Ode to the Nice Guys

[watmidoin]

saw this article on the net. really ode to all the nice guys out there :)

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003

[benjamin00000]

Can have a summary? ;)

[Noobie]

Can have a summary? ;)

simply, nice guys get no girls :(

[uglyger]

i like nice guyz...i m tired of bad guyz...all jerkz :mad: hope to find a nice guy somedae

[·Ïñ§ØmÑ¡â·]

i like nice guyz...i m tired of bad guyz...all jerkz :mad: hope to find a nice guy somedae

I super nice guy...always kana dump jialat jialat...so sad.

[MachoDevilX]

Wow.. This is such a nice journal..
I have already up your reps for sharing such nice journal... :cool:

After reading it, I agree up to a certain extent... It really depends on what type of girls do guys want. If we think about it, we will find that it is probably the same to girls as well... Nice girls sometimes finished last? Or probably won't ever finished.. Have you taken a look at the girls around us? Those girls who are really nice and treat us really well but then their looks are below average.. Will we bother to think of being together with them or even marry them? Some of the guys will, but only if there are chances that allow the guy to understand the girl and hence, looks will be secondary... But there must be fate for the guy to be able to notice the girl's good points in order to understand her and know that she is nice... Since usually guys will tend to take more notice on pretty girls, or at least average girls, therefore, there wouldn't be any moments where guys will take notice of the below-average looking girls...And needless to say, to get to understand them, unless it's really fated...

Guys will usually say that nice guys will be at a disadvantage. I agree but it depends on what guys want for themselves... It was always in most of our mind that we feel that other guys are not better than us.. the guy who are together with the girl you love, is no good, he's a jerk etc... But have we think about it ourselves... Whether we are any better??? Human beings always able to see the bad points in others but not themselves...

Very often, most guys will feel that if a girl is being together with a rich and handsome guy, the girl is materialistic... But the guy could be treating the girl very well and with respect.. And hence, the girl likes the guy and not just his $$.. Rich guys can be gentlemen and nice as well.. Maybe it's because of TV series whereby they have cast an impression that rich guys are flirts and jerks... But in actual fact, it might not the case. It realy depends on individuals... If a girl leaves her current bf and get together with a guy who is rich, everyone will think that she is bad and materialistic. But have we thought for the girl? The rich guy may love her truly and treat her really well... Shouldn't she choose someone whom she loves? Don't she has the right to choose someone who can take good care of her for the rest of her life?

If we think in terms of guys, if there are two girls who equally love you and treat you well, and both girls are equally educated... But one is pretty and one is below-average looking.. Which one will you choose? :rolleyes:


Most girls also go for looks as well.. Although they always deny that but then they will add in a line that at least must be comfortable (sun yan)... That's why I feel that regardless of guys or girls, we should take a look and understand those people who are by our side, regardless of their looks. We should treat it as if we are blind. Blind people can't see but they can feel. They can feel who really treat them well and who really care for them.. Who is the nice guy/girl...

[nirvana]

saw this article on the net. really ode to all the nice guys out there :)

Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal


Fu-zu Jen, SEAS/WH, 2003


read my signatute, ' i care abt u ' too

nirvana

[cbjuiceyumseng]

Sometimes i wonder whether am i a nice guy or a bastard? :D

[nirvana]

Sometimes i wonder whether am i a nice guy or a bastard? :D

for my case, i can only be one.. u can either find me nice , or find me idiot. i can never be in between :D

[Big Sexy]

Trust me... i am a nice guy! :D

[poolhot.]

Big Sexy Trust me... i am a nice guy!

That case I am the nicest guy!!!!!!!! :D

[Big Sexy]

wow.. mr nice... how abt add my points then :D

That case I am the nicest guy!!!!!!!! :D

[earth]

That case I am the nicest guy!!!!!!!! :D

nice guy, help me reach 3 digit? :D

[Big Sexy]

queue up hor... i first..
:)
nice guy, help me reach 3 digit? :D

[vesfreq]

Sounds like a pretty interesting article and offers a renewed point of view about "nice guys".

Best is not to get entangled with those materialistic girls, bottomline.

[poolhot.]

wow.. mr nice... how abt add my points then :D

No problem Mr Sexy..... can U return me too? :D

Up U liao.

[Big Sexy]

thanks bro... i exercise my power for you after 24 hours also... :)

That case I am the nicest guy!!!!!!!! :D

[watmidoin]

yo bro macho, i juz cut n paste. really paiseh to accept 4 pts :o u wrote a good essay. added u to list of bros to up rep. (sian. now got 3 in waiting list. duno need how many days to fulfill this promise...)

ur first paragraph about nice gers i totally agree. myself guilty of that. and retribution on me is never realising it until too late. she found her fated man who's a nice guy. good for her.

but not so agree with ur statement in bold. i tink from time to time ppl will stop and look at themselves (usually at new years and birthdays). these self reflection periods allow us to find our own faults. i think its just much much more easy to find bad points in others than ourselves.

the next para abit too much info in too little space. sigh. online forum, not convenient to write long essays. so its boh bian i guess. don't know enough "gong zi ge". anyways, agree dat generalisations about all rich ppl not being gentlemen is obviously not fair. but of the few I see around me, only 2 in 7 are real gentlemen. and they have a tough time finding a gf because its very difficult for them to see whether the ger loves them or their money. some gers can act real well!

If we think in terms of guys, if there are two girls who equally love you and treat you well, and both girls are equally educated... But one is pretty and one is below-average looking.. Which one will you choose?
trick question. I almost wanted to say the one i feel more happy and comfortable with but that is answering loopholes and not the Q. haha cause there's really juz one answer if u want to put them totally equal except for looks. its primal. guy, ger or animal its the same thing.

the way society puts so much emphasis on beauty had lowered our ability to appreciate other qualities. they are still around but usually need some trigger to arouse. but beauty is also primal. read somewhere that beauty is associated with good health and thus stronger offspring. a better chance for a successful continuation of your genes. but the human invention of virtue complicates matters since beauty is not often seen as a virtue.

i like nice guyz...i m tired of bad guyz...all jerkz :mad: hope to find a nice guy somedae
yo ger. dun look so angry lar (although some gers look very sexy when angry). something to say which might not please u or might even hurt you but better let u know den allow u chance of relapse.

i read u go irc look for romance. wah kau. u go irc look of course get burn lar. irc and chatlines are full of ppl such as me. we are there very often for lust!

guys, whether nice or not are all over the place. sometimes will have ppl juz fall in love with u for no reason. sometimes u have to put in a little effort to make them love u. but giving man sex is not the way. so often said liao. man have two heads. giving sex only makes the dick head fall in love with you. more important is to make the big head addicted to you. wish you continue with your new life well. and hope actblur gets u a good vibrator :P

(so sian. how come can only put two smileys???)

[uglyger]

I super nice guy...always kana dump jialat jialat...so sad.

yea rite u nice...u r one realli realli BAD n HORNY guy...hahahahha scare ger away...i also scared of u :p

[tittyhawk]

yea rite u nice...u r one realli realli BAD n HORNY guy...hahahahha scare ger away...i also scared of u :p

Halo...hows yr day? :)

[poolhot.]

yea rite u nice...u r one realli realli BAD n HORNY guy...hahahahha scare ger away...i also scared of u :p

Then are U scared of me too?????? keke

[uglyger]

(so sian. how come can only put two smileys???)

hahhaha... too bad...:P

[uglyger]

Halo...hows yr day? :)

typing out my own notes for one of my modules

[cbjuiceyumseng]

ANYONE TO GO GEYLANG TO RELEASE SPERM ?

[jeronimo]

simply, nice guys get no girls :(
It reminds me of a t-shirt I saw
Good girls go to heaven,
Bad girls go everywhere!

There is also a Chinese saying - Girls don't dig good guys and go for the bad boys

[tanner132]

Then are U scared of me too?????? keke

No wonder neber see you the other side. Come here and sian MM. :p

[poolhot.]

No wonder neber see you the other side. Come here and sian MM. :p

I nice guy lar....... Tlak to gal not sianzzzzzz.

I go where U also can find. How to hide from U??????? Haizzzzzzzzz

[tanner132]

I nice guy lar....... Tlak to gal not sianzzzzzz.

I go where U also can find. How to hide from U??????? Haizzzzzzzzz

You dunno that night I planted a detector with you hor... hiak hiak hiak :cool:

[watmidoin]

weekend at home and nothing to do. so did some more thinking on what it means to be a nice guy/ger (popular topic for the past week). and what ppl are looking for when they say they wana find a nice guy/ger. (discussions should apply to both sexes as we share similar experiences and frustrations.)

when i first stumbled upon this forum almost a yr ago, i wasn't expecting much since stereotypes didn't give people who dwell in commercial sex much credibility. but any samster who had been around knows of the unwritten code of honour. The good samsters who give out good advice, give a different point of view and take care of newbies. There is indeed an honorable brotherhood here. in fact, from wat they show of themselves here, many bros/sis could easily qualify for the nice guy/gal tag. (Tell this to anyone else along the streets and they'll probably say you are crazy. "where got such thing as honorable ppl in the commercial sex scene?")

and this led to the deadlock of whether ppl who cheong can actually still be a nice person. (we have enuf proof dat ppl who dun cheong can be complete assholes already. but we shan't discuss that.)

imagine people who love and take good care of their spouse. the wife/husband fell ill and they took leave to bring her/him to doctor. they spend quality time with the kids. but alas! they have a tremendous sex drive that could not be satisfied by their spouse. commercial sex and ons offered sex without obligation (except $$$ and some respect for the ger/guy). they go there to release their urge and feel guilty each time but they are mentally too weak to control. they hide it from their spouse because the truth will hurt. is such a person necessarily bad? or are they still eligible to be nice guy/gal? the same me one year ago will answer "wat rubbish". now, i m writing this :confused:

A question without a simple yes/no answer but juz wana hear the views.

[jeronimo]

and this led to the deadlock of whether ppl who cheong can actually still be a nice person. (we have enuf proof dat ppl who dun cheong can be complete assholes already. but we shan't discuss that.)
.....................
.....................
A question without a simple yes/no answer but juz wana hear the views.
I believe you have just related a real life scenerio of the Robin Hood
He robs the rich and corrupted to disseminate to the poor civilians and is termed a thief
It may not be the best example but it goes to show that doing the right thing thru a wrong method or the wrong thing with a right intention

When you seek to relief the urges and stress you betray your spouse but on the other hand its also a way to maintain the balance of the marriage too

I don't think there is a straight yes/no, right/wrong debate.

[JAXXX]

It reminds me of a t-shirt I saw
Good girls go to heaven,
Bad girls go everywhere!

There is also a Chinese saying - Girls don't dig good guys and go for the bad boys

Personally i feel that girls only look for the nice guys after they finish their tour of duty with a few bad boys.

Being a nice guy is like being in the reserve team. :p

[waypastprime]

Haizzz... No wonder I'm left on the shelf... Need more than one blower to get rid the cobwebs on me... :eek: :D

[tittyhawk]

You dunno that night I planted a detector with you hor... hiak hiak hiak :cool:


Sian MM? where where?? :confused:

[mtkpnmpk]

A toast to all nice guys.
Hope all brothers have better luck and opportunities this 2005.
Cheers.

[Klown]

It really doesn't pay to be nice. I spent many years of my life being "the nice guy" all that happens is I get made used off. All my friends gf think I'm really nice and wonder why I have no one of my own. Simple answer is no car and no good job. Though I do have wealthy parents and live a comfortable life, I never let that show. I don't want a girl to like me because of money.

Here's the shocker! Good things don't always happen to good people. Just because we don't a good deed, doesn't mean we will get something in return even though we deserve it.

I just feel so tired of seeing the scumbags of life around me enjoying life without their morales and responsibilities. I must say they seem much happier than me.

Just last year I gave up. I starting visiting FLs and HC. I try not to have anymore females friends that treat me as an older brother. I still care about them, but it's getting tired when they tell me I'm like their brother. But I am still not happy. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. Just waiting for this life to end. I was once nice, now no more...

[watmidoin]

Just last year I gave up. I starting visiting FLs and HC. I try not to have anymore females friends that treat me as an older brother. I still care about them, but it's getting tired when they tell me I'm like their brother. But I am still not happy. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. Just waiting for this life to end. I was once nice, now no more...

Yo, u sound like a sad Klown :( don't be so sad lar. i'm sure u r not the only one :) wake up and live a new ful-filliing life. watch one of those charity shows and you'll see people in more pathetic state than u. they have nothing to live for but they keep going. take strength in knowing you have alot already.

[medicheng]

nice guy always lose out in getting a good girl one... used to it liao....

[Optimus_Prime]

It really doesn't pay to be nice. I spent many years of my life being "the nice guy" all that happens is I get made used off.

Just last year I gave up. I starting visiting FLs and HC. I try not to have anymore females friends that treat me as an older brother. I still care about them, but it's getting tired when they tell me I'm like their brother. But I am still not happy. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. Just waiting for this life to end. I was once nice, now no more...

Aiyo take it easy lah bro klown.

... I do agree to a certain extent that nice guys finish last and the chinese saying "guys not bad, woman not love"

But know that everything in life balances out, what comes round goes around. WLs are not the place to look for love (believe me I noe) and it seems you have many good "sisters"so just pluck up courage and go for them lah. just rem... U only LIVE once but how do u want to LIVE it ?

[Flinger2]

I have always being a nice guy. But what I get in return is the following:

1) Cheated

2) They will cry that the guy is bad to them and pour and expect emotional comfort from you. But they will go and bonk the other guy after they pour it all out.

3) They want my advice, comfort and everything else you expect in a relationship but just not physical stuff. Thats reserved for the other guy who is using them.

4) You are always their friend, brother etc..etc..and nothing more. Basically they use you when they need you .

My last ex taught me a womderful lesson. I was super cautious with her. But she broke me down to actually fall in love with her emotionally and express my feelings and feel for her . She said she couldn;t trust anyone like the way she trusts me and she felt so safe with me like never before and all that Jazzy Jazz. Once I opened up and actually stated calling her and satisfying her in every way, she started to change. Also, whenever she called me, its often that I was a bootiecall her for ger. Although she disguised it so very well. Then she got bored of me, and she behind my back started to get to know another guy. I never knew all this. Here I was trying to make sure the relationship works out , and that she doesn;t get hurt becoz she was really hurt in her previously relationship etc.. she was in return paying me back by cheating on me.

After this woman, I decided I am not gonna trust another woman, no matter what they say or do, becoz, when you emotional give yourself to the person, man, these woman just trash you. You need to have control over yourself, if they start treating you different, talk to them, if they start acting up. Just tell them and leave. No more giving face to them. If you're a bitch, treat you like a bitch.

Also, I never cheated, played a fool, or did anything when a girl was drunk. I actually took care of them. But now, I don't give a damn anymore. If I think you're a bitch, I would treat you like the bitch you need to treated on.

How do you know if a girl is a bitch or not. Easy. Talk to them as a nice guy, you'll find it out. They actually tell you what they did etc.

Woman are never to be trusted with emotionally. Its not their fault. They are emotionally driven. Logic doesn't work for them. So no use being nice to them.

Just my opinion.

Flinger2

[Lau Chek]

[QUOTE=Optimus_Prime]Aiyo take it easy lah bro klown.

... I do agree to a certain extent that nice guys finish last and the chinese saying "guys not bad, woman not love"
QUOTE]

i raise my hand to agree to that.
happens to me once, few years back when I was 23. and she's 19. very chio gal who I met her in Sparks and she just broke off with her bf that time.
we went dating for couple of time and finally one day ended up in her house that night. A semi-D , father loaded. She said if one day when she get married, her parent will sponsor her everything cos she's the only daughter..
of course I act highclass by saying it's nothing but feeling lucky lor.
She told me that night about her bf and how she moans during sex with him, and that her body esp. her back is not as smooth ( got the hint?) .
Guess what I do next?
I actually told her that since she just had a broke off, she should'nt be jumping into another relationship so fast (which is not what I want actually), and until today I still don't believe I said that. shit.
That night, I sent her home, worst she found a ktv namecard of the tuberose mamasan-ling ling in my car. she kept quiet.
The next day, her pager & hp was off. think she had took my advise to reconsider her relationship. :(
should I did something that night, will it be different ? today I might not be working so jalat liao.
Opportunities don't come always, once it happens to knock your door, make sure your grab it tight. same applies to work.
cheers

[lawry]

[QUOTE=Optimus_Prime]i raise my hand to agree to that.
happens to me once, hahahhaha.. brudder, one tiger beer on me... :) u damn STOOPID!!!

[japboy]

I actually told her that since she just had a broke off, she should'nt be jumping into another relationship so fast (which is not what I want actually), and until today I still don't believe I said that. shit.
That night, I sent her home, worst she found a ktv namecard of the tuberose mamasan-ling ling in my car. she kept quiet.
The next day, her pager & hp was off. think she had took my advise to reconsider her relationship.
should I did something that night, will it be different ? today I might not be working so jalat liao.
Opportunities don't come always, once it happens to knock your door, make sure your grab it tight. same applies to work.
cheers

brudder, i think d impt part of this is dat she found dat namecard, not wat u've said... well, i think it's nice of u 2 say dat 2 her but dun after saying n den found such a namecard in ur car lah... dat's a definite no-no...

i think nice guys have their perks as well... u can be nice.. but not brudder's nice as in poor Klown... nice as in bf's nice... there's different level of being nice.... for mi, i am nice n used 2 getting all those dat r looking 4 long-term r/s, which i dun want... jz wanna b nice on a temp level... know wat i mean?

[Noobie]

After this woman, I decided I am not gonna trust another woman, no matter what they say or do, becoz, when you emotional give yourself to the person, man, these woman just trash you. You need to have control over yourself, if they start treating you different, talk to them, if they start acting up. Just tell them and leave. No more giving face to them. If you're a bitch, treat you like a bitch.

Also, I never cheated, played a fool, or did anything when a girl was drunk. I actually took care of them. But now, I don't give a damn anymore. If I think you're a bitch, I would treat you like the bitch you need to treated on.

How do you know if a girl is a bitch or not. Easy. Talk to them as a nice guy, you'll find it out. They actually tell you what they did etc.

Woman are never to be trusted with emotionally. Its not their fault. They are emotionally driven. Logic doesn't work for them. So no use being nice to them.

Just my opinion.

Flinger2

totally agree with you, i was a victim of a similar case like you.
only thing was that the girl i was interested wasn't interested in me at all in the first place.

said she not ready for a relationship, recovering from a previous breakup
ended up she found another guy within a few months and told me to f off,
saying she had absolutely no interest in me....f**king bitch.

[cbjuiceyumseng]

:mad: Down with Bitches ! :mad:

[Klown]

watch one of those charity shows and you'll see people in more pathetic state than u. they have nothing to live for but they keep going. take strength in knowing you have alot already.

I will not comapre myself to pathetic people. Of course I know I am fortunate already. I know there are many more people worse off than me. I just wanted to state that things don't always balance out. Shit might just carry on forever. I shouldn't just sit on my ass and sulk. But thinking positive is just lying to myself.

Anyway, Thats Life, there are just as many Bastard guys as there are Bitches. Many of them here cheating on their wives. Like I said, I'm a nice guy no more...

[Kilograms]

HEy Pals, glad to hear from so many bros having such problem. Me? hey I'm in too. But for me, good guys first ,later then regret......

I am married now, before, its was 'darling here & darling there' KNN, now...after so many years, i'm still the good guy, but my wife.....take advantage of everthing 'though i have no idea whether she's having an affair behind my back'. Well, to me, I think the lesson learnt is, don't let the girls pamper you too much in the earlier stage, later after you get hook, married, "you balu tahu"........I dunno, I feel that all I need to do is to just be patience with her every action, conversation etc........but good thing is, I can do whatever I want to, and that is my motivation to every single day... :)

[medicheng]

u sound like u going thru something bad... cheer up and chiong happy.... i had been betrayed twice before by 2 of my ex... but well, they wan to do that u also bo pian...

[Optimus_Prime]

i raise my hand to agree to that.
happens to me once, few years back when I was 23. and she's 19. very chio gal who I met her in Sparks and she just broke off with her bf that time.
we went dating for couple of time and finally one day ended up in her house that night.
should I did something that night, will it be different ? today I might not be working so jalat liao.
Opportunities don't come always, once it happens to knock your door, make sure your grab it tight. same applies to work.
cheers

Bro, same thing to me oso lah.

When I was studying overseas, had an ex-colleague came visiting me. Actually she was now working as a air-stewardess and had a stop-over for the night. So we had an enjoyable day, intro her to my mates and had coffee by the lake. Then we dined alone by the river while my mates caught a movie. We returned to my apartment while waiting for my mates to finish their movie. We talked about a lot of things and really felt a connection there. (dunno if it's 1-sided or not) We sat really close to each other but our bodies did not touch but I could still remember the perfume on her bod. Well could not do anything at my place as my flatmates were around.

Well it was getting late and she said if I would like to come up to her room. She said to bring my study stuff along.. hint..hint... In my mind, I was like WOAH !!

Jus to clarify... she was an ex-colleague of mine and I never harbour any thoughts on her cus she had an on-off bf. I did develope a slight crush on her but never ever acted on it even when she broke off w her bf. we just went home together a couple times as staying close. (nice guy what)

So what she suggested really hit me from the LEFT field !! Did not know what to think. Anyway we winded up having coffee again at one of my fav road-side cafe, we chatted and we laughed. Got to know she was back with her bf...sighhhh...but they were still veri rocky. she seem to need a listening ear so I listened to her problems as any NICE guy would.

Got back to her room and we sat on the couch to watch TV. Again we sat so close to the point of not actually touching. Should I have made a move then ? Maybe reach over and brush against her shoulders or something. Anyway she hinted I could stay for the night... ON THE COUCH... and watch cable TV if I wanted. she excused herself aand went to the showers. By then I was in 2 minds (well my other head was having a mind of his own too...heheh)... I had a gf too which she knew... should I stay and should I go ?? Sighhh... in the end, I chickened out and left while she was still in the showers. As I left, heard her get out of the shower quickly and opened her hotel door to ask why leaving so soon. I was in the corridor. I gave some stupid excuse and left.

Was cursing myself as I walked home on that cold lonely night. Even though I kept telling myself I was getting away from potential danger and being faithful to my gf.

so until now I still think of what COULD have happened that night had I stayed. DAMN FOOL I was then...sighhh....

so bro... u not alone...

any other bro w similar stories or comments?

[HauntedSex]

Hi,

Just come across this thread today, Quite interested with what many bros and sis had said about how unfaithful their ex were.

In my own point of view, there are no good or bad guys or gal, what's right or wrong is just what we compare or learn in school/peers/family, eg do not fight, rob ppl..etc, these are wrong. We, as human should look at different angles on things or ppl. Yes, he or she may be unfaithful but have u really look deep enough for the reason? Are they or u at fault?

For me, It's just not ok to judge a person whether he/she is good or not,especially in BG relatonship. we are simply not in the right frame of mind to judge another partner is 'goodie' or a 'baddie'. Any way, who cares? as long as both 'click', ok liao!!

Just look on the brighter side, think about happy times that u spent with your ex, maybe both of u are not fate to be together. Stop blaming and lok forward to another new relationship. We only live once, and live at our fullest!!
Just my 2 cents' worth of advice.

Sitting on the fence, looking... :cool:
HauntedSex

[jeronimo]

In my own point of view, there are no good or bad guys or gal, what's right or wrong is just what we compare or learn in school/peers/family, eg do not fight, rob ppl..etc, these are wrong. We, as human should look at different angles on things or ppl. Yes, he or she may be unfaithful but have u really look deep enough for the reason? Are they or u at fault?

.............. another partner is 'goodie' or a 'baddie'. Any way, who cares? as long as both 'click', ok liao!!

Just look on the brighter side, think about happy times that u spent with your ex, maybe both of u are not fate to be together. Stop blaming and lok forward to another new relationship. We only live once, and live at our fullest!!

I agree with you.
When milk turns sour, you throw it down the bin
When relationship turns sour, I would rather write it off

It takes 2 hands to clap and if its not loud enough, look for another hand
No point taking revenge, feeling sore or brooding over it.
Life goes of even if the gal or guy you wanted does not walk with you, there will be other people who will walk the road of life with you.