesus or Buddha, you marry such a woman, watever you do, they'll still feel insecure.

Mistresses don't see husbands at holiday times! But they are usually given more expensive gifts!
Mistresses......a very common term but also has many meanings.....
Types of mistresses:
1) The type that you BAO and keep to fuck
2) The type that is lazy to find her own money thus total submission to your needs to fill her stomach
3) They type that you meet after you get married and want to or wish she was your wife but you couldnt marry cos you already have a wife and kid
4) The type that is TRULY IN LOVE wif you and has no motive to destroy your current family and IS WILLING to be in second or 3rd place without any DEMANDS from you, other than keeping her company during your free time
5) Totally financially independent women who dun need a fucking cent from you but just wants your love and attention as & when you're available.

As for the expensive gift part, guess its a money transaction already to shut her fucking mouth, so dun really consider that as a mistress...more like a kept woman....this is how they differ from one another

Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?
Of cos they can, its all in time management.........
Everything can be managed......just that many dun know how to that's all

Are such relationships always doomed to fail?
Answer is NO! Again, depends on the diff distinctions of the kind of relationship that was mentioned above and what is their sole purpose to wanting to be with you in the 1st place.
If it was only due to money, then there was never a relationship to begin with, it was just pure Rental

Is it worth having a secret lover?
Ah...this is a clear question.
Yes, of cos, Y not?
You can do things and fulfill your fantasies with your lover that you never even dare try on your wife....................
Also, if your wife makes you toolan, you got your lover to turn to.......
If lover make you toolan, return back to wife vice versa

What do you think? :D
I think i answered you liaozzzzzzzz:D

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro DO_YOU_BJ :

I dont understand, why u feel that way?:confused:

Dont u agreed with me that as a married man , we are suppose to love our wife and take care of the family. First of all , be a good family man . Be responsible to your wife and take good care of her and the children .

I will always remember our wedding date (Adversary). I bring my wife to a romantic dinner hotel. I buy her a ring , put it on for her, and say Dear , today is our wedding adversary, i love you!:cool:

I already told you that you wouldnt understand.
Tell you what, keep this question open just for you.
After you get married and have kids, then come ask me again......
Else very hard to explain to you...like telling a VIRGIN the pleasure of AJ...........i dun expect you to understand this either lol

[kiko]

Bro, Bro DO_YOU_BJ: I want to know the answer , faster tell me can ..:confused:

[Panamera]

Sorry, I forgot to add this line when I started this thread..

For Mature Audience Only

[kiko]

Bro Panamera: I hope u be a good family man to your OC (wife) and a good father to your children !

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Sorry, I forgot to add this line when I started this thread..

For Mature Audience Only

U shud have said the requirements of this post from the start..........
See, now you've invited a pest to come buzzing into everyone's ears liao lol

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro Panamera: I hope u be a good family man to your OC (wife) and a good father to your children !

I hope you can find someone dumb enuff to marry you!
All the best & good luck...u gonna need it, trust me!

[Panamera]

Bro, Bro DO_YOU_BJ: I want to know the answer , faster tell me can ..:confused:

Kiko, Here’s the answer you seek:

Idea is something you fancy, your modes of thought expressed in words and images. Something you imagine.

Reality is real, an actual existence that which is not imagination, something that exists objectively, a fact and is not merely an idea. Reality, many times do not function the way that you wish or pray it would function.

When you are older, you will know, Understand? 明白吗?

[kiko]

Bro Panamera: i dont understand what u say,, all i know is to be faithful and to love my wife or gal friend. If married be a good husband and father to your own children!

That is what my mum always tell me, be a good family man !:)

[HCKing]

WOW, what bro DYBJ has posted is indeed insightful and straight to the point. i would agree that one can have both wife and lover at the same time but their roles must be defined, a lover will remains a lover, no matter wat, and should never challenge the wife's role, if not sooner or later things will get out of hands and alot of fire fighting will be needed.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

WOW, what bro DYBJ has posted is indeed insightful and straight to the point. i would agree that one can have both wife and lover at the same time but their roles must be defined, a lover will remains a lover, no matter wat, and should never challenge the wife's role, if not sooner or later things will get out of hands and alot of fire fighting will be needed.

Yes my brudder.
Always remember, you own your stable.
You alone add your horses......
Never give false hopes and promises from the start
Always define their roles and responsibilities from the start and also, fulfill what you promised
In the end, no one can say that you cheat them etc etc or that you promise this n that but never deliver
They in return must fulfill their role too...thus this will determine whether they're just lovers or mistresses.
Remember, lovers = for fucks sake + feelings only
Mistress = wife already through thick n thin
Also, occasionally, remind them of their place in your life, else, you end up being controlled by your horses.

Again, honesty plays a big part in this additional life of men.
Many men fail at this dept....
Why?
From the start, they lie about their financial power, their marital status etc..........in the end, it'll all catch up with him........
We all know people who lie about marital status to get the gal......
i.e getting divorced very soon or not married at all when they got 3 kids at home lol
Wage earner and telling the gals he's some big towkay!

If he's lucky, he can run and that's it...the lover just disappears
But then again, 99.99% the lovers wont let this thing slide.....
That's when he's get the worst nightmare of his life....ending in great possibility of loosing everything...even his wife and family.....and forever, be a laughing stock to his friends and relatives........
People like these, will usually fade away & be the talk of the town for many many years after and forever live a ridiculed life with no face to even appear again.

So play the cards rite from the start.
Like i always preach, whatever we do in life everyday, every decision process we encounter countless times a day, we have always got 2 choices.
Which one we choose, will determine the end......
Cos every beginning will definitely have an end.

Who am I to say such things?????

I have 3 and they all stay under 1 roof bwahahahaha
Read my siggy hehehe

[kiko]

Bro DO_YOU_BJ: I agreed with u, wife is through thick and thin. There's one point i dont agreed with u, u say lover is for fuck and feeling.

To me is if i really love my wife , i will never leave any feeling to any other gals and for fuck, my principle is to love my wife and have sex with her only.

If u are married, having sex and leaving feeling to other gals is considered adultery , this is not right!:rolleyes:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro DO_YOU_BJ: I agreed with u, wife is through thick and thin. There's one point i dont agreed with u, u say lover is for fuck and feeling.

To me is if i really love my wife , i will never leave any feeling to any other gals and for fuck, my principle is to love my wife and have sex with her only.

If u are married, having sex and leaving feeling to other gals is considered adultery , this is not right!:rolleyes:

For you, get married 1st then tok.
If not, just shuddup n read.....
Cos you're just building castles in the air n have NO positive contribution to this thread!
Just a irritating mozzy buzzing around in this thread!!!!!!!:mad:

[FookKew]

For you, get married 1st then tok.
If not, just shuddup n read.....
Cos you're just building castles in the air n have NO positive contribution to this thread!
Just a irritating mozzy buzzing around in this thread!!!!!!!:mad:

Bro DYBJ,

Now u finally understand the power of KIKO....bwahahaha.

He is the most irratating and no postive contribution fellow in the SBF.

Bro i like ur comment in here really straight to the point. kudos!:)

[HCKing]

Bro Panamera: i dont understand what u say,, all i know is to be faithful and to love my wife or gal friend. If married be a good husband and father to your own children!

That is what my mum always tell me, be a good family man !:)

then shouldnt u be looking for a decent girl to be yr wife and give her all yr faithfulness and love instead of fooling around with different girls in BS ktv?:rolleyes:

[colins]

I think the pre-requisites for bros to qualify to answer those questions should be:

1. Married for a few years
2. Experiencing mid life crisis or something of that magnitude
3. Met someone attractive and attracted to her before
4. Probably having a lover, FB or girlfriend
5. Do not count cheonging ktv or sleeping with FL as extra-marital affairs
6. Strong self opinion without ten-year series answers

Ok I dun qualify.;)

[goodpartner]

I prefer to manage a situation where I have a few "lovers" (at different place), no wive (at least not legal, see "lovers"), but lots of kids :D

Bottom line is to find happiness (according to my own measure) - ie. Enjoy all the emo thingy of loving and being loved (especially), great & variety of sex with true GFE, a sense of satisfaction in "providing for the families" as a man, and still not be bored when old (with kids around).

Yes, keyword is to "manage" the above carefully so as to have the best of a few worlds. It could be that it's not a secret among the lovers and everyone is happy or at least not mad, just need to find the right ones.

No, I'm not talking about leading a normal life with a life-time partner (wife) and definitely not legal marriage life.

Lidat, got off-topic or not? :p

[slider_72]

I think the pre-requisites for bros to qualify to answer those questions should be:

1. Married for a few years
2. Experiencing mid life crisis or something of that magnitude
3. Met someone attractive and attracted to her before
4. Probably having a lover, FB or girlfriend
5. Do not count cheonging ktv or sleeping with FL as extra-marital affairs
6. Strong self opinion without ten-year series answers

Ok I dun qualify.;)

Oh shucks!!! I don't meet your criteria for point no. 4. So I guess I also don't qualify.

[Panamera]

Oh shucks!!! I don't meet your criteria for point no. 4. So I guess I also don't qualify.

Wahaha, Bro, out of 6 points, you hit 5 pointers..Highly qualify...

Bro DO_U_BJ, I think hit the roof, right up to 10 pointers, if Bro colins make another 4 more points.....hahahaha..

[congo9]

Depends on what kind of wives and lover you have. Then you can define your own situation.

For me , my wife super bo chiap ..... she left the kids to me. So i spent a lot of time with kids . My lover also join me to spend time with kids. BAsically, we are still together becos of kids.

For me , my lover is super. she knows that we cant be together officially. But she willingly go underground. Cos she knows she cant get a divocred herself too. WIll be very messy if any one of our family member find out we are actually lovers. It will be scandulous. For me, my lover is a independent lady , she knows what i can do for her and what i cant. She is also financially independent then most of the ladies out there. She actually don need someone to take care of her financially. That why having mature lady as a lover is better then getting all the XIAO MEI MEI. It has it own merit. They are independent , secure and best of all , once they start to commit , they will be ALL THE WAYS YOURS !

Last few months , i initiate a break up. Becos i felt that it is better for her to get another man who can commit and start another family with her. I told what i cant and what i can do for her and what our future hold. But in the end , we got back together again. Just cant break up. In the end , she become more determine to keep our relationship going.

[pewpew]

Dear Single & Unmarried boy,
Dun tok so much......really in lala land man u......
Wait till you get married and then come back n comment
The world is not as you see it is....
Yes u will not understand it now, but once you get married....if you ever cud that is....you'll slap yourself for ever saying such stupid stuffs!!!!!

Money back guarantee on my prediction to you!

How about those that got married, then divorced? Which cat they belongs to? :D

[congo9]

Blank page ! Startt as new !

[BoLiang]

I have 3 and they all stay under 1 roof bwahahahaha
Read my siggy hehehe

I was about to ask if all your women knew of each other until i read this. Salute Sir! You could probably pen a novel on how you manage to achieve that. Wei Xiao Bao is my fav char...and you are probably the Wei Xiao Bao in live..haha

[DO_YOU_BJ]

How about those that got married, then divorced? Which cat they belongs to? :D

What do you think?

[xyz1001]

I think the pre-requisites for bros to qualify to answer those questions should be:

1. Married for a few years
2. Experiencing mid life crisis or something of that magnitude
3. Met someone attractive and attracted to her before
4. Probably having a lover, FB or girlfriend
5. Do not count cheonging ktv or sleeping with FL as extra-marital affairs
6. Strong self opinion without ten-year series answers

Ok I dun qualify.;)

Criteria 4 should be amended coz lovers, girlfriends have expiry dates :p

Oh shucks!!! I don't meet your criteria for point no. 4. So I guess I also don't qualify.

I also failed criteria 4. haha.

[colins]

Bros....mai ahni kuan leh, I said 'probably' for criteria 4 liaos.

And plsssssss, if you guys haven't got before, then something is wrong with my ears. 麦给校 ok. ;)

[slider_72]

Bros....mai ahni kuan leh, I said 'probably' for criteria 4 liaos.

And plsssssss, if you guys haven't got before, then something is wrong with my ears. 麦给校 ok. ;)

Bro, we not 给校 lei.

Your criteria 4 said "having a lover, FB or girlfriend". It is present continuous tense lei, meaning now having one. If it is amended to read as "have had and/or having and/or about to have a lover, FB or girlfriend", then maybe I can qualify liao. :D

[colins]

Ok since I wrote it, I change it.

'Probably' changed to 'Had/Currently having a lover, FB or girlfriend'.

Now 请发表! ;)

[Panamera]

Bro Colins, pre-requisites criteria for 1,2 and 5 points I cannot meet.

But since school days when young, I knew I would want to have a mistress or rather something inside me knows that I will have many lovers...Not that I feel that 1 wife is not enough but somehow..... (please read my signature) When asked by elders and friends on when I would want to get married, my answer was (still is) "can I have a mistress before a wife?"....my favourite song was "To All The Girls I've Loved Before" by Julio Iglesias and Willie Nelson..That's why I started this thread..hehe..

[colins]

Ok I surrender, lets all post till our heart's content. Fuck the criteria. ;)

[Panamera]

Ok I surrender, lets all post till our heart's content. Fuck the criteria. ;)

Sorry Bro Colins, Sorry...Your criteria are good pointers..We continue to use them as a benchmark...think it be great to check how many bros here can meet all and which not!:D

[colins]

Dun be silly bro, all I was trying to do was to cut off kiko and his dream marriage. ;)

[Panamera]

Dun be silly bro, all I was trying to do was to cut off kiko and his dream marriage. ;)

I suspect he reincarnated into "Chengdu dog" tailing Bro Slider_72 now...

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/matters-heart/111516-prc-mms-ask-me-10.html

[casannova03]

Bro DYBJ:

Wuld you say that in order to even think of having A mistress, You would have to be financially sound in the very first place?

My View:

My wife knows i go chionging and have been to KTVs and the naught. I know she cares when she gets jealous and reminded me that she's ready to leave me if she suspects anything more than fooling around. However, she recently drop a hint that if i were ever to have another woman besides her, I should think of getting my financial ability up to the mark first! (cos i am not doing too well recently:o)

This made me ponder:

So if I were to be able to have the financial ability to take care of my wife and my family and have loads of surpluses, would it then be "more allowable " in the eyes of our CO?:rolleyes:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro DYBJ:

Wuld you say that in order to even think of having A mistress, You would have to be financially sound in the very first place?

Yes and no.
Read my requirements on mistresses.
The kept type and the financially independent type
If you feel a mistress is something you need to have because of $$$$$, then that, to me is not really a mistress.
Like i also said, you're just paying rent!

[sneixd]

Honesty and Chauvanism is all you need.
Plus hitting her Hot Spot physically and emotionally..
and of cos a bit of confident lies..

Cant say dont lie completely.
Just lie with a truth attached to it.
And mix it with feelings.

I managed to convince 3 of my bunnies not to probe the marriage issue,
and remain as lover, no. 1 and no. 2, etc.

So, I dont qualify Point 1!

P/S: conservatively, i say always tell the truth, then put in 1/10 of lies.. e.g. U are the BEST, dont compare, U cant be compared.. blah blah.. things she like to hear which makes her feel so special to You! QED

[elth]

1) Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?

I think this is possible, the man must be financial super stable to support both side, but if the lover is financial stable and can support herself the guy will not be so stress about money. (this only valid if both lover and man have real feelings else the lover only want the man' $$$)

2) Are such relationships always doomed to fail?
not necessary, I have known friends maintain it very well for years

3) Is it worth having a secret lover?
That depends, sometime love can become a responsibility. if lover can accept a underground relationship becos she love you, the man will sure will have feeling for her. Some bros might felt it not good to cheat on your wife but I think it really fate that some man really have 2 lovers...1 wife 1 mistress

What do you think?
no matter how many lovers a man have... he should be responsible... got home remember to go home, got bills remember to pay. Best not to hurt anyone of them

The above is I heard views from my seniors frens who is married or have been through these... also just my point of view. :)

[ronckw]

I think the pre-requisites for bros to qualify to answer those questions should be:

1. Married for a few years
2. Experiencing mid life crisis or something of that magnitude
3. Met someone attractive and attracted to her before
4. Probably having a lover, FB or girlfriend
5. Do not count cheonging ktv or sleeping with FL as extra-marital affairs
6. Strong self opinion without ten-year series answers

Ok I dun qualify.;)

Hi brudders....i have been a silent reader of this particular folder for quite some years as i have been had a few "lovers" (one @ a time, wheather be it WL or FB) & this is folder is a source of reminder for me not to go off track in terms of emotions.....

As such, reading so much i would like to give some pointers to this discussion.

To ans the pre-requisites,

1) I am married for 7 years....(7 years itch)?
2) Mid life crisis....shd be some time happening now? i guess...
3) Met many attractive ppl & was attracted both ways....
4) Not counting "transactional" affairs....
5) I do have some opinion but might be what you guys already know at the back of your brain....

Bro Kiko....

to a certain extent i do agree with bro DYBJ......you would need to get married & go through married life before you are able to say how much u love your wife or wat you would do for her.....

Once ur in that commitment...its really really a different story from when 2 ppl were dating....even worse when you have kids.....

Bro DYBJ....

Bro Kiko has a point to love our wives to a certain extent & i gotto give him credit to have a postive attitude towards marriage. Some ppl are just simply afraid of commitment.....

To each his own has their points but the fact that life is not a simple ride...it has ups & downs...so the same goes for marriage....it has more ppl in the ride(wife & kids) so when it goes up....all are happy togeter...but when it goes down.....the load is so much harder...

I know that i may be considered a noob but just an honest point of view of what is felt deep in my heart...

I do love my wife & will still do...but sometimes...its good to taste meat that are outside to eventually find out that maybe ur wife is still better....(might not be the case for all....but at least to me....)

Just some food for thought.....

Life sux...so y complain...look forward....& live it....:)

[BKnight]

Bro Roncwk, Good post but err..............................please save yourself some trouble..please leave that kiko kid out of this, insects see the world very differently to us. Each eye of an insect is like a lot of eyes all stuck together, called compound eyes and insects also have good tympanal organs
to hear sounds, I bet now he should receive some signal and is rushing to the nearest toilet hole to transform into a Super Bug !!! You shall be his best friend from today onwards, get ready for PMs (read=many) you for streamboat, ktv, griefs till eternity...Thank you

[ronckw]

Bro Roncwk, Good post but err..............................please save yourself some trouble..please leave that kiko kid out of this, insects see the world very differently to us. Each eye of an insect is like a lot of eyes all stuck together, called compound eyes and insects also have good tympanal organs
to hear sounds, I bet now he should receive some signal and is rushing to the nearest toilet hole to transform into a Super Bug !!! You shall be his best friend from today onwards, get ready for PMs (read=many) you for streamboat, ktv, griefs till eternity...Thank you

Hahhaa...thanks for the warning....

Cheers dude.....:)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Bro DYBJ....

Bro Kiko has a point to love our wives to a certain extent & i gotto give him credit to have a postive attitude towards marriage. Some ppl are just simply afraid of commitment.....

ronckw, its nottin wrong to be an idealist.
Wats wrong is the application of something you call SUTRA that you have no knowledge about.
Just like a single childless PRICK trying to teach you how to be a good daddy.....
I think you get my drift.
Till he gets married, like i said, if he could or if there's a female out there dumb or desperate enuff to marry this fella, then what he says will just be pollution to me.

Having a wife is no big deal.
Having lovers or mistresses is also no big deal
The moral of this post if you really read & understood it, is how do you manage it!

[ronckw]

ronckw, its nottin wrong to be an idealist.
Wats wrong is the application of something you call SUTRA that you have no knowledge about.
Just like a single childless PRICK trying to teach you how to be a good daddy.....
I think you get my drift.
Till he gets married, like i said, if he could or if there's a female out there dumb or desperate enuff to marry this fella, then what he says will just be pollution to me.

Having a wife is no big deal.
Having lovers or mistresses is also no big deal
The moral of this post if you really read & understood it, is how do you manage it!

Bro... i understand where u coming from & really agree from the bottom of my heart.....

Its always easy for anyone to say something that they have not gone through....once they are there....totally different....

I guess i went off topic after reading ur conversation to Kiko....so sorry about that....

:)

[`TRISH]

Its not how you manage it, is how you put your boundaries and principles above all. A bigger man put his own moral boundaries above his family.
It just shows how shallow you as an individual is.

[`TRISH]

Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.
True and not true. It still happens everywhere only thing is not so widely spoken about in the open like the good old days.
It is not spoken openly now is only because of the society had changed and women are treated with respect and they can survive without men providing for them. Now it IS a social norm for a wife to have a lover outside. Its only a matter of what your moral boundary is.

It is said that wives make fewer demands than mistresses! It is also said that they are insecure...which makes them peevish and selfish in their demands!
This statement must be very careful. An insecure wife means an insecure personality.....even if you're Jesus or Buddha, you marry such a woman, watever you do, they'll still feel insecure.
I so agree with this.

Mistresses don't see husbands at holiday times! But they are usually given more expensive gifts!
Mistresses......a very common term but also has many meanings.....
Types of mistresses:
1) The type that you BAO and keep to fuck
2) The type that is lazy to find her own money thus total submission to your needs to fill her stomach
3) They type that you meet after you get married and want to or wish she was your wife but you couldnt marry cos you already have a wife and kid
4) The type that is TRULY IN LOVE wif you and has no motive to destroy your current family and IS WILLING to be in second or 3rd place without any DEMANDS from you, other than keeping her company during your free time
5) Totally financially independent women who dun need a fucking cent from you but just wants your love and attention as & when you're available.

As for the expensive gift part, guess its a money transaction already to shut her fucking mouth, so dun really consider that as a mistress...more like a kept woman....this is how they differ from one another

Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?
Of cos they can, its all in time management.........
Everything can be managed......just that many dun know how to that's all
Oh yes they can. Its all about time and being smart about it. You just gotta be smarter than your wife.

Are such relationships always doomed to fail?
Answer is NO! Again, depends on the diff distinctions of the kind of relationship that was mentioned above and what is their sole purpose to wanting to be with you in the 1st place.
If it was only due to money, then there was never a relationship to begin with, it was just pure Rental
If your talking about a real relationship then YES. It is doomed to fail. You know it before you even started it.

Is it worth having a secret lover?
Ah...this is a clear question.
Yes, of cos, Y not?
You can do things and fulfill your fantasies with your lover that you never even dare try on your wife....................
Also, if your wife makes you toolan, you got your lover to turn to.......
If lover make you toolan, return back to wife vice versa
Sadly, the way the above person see it, it only shows how shallow you as an individual is. If you think its worth having the risk of breaking your family apart by having a 'secret' lover then by all means. I believe in marriage the both should be open about their sexual intimacy and needs, and then compromise between. If you need someone to turn to, it just shows how depandent and insecure you are. If you think that way, I dont think you can sustain a marriage or even a relationship.

What do you think? :D
I think i answered you liaozzzzzzzz:D[/QUOTE]

[sneixd]

`TRISH

I dont quite get it. DYBJ said clarity/transparency or honesty is the Key. And I very much agree to it. So where's the Secret Lover? There's none to begin with. Some people love ONE Car *maybe it's a bad analogy* but others just get more and in this case I park three in the same place and DYBJ has 4 under one roof. I cant comment anything about marriage though.. yet there's no disagreement here when all fit in / agree to fit in / under circumstance / or just fit in . . . . . they're in. Else, go park somewhere else.

One last point, we can share our needs analysis whatever but not every car drives like a conti. One is comfy, but no Oomph.. the other Power yet noisy. So, why cant I just keep a select few since my Dad and my fore-father(s) have been at it all along. Moreover, not every couple give in to each other's demands. E.g. my mixed-chinese sweet thing dont suck means dont suck.

And We Men Just Love Our KaRs =)
Each. Everyone of THEM.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

[QUOTE=`TRISH;3643143]Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.
It is not spoken openly now is only because of the society had changed and women are treated with respect and they can survive without men providing for them. Now it IS a social norm for a wife to have a lover outside. Its only a matter of what your moral boundary is.
Well said, but may i know where is this social norm acceptance is from?
I've really yet to hear or come across any to substantiate your claims......
I've really yet to come across any, no joke...but from this statement, you're definitely not from the MALE species

Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?
Oh yes they can. Its all about time and being smart about it. You just gotta be smarter than your wife.
Remember the term lover, as explained earlier, and yes, to me a lover is nothing more than a piece of meat!

Are such relationships always doomed to fail?
If your talking about a real relationship then YES. It is doomed to fail. You know it before you even started it.
Again your statement twists from truth. You have to be very specific about wat you say...mistress or lover?

Is it worth having a secret lover?
Sadly, the way the above person see it, it only shows how shallow you as an individual is. If you think its worth having the risk of breaking your family apart by having a 'secret' lover then by all means. I believe in marriage the both should be open about their sexual intimacy and needs, and then compromise between. If you need someone to turn to, it just shows how depandent and insecure you are. If you think that way, I dont think you can sustain a marriage or even a relationship.
Oh dun worry, all my wives and me are very open. As a matter of fact, they were all laughing when they saw me replying to you.......do not pass judgment on what you have no idea of..........we have this openness that many people wont even dare to thread on!

My second wife just wanted me to add this, if you're a gal, you must have been betrayed big time before....poor thing...maybe if you're real lucky, you'll meet a man like my old man one day.
If you're a guy, well, you must be living in LALA land.

As for me, 2 posts only and this is all you can come up wif??????
Another Kiko clone??????bwahahahahaha

[colins]

It goes beyond the running of a family, it is the belief of how matters can progress from problems to solutions. Bro 'TRISH likes consultative, sitting on the fence type of approach. Like everything can chum xiong if love is good. But no room for anybody to catch a breath outside the relationship, not allowed cos moral doesn't allow it. So must solve things swee swee between 2 persons and things will always be resolved before the night is over and then sex will be good.

Reality is, one side will always compromise. You or your wife/GF. And the solution will always slant towards one end, unless of cos, you totally bochap and let someone run your life, trust me you will want to be the HEAVIER end. I have not seen a couple who would take a piece of paper and say, Ok ah I compromise 15 times liao and so far you only 2 times, now you owe me 13 times so you must listen to me for the next 13 times on my say to dictate our lives and YOU MUST BE HAPPY DOING SO. Let's have sex to seal the pact and you can suck my dick till I cum but I'll count that as 3 x compromise.

I think that's pretty deeeeeep my friend. Of cos if you really do that. ;)

[`TRISH]

[QUOTE=`TRISH;3643143]Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.
It is not spoken openly now is only because of the society had changed and women are treated with respect and they can survive without men providing for them. Now it IS a social norm for a wife to have a lover outside. Its only a matter of what your moral boundary is.
Well said, but may i know where is this social norm acceptance is from?
I've really yet to hear or come across any to substantiate your claims......
I've really yet to come across any, no joke...but from this statement, you're definitely not from the MALE species
Okay, i had misused my words carelessly.
To be exact, it is becoming a social norm, 22% male and 14% female have at least once affairs in their marriage life. What makes you think the ratio wont waver?

Can a husband manage both a wife and a lover?
Oh yes they can. Its all about time and being smart about it. You just gotta be smarter than your wife.
Remember the term lover, as explained earlier, and yes, to me a lover is nothing more than a piece of meat!

Are such relationships always doomed to fail?
If your talking about a real relationship then YES. It is doomed to fail. You know it before you even started it.
Again your statement twists from truth. You have to be very specific about wat you say...mistress or lover?
I stated real relationship up there that involves emotions not just your piece of meat.

Is it worth having a secret lover?
Sadly, the way the above person see it, it only shows how shallow you as an individual is. If you think its worth having the risk of breaking your family apart by having a 'secret' lover then by all means. I believe in marriage the both should be open about their sexual intimacy and needs, and then compromise between. If you need someone to turn to, it just shows how depandent and insecure you are. If you think that way, I dont think you can sustain a marriage or even a relationship.
Oh dun worry, all my wives and me are very open. As a matter of fact, they were all laughing when they saw me replying to you.......do not pass judgment on what you have no idea of..........we have this openness that many people wont even dare to thread on!

My second wife just wanted me to add this, if you're a gal, you must have been betrayed big time before....poor thing...maybe if you're real lucky, you'll meet a man like my old man one day.
If you're a guy, well, you must be living in LALA land.

As for me, 2 posts only and this is all you can come up wif??????
Another Kiko clone??????bwahahahahaha

Like you said, dont pass judgement on what you have no idea of, so by the way I was opposing to the idea means I have been betrayed? By the way I was oppsing to the idea means I am living in LALA land?
Do you think every human on earth thinks like the way you do?


Openness is a nice way of saying, its just a convenient way of justifying your actions.
No secrets between your family, good!
They accepted it, good for you!
Everyone in your family think its okay and its rightful of you then good good for you!
But I still absolutely dont get your post.
Do you even think that 90% of them have been open about their 'piece of meat'.
From what I see from most of the comments are just plain selfish.
And if you are really open, and your 'family' are really open, then why so defensive about what I have said?
And I definately have a different view from you here.

[1302]

Pengyou, y u bother to reply to this Trish fella?
See oso noe this one is none other than the sour mental psycho Kefuso aka Titleist.
I followed all the other post he did on the FL Dome regarding the Xiao La prostitute
No need use blain,use kidney oso know its him ler
Eh Kefuso/Titleist,chicken go back belly sad ah?
Its ok,u like to b carrothead hor,give her 10k sure come back and let everybody fuck again one
U say u millionaire correct,so this amount to u shud be penuts la

[`TRISH]

It goes beyond the running of a family, it is the belief of how matters can progress from problems to solutions. Bro 'TRISH likes consultative, sitting on the fence type of approach. Like everything can chum xiong if love is good. But no room for anybody to catch a breath outside the relationship, not allowed cos moral doesn't allow it. So must solve things swee swee between 2 persons and things will always be resolved before the night is over and then sex will be good.

Reality is, one side will always compromise. You or your wife/GF. And the solution will always slant towards one end, unless of cos, you totally bochap and let someone run your life, trust me you will want to be the HEAVIER end. I have not seen a couple who would take a piece of paper and say, Ok ah I compromise 15 times liao and so far you only 2 times, now you owe me 13 times so you must listen to me for the next 13 times on my say to dictate our lives and YOU MUST BE HAPPY DOING SO. Let's have sex to seal the pact and you can suck my dick till I cum but I'll count that as 3 x compromise.

I think that's pretty deeeeeep my friend. Of cos if you really do that. ;)


Come on who does that? "Reality is, one side will always compromise" how far are you from reality? You have not seen it doesnt mean the world only exist in your point of view.

Sure the dopamin rush with a new face. We all know it comes back to the original state of mind. Whats new?

I still think it is just a selfish reason.

[ronckw]

ok....now the topic has too many words in it for me to understand the discussion simply....

blur liao.....:confused:

[Panamera]

Sis Trish, can share your story unselfishly?

[newbadass]

There are some who think they have it all figured out, and there are some who accept that they still have plenty to learn (as with all things in life).

I stand by my oft-repeated statement: The only thing you need to understand about women is that they can never be understood. Women are not meant to be understood. They're meant to be appreciated.

It's OK to think you have figured out your own best approach to certain issues (in this case, marriage and lovers). Just don't be foolish enough to think that everyone should follow your example. Everyone has his own path to take. Following in another man's footsteps only leads you to another man's destiny.

[newbadass]

I still think it is just a selfish reason.

Maybe it is. In fact, it probably is. But so what? :D

He is simply telling us his approach. He is not arrogantly claiming that everyone else is wrong and he is right. As long as his decision and his approach does not harm any unwilling parties, who gives a shit what he thinks is right?

Chill! :cool:

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Maybe it is. In fact, it probably is. But so what? :D

He is simply telling us his approach. He is not arrogantly claiming that everyone else is wrong and he is right. As long as his decision and his approach does not harm any unwilling parties, who gives a shit what he thinks is right?

Chill! :cool:

Tks bro, before i begin, allow me to state the following which is not related to u but the CLONE:
On the start page, when one logs in, whether to PM, view or reply certain threads, it'll be reflected.
Funny thing is that this character was logged on & then left & within a minute, an old nick immediately logged in to view the FL Dome page.....
This is enough proof for me.
As I'm outta town now, now worries, some things, like i always say, will settle in person! Flaming is for the BOH JI

Back to the reply.
Yes, I have never meant or said its the way, its just my way...works for me!
But that doesnt mean it works for all.
As for whether they tell me all about their meat, it's people like you, the CLONE, who injects jealousy, insecurity and poison into anothers holy matrimony...but again, that's ur way & I respect it.
Damn, you already showed everyone how mentally unstable you r on the other thread liao, so why am i even replying to a psycho??????
hahaha

Anyways, again, its my way & it works for me & i never proclaim it works for everyone.
But through experiments and experience, you'll find the winning formula sooner or later.

Do Not, & I mean Do Not, ever say it's my way or the highway, like the clone mentioned, else you'll always be the screwed up psycho who thinks the whole world is wrong, as long as they do not see his point of you.
Conclusion: Never learn shit, & will always be nottin but that piece of shit!

I now close wif his new siggy:
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

[Panamera]

Tks bro, before i begin, allow me to state the following which is not related to u but the CLONE:
On the start page, when one logs in, whether to PM, view or reply certain threads, it'll be reflected.Funny thing is that this character was logged on & then left & within a minute, an old nick immediately logged in to view the FL Dome page.....This is enough proof for me.As I'm outta town now, now worries, some things, like i always say, will settle in person! Flaming is for the BOH JI

That tiger12477 guy, correct? I also suspected him

[DO_YOU_BJ]

That tiger12477 guy, correct? I also suspected him

hahaha look in this thread:

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/welcome-fl-dome-2-free-stds-included/99052-xiao-la-23-yo-syt-ar-bbbj.html

And look for the siggy which i used for conclusion of my post!

[Panamera]

hahaha look in this thread:http://www.sammyboyforum.com/welcome-fl-dome-2-free-stds-included/99052-xiao-la-23-yo-syt-ar-bbbj.htmlAnd look for the siggy which i used for conclusion of my post!

Now I know him liao, WTF!! its that cartoon wolfy guy competing for King Joker!!! He was the same guy in Chatroom using Smelly.Cunt nics that keep scolding others including my parents....WTF!!!!!! It's YOU.....Kefuso!!!! You Son-of-No-Good-Motherless-Goat! I recognized your exact "parents greeting" statement from last nite!!! :mad:...Mission not accomplished, you M.F kefuSo, I will be your shadow from now....

On 2nd thought, think better, we send our ninja Kiko with his unorthodox arts of war to bombard him with pms......Or maybe he is also Kiko clone...

[Panamera]

Hey! The Wolf from RoadRunner cartoon, please read this thread I posted for you

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/welcome-fl-dome-2-free-stds-included/99052-xiao-la-23-yo-syt-ar-bbbj-26.html

If you need SPCA contact numbers, post here, I send you there personally along with my cat..:D

[`TRISH]

YES! It works for you, and what i've said works for me.
What you have just said have just contradicts whatever you stated in the beginning.
You dont care about them telling you all about their meat or whatsoever but then again you claims you have this openess between your family that I wouldnt understand. Care to explain what do you actually meant?

In any case, it is the others your talking about who injects jealousy, insecurity.
If im a psycho for expressing my views on having a lover or not then your a retard for doing what you claims.
At least a psycho can thinks better.

If you never proclaims it works for everyone then why claims im wrong?
Correct me but your the one who jump in on me in the first place.
So why do I bother? Cause you bother ;]


Maybe it is. In fact, it probably is. But so what?

He is simply telling us his approach. He is not arrogantly claiming that everyone else is wrong and he is right. As long as his decision and his approach does not harm any unwilling parties, who gives a shit what he thinks is right?

Chill!

If it is, so what right? No biggie right?
I think so too, but I would still love to express myself.
I dont think it is wrong of me to either, isnt it?

I do admit that I am pissed with the person who said
"if your wife makes you toolan, you got a lover to turn to, and vice versa." Because that is really a lousy reason without really considerating other factors in life.

[Panamera]

Yo, Bro DO_YOU_BJ,

Thanks for the link.

Wishing you a Super and Fruitful Trip! :D

Best Regards,
Panamera

[colins]

Come on who does that? "Reality is, one side will always compromise" how far are you from reality? You have not seen it doesnt mean the world only exist in your point of view.

Sure the dopamin rush with a new face. We all know it comes back to the original state of mind. Whats new?

I still think it is just a selfish reason.

Well that is my reality. For the first 18 months max, everything can be consultative becos love defies logic. For many many relationships my friends have, likewise for relatives, bros here, friends' friend etc., and I dare say everyone looks pretty normal, that is truth. Perhaps you too, unless of cos you are in the middle of your first puppy love, then dun need to say and I will have to discount your argument.

Well I guess if I know you now, and I treat you like a friend while you take me as a fool, then I am far from reality. Otherwise, you have yours and I have mine. I pointed out an example of how relationship tends to work and you dig the language of whether I have seen it or not. I refer to your points that relationships is seldom consultative and you say I have not seen it doesn't mean it dun exist. Your points are universal arguments to start a useless fight based on ignorance, not on experience. Like everything you say, I can also reply you back, boy you are wrong cos you have not seen it, wait until you can prove it then you come here and talk. That is so weak and useless isn't it? Challenge me on the same points la. Tell me how can consultative relationship can work and that can really save the day for many bros here.

You think its selfish? Thats becos you haven't seen more selfishness from people who are even paid to be selfless. ;)

[QQBoy]

I like to share with the brothers here that I have a girlfriend or mistress although I have been married for 14 years and love my wife. However, life has been quite monotonous and our activities are surrounding our kids. This is probably the typical Singapore lifestyle. If you've watched the HK movie July Rhapsody acted by Jackie Cheung, I'm probably in the same situation. A SYT appeared out of nowhere, and we are able to click just like that. I am 18 years her senior. I love her, and I know that she is loves me too. We've been together for 6 months and our love for each other is going stronger day by day. Even if we don't date, we still talk on the phone everyday. She knows the rules with our relationship and is willing to be my number 2, and she has no motive to destroy my family. She's not embarrassed to get stares from strangers when we hold hands in public. My wife doesn't get suspicious because she trust that I don't betray her. She is also busy with her business and doesn't have time for me. I don't know how long this affair is going to last, but I am certainly enjoying our exciting moments together.

[`TRISH]

Well that is my reality. For the first 18 months max, everything can be consultative becos love defies logic. For many many relationships my friends have, likewise for relatives, bros here, friends' friend etc., and I dare say everyone looks pretty normal, that is truth. Perhaps you too, unless of cos you are in the middle of your first puppy love, then dun need to say and I will have to discount your argument.

Well I guess if I know you now, and I treat you like a friend while you take me as a fool, then I am far from reality. Otherwise, you have yours and I have mine. I pointed out an example of how relationship tends to work and you dig the language of whether I have seen it or not. I refer to your points that relationships is seldom consultative and you say I have not seen it doesn't mean it dun exist. Your points are universal arguments to start a useless fight based on ignorance, not on experience. Like everything you say, I can also reply you back, boy you are wrong cos you have not seen it, wait until you can prove it then you come here and talk. That is so weak and useless isn't it? Challenge me on the same points la. Tell me how can consultative relationship can work and that can really save the day for many bros here.

You think its selfish? Thats becos you haven't seen more selfishness from people who are even paid to be selfless. ;)

Pardon me if I didnt think it is necessary for me to point out that I have seen many who are in a loving marriage for decades.
I dont think relationships work on the way you said, you give in once and vice versa. How can you compare in such a way?
And of course truth is what you've seen, and I dont blame you for that.
Given the words of my friends and relatives who have been in a great marriage, they all gave me the same comments about how to keep marriage lives exciting and not boring.
Sure there are boring times in their marriage, but each have their own ways to tackle it instead of substituting with an external adrenaline rush.
Its only a matter of trying and put utmost efforts. And of course both have to play a mutual part of it all not only a one sided party.
Whoever said marriage was easy?

[HCKing]

Its not how you manage it, is how you put your boundaries and principles above all. A bigger man put his own moral boundaries above his family.
It just shows how shallow you as an individual is.

i rem there's an old story of 2 animals, one saw the other animal able to climb up the tree and eat grapes while it can only watch and salivate. but this animal very clever, it comes up with a way to stroke and console its ego by saying the grapes are sour, the other animal is just stupid to have ate them.

anyone heard of this story b4?:D

[Panamera]

Given the words of my friends and relatives who have been in a great marriage, they all gave me the same comments about how to keep marriage lives exciting and not boring.Sure there are boring times in their marriage, but each have their own ways to tackle it instead of substituting with an external adrenaline rush.

Spinster Trish, Although Matters of the Heart is to help those that has a commercial fuck that turned into a torrid love affair, our experts here can also advise career women and old maids beyond their customary age for marriage whose life been upside down, not having 69 or upside down position for ages! with a drying well crisis. Please share you story..:D BTW, if you are prettty, I don't mind letting you to Prime my Pump!

[mike1304k]

Spinster Trish, Although Matters of the Heart is to help those that has a commercial fuck that turned into a torrid love affair, our experts here can also advise career women and old maids beyond their customary age for marriage whose life been upside down, not having 69 or upside down position for ages! with a drying well crisis. Please share you story..:D BTW, if you are prettty, I don't mind letting you to Prime my Pump!

Hehehe bro Panamera... U split me like a banana... Lols... But seriously lah... don know wat issues Bro or Sis Trish has, but there are some who will want to moralise the sanctity of marriage. Some do not give a hoot as long as they are happy... To each his or her own lah... I do believe in the sanctity of the marriage fully and would hope that my marriage lasts forever. People have their own way of staying married and there is no "secret formula". We are all humans and we all have our own ideas, thoughts and so on.

I would also like to say that no matter how moralistic one can be, or idealistic one can be, being human, we will be tempted. It is only how we react to the temptations. I for one was really tempted (please find my thread) and it was only after a long thought that I found my way out. I did not compromise to anyone for any reason. Just a choice for myself. If we say compromise, it will mean someone has to give to some extent or other. If we choose our action, there is no compromise. I chose. My wife also supports me on the choice.

So to return to the topic... Steps to happiness of unhappiness all depends on the individual. The husband or wife has a choice. He or she can find life boring, may want an extra bit of spice or a full blown halepena chilli... it is their choice. Whether when they have somethig on the side and they are happy or not... it is also their choice... A guy can have a rich wife who will dote on him, a slutty lover who will stroke his rod and a SWT to stroke his ego.... is he really happy? Or a guy with plane jane plump little one, who will be his wife and the mother of his children till the day he dies... will he be happy? Happiness is a state of mind...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Well said mike.
Looks like you've answered all that has to be answered and i find it meaningless to reply to Trash.
Sorry, its Trish lol
Some people live in the real world, where some people, who claims that a psycho thinks better.....OMG, live in LALA Land....to each his own.
Damn bo liao man hahahaha

[Panamera]

I do admit that I am pissed with the person who said "if your wife makes you toolan, you got a lover to turn to, and vice versa." Because that is really a lousy reason without really considerating other factors in life.

Spinster, wait till you're married than talk la. How could you be pissed with your imagination while you are still single? Go and enjoy a dick tonite la.I know, it's been a long time since you had a real 1 instead of a plastic or cucumber..:D

[Panamera]

I would still love to express myself.
I dont think it is wrong of me to either, isnt it?

Have you ever tried to ponder for a minute in one of your long, empty, horny, sadness, loneliness, dark of nites, that perhaps, just perhaps, If you had been less expressive, you would have been happily married and bonking by now..:( sign..sign..

[`TRISH]

Thank you but I live a very enjoyable and fulfilled life.
Since whats been said been said, I guess i dont have to bother anyone here like a pest now.
Big ego, small brains.
Irrational statements.
I guess you are the last level of the human pyramid, the animal/beast.
In the mean time, enjoy your eternal years of void and loveless unfulfilled marriage life. Oh unless you stick to become a bachelor for life.
In that case, happy ramping.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Wahahaha, I kenna zap in this thread & by the remarks....no need to say also know who liaozzzzzz!

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/3654981-post18.html

[Panamera]

Wahahaha, I kenna zap in this thread & by the remarks....no need to say also know who liaozzzzzz!

http://www.sammyboyforum.com/3654981-post18.html

MF Zapper, if you are reading this, no need to insult my Bro DO_YOU_BJ parent or any SBF bros parents for that matters....Only a coward does that. :mad: HOW TO RAISE YOUR DICK, LIKE THAT!! :mad::(

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Leave him bro.
When people resort to this kind of insults, it's good.
It actually shows the GRADE of people they belong to.
So, dun be angry for him/her/it, just pray for their maturity to the blain

[xcapade]

wife is a life partner.....everything u do with her till old age....
mistress i guess is just for lust.....

but for sure need alot of vitamin M for that....hehe

[newbadass]

I remember there was a time when SBF bros extremely chee hong. A new girl nick posts in the forum and there will be a lot of people calling her "sis" and trying to pai ma pi, PM her, ask her for contact, etc etc.

I away for a few months liao, now come back everything change. New girl nick come in, talk nicely, then tio flame jialat jialat. The irony is delicious :D

[colins]

.......Your points are universal arguments to start a useless fight based on ignorance, not on experience. Like everything you say, I can also reply you back, boy you are wrong cos you have not seen it, wait until you can prove it then you come here and talk. That is so weak and useless isn't it? Challenge me on the same points la. Tell me how can consultative relationship can work and that can really save the day for many bros here.....

....
Sure there are boring times in their marriage, but each have their own ways to tackle it instead of substituting with an external adrenaline rush.
Its only a matter of trying and put utmost efforts. And of course both have to play a mutual part of it all not only a one sided party.
Whoever said marriage was easy?

How can consultative relationship works to keep marriage across decades?

Sure. Extra-marital relationships may, for many bros, be an escape path to unsolved issues among couples. If that is so, my opinion is the same as yours, becos escapism is a personal problem. My point is, in the first place escapism occurs when couples are unable to get either parties to compromise on fairness. If there is no absolute fairness in relationships, there is no consultative. One party will always call the shots. If one party is unwilling yet made to compromise, and he/she will only have 2 choices, escape the issue or negotiate until the other party accepts the short end. Otherwise break up occurs. No other logical way to solve such issues. In short, if no negotiation takes place, he/she quietly swallows what is being felt as unfairness and accepts his/her fate until he/she accumulates enough badblood to see somebody else outside the relationship.

Of cos, I can always substantiate my opinion by say, well I seen it, I heard it, my folks been through it, someone told me about it...etc.

Come on, what is it that you heard? How can consultative relationships with absolute fairness exist and works? ;)

[colins]

I remember there was a time when SBF bros extremely chee hong. A new girl nick posts in the forum and there will be a lot of people calling her "sis" and trying to pai ma pi, PM her, ask her for contact, etc etc.

I away for a few months liao, now come back everything change. New girl nick come in, talk nicely, then tio flame jialat jialat. The irony is delicious :D

Hahaha...to be frank, although the tone and opinion do seems slightly feminine, how do we know if trish is female? ;)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

But bro NewBadAss, by looking and connecting the chain of events that led to a sudden appearance of a new nick in the form of a gals, it's pretty clear n obvious the poster got no pussy but is actually a male PUSSY or ManGaina!
Wahahahahahaha

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Doubt ManGaina will ever come out to prove whether its a he or she or it or HeShe

[Panamera]

`TRISH sholud be a dicky, I've been trying to draw her out, calling her a spinster and old maid but no response from her at all. Any female would jump and shout at me as it was an insulting and a degrading term. Only a guy would not react to it.

In addition, most female samsters here would not write long postings and certain words used by 'TRISH were men words than women. There are only a handful of female samsters here, so it is easy to profile.

If not, then he must be a gay..wahahaha

[`TRISH]

How can consultative relationship works to keep marriage across decades?

Sure. Extra-marital relationships may, for many bros, be an escape path to unsolved issues among couples. If that is so, my opinion is the same as yours, becos escapism is a personal problem. My point is, in the first place escapism occurs when couples are unable to get either parties to compromise on fairness. If there is no absolute fairness in relationships, there is no consultative. One party will always call the shots. If one party is unwilling yet made to compromise, and he/she will only have 2 choices, escape the issue or negotiate until the other party accepts the short end. Otherwise break up occurs. No other logical way to solve such issues. In short, if no negotiation takes place, he/she quietly swallows what is being felt as unfairness and accepts his/her fate until he/she accumulates enough badblood to see somebody else outside the relationship.

Of cos, I can always substantiate my opinion by say, well I seen it, I heard it, my folks been through it, someone told me about it...etc.

Come on, what is it that you heard? How can consultative relationships with absolute fairness exist and works? ;)

Okay then I am apologetic for intruding the thread this way. ;]
But by far, I have not still yet change my views...

[Panamera]

Okay then I am apologetic for intruding the thread this way. ;]
But by far, I have not still yet change my views...

Are you a male or female? :)

[colins]

Okay then I am apologetic for intruding the thread this way. ;]
But by far, I have not still yet change my views...

Aiyo nobody wants to change your mind la, I just want to learn from you cos if you have a special formula and like now would share more about it, everyone can benefit mah. Else no difference from those 摆地摊 卖膏药 right?

Anyways apologies accepted. bye!

[newbadass]

`TRISH sholud be a dicky, I've been trying to draw her out, calling her a spinster and old maid but no response from her at all. Any female would jump and shout at me as it was an insulting and a degrading term. Only a guy would not react to it.

In addition, most female samsters here would not write long postings and certain words used by 'TRISH were men words than women. There are only a handful of female samsters here, so it is easy to profile.


Or maybe the poster finds your insults too silly to respond to, leh? If it's me, whether man or woman, I also couldn't be bothered what... what "spinster" what "old maid"... nabei, you still think this is the 80s? :D

Walao brudder... you don't know ah... some of the most long-winded posters on here are charbor OK... :cool:

[`TRISH]

Aiyo nobody wants to change your mind la, I just want to learn from you cos if you have a special formula and like now would share more about it, everyone can benefit mah. Else no difference from those 摆地摊 卖膏药 right?

Anyways apologies accepted. bye!

Not all of my relatives and friends have a loving marriage but there is some that do. The people that have, said that sex too often, often causes both parties to see flaws on each other and after sex they often find each other unattractive. Guys have a immediate effect, "turn over and sleep". I think thats call the sex hang over.

On my side, I agree on that too and I honestly find that cuddling with each other every night rather than sex makes our bonding more meaningful and builds our mutual trust, compassion and understanding much stronger.
And of course sex is a vital point in marriage but everything to the extreme is not good right? Plus there are other factors to consider.

But of course this doesnt works for everyone.
Just my thoughts...

After going through my posts, I take back the insults I gave.

[Panamera]

Or maybe the poster finds your insults too silly to respond to, leh? If it's me, whether man or woman, I also couldn't be bothered what... what "spinster" what "old maid"... nabei, you still think this is the 80s? :D

Walao brudder... you don't know ah... some of the most long-winded posters on here are charbor OK... :cool:

Yo Bro newbadass, I also think it's silly. hahaha :D ..pai-sei, pai-sei

[colins]

....
Walao brudder... you don't know ah... some of the most long-winded posters on here are charbor OK... :cool:

Yeah, i second this comment. Haha...a lot of them do explain their points in great details.

[Panamera]

Bro Colins, I think you got an admirateur! wahahahaha :D

[colins]

Not all of my relatives and friends have a loving marriage but there is some that do. The people that have, said that sex too often, often causes both parties to see flaws on each other and after sex they often find each other unattractive. Guys have a immediate effect, "turn over and sleep". I think thats call the sex hang over.

On my side, I agree on that too and I honestly find that cuddling with each other every night rather than sex makes our bonding more meaningful and builds our mutual trust, compassion and understanding much stronger.
And of course sex is a vital point in marriage but everything to the extreme is not good right? Plus there are other factors to consider.

But of course this doesnt works for everyone.
Just my thoughts...

After going through my posts, I take back the insults I gave.

I'm quite sure the bros here can take what you termed as insults. There are worst. The point here is, the thinking between male and female are very different (like everyone dun know), so that logically separates our needs as well. We guys have physical needs, you have emotional needs, guy may never understand how cuddling builds trust, girls may never understand how sexual satisfactions (albeit till hangover) builds security and therefore gives us the psychological relief to fall asleep.

Believing that everything in a relationship should be mutual is fantasizing about If-I-like-something-you-will-sure-like-it-too kinda conclusion. Mundane life doesn't work in parallel with love life, you have ups and downs, you have uncontrollable sensitivity, you have preferences built from experience. Siamese twins also got quarrel, but they cannot part ways, thats all.

Before I go too far, my conclusion in relationships, is that there is no consultative relationship. Either you take control or you dun. Make yourself happy first before you can make others happy. Your partner, whether voluntarily or not, stays with the style of the prominent person. If you happy with him/her controlling, be ready for the fact that his/her personal preference may infringe yours (like extra-marital relationship) until you have to accept it or break it. If you can cause such effect on your partner, you control. If you suffer from such effect, accept being controlled. Both cases can make you happy unless you choose to escape, thinking that you are in control of the relationship when in actual fact you do not. Wanting it yet deluding yourself away from the reality that you dun have it. Escaping anything is the start of the end of a relationship. Controlling the other partner, is not. So in a very objective view, be happy but be happy seeing the truth as the person being controlled when you absolutely need him/her in your life.

[1302]

After going through my posts, I take back the insults I gave.

Tok so muchie end up still LPPL gong solly.
Eh charbor next time think before you fuck,thats da cos of unwanted pregnancies.
Open mouf anyhow shoot
Lucky this cyberworld else i sure take my lanjiao make you chui tut lan i tell you!
But i tink Panamera already took that slot kekekeke

Panamera make sure this cheebye mouth bitch you CIM and she fucking swallow every drop hor.
Not enuff tell me & i ask all bros here to collect & give her spermy shower:p

[`TRISH]

Tok so muchie end up still LPPL gong solly.
Eh charbor next time think before you fuck,thats da cos of unwanted pregnancies.
Open mouf anyhow shoot
Lucky this cyberworld else i sure take my lanjiao make you chui tut lan i tell you!
But i tink Panamera already took that slot kekekeke

Panamera make sure this cheebye mouth bitch you CIM and she fucking swallow every drop hor.
Not enuff tell me & i ask all bros here to collect & give her spermy shower:p

People like you is why I dont bother reply to some posts.
But exceptionally you, because you won in your motive to make me mad.
Before you worry about putting your so called dickhead into my mouth, you should worry about whether your so called penis would get bitten off or tugged off.

Back to the topic, yes be happy is all that counts! ;]

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Back to the topic, yes be happy is all that counts! ;]

I'm in no position to comment on that fellas post but i can only say, like you've finally, and i hope, came to your senses of REALITY vs IDEAL

Being married wif 3 wives under 1 roof is no easy task.
Yes, works for me, they are all working for me now just for the record.
My 1st runs the family
My 2nd runs my business
My 3rd is my financial controller
So, they all contribute to the wealth and not, just spread their legs like most lovers or mistresses to earn their keep!
So in other words, I dun feed them, they actually feed me hahahaha
Note, they are also not your silent goody 2 shoes kinda gals u see wif their men, they all belong to the Alpha female group, and most men will salivate by just looking at them.
Some here have and I'm very sure they can vouch for that!

They all know my vices, yes, and i do not hesitate to tell them, let alone bring them occasionally to the KTVs i frequent to show them my NEW TOY!
Yes, many times, these TOYS freak in disbelief but people in my circle and nitescene all know about this, and it aint no secret.
If you have friends in the nitescene, go ask, you'll find out who i am real person easy.
Are they upset?
Of cos, but they come to terms wif it.....
Y u will surely be wondering?
An eagle needs to hunt.
Chain the eagle up, it'll loose its oomph and thus, u loose the core characteristic of that individual.

Do they feel threatened???? Actually, no. Not that they encourage it but they have come to terms and understand it.
Cos they know, these toys will be thrown away as fast as they came, and thus, is of no threat to the family.

Next, since they all work together, they go to work together, eat together, come home together, so should they have their vice, then who am i to say. If so, will i be upset??? Of cos, but who am I to challenge this should it actually happen one day? I am the least most qualified person in my house to challenge them on this. But hey, I trust them!

They all cross check each other, also a fail safe way for me without having to lift a finger.
Lastly, TRUST, the most important thing in any relationship, if there's no honesty and trust in a relationship, no matter how much u love someone, the insecurity will be like a cancer cell that will slowly but surely destroy the love of your life.

Remember, whatever choices we make in life, there's always 2 choices. Whichever one you take, will lead to a different ending. Being rigid is actually a matter of EGO......a smart n wise man will always have to maneuver according to the ever changing landscape and terrain to get his advantage to win any battle.
A rigid and stubborn general will always be beaten by his own reluctance to adjust to the needs as & when required as proven time & time again in history.

Life is like a chess game, play it well, all goes well.
Play it badly, everything will start to break apart no matter how to try to out flank your opponent.
That's why i say from the beginning, works for me!

[`TRISH]

I'm in no position to comment on that fellas post but i can only say, like you've finally, and i hope, came to your senses of REALITY vs IDEAL

Being married wif 3 wives under 1 roof is no easy task.
Yes, works for me, they are all working for me now just for the record.
My 1st runs the family
My 2nd runs my business
My 3rd is my financial controller
So, they all contribute to the wealth and not, just spread their legs like most lovers or mistresses to earn their keep!
So in other words, I dun feed them, they actually feed me hahahaha
Note, they are also not your silent goody 2 shoes kinda gals u see wif their men, they all belong to the Alpha female group, and most men will salivate by just looking at them.
Some here have and I'm very sure they can vouch for that!

They all know my vices, yes, and i do not hesitate to tell them, let alone bring them occasionally to the KTVs i frequent to show them my NEW TOY!
Yes, many times, these TOYS freak in disbelief but people in my circle and nitescene all know about this, and it aint no secret.
If you have friends in the nitescene, go ask, you'll find out who i am real person easy.
Are they upset?
Of cos, but they come to terms wif it.....
Y u will surely be wondering?
An eagle needs to hunt.
Chain the eagle up, it'll loose its oomph and thus, u loose the core characteristic of that individual.

Do they feel threatened???? Actually, no. Not that they encourage it but they have come to terms and understand it.
Cos they know, these toys will be thrown away as fast as they came, and thus, is of no threat to the family.

Next, since they all work together, they go to work together, eat together, come home together, so should they have their vice, then who am i to say. If so, will i be upset??? Of cos, but who am I to challenge this should it actually happen one day? I am the least most qualified person in my house to challenge them on this. But hey, I trust them!

They all cross check each other, also a fail safe way for me without having to lift a finger.
Lastly, TRUST, the most important thing in any relationship, if there's no honesty and trust in a relationship, no matter how much u love someone, the insecurity will be like a cancer cell that will slowly but surely destroy the love of your life.

Remember, whatever choices we make in life, there's always 2 choices. Whichever one you take, will lead to a different ending. Being rigid is actually a matter of EGO......a smart n wise man will always have to maneuver according to the ever changing landscape and terrain to get his advantage to win any battle.
A rigid and stubborn general will always be beaten by his own reluctance to adjust to the needs as & when required as proven time & time again in history.

Life is like a chess game, play it well, all goes well.
Play it badly, everything will start to break apart no matter how to try to out flank your opponent.
That's why i say from the beginning, works for me!


Hold on a second, I think you have mistaken me, I still choose to have my stand because i personally have this boundary and if the partner decide to cross over, I would definately go without hesitation... haha! Stubborn or naive up to you to decide!
Your family is definately a lively one, I bet every guy thinks your damn lucky.
But honestly I think, given that kind of family the girls wouldnt be bored like the average homewife. zzz!
But I still choose to disapprove! But whatever right! =p

[mike1304k]

Life is like a chess game, play it well, all goes well.
Play it badly, everything will start to break apart no matter how to try to out flank your opponent.
That's why i say from the beginning, works for me!

How very very true.... Mark these words well everyone... I live by them too.. It helps a lot but sometimes does tend to be a bother.

[newbadass]

People like you is why I dont bother reply to some posts.
But exceptionally you, because you won in your motive to make me mad.
Before you worry about putting your so called dickhead into my mouth, you should worry about whether your so called penis would get bitten off or tugged off.

Back to the topic, yes be happy is all that counts! ;]

This fella got no standard, what for bother with him? :D

Up to individual what he/she can or cannot tahan. Maybe going by quantity DYBJ is a very lucky guy... but give me the same thing, can I tahan? I doubt it, really. A really fortunate guy, to me, is someone who is given exactly what he can handle, no more no less. So if you can handle 3 women, well done! If not, don't try to be a hero and bite off more than you can chew...

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Hold on a second, I think you have mistaken me, I still choose to have my stand because i personally have this boundary and if the partner decide to cross over, I would definately go without hesitation... haha! Stubborn or naive up to you to decide!
Your family is definately a lively one, I bet every guy thinks your damn lucky.
But honestly I think, given that kind of family the girls wouldnt be bored like the average homewife. zzz!
But I still choose to disapprove! But whatever right! =p

Exactly opposite of wat you look for.
Allow me to elaborate further cos from your post, I dare say you're not married wif children.
Got BF no count!
One day, when you THINK your ideal life is so lovely, when hubby goes work, come back hug hug kiss kiss watch TV, we'll see who gets tired 1st & needs to get their life back to speed.
It will be so monotonous and boring.....the seed that propels men to look for spice elsewhere.......
But hey, remember your last statement, i said works for me.
And trust me my dear, you r in no status or position to even tell me whether you approve or disapprove, cos i aint seeking any from you, especially someone who i dare say again is almost half my age but of cos, you can choose on your own believes.

But i dun blame you, i once tot like you too.
Married, 收山how nice....bwahahahaha but experience has proved me otherwise!

That's Y when my old man was alive, when we argue, he'll just say "STOP!"
No need to tok, one day u yourself will learn.....as usual, he's rite.

Dun be too trigger happy, cos most of the times, the only one that gets shot in the end, is the shooter:p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

So if you can handle 3 women, well done! If not, don't try to be a hero and bite off more than you can chew...

Actually, there's no discussion needed.
Your reply above is the root to all these debate.
But then again, the moral of this thread by TS is not about approve or disapprove.
It's whether it'll lead to happiness or unhappiness.
Think it's way off track liao.

TS, sorry, my bad, i went off track....

[Panamera]

Tok so muchie end up still LPPL gong solly.
Eh charbor next time think before you fuck,thats da cos of unwanted pregnancies. Open mouf anyhow shoot Lucky this cyberworld else i sure take my lanjiao make you chui tut lan i tell you! But i tink Panamera already took that slot kekekeke Panamera make sure this cheebye mouth bitch you CIM and she fucking swallow every drop hor. Not enuff tell me & i ask all bros here to collect & give her spermy shower:p

1302, Wrong choice of words above. I think you misread my postings to TRISH. Let Bro Boss Sam take care of Kefuso aka Titleist or whatever clones. Enough said.

People like you is why I dont bother reply to some posts. But exceptionally you, because you won in your motive to make me mad. Before you worry about putting your so called dickhead into my mouth, you should worry about whether your so called penis would get bitten off or tugged off. Back to the topic, yes be happy is all that counts! ;]

TRISH, Be happy and chill! :)

[`TRISH]

well dybj thats true enough, im probably half your age and i always wanted to look for the most positive things in life, if not theres no meaning at all.
Not only men gets bored, women too.
Some how its quite depressing to know that thats truth and if I really got influence by all that have said, I really find no point in seeking the good in men, or rather Id rather just go by their wealth if it all really comes to that! =/

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Well, when u finally grow up or tasted the truth, whether u wanna believe it or not, by then, you'll know what to do already.
Cos you'd have already have the experience to guide your decision

[QQBoy]

I'm in no position to comment on that fellas post but i can only say, like you've finally, and i hope, came to your senses of REALITY vs IDEAL

Being married wif 3 wives under 1 roof is no easy task.
Yes, works for me, they are all working for me now just for the record.
My 1st runs the family
My 2nd runs my business
My 3rd is my financial controller



If you have meet-the-brothers sessions, I like to know you in person. How on earth you could have done that? Probably the only Singapore man that have 3 wives living together. How do you divide your nights with your lovely wives?

[DO_YOU_BJ]

If you have meet-the-brothers sessions, I like to know you in person. How on earth you could have done that? Probably the only Singapore man that have 3 wives living together. How do you divide your nights with your lovely wives?

Sorry, I do not have meet the bros session and have no intention to and how i divide my nites and wif who is totally domestic.
You trespassing into private territory liao

[Player15]

One mountain cannot hide two tiger

A successful man need to have a COMPLETE SEX life.

[ginny83teo]

Wives and Lovers...Steps to Happiness or Unhappiness?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Having an affair was once accepted and tolerated. It was once a social norm for a husband to support a wife and family, plus a lover.
True and not true. It still happens everywhere only thing is not so widely spoken about in the open like the good old days.

.... .....
What do you think?
I think i answered you liaozzzzzzzz


hahaha sound theortically correct.. haha

[sneixd]

A successful man need to have a COMPLETE SEX life.

i truly agree *through my own personal experience*. that pushes out the Eagle within to take flight.

[bunnyrabbit]

guess its a good question to ask ourselves..
can we tolerate our wives having another man as well?
yes marriage is a gamble...no matter how u look at it..u get good ones if u g lucky and u get bad ones if u r not...
end of the day it's ultimately our CHOICE to choose whether a mistress is worth it..
anyway wat u sow is wat u get...cheers

[colins]

yes marriage is a gamble...no matter how u look at it....

Yeah, thats why a good player always control the odds! ;)