Your opinion matters

[ahboi86]

Hi bros , im currently in a relationship with my gf for almost 4 years liao . i would have to say i care for her but i think i might be love her as much as i should.

The reason why i say this is because even though im with her i've visited FLs before and it pains me to say this but i enjoy their company more than hers . i also miss a bachelors lifestyle ( happy go lucky)

what should i do ? and if u suggest break up (how can i do this so i dont hurt her ? ) as she loves me a lot , and i do care for her

[colins]

The grass is always greener on the other side. If you aren't content with what you already have, then you will always be looking at what you dun have. Going to FL doesn't help, by the way.

[mike1304k]

Hi TS,

I won talk down to you or tell you how to live. But lets face it. Going steady, being engaged, getting married... What is the difference of these few phases of a relationship? It is just a name!

When you like someone, you want to have a long term relationship with him or her. When we are young, we equate love = sex (and the more sex = more love). But it is also a commitment.

Let me ask you this question, if your girlfriend cheated on you, if your wife cheated on you, how would you feel? So isn't it the same as what you are doing now? Like Bro Collins said, the grass is always greener. But the moment we start to prefer greener grass instead of our own patch's grass, then we have to relook the situation and think of the best step forward.

You mentioned that you like the bachelor way and the freedom, bro, won't it be the same if you get married? When you make a commitment to someone, be it to be their boyfriend or husband, you made a commitment. So if you have a problem with the commitment, either you re-align yourself back and make sure you try to do your end of the bargain or you just call it quits and let the girl go. And also if you keep bonking WL or FL and if you catch some disease, please do not pass it to your GF!

As guys, we are wired to want an extra cookie once in a while and I am sure as hell guilty of having cookies. But at least I do not make having cookies more fun than loving my wife.

[pewpew]

Whenever you wanna fool around, just remember these words....

GF/WIFE is there to accompany you to walk your life, share your joy, happiness and worries...
They will tell you straight in the face whenever you did something wrong hoping that you can improve and learn from your mistake...

FL/WL is there to dry your pocket, wallet and bank, causes you trouble, worries and sadness after you got KC'ed.
They will tell you how good you are, how sweet you are and praises you to the 7th heaven so that you will keep making the same stupid mistake again...

[jon2000sg]

Life is a paradox !

Those who are married wants to get out

and those single wants to get married !!! ???


After these years of cheonging, how I wish I have

found someone to share my life. Now alone hardly

anyone care for me

[pewpew]

After these years of cheonging, how I wish I have found someone to share my life. Now alone hardly anyone care for me

Still got friends mah... :)

[groo]

Still got friends mah... :)Will NEVER EVER be the same... period! :p

[denieliu]

[QUOTE=jon2000sg;3800788]Life is a paradox !

Those who are married wants to get out

and those single wants to get married !!! ???


AGREED!!! so contradicting isn't it?
:o

[leecs]

Life is a paradox !

Those who are married wants to get out

and those single wants to get married !!! ???



PRASS 1!!! I agree with this... :p

[incomplete]

Hi bros , im currently in a relationship with my gf for almost 4 years liao . i would have to say i care for her but i think i might be love her as much as i should.

The reason why i say this is because even though im with her i've visited FLs before and it pains me to say this but i enjoy their company more than hers . i also miss a bachelors lifestyle ( happy go lucky)

what should i do ? and if u suggest break up (how can i do this so i dont hurt her ? ) as she loves me a lot , and i do care for her


how can you equate the two? No FL will support you emotionally.

Time to grow up and get your priorities right.

[suteerak1099]

u had it going smooth for 4yrs running, so why rock the boat now for something that is intangible, nor can u be certain that any new venture can guarantee u the same returns (or more)? just live with it, fun & games can still take place on the side.

u can be fulfilled with plain & simple staple meals for a long time, surely u can't be having candies for staples, can u? besides, too much candies guarantees u multiple return visits to the doctor later.

[suteerak1099]

deleted - repeat post

[Tai_zi21]

Let mi assume here u are 23 years old?

still like to cheong? how many 4 years u can waste?

被爱是辛福，爱人是痛苦

Settle down still also can chiong but just always remember that there always someone waiting for you at ur own home...

[NewandLost]

Whenever you wanna fool around, just remember these words....

GF/WIFE is there to accompany you to walk your life, share your joy, happiness and worries...
They will tell you straight in the face whenever you did something wrong hoping that you can improve and learn from your mistake...

FL/WL is there to dry your pocket, wallet and bank, causes you trouble, worries and sadness after you got KC'ed.
They will tell you how good you are, how sweet you are and praises you to the 7th heaven so that you will keep making the same stupid mistake again... right on braddah, you got it right. the op is a fool if he chooses the latter over GF/WIFE. even if you think your GF is not the right one for you, to choose the FL/WL is just foolish. your GF is likely to stand by you when you need her. The FL/WF will disappear without a trace after you are fleeced. yeah you get your enjoyment form her for a few hours but its all fake on her part and in your imagination and fantasy in your head. when the reality hits you, she will be gone braddah.

[singbro]

your relationship is going steady... she loves you...you care about her... bro it is better to continue lah.

[hoho99]

TS, its better to be loved than to love.

I was like you with a gf(together for almost 5 years), felt than she is a bit to assertive(Well, girls are human being too, they will have a mind of their no matter their skin color, education level, age) and a little controlling. Many times she ask me to make decisions but in the end she's not too happy about it.

So after 4 years i decided to go outside to steal eat a bit. Somehow after a while she decided enough is enough and break off with me.(maybe her sixth sense tells her i steal behind her back) Initially i felt a sense of freedom. Can do anything i wanted. Can bonk any fl, wl i fancy. But after a while i become very lonely(Especially after seeing people around you settling down one.) Realize no one cares about me like my ex. In the end fall into KC trap, somemore its the kind of textbook entry level KC trap. I still willing to walk straight into it.

Now it hurts more than when my ex is telling me she is breaking up with me. So TS its better to lead a simple love life with someone worth it, than to let KC have any opportunity to stick a knife in your heart. Then you will know what it feels like to be not able to eat, sleep, work and think of nothing whole day but pain.

[D_Silver]

The reason why i say this is because even though im with her i've visited FLs before and it pains me to say this but i enjoy their company more than hers . i also miss a bachelors lifestyle ( happy go lucky)

You enjoy sex with others more than with your own partner. Many men are guilty of that. Doesn't really mean you don't love her.

Also realise that even if you broke up with her or find another girl, you'll probably end up looking for FLs becoz you did it before.

You can find ways to improve your sex life with your GF. Sure, there are FLs with better boobs, better suction, better moans but can you get the kind of connection you have with your GF, someone you love?


what should i do ? and if u suggest break up (how can i do this so i dont hurt her ? )

You can't break up with someone who loves you without hurting her. If you know how, please educate me.


she loves me a lot , and i do care for her

Read this a hundred times and you'll get your answer.

[tuxedosam]

So TS its better to lead a simple love life with someone worth it, than to let KC have any opportunity to stick a knife in your heart. Then you will know what it feels like to be not able to eat, sleep, work and think of nothing whole day but pain.

whoa...was touched by the last bit la...though i've never once been a sucker for tarts and their parlour tricks and am quite sure i'll never let some cheap whore get within even a mile of pulling off some second-rate game of bullshit emotional entrapment...but i can definitely understand the bit about the rare sorta state of total functional disability one can sink into sometimes, even if the circumstances of the 'betrayal' yours truly here had suffered were probably vastly different. bro, you definitely have my sympathies (and my humble points). sound advice too. treasure what truly matters, not some shallow and superficial illusion. cheers.

[hoho99]

whoa...was touched by the last bit la...though i've never once been a sucker for tarts and their parlour tricks and am quite sure i'll never let some cheap whore get within even a mile of pulling off some second-rate game of bullshit emotional entrapment...but i can definitely understand the bit about the rare sorta state of total functional disability one can sink into sometimes, even if the circumstances of the 'betrayal' yours truly here had suffered were probably vastly different. bro, you definitely have my sympathies (and my humble points). sound advice too. treasure what truly matters, not some shallow and superficial illusion. cheers.

Bro, thank you for the pts, and i thank the heavens for keeping you safe from any KC so far. But if you don't mind a humble suggestion, 'Please guard you heart fiercely against any sob or life stories from the girls no matter how true it is. Once you feel like helping, KC will crept in and bid its time to stab you in the heart when it hurt most.’

All I ever did was to bring girl see doctor when she falls sick, and some extra tips to cover her rental when she needed it most. KC comes and strike without me even knowing it. Lucky there is a senior brother here who bothers to listen to me talk and offer me advices in my most difficult times. Now in the mist of cold turkey and it’s not easy at all.

So to any people out there who thinks there is always Prc, thai, viet should you and your currently oc/gf dosen’t work out. Please think again, really really think again. The girl ay be good, you may be even better, but once the setting/scenario of the time when you both first met up is wrong, it becomes very wrong liao. And it is very difficult to make it right.

[rogerlim]

At different crosswords of our life, we want different things. My friends use to go and chiong when he just married while leaving his wife at home, they pretty much go into so much fight until they almost file for divorce.

But i guess they did truely love each other eventhough they have differences. I guess currently what kept them together is their 2 year baby boy.

[cinos74]

Hi bros , im currently in a relationship with my gf for almost 4 years liao . i would have to say i care for her but i think i might be love her as much as i should.

The reason why i say this is because even though im with her i've visited FLs before and it pains me to say this but i enjoy their company more than hers . i also miss a bachelors lifestyle ( happy go lucky)

what should i do ? and if u suggest break up (how can i do this so i dont hurt her ? ) as she loves me a lot , and i do care for her

dun waste people time n ya own time. If u still enjoy the time with FL more than hers. I think u are not ready to cross the line with her... maybe she not the one who can hold u down. Loving a gal n death-do-us-part is different issue.

what if another 4yrs on, n u still prefer life as a mustang? you wanna drag her with u?

For the rest of the guys who have wifey/gf n still do FL, its only just pure fun, or fire n forget.;)

[Butane]

bro ts, my take is, you must be clear of fl/wl and your gf/wife.

play play ok liao. don't get too much involve.

[euritage]

i gave up my 5 year gf for an FL... and it became a shithole...

refer to thread http://www.sammyboyforum.com/matters-heart/135934-am-i-cheated-vietnamese-gal.html

[leecs]

Did you really do that?

[kwaychup]

why give up a perfect r/s for FL/WL?
nothing beats a caring gf :)

are you bored of your r/s with your gf?
but more importantly why are you having this kinds of feelings towards your r/s?
is your gf not giving you enough "personnel space" of your own?
why not try to get a time out period with her?

also i feel that TS is trying to compare his gf bed skills with the WLs aka the quote " but i enjoy their company more than hers "
but TS, WL/FLs are professionals in this line, it's their job to make you enjoy their company.

i think you should try to find back the honeymoon period with your gf.
or you are just like me now, going into the commitment stage.

[HCKing]

TS, even if u dump yr gf for another one nw, i believe all will be the same again after another 4 yrs down the road. if yr gf is giving u hell then by all means dump her but if she loves and cares 4 u then u shouldnt dump her and lives with regrets later. caring gf r hard to find these days liao.

[cinos74]

I think its more like a case of
Bach Freedom vs Relationship

[RolfBenz]

You have to treasure what you have in hand. It's always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Don't end up like a rolling stone and cycle will repeat itself again coz u will never be satisfied with just one pussy :)

[groo]

... relationship with my gf for almost 4 years...i've visited FLs before and it pains me to say this but i enjoy their company more than hers . i also miss a bachelors lifestyle...what should i do ? and if u suggest break up (how can i do this so i dont hurt her ? ) as she loves me a lot , and i do care for her

She loves you a lot and after 4 years, how can you not break up without hurting her?

Ask yourself this: After 4 years and she decides to dump you, will you not get heartache? If you can conscientiously say no, then go ahead and break up with her. Don't drag the relationship further and hurt her even more if you finally decide to break up with her when she's old, haggard and can't find herself another even better man than you. And once you've decided, no regrets because you yourself are responsible for the consequences whether they turn out good or bad.

Why I say this is because I have an uncle who was in a similar situation many years ago. He used to have a steady gf for 9 years. He finally married another girl and broke off with the 1st gf. He compensated by giving her family 5 wedding dinner tables. Of course, he got cursed and sworn. He kena retribution. He lost his high-paying job in the oil industry, lost money in several biz ventures and finally, even divorced.

I'm not cursing you. Just telling you, give your situation a good thought. There are many pages and threads here on similar stories. Go through them to help you get a clearer picture and clear your doubts.

A wife vs a fl/wl is like a main dish and a side dish at the dining table. Notice how many times, the side dishes are usually finished while the main dish is not? The side dishes are just that - fillers and snacks, just like the fls/wls. They'll never fulfill your hunger. The main dish, your gf/wife, is the one that fills you up, although you can't always finish them.

So at the end of the day, we are talking about fulfilment. Not some spur-of-the-moment lust trips with the fl/wls. Like one bro pointed out, they are there to fulfill your fantasy and ego trips. Once you finish, wake up! :D

What is love? It's not just kisses, sex, hugs, boobs, orgasms, romantic notions and what nots many people often relate to. It is caring and showing concern, giving support and praises to each other, providing a listening ear when necessasry, and most important of all, being there when your other half is down and out... :p

So take heed and hope you make the right decision. Cheers! ;)

[708peng]

Bro. Very well said!

[BKnight]

ts missing in action? didnt see his reply since his 1st post more than a month ago. hope he made the wise decision.

[starstar]

Sorry but I was too lazy to read all the posts, if the thread starter can understand Mandarin,

妻不如妾，妾不如偷，偷不如偷不着

"My wife can never be better than those mistresses outside and my mistresses can't be much better than those of my clandestine love affairs and such affairs aren't a match to those women that I fantasied and can't laid my hands on"

[alvinlsk]

bro u got a steady gf oredi so u must b grateful ok..many single n horny guys out there r willin 2 pay 4 fls.y?bcoz dey use $ 2 buy their loneliness n sense of belongin 2 sum1,which is wat u had already now.dat sum1 u can share ur sense of belongin n loneliness.(ps..dis note doesnt represent all entire guys out there,its just my personal note).so bro,take good care ur gf ok!

[lamtaetae]

A bird in hand is better than many in the bush.

You can always caged the one in hand and then go after those in the bushes, hahahah....Win/win situation....