Sad Man

[NewandLost]

I'm not really into the "commercial" scense but discovered this site and the "heart thread" after looking around on the Internet for help. Mx ex PRC GF had spent time in Singapore about 4 to 5 years ago with her sister. Is it possible she was a former KTV gal? We fought a lot over money with her saying men should pay for everything. I helped her with her business which failed, bought groceries, and gifts (though never an LV bad or anything outlandish). In the end she said I made her feel cheap but over the course of about a year it was my guess over 250K RMB. We broke up over my suspiciones of her having another BF (phone calls late at night, vacations for one week by herself, etc). I got a lot of pressure to purchase an apt for her because her GF's BF had done so, wanted a car, tuition, etc. She had a lot of problems with her family and I was her savior but not we are broke up. I even helped with her things (money) immediately after we broke up. We were to meet for CNY but before meeting I told her she had lost my trust because of the past. She wanted to forget and I stopped contact with her. Two months later I try to contact her and she refuses to answer. Im CBC so clueless about PRC women and CH dating customs. One thing is for sure this gal is still in my heart. Did I make the wrong call? I'm probably never going to get answers from her. One she is extremely sensitive and doesnt like confrontation and I dont think she will take my calls again. Some things hat bothered me which she said while we were together in addition to the unexplained abscences not sometimes not being reachable late at night (one time caught her at a nightclub) are she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man. Hope you can help. I'm looking for closure. Stll have a heavy heart but I also feel like the relationship was not real. I did meet her family and spent a lot of time with them. Thanks.

[pewpew]

You are just another mobile ATM machine to her, enough said.

[yourDoctor]

well...
bro...
it's kinda sad to hear your story.
but yeah when you attach feeling into something, the thing becomes serious :)
so...my advice is to get to know her very well and then u can try attaching your feeling towards her :)
spending money for a woman is somekind of investment~ so...investments are mostly risky :)
u gotta know the benefits...
before u know the benefits (maybe marriage or FB), just try to avoid making BIG investments..hehe..
cheers bro..

[abuja]

..with her saying men should pay for everything... she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man.

Forget her. She's only interested in your money and she doesn't need you now that she's found richer and more generous suckers. Besides calling you "lau gong" to your face and "sucker" behind your back, what else did she do for you in return for the money you spent? Did you get sex 7 times a day every day? You could have gone to Geylang instead of being emotionally harassed. You'll still be broke but happy.

[swiftee]

You already know what is happening behind your back just that you refuse to accept the truth. Go out and find someone that truly love you and will stick to you thru thick and thin.

[NewandLost]

I know. All of you make solid points. Now one wants to think they were used. But hey better to lose a relatively small amount versus going bankrupt which I have read on the other boards. Is this common practice for a "normal" PRC gal to make such demands. I mean for a woman who say one has dated for 5 years or even less and you knew there would be an engagement or some type of committment tested over time I wouldnt question doing the things she asked for. It might be my refusal to face the truth but this gal does have a lot of problems with her family. Like I said I was her savior and feel like I've cut her off in a way hence some guilt on my part. I just dont like the lack of communication on things like faithfulness. I mean the phone calls, cutting dates short on weekends, and vacations along to me are not normal. On the trips she said it was due to her family problems and need to get away alone. She does have problems where she would stay at home alone in crisis. I always felt if I could not breaktrough and get her out of it then maybe we were not compatible. It was tough. My guess is she feels like I stood her up for CNY but what was I to do? Get together with her in a situation where there was no reconciliation and discussion of past things that bothered me and then as you guys say on the other threads become a carrott again and get chopped up having to give money to her. I'm not that weak although if we could discuss things and I beleived her I could be generous. ITs amazing one loses all their street smarts when emotion come into play sometimes but I remained strong. Just that doubt on whether I made a mistake.

[goodpartner]

From teh way u describe her demands, I'll say ditch her man.
Even if she's not a PRC.
But read all other PRC related thread around here and you'll know the trend is similar, met family no big deal lah.

Seek another heart soul to tie over this period and you'll be another new man!

I didn't imply joining us here in the commercial scene hor, although you now have the best excuse to do so and not feel too bad about it! :rolleyes: :D

[NewandLost]

Also some of the reasons why I think it was not an ATM play are she cried a lot when we parted, cried when I wouldn't cave into her requests. But I have also seen this girl disrespect me like after an argument the next day she wanted a new mobile phone. The other one really did drop in the toilet. Just confused and sad guys.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

You shouldnt be a sad man, you should be a VERY HAPPY man.
I'll explain along your post and you'll see why.......

I'm not really into the "commercial" scense but discovered this site and the "heart thread" after looking around on the Internet for help. Mx ex PRC GF had spent time in Singapore about 4 to 5 years ago with her sister. Is it possible she was a former KTV gal?
It is very possible. What was she doin here in the 1st place?

We fought a lot over money with her saying men should pay for everything.
These gals r very common in China.
They feel that men shud UPKEEP them and pay for everything, from panty liners to mobile phone bills, they are leeches, a career as a matter of fact, once they've suck all the blood outta you, they'll move on to the next target

I helped her with her business which failed, bought groceries, and gifts (though never an LV bad or anything outlandish). In the end she said I made her feel cheap but over the course of about a year it was my guess over 250K RMB.
This is something you did at you own free will becos you FELT there was something REAL goin on

We broke up over my suspiciones of her having another BF (phone calls late at night, vacations for one week by herself, etc).
Isnt it already so obvious to you already?

I got a lot of pressure to purchase an apt for her because her GF's BF had done so, wanted a car, tuition, etc.
You do not have to spend money for have love from anyone, love is free, it come in attributes that does not have a price tag........if those things her friends BF can pressure you, then have you ever tot you may have an inferiority complex?

She had a lot of problems with her family and I was her savior but not we are broke up.
Everyone has probs but some probs are fabricated so that you will feel the need to be their knight in shining armour

I even helped with her things (money) immediately after we broke up.
Remember again, you gave willingly, no one put a gun on your head to force you to do anything.

We were to meet for CNY but before meeting I told her she had lost my trust because of the past. She wanted to forget and I stopped contact with her.
Its very clear that she has spilled the beans, being PRC, its a common trait for them to run once they cant sustain the lie or act anymore

Two months later I try to contact her and she refuses to answer.
You have done a grave wrong & injustice to yourself.
YOU CRAWLED BACK.
This shows your weakness towards her.
Your inability to live on without her is your biggest curse and her greatest weapon to ULTIMATE DOMINATION of you.

Im CBC so clueless about PRC women and CH dating customs.
These women are heartless, they'll act sad & very in love wif you when they need you or when you're the only source of financial support for them, once they have a better wealthier contender, they'll start showing their colours to you like what you have gone through

One thing is for sure this gal is still in my heart.
Of cos she is, after all you've been through and invested in this SO CALLED relationship but u cannot seem to understand why she treated you like that or didnt reciprocate to your investment in time, money & feelings to her

Did I make the wrong call? I'm probably never going to get answers from her.
You went into this with a HOPE希望 and thus you held on to it and invested to try to make it an everlasting dream & yes, you never will get an answer from her....

One she is extremely sensitive and doesnt like confrontation and I dont think she will take my calls again.
Let me correct you.
She's not sensitive.
Everytime you pry into her affairs or accuse her, she starts loosing her temper and wars erupt rite??????
This is the classic use the temper to get you into submission tactic so that they have a clean slate to run from that incident.
As for the calls, maybe she might, once she looses her new found financial institution or money tree.
But not acknowledging you now means she has no need for you in her life now cos she got it better $$$ than when she was with you.

Some things hat bothered me which she said while we were together in addition to the unexplained abscences not sometimes not being reachable late at night (one time caught her at a nightclub) are she once said to me I can get this from any man, I can get 20K RMB by just going out to dinner and entertainment but nothing else with another man.
This gal, like i mentioned is someone who live to make money. You can pump in $$$$$, you can get anything from her.
She'll swallow your cum, let you arse fuck her and so on.......
It's like a bottomless pit, you can dump $$$$$$$ but once the need for $$$$$$ again, they'll never be satisfied!!!

Hope you can help.
Worry not, you came to the rite place.

I'm looking for closure.
Actually you have already found your closure.
If you read your own post, you have already answered many of the questions that you're still puzzled about but instead of ending the answer with a . you ended them with a ?

Stll have a heavy heart but I also feel like the relationship was not real.
To you it was real cos you were the one who is GIVING but to her, you're just a fruit tree that she's plucking from.......so it's totally one sided my friend

I did meet her family and spent a lot of time with them.
This is very not important. Many PRC gals fake their families....they play this game in cahoots together so that you'll fall deeper and feel their sincerity and the so called family will get a cut of the $$$$$$$
Some even know what their daughter is doin and play along, cos parents are actually living off their kids...so its a tagged team match to milk you dry.

Thanks.
You're welcome

Move on my friend, she leaving you is the best thing that happened to you.
Yes, its heavy in the heart but you cannot deny that the sad times are more than the happy times you had.
You tot she loved you thus u spent and spent
Actually, if you were a third party like those reading here now, you were merely paying RENT!
As you mentioned, she is driven by money, and not from business but its like work. Her profession is exactly this.
This type i've met many and fucked many of them up so bad they never dare come back here anymore.
This is like a tumour in your body, it has dropped but you want to attach it back....DONT DO THAT
Time to live life the way you were meant to live
Happy, love someone and get the same love and care in return
Not fight over money......even if a wife was like that, i'd tell you to divorce you cos she'll be the 1st to disappear once there's any sign of a financial storm coming your way...........
This part has left many men devastated or some even resort to suicides....
Actually i know of someone who jumped to his death because the next morning after he told his PRC wife he was gonna be declared a bankrupt .......when he woke up, she was already gone...wif all the valuables......he couldnt take this betrayal and the lowest point in his life, so he jumped...sigh........
Do I blame her...not really, he tot it was real too....we warned him from the start but he told us we dunno her, she's kind blah blah.....so we did wat we could as friends already, so he walked into his own grave at HIS OWN FREE WILL!

[colins]

When she's in your heart, you can't really see who she is. Cos our hearts simple do not have the ability to differentiate 'good' or 'bad', beneficial or otherwise to ourselves. You wrote a lot of how her ill-treatment towards you in detail, but frankly she is there because you are the man willing to pay for everything. When you remove the monetary support, you'll see who she is. That's what your relationship with her is all about, and it is real in that context.

[ekemono]

well explained bro DYBJ.

I have read you explaining countless times about the same thing but it seems every guy likes to lie to themselves that their gal have a reason for their acts. And that they lingers on tightly the belief that their gal is the special ones.
They hope dearly it was a misunderstanding. Thus, they seek opnion.

I tell you guys. No special one or you are the special one.
If she is only responds well when you provide enough monetarily and/or if her actions points oh so obvious that she is seeing someone behind your back..., dump her that instant.
Alot of guys held on because they cant bear to loose the good lust and living with loneliness.

Hey.., wake up. the mortal world judge you by your ability in related aspect, not lust and an undying love for that someone special. It is year 2009 liao

[fatty_leo]

Move on and Ditch her lah. This kinda gal you still wait for her to return? She make use of your soft spot for her to gain monetary benefit from you. To me, those so called 'business' deal in china are 99% bogus and you still choose to believe due to you 'love' for her. Give it some time and you'll be fine. From my personal experience, only time can cure you from her poison.;)

DO NOT GO BACK TO HER ANYMORE!

My guess tat she'll be calling you in maybe 2-3months time. Usually, they'll do that after they'd ditched another guy in similar case. As what other forumers mentioned they are leechers. Stay away unless you're very rich and not looking for real love:cool:

[phallusman]

Well, guess what? You will get a call from her, say 3mths or 1year later. That's the time when she needs some help from you - asking for money. She will be telling you some horseshit and crap - and you believe in her and the vicious circle starts again, that is if you're still Mr Fool.

When you does call, that is the time to ignore her COMPLETELY!!!!!

[dickster_99]

Bro,

Forget about her and move on. She simply treats you like a sucker and nothing else. What all these PRC want is $$$$ else they will not come all the way here to find their suckers. They are good in sweet talking which a lot of guys cannot resist.

[Sg_Lancelot]

Two words only "MOVE ON" she is not worth your effort

[silverblue]

by the way, how's the sex life with her?

[NewandLost]

Guys, you all made great points. Many which I acknowledge but have a hard time believing bucause I am clouded. I find myself coming to her defense sometimes. Guess the reason is I dont want to believe. Anyway Im doing better these days. Remember this was her attempt to get back together which I basically rejected. I let her leave the first time with high benefit of the doubt. Forgot to mention what changed is had met another gal who said she had a BF while we were dating but that guy had no $$. Im not sure whether to believe the other gal because I actually dated her for awhile as a rebound but lost interest and cut it off. The abscences bothered me a lot but this was also her way of coping with problems and sometimes the problems were caused by me. The ex had said many times she was not materialistic like her other GFs. I can honestly say her demands were more practical. Also when I met her she was not dressed well looked poor in my opinion and jsut striked me as a nice CH girl. I know the other type and steer clear. So maybe I was mistaken or things started to change quickly.

[HCKing]

TS it will be wise if u can heed bros advice and have a clean break with her. its obvious tat u r just ATM in her eyes. there r no 'things may turn better' or 'she may change 4 the better' in this case. its all clear as ice.

[xyman]

Just spend the money that you will be spending on her on other prc gals la.. u get to bonk and also buy some happiness...anyway u will be spending money.

U want to spend it and get the same fustrations and demands or spend it and get some happiness???..

[sammyboyfor]

Guys, you all made great points. Many which I acknowledge but have a hard time believing bucause I am clouded.

Instead of "clouding" yourself with all this sort of lovey dovey nonsense, why don't you concentrate on making a success of your life and achieving financial independence as quickly as possible.

Once you're retired with money in the bank, you can then start enjoying life to the fullest.

[FL Lover]

TS, you call yourself SAD MAN but how miserable are you as to compare to pple who alredy got cheated by their FLs gfs or KTVs gfs or even those who got themselves retrenched and constantly worrying for their next meals?

Are you crazy or what? Crying over someone who treats you like an ATM and yet dont even know how to cherish you. There are plently of gers around who might treats you better than her AT LEAST.

You have forgotten one very important thing... Why do a ger go back to KTVs or FLs again? There is only one reason and that reason is because you did not manage to give her what she wants and thats y she went back to her old trade..

My advice to you.... DUMP HER NOW, GET YOURSELF A GOOD GER, AND GO TO THE TEMPLE, PRAY TO GOD ON HOW LUCKY U R TO SEE HER TRUE COLOR BEFORE MORE DAMAGES ARE DONE. YOU ARE NOT IN THE WRONG.

[Panamera]

Bro T.S, cut loss and don't hope for improvement. Find a better one.

As mentioned in previous thread, a friend of mine was like you but was too clouded, he ended up marrying her and now he is more miserable than before. Bit by bit, his ex-WL wife showing true colors - Not single color but rainbow colors...

[NewandLost]

Thanks guys. This is helpful. Made me see the light. Reality out of the cloud. The bottom line is its hard to be interested in a woman (good or bad gal) motivated by only money, that causes so many emotional ups and downs for me. Just not someone I would marry. No way in hell would I let a woman bankrupt me nor destroy my friendships and family. I think I stepped into another world which is really dark and dont want to go that route again. Frankly no more PRC women period. Take my chances on more familiar turf where I know whats real and whats bull s it.

[NewandLost]

I recall one of the things said to me in the past was for CH women its common for men to spend all their money and then when there is no more left then the guy and the girl get married. This is what she told me. I was like you are insane.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Good that u see the lite.
Remember 2 things, you love her but she loves u not.
Thus u r weak to her...PERIOD.
2, there is a very high tendancy that she'll seek you out again, this, as another bro has warned you.

This period, clear your mind and build your own foundations and strength again, why?
Cos the time for meeting your demon will come again....
Pass that stage, can celebrate liao but 99% will fall back into it again cos she'll come and do things to make you weak again.

Good luck

[xyz1001]

Also some of the reasons why I think it was not an ATM play are she cried a lot when we parted, cried when I wouldn't cave into her requests. But I have also seen this girl disrespect me like after an argument the next day she wanted a new mobile phone. The other one really did drop in the toilet. Just confused and sad guys.

TS, there are many and i mean really many pple who are able to cry within 15 seconds... they are really good at what they do for a living...

I believe some of the bros here also reach this level long time ago :p

[NewandLost]

Thanks guys You are my strenght in dealing with this. So far so good but I have my moments. I can just see in my head and my heart how in the past tears would burst out. Can one really do that? I know I cant force myself to fake it. Having said that I have tried calling enough times before starting this tread and sort of think well if I reach out so much and its not reciprocated then someting is not right. Tearful gal turns into strong gal and no need to respond to calls and SMS'?

[Panamera]

Thanks guys You are my strenght in dealing with this. So far so good but I have my moments. I can just see in my head and my heart how in the past tears would burst out. Can one really do that? I know I cant force myself to fake it. Having said that I have tried calling enough times before starting this tread and sort of think well if I reach out so much and its not reciprocated then someting is not right. Tearful gal turns into strong gal and no need to respond to calls and SMS'?

Don't look back, move forward, find a right gal.

Your testing time will be "When she call you back", bookmark this thread of yours, come back here, reflect on it and strengthen urself. You will need to fight your own demonic voices when or if "she call you back"....your heart better not be soft and back to square 1 AGAIN.

Good luck to you. Bro T.S.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

tears would burst out. Can one really do that? I know I cant force myself to fake it.

Its easier than you think.
I for one have used this tactic on countless women from all parts of the globe.....kekekekeke

So for u, when she cries, u shud just react as hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
If you react as oh baby dun cry me here, me here...you're fucked!

[NewandLost]

Its easier than you think.
I for one have used this tactic on countless women from all parts of the globe.....kekekekeke

So for u, when she cries, u shud just react as hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
If you react as oh baby dun cry me here, me here...you're fucked!

But thats rather cold hearted if she is in fact a good girl. Like I said the demon or the good girl did already try to contact me for CNY but I declined. I figured as you guys said it was a major setup to be KCed, thinking about all the past times I gor disrespected but no answer, no apology, no defense of perceived or real cheating only didnt want to think about it nor discuss, its your imagination , etc.

So I called about the time i started this thread and the result has been no response. maybe i hurt her? But then again the reactions fall outside of the normal realm of thinking. That is why I have a tendency to beleive I dealt with the devil.

[Panamera]

Bro T.S, like I said in above post. Your heart will most likely to U-Turn when she call you...and all will be forgiven..

You are longing for her to call you back actually!!! It's your ego that is hurt, not your heart, it seems...

Think it be a lost cause for all the bros who have posted here....Sad..sad... :(

[NewandLost]

Guys its all good. You guys saved me from falling. Whether she is ex KTV or not, no woman that plays this kind of game deserves anything from me. It doesnt even sync with normal relationship or friendship behavior. Thing is I actually meet a lot of normal gals but still thought of the ex. Crazy. The "relationship" with this girl was very different from my past relationships in that with the others there were no money problems in play at all. Boy meets girl, boy dates girl, boy either chooses to marry girl or they breakup. Intents and desired outcomes were all well understood. IF either or both no longer wanted the outcome, the parting may have been tough but it was amicable and friendly and well understood. No mind games with culture as veil for lies, deception, etc.

The stories of people going bankrupt and suicide from the final knowledge of betrayal from this kind of thing are enough of a warning. I feel sad when I read those stories that you guys shared on this board.

My contribution to this board is my case. I hope those who read it learn and excercise a lot of caution even outside the realm of KTVs etc. IF a woman you meet wants to upgrade any facet for her lifestyle or material wealth while she is dating you then IMO its a weak cause for you to continue and the motivation is more greed than love. Yes you might get burned through divorce and lose a lot if the upgrade is after a union but at least she proved to you she would stick with you. One can argue PRC gals have different cultural values but even if that is the case, is it something you can live with? They live with men outnumbering women and where the woman wants to get the best financial deal possible. But you dont need to step into that game at all. In fact she should feel lucky you accept her into your life. If you two cannot meet each other half way on that aspect with total understanding then I would say the outcome will be very bad.

[NewandLost]

Bro T.S, like I said in above post. Your heart will most likely to U-Turn when she call you...and all will be forgiven..

You are longing for her to call you back actually!!! It's your ego that is hurt, not your heart, it seems...

Think it be a lost cause for all the bros who have posted here....Sad..sad... :(

There wont be a U turn. I wait a few weeks then flush my SIM card down the toilet.

[BKnight]

There wont be a U turn. I wait a few weeks then flush my SIM card down the toilet.

Bro, why wait few weeks? Still hoping....If within these few weeks, she call you, then how leh? :D

Anyway, Good luck and hope everything goes well with you!

[Peugeot]

BRO!! be a man lah.. Move on.. after you bonk a fine gal, you will forget all unhappiness. :p

[_AXL_]

There wont be a U turn. I wait a few weeks then flush my SIM card down the toilet.

yes, why wait for a few weeks??? flush it down now... and dont give her your new number. but i suspect that she knows where u live and she still has the ability to locate u. so, u have to be strong. when she comes back crawling, u have to steel your heart to reject her. do not allow her to come into the house if she turns up at your place.

cos i suspect u like familarity. once she hugs and kisses u the way u liked and missed, all your blood will go to your small head and give in to temptation. in order to get over her, u have to buck up, get pro-active, go out to make more new friends. if u cant find a nice girl on your own, more often than not, friends would be able to. most importantly, put yourself out there and get over the "laziness" of having her around.

u have been with this girl for a long time, thus it is understandable that u would miss her for quite a while. but, dont brood. go out there and enjoy your newfound freedom, and i suspect, u would suddenly find that u have a lot more money to spend now, now that u dont have to contribute to the bottomless pit. go spend it, pamper yourself, ya?

as for the CNY thingy, it is so expected, my friend. most single cheongsters here would know that such women would be very free during holiday periods, especially extended holiday periods. why??? cos their sugar daddies all have family commitments and thus unable to accompany them. that is why she called u then... cos her present ATMs r unavailable. do u want to be a substitute??? even if she loves u, she would only look for u when she (on the rare occasions) need some real tender and true loving... do u want to be that person???

if u do, my condolences to u then. otherwise, i would actually like to congratulate u for being able to escape from hell, relatively unscathed. nothing to be sad about. money can always earn back. treat it as a lesson learnt, but i do hope that this episode does not put u off love. there is still women out there worth your total trust and unconditional love. u just have to open your eyes wide next time.

take care. cheers.

[HCKing]

You are longing for her to call you back actually!!! It's your ego that is hurt, not your heart, it seems...

Think it be a lost cause for all the bros who have posted here....Sad..sad... :(

There wont be a U turn. I wait a few weeks then flush my SIM card down the toilet.

so zhun sia bro Panamera.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Classic case of 放不下
Thus the door is still opened to be FUBAR again

[deviltan]

If unto test whether she really likes u or just making use of u.
Simple lar! Just call her & sweet talk abit then tell her that u strike 4D 1st prize/6 numbers in TOTO or BIG SWEEP.
Tell her u got $$$ to buy anything for her.
MAYBE aft hearing this. She immd CRAWL back to u.
Then u will noe the answer liao!
Maybe not immd but will cho pattern that she still love u & etc.................

[fanaticd]

Let it go. what do you really like in her?
Why hold on to a blade of grass where you can have the whole f**king jungle.

if looks wise attract you, i suggest that you should take a trip to china and camp there for a few months. the better ones are all back in china. not all are like her as her main intention is always money and many prcs are been led astray by their girlfriends in singapore. always taking singapore man as roberts

there are still nice prcs out there in CHINA but not so many in SG (hehe... happen to know a few)

So don't feel sad anymore, let if go and move on. what done is done, just that you need to cut the blood supply off the leeches.

Oh! remember, if she say she loves you and blah blah blah, don't really believe, if you are unsure whether she got a BF or whatever, pay some money to hire a private detective, you will get the truth from there
Take care!

[NewandLost]

yes i got weak and tried callng her this weekend. gave benefit of the doubt. i also have some other problems and was looking on someone to lean on and stated so. no response refused to answer. what a heartless b tch. through all the help i gave this woman i get dead silence. removes all benefit of the doubt. removes all view of who and what she really was. nothing but a leech and gold digging PRC whore is how i view it. i feel lucky as f ck to be rid of her now. moving forward. when you hit bottom there is only one way but up and im free of the devil. thanks folks. just had to vent.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

yes i got weak and tried calling her this weekend. gave benefit of the doubt.
This is so expected, as many bros including me have already forewarned

i also have some other problems and was looking on someone to lean on and stated so.
Look between your legs...wat do you see besides that shaft of yours????? LumPah rite? Got? If so, why you need to lean on anyone?????? Be a man and stand up on your own 2 feet to brave the storm or storms......Problems...who dun have problems???????
Remember this, 什么都是死的，人是活的！
Everything have a solution, its how you wanna handle it only.
You can:
1) SOB SOB and hug someone to cry your probs out but you LL still gotta face it
Or
2) Think of how to resolve your probs.......

Eitherway, you gotta face it....that's called life!


no response refused to answer. what a heartless b tch. through all the help i gave this woman i get dead silence. removes all benefit of the doubt. removes all view of who and what she really was. nothing but a leech and gold digging PRC whore is how i view it.
What you expect her to do? Answer and say miss you, love you, want you back, cannot live without you????
Oh pls, there was never anything to give a benefit of a doubt at all in the first place, everything is so crystal clear, you just cannot let go cos you felt you invested $$$$$ and you cannot accept the truth of this revelation!

i feel lucky as f ck to be rid of her now. moving forward. when you hit bottom there is only one way but up and im free of the devil.
The devil is not her, the devil is within you, thus u keep falling from being AWAKENED and decide to be in darkness treating it as light

thanks folks. just had to vent.
There was nothing to vent!
If i were you, i'd bang my head on the wall and see if i bleed
If i do, good there is hope
If i dun, then i'll know i'm already DEAD!

[Panamera]

Bro NewandLost,

1 question: Are you of sound mind or a Nut job with spilt-personality?

Please re-read all your postings in this thread since you are thread starter.

You contradicted yourselves OVER and OVER again...

Whenever you were dispressed or rejected, you came back to this thread to find solace for Self-Comfort, Self-Console and Self-Cheer.

Sometimes you are T.S, sometimes you seems like toking to yourselves in a mirror, sometimes you seems like toking from an outsider point of view advising T.S (Which is YOURSELVES!!) and in other thread, you are a different person all together!!...:rolleyes::confused: so confusing....

Who are you now? Bro New? Bro And? Bro Lost? or Bro NewandLost?

Please go make an appointment with a Shrink before you do something harmful to yourselves or your gal, you got my drift?

[Gaofar]

Who are you now? Bro New? Bro And? Bro Lost? or Bro NewandLost?

Hahaha! Sounds to me that as of now it's Bro Lost... :D

Irregardless bro NAL (I've shorten it for you, see how cool?), I can understand as you've mentioned that you need closure or a listening ear (or ears in this case..) to your situation.. But do take heed that with you coming forth here and post your story, inevitably bros here will want to help you with suggestions and solutions to get you out of this problem of yours.. That said, it is because of the help rendered to you, yet you kept posting updates of your situations quite differently of how bros here advised you on, thus setting off some remarks that makes people thinks that you are an "egg-head with multi-persona"..

Put it in this way, words from bros here are well-meaning. It is not necessary to keep us updated in this way to let us know what are your current course of actions in "real-time".. Some things are better left not being written down for all to see. Just need to express your gratitude is good enough.

Cheers!

[Panamera]

Bro Gaofar, well-said.

How have you been? Haven't see you here lately...:)

[Gaofar]

Yo bro Panamera,

Heehee.. Actually I've just came back from China yesterday.. Been there for a week ++..

First time in China there though, but what an experience! Was at Shenzhen, then took the @#%$^ 8 hours train to Hunan.. Damn.. Had a taste of China people's culture (They are more kiasu than us!!), their mannerism (Cutting queues, anywhere spitting regardless how good that man or woman wears.. Classic..), and not to mention to stay in a rural village, on a mountain top at 10 to 5 degree celsius, but with tons of fresh air.. Just beautiful..

Oh, did I forget to mention about the "toilet" facility in the village? Simply put, a cess-pit which collects and being used to grow their vegetables out in their field.. Unforgettable.. :D

[Panamera]

Yo bro Panamera,

Heehee.. Actually I've just came back from China yesterday.. Been there for a week ++..

First time in China there though, but what an experience! Was at Shenzhen, then took the @#%$^ 8 hours train to Hunan.. Damn.. Had a taste of China people's culture (They are more kiasu than us!!), their mannerism (Cutting queues, anywhere spitting regardless how good that man or woman wears.. Classic..), and not to mention to stay in a rural village, on a mountain top at 10 to 5 degree celsius, but with tons of fresh air.. Just beautiful..

Oh, did I forget to mention about the "toilet" facility in the village? Simply put, a cess-pit which collects and being used to grow their vegetables out in their field.. Unforgettable.. :D

Something never change, ya...I remebered my 1st trip to China was way way back in 90s to Beijing as a young backpacker explorer,stayed there for a month before moving to North India for 2 months...went to the local zoo..when the ticket booth opened for sales, the tiny ticket counter hand-hole was filled with Hands! :eek: Everyone cut queues and all put their hands into the hand-hole (my hand got struck and cannot pulled out..kekeke) rushing for tickets!! Man! It's a zoo, for heaven sake, not a Linkin Park concert !! the animals will still be there, not runnig away!!! Toilet in rural village - what a sight and senses!!! But now I am used to it and pretty ok though but I missed the flood of bicycles and innocent gals then...:D

[Panamera]

Bro NAL, Sorry, we didn't mean to ignore your problems, we just got a little bit carried away by China adventure...hehehe...Please make a trip there and I bet you will be able to see your problem in a different light and life is not as gloomy as you are in now...:)

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Some things are better left not being written down for all to see.

I speak for myself.
I am not here to receive tks or gratitude.
I help advise with sincerity.
It's good that one pens down EVERYTHING, its from here that we see how he's doin.
End of the day, we can only advise, the last & final step, has to be undertaken by the dude himself!

[Gaofar]

You know something?..

China seems to be a fine place to be in actually.. It's infrastructure and technologies are advancing at break-neck speed.. Only what makes China of being stop-short of becoming a global superpower is its people.. Their socialism, behaviorism, ethics have much, way too much, to makeup for.. I mean, in the days that I was there and observed, even their own people have low or NO confidence in their police enforcements..

If they can overcome these problems, you see that they'll be the one leading the world instead of US..

[Panamera]

China seems to be a fine place to be in actually.. It's infrastructure and technologies are advancing at break-neck speed.. Only what makes China of being stop-short of becoming a global superpower is its people.. Their socialism, behaviorism, ethics have much, way too much, to makeup for.. I mean, even their own people have low or NO confidence in their police enforcements.. If they can overcome these problems, you see that they'll be the one leading the world instead of US..

Concur. As mentioned ealrier, in Mumbai last month, I rebuffed someone when he said that Mumbai is like China in the early 90s..I told him its more like 60/70s...At the speed, China is heading and being the largest lenders to US government, holding a 653 billion dollars of US Treasury bonds....China is awash with dollars with a growth rate 4x times that of the United States. My prediction is China is mounting a cherry-pick on the crown jewels of America's industrial empire at fire-sale prices soon and on its path to world power within 5 years!

[Panamera]

Bro NAL, Hi there! Thanks for the pm.

Apologize for any rude or offensive statement which caused you much discomfort or dismay.

Please continue to post your updates and thoughts in this thread. I be more sensitive and selective in my encouragement in future...

Be happy and chill! .:)

[Oceanlee]

You know something?..

China seems to be a fine place to be in actually.. It's infrastructure and technologies are advancing at break-neck speed.. Only what makes China of being stop-short of becoming a global superpower is its people..

If they can overcome these problems, you see that they'll be the one leading the world instead of US..

Back in the late 90's I backpacked to china from HK I travel to SZ. I can still remember clearly that shit of bridge is stink with urinated and just like the HK movies which you seen, although somepart of the cities had improved... and mind you I had travel all the way to innerland near the "GaoYuan" which is Highland. I autoroam for 1 month there. Now today when I travel to SZ and landed in their "BaoAn" airport and I tell you its not the people that is lacking behind, but rather the political climate and the western culture and the globalisation somehow or rather is still disadvantage to the chinese.

I had work with very knowledgeable and capable people, I tell you chinese saying "Ren Jie Di Lin" lands of talents there. And they are also humble folks, who do not "sound the GONGs just for a lil of pride" ;)

When I look at people of my age and their country youngmen .... I tell you that folks outside there are more Hungger for wisdom and knowledge than our this generation kiddos who stay in this tiny country. What I will call is that its reality life out there, whereas, over here, I sign and look around that will my next generation be able to stay afloat or not.
(coz my generation are more lacking alots, in terms of determination, focus, bite the bullet, never say DIE spirit, more important the respect due)

Indeed 1 who born in these tiny land are more bless, I still can recall the last day of my backpacker at the train station, child than is not even 3 yrs old .....tens and many of them .... just flocks to me, just because I give a "Shi ge Da Yang" to 1 children, and I end up giving my meals too.... haha.
Even with "sanctions' the chinese have the will to fly to moon, imagine without some restriction .... the chinese are a bunch of just like he ancient if I can combo them - (The Greeks Rich culture, the armies of Rome, the dawn of Persia, and the Knowledge and wisdom of Babylon) or the Eastern Jews.

Think I speak too much oredi ... haha .... paiseh. :D

[Panamera]

Bro Oceanlee, I did my backpacking adventure from HK too..perhaps, we bumped into each other before.
I was staying at Discovery Bay in HK....kekekeke

[2swirls]

You are just another mobile ATM machine to her, enough said.
Hate to say this, but I concur with your view

[2swirls]

First time in China there though, but what an experience! Was at Shenzhen, then took the @#%$^ 8 hours train to Hunan.. Damn.. Had a taste of China people's culture (They are more kiasu than us!!), their mannerism (Cutting queues, anywhere spitting regardless how good that man or woman wears.. Classic..), and not to mention to stay in a rural village, on a mountain top at 10 to 5 degree celsius, but with tons of fresh air.. Just beautiful..

Oh, did I forget to mention about the "toilet" facility in the village? Simply put, a cess-pit which collects and being used to grow their vegetables out in their field.. Unforgettable.. :D
Village life is very alluring because it brings back the fond memories of kampung life in Singapore.
BUT! even when I lived in kampung, we had full and proper sanitary facilities way way back in the 70s:D

Imagine doing your business and if you lean back slightly you can see the family in the hall chit chatting away. A shower is with solar powered heater is heaven.:p

[Panamera]

Kampung life Singapore-style with Village gals - China types aka Gong Li lookalike....

How wonderful ! :D:p

Who want to be a part-time farmers, anyone keen?

Oops...gotto stop day-dreaming..back to work work and more work....

[Gaofar]

Well, I've lived in Singapore kampong before though for a short period of about a year when I was young.. But seriously this is quite not the same like Singapore kampong as the weather and terrain there is... "speechless".. A whole village that lives on a mountain top at about 156m high and there's some more other families that lives even higher up.. :eek: Plus the coldness there, 2 shirts plus a coat is the bare minimum..

For all the differences mentioned, it's the village spirit or to us "kampong spirit" that is familiar to me as you can see families around just comes in to talk, being friendly and all.. Even the village teacher drops by to have a drink of wine to just chill at anyone's house.. Oh.. the wine? My god.. I swear that never again I'll try so fast to drink their wine as my head had never been that painful after a few rounds of their "homemade-health" wine.. I can normally hold myself even I had beer and liquor together.. But this.. is entirely another creature.. The "kick" comes slow, unlike liquor which is fast, but sure bloody gives me a long and painful headache that now still gives me shivers.. :p

[DO_YOU_BJ]

errrr....sorry, dun mean to be rude but kinda like running off topic liaozzzzz

[Panamera]

Wahahahahahaha!

T.S must be wondering.."I didn't ask for a tour in China, you know?" "I just want to understand a PRC, not People Republic of China"

T.S...hope I am not rude, no offend intended... :D

Bro Goafar, Oceanlee and 2swirls - Shall we discuss this "village" in a new thread...wahahahahahaha

[2swirls]

errrr....sorry, dun mean to be rude but kinda like running off topic liaozzzzz
No intention to broach on a diff topic

but I do think that the TS needs to take his mind off that.
If the response of the girl had been otherwise, perhaps it might be good to sorta bring him back on the road but the road he took to me seems to be a dead end with no good end.

Anyway, I am off to look @ other threads, cheers

[Gaofar]

I guess I was too carried away by my eagerness to share with others on my trip.. Sorry TS

By the way, where the hell has the TS's been? Haven't "heard" about him for quite some time..

[Panamera]

By the way, where the hell has the TS's been? Haven't "heard" about him for quite some time..

Think T.S was offended by my posting.

I got a pm from him. :o

[PuTonRen]

I recall one of the things said to me in the past was for CH women its common for men to spend all their money and then when there is no more left then the guy and the girl get married. This is what she told me. I was like you are insane.

No Money! No Honey!

[PuTonRen]

But thats rather cold hearted if she is in fact a good girl. Like I said the demon or the good girl did already try to contact me for CNY but I declined. I figured as you guys said it was a major setup to be KCed, thinking about all the past times I gor disrespected but no answer, no apology, no defense of perceived or real cheating only didnt want to think about it nor discuss, its your imagination , etc.

So I called about the time i started this thread and the result has been no response. maybe i hurt her? But then again the reactions fall outside of the normal realm of thinking. That is why I have a tendency to beleive I dealt with the devil.

Toughen up! I have gone through experience worst than yours.

There are good and honest girls, but the number is just too small that worst our risk. Like one brother said, you know all the answer on the questions that you posted in this thread. The problem that we men has is "Ego of possession". Admit failure costs nothing, and otherwise will end up in shit!

My 2 cent worth

[Kate]

sorry to hear about this. :(

[DO_YOU_BJ]

sorry to hear about this. :(

Kate, u got nottin better to contribute is it?
All your posts in 3 threads are meaningless and one liners
This is not the way to clock postings ok

Thread: Re: Advise Needed
try and remain strong.

Thread: Re: How to locate a girl on same flight
if have fate, will see again la :D

[NewandLost]

The problem that we men has is "Ego of possession". Admit failure costs nothing, and otherwise will end up in shit!

My 2 cent worth

That is very insightful. Really its ego driving irrationality. Also you cant change other people.

[Stud00]

Bro T.S,
Just one word of advice for you..
Move on...

Lust takes.. Love gives,
It's obvious that she's making use of you.

Cheers

[mike1304k]

I know of some people, not many, who have so much money, they do not mind spending tonnes on a FL, WL. They know that the lady's do not love them, only their money. But in return, they get a good f**k and someone who looks good hanging on their side.

Some guys try to be saints and try to help a lady, but in the end they end up being screwed.

Some guys just end up getting screwed without even the chance to screw.

It takes all types and it takes two hands to clap. I am sorry for the TS's situation and feeling. But sometimes we feel like we want to be a knight in shining armour and it leads us to fall on our own swords. It is ego lah. When the situation looks funny, we should be able to cut our losses and to go back to our path, but sometimes, ego leads us to give and when we have lost, ego also leads us to try to get back what we have lost and we end up losing more.

If a girl were to say I make her look cheap, I will not even react. I will just drop her. Because if I am giving her what I can afford and she thinks it is not enough, then truly, it will never be enough. I will only give her what I can afford to lose. This is for normal lady and for WL and FL. There is no difference. But once it is given, I do not expect anything back. If it comes back, lucky me... if not... too bad... good way to learn. Money lost can earn back.... Love lost can find again.... family lost will be difficult to mend... Wives divorced will cost you more than WL or FL will...

So for those who are married, just fling and forget.... For those who are single.. you are much better off trying to find it elsewhere. As for PRCs, not trying to make a sweeping comment, but seriously I heard a true story where a frustrated housewife screamed at a PRC why she was like that and her answer was... "There are so many millions of Chinese. To be able to get to the top or anywhere near the top, there is nothing they cannot do... and the only measure of success is... Money!!" These are the words from the horse's mouth brothers... This is a fact... not a myth... not a fallacy... So it is up to you to be careful. I have and do know many really good and honest PRC.. But these are also far and few in between. Again, not trying to make a sweeping statement and or putting someone down.

I hope that the TS will recover and move on.

[Rorschach]

I'm sorry to hear this tale of woe. I too, have been dealing with such issues but my experience has only spanned a few months.

Everyone says that PRC women in SG are just money grubbing whores - I wish that were not true but the mainland Chinese are simply realistic to a fault.

Many of us who fall for the wiles of PRC women are just "da gong zais" and it is simply impossible to upkeep them in the manner which they expect... I remember having a drink on the 87th floor of the Jin Mao tower in Shanghai and overhearing Beijing accented putonghua from two model-looking types. It was obvious that they were kept women and they were discussing their apartments that they stayed in. I was thinking that these two women, with their looks, were definitely doing well for themselves, but human greed is insatiable because shortly after I heard one of them saying "Why not you try to get to know his friend better, afterall, the friend owns 35% of the company compared to his 20%"

I have also spent serious cash on my PRC girlfriend and I don't regret it for one bit... I guess in some way or another, I traded money for her affection... because to be able to survive a PRC female you just have to understand one thing...

现实。

[PuTonRen]

I have also spent serious cash on my PRC girlfriend and I don't regret it for one bit... I guess in some way or another, I traded money for her affection... because to be able to survive a PRC female you just have to understand one thing...

现实。

Well said, Brother.

I had my fair share of mistakes and had spent some money, to no regret. I have been hardened by the reality. Sometimes, when a PRC girl wants me to be her 'lover', my answer is "when I am in China, you come and accompany me, and I shall compensate you". No more monthly maintenance, buying handphone, bags,...etc. For me, it is a "Take it or Leave it"case. If she does not accept, then split.

[dap26]

Well said, Brother.

I had my fair share of mistakes and had spent some money, to no regret. I have been hardened by the reality. Sometimes, when a PRC girl wants me to be her 'lover', my answer is "when I am in China, you come and accompany me, and I shall compensate you". No more monthly maintenance, buying handphone, bags,...etc. For me, it is a "Take it or Leave it"case. If she does not accept, then split.




Agreed..too much things they are expecting,how can we give them all they want...

[newbadass]

It takes all types and it takes two hands to clap. I am sorry for the TS's situation and feeling. But sometimes we feel like we want to be a knight in shining armour and it leads us to fall on our own swords. It is ego lah. When the situation looks funny, we should be able to cut our losses and to go back to our path, but sometimes, ego leads us to give and when we have lost, ego also leads us to try to get back what we have lost and we end up losing more.......

........If a girl were to say I make her look cheap, I will not even react. I will just drop her. Because if I am giving her what I can afford and she thinks it is not enough, then truly, it will never be enough. ............

Wow I really couldn't agree more. It's a point I am always trying to make.:D
Please remind me to up your points soon...

[Guy_Smiley]

You are just another mobile ATM machine to her, enough said.

I concur. :)

[etct88]

You are just another mobile ATM machine to her, enough said.

100% agreed

Try to understand that, and hate to say, in this game, we are all ATMs.

And I use this quote again, "Money can't buy love, but it improves your bargaining position".....

Just make sure it is within limits.........

And at the end of the day, happiness is pursued by individual in their own ways. No right or wrong. Experience is priceless, and cannot be bought. Going thru, will make you a better person...... hopefully (no pun)

choke dee.....:):)

[atomsgame]

ATM, yes agreed too.
Similar experience, but with a singapore gal of high maintenance LV Bags, Glasses, Cars, Clothes, Cosmetics, .... the list is endless....

Gave up after the limit burst..... invested about 2 years and alot of my saving... but gone is gone.... moving on is good for all ..........especially if ATM can no longer provide

Happiness is determine by yourself, no other people can make U happy or for the matter unhappy. Choice is what we have. And we have to decide. I have decided to live happily regardless.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Happiness is determine by yourself, no other people can make U happy or for the matter unhappy. Choice is what we have. And we have to decide. I have decided to live happily regardless.

Very very well said, upz u
Welcum back to the+ve world!

[PuTonRen]

Experience is priceless, and cannot be bought. Going thru, will make you a better person

Well said, Brother.

At my advanced age, I have seen, gone through and suffered, and my conclusion is what brother has said above. Learning through mistakes is a good thing, but provided you can withstand the consequence of the mistakes. Just like in gambling, those who finally won, are those who can afford to loose.

My 2 cent worth

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Good One, exactly what i needed to read bro DYB...
Hope it brought you some sense n direction towards your closure my dear.
Be strong and always remember wat i told u abt purging ya;)

[Gaofar]

Like that also can dig out har?.. Like reading a 10-years series man.. Good for your patience and insistence! :)

[asdfghjkl]

yea, i also surprised to see that! :)