Wannabeone
26-01-2005, 03:57 PM
Read this online..........Just thot this is good to share here....enjoy and feel free to comment......
Here goes..............Part One
Let's face it. Few among us talk truthfully or openly about sex, especially to our partners. It's high time we do some communicating. In hopes of shedding a little light on the dark corners, here are the seven truths about the female orgasm that every woman (and her lover) should know.
The First Truth
All Women Climax Differently.
Some of us have orgasms from clitoral stimulation only, others by stimulating the G spot, or Grafenberg spot, which is a sensitive, nerve-intensive area about two inches back inside the front wall of the vagina. And some women experience orgasm through both the clitoris and G spot, though rarely at the same time unless they are lucky enough to have been born with bionic genitalia.
Because our bodies are all unique, there's no fail-proof recipe for bringing on a female orgasm. We must discover what works for us through trial and error. Jenny, 21, in an attempt to enlighten herself and friends to all our female orgasmic capacity, took the matter into her own hands, so to speak. She reveals: "I ended up buying a Betty Dodson video about achieving orgasmic ecstasy, and I had a screening for friends. We served mango and angel food cake. The video talked about moving your hips, deep breathing, using your pelvic floor (pc) muscles, touching your clitoris and rocking your pelvis." One thing to keep in mind as you explore the way your body works: G spot orgasms aren't more "sophisticated" than those triggered by the clitoris. Nor is one necessarily better than the other. Research shows that the nerve impulses resulting from various orgasms all look the same regardless of how they were precipitated. The result is generally three to five vaginal contractions followed by full-body release of muscle tension that leaves you more serene than an hour-long massage.
The Second Truth
Orgasms Don't (Pardon the Pun) Come Easily.
Life would be so divine if orgasms were as predictable as our credit-card bills. Dream on. Unlike the case with men, who can't seem to relate to us on this one, female orgasms with a partner require harmonizing four components: mechanical know-how, savvy communication skills, a certain comfort level with the partner and complete mind and body receptivity. Bottom line: It takes practice, because even if we know every nuance of our clitoris or G spot, there's no guarantee we'll get the orgasm goddess dancing.
One of the reasons orgasms can be difficult to achieve is that we tend to need different types of stimulation at different times when we're making love.
Small differences of touch make big differences with women. Sometimes we need harder pressure, other times more delicate strokes.
The clitoris has as many nerve endings as the penis, but they are concentrated in such a small surface area that sometimes even the slightest touch can be too much. What's more, the approach that worked magic yesterday may have little effect on us today. While it would be dreamy to have a lover who, in an osmosis kind of way, knows exactly where to touch us and with what degree of vigor, here in the real world there's no way our mate can know what is right on or all wrong . . . unless we start talking, which conveniently leads us to the next truth.
The Third Truth
Our Partners Need Pointers On What Turns Us On.
What may have sent our mate's previous partner flying across the room from pleasure (although such images of our lover's past sexual encounters do horrific things to the esteem and therefore, in general, should not be conjured) may do nothing for us. Such is the nature of the unpredictable female erogenous zone.
Our job is threefold: First, we must realize that such differences are perfectly normal; second, we must educate our mates about the variances in female anatomy and orgasmic propensity if they don't already know; and third, we must explain and even (eek!) demonstrate what turns us on.
If you are bold, the direct approach, during or before the act of making love, is the most effective. Tell your partner outright, "I want to show you how I come." Then try to cast aside all modesty and get on with the show.
After your private showing, the transition from self-stimulation to partner participation can be somewhat tricky. Some sex therapists suggest trying this technique: First hold your partner's hand and guide his finger until you have an orgasm. Next time, guide his finger until you're close to orgasm, then let go and have him bring you to climax alone. Finally, let him go the whole way without your assistance.
As you're showing your partner the ropes, keep the lines of communication open, advises Julia, 26: "Guys have no way of knowing if what they're doing is right, so it's up to us to let them know." With that in mind, keep talking while you're making love, telling your partner gently, so as not to seem demanding or critical, "That's not good now; do more of what you were doing before," or whatever it is that triggers your orgasm.
If you're so shy about expressing your sexual desires that the idea of putting on such a brazen demonstration is enough to make you want to run to a nunnery, try warming up to the conversation slowly, suggests Susan, 23. "One way to approach the subject is to ask your partner what he likes, and then tell him what turns you on. It can be awkward to say what you like, but if you can't talk about it with your partner, the sex might not ever improve," she says.
A final word of caution: Be very clear when describing what you need. If you're too subtle, your partner won't get it.
The Fourth Truth
Intercourse, Alone, Doesn't Cut It (At Least, for Most of Us).
For many of us, foreplay is the real play when it comes to making love. Intercourse on its own is often more of a pleasant afterthought or an erotic prelude to what really gets us going, which, more often than not, is manual stimulation or oral sex. In fact, according to some estimates, close to half of all sexually active women don't have orgasms regularly through intercourse.
"Men and women's sexual experiences are very different from one another," explains one sex therapist.
"There's a tendency in our culture for women to conform to the male sexual experience, which is intercourse. But intercourse is not an effective way for women to reach orgasm. The two major erogenous areas in women are the clitoris and the G spot, and intercourse isn't efficient at stimulating either."
Because of the female orgasm's rare appearance during penetration, it's pretty seldom that we're able to climax in unison with our mates, a feat that many men believe is the gold standard in sex. It shouldn't be, though, because such demands put a lot of pressure on both partners. Sure, it may be nice to strive for, and when it comes, we can howl at the moon in erotic harmony, but such events shouldn't be forced.
Of course, certain sexual positions -- girl on top, giving us all the control, and doggy style, to name a couple -- are better than others at hitting the right spots during penetration. And, of course, practice with an eager-to-please partner will help spur those wild horses to gallop across our pelvic floor.
Having a partner whose anatomy complements yours (meaning that your pelvic bones bump and grind in just the right spot, stimulating your clitoris in the process) will also improve your chances of reaching orgasm through intercourse. So will the simple act of manually stimulating your clitoris during penetration.
Here goes..............Part One
Let's face it. Few among us talk truthfully or openly about sex, especially to our partners. It's high time we do some communicating. In hopes of shedding a little light on the dark corners, here are the seven truths about the female orgasm that every woman (and her lover) should know.
The First Truth
All Women Climax Differently.
Some of us have orgasms from clitoral stimulation only, others by stimulating the G spot, or Grafenberg spot, which is a sensitive, nerve-intensive area about two inches back inside the front wall of the vagina. And some women experience orgasm through both the clitoris and G spot, though rarely at the same time unless they are lucky enough to have been born with bionic genitalia.
Because our bodies are all unique, there's no fail-proof recipe for bringing on a female orgasm. We must discover what works for us through trial and error. Jenny, 21, in an attempt to enlighten herself and friends to all our female orgasmic capacity, took the matter into her own hands, so to speak. She reveals: "I ended up buying a Betty Dodson video about achieving orgasmic ecstasy, and I had a screening for friends. We served mango and angel food cake. The video talked about moving your hips, deep breathing, using your pelvic floor (pc) muscles, touching your clitoris and rocking your pelvis." One thing to keep in mind as you explore the way your body works: G spot orgasms aren't more "sophisticated" than those triggered by the clitoris. Nor is one necessarily better than the other. Research shows that the nerve impulses resulting from various orgasms all look the same regardless of how they were precipitated. The result is generally three to five vaginal contractions followed by full-body release of muscle tension that leaves you more serene than an hour-long massage.
The Second Truth
Orgasms Don't (Pardon the Pun) Come Easily.
Life would be so divine if orgasms were as predictable as our credit-card bills. Dream on. Unlike the case with men, who can't seem to relate to us on this one, female orgasms with a partner require harmonizing four components: mechanical know-how, savvy communication skills, a certain comfort level with the partner and complete mind and body receptivity. Bottom line: It takes practice, because even if we know every nuance of our clitoris or G spot, there's no guarantee we'll get the orgasm goddess dancing.
One of the reasons orgasms can be difficult to achieve is that we tend to need different types of stimulation at different times when we're making love.
Small differences of touch make big differences with women. Sometimes we need harder pressure, other times more delicate strokes.
The clitoris has as many nerve endings as the penis, but they are concentrated in such a small surface area that sometimes even the slightest touch can be too much. What's more, the approach that worked magic yesterday may have little effect on us today. While it would be dreamy to have a lover who, in an osmosis kind of way, knows exactly where to touch us and with what degree of vigor, here in the real world there's no way our mate can know what is right on or all wrong . . . unless we start talking, which conveniently leads us to the next truth.
The Third Truth
Our Partners Need Pointers On What Turns Us On.
What may have sent our mate's previous partner flying across the room from pleasure (although such images of our lover's past sexual encounters do horrific things to the esteem and therefore, in general, should not be conjured) may do nothing for us. Such is the nature of the unpredictable female erogenous zone.
Our job is threefold: First, we must realize that such differences are perfectly normal; second, we must educate our mates about the variances in female anatomy and orgasmic propensity if they don't already know; and third, we must explain and even (eek!) demonstrate what turns us on.
If you are bold, the direct approach, during or before the act of making love, is the most effective. Tell your partner outright, "I want to show you how I come." Then try to cast aside all modesty and get on with the show.
After your private showing, the transition from self-stimulation to partner participation can be somewhat tricky. Some sex therapists suggest trying this technique: First hold your partner's hand and guide his finger until you have an orgasm. Next time, guide his finger until you're close to orgasm, then let go and have him bring you to climax alone. Finally, let him go the whole way without your assistance.
As you're showing your partner the ropes, keep the lines of communication open, advises Julia, 26: "Guys have no way of knowing if what they're doing is right, so it's up to us to let them know." With that in mind, keep talking while you're making love, telling your partner gently, so as not to seem demanding or critical, "That's not good now; do more of what you were doing before," or whatever it is that triggers your orgasm.
If you're so shy about expressing your sexual desires that the idea of putting on such a brazen demonstration is enough to make you want to run to a nunnery, try warming up to the conversation slowly, suggests Susan, 23. "One way to approach the subject is to ask your partner what he likes, and then tell him what turns you on. It can be awkward to say what you like, but if you can't talk about it with your partner, the sex might not ever improve," she says.
A final word of caution: Be very clear when describing what you need. If you're too subtle, your partner won't get it.
The Fourth Truth
Intercourse, Alone, Doesn't Cut It (At Least, for Most of Us).
For many of us, foreplay is the real play when it comes to making love. Intercourse on its own is often more of a pleasant afterthought or an erotic prelude to what really gets us going, which, more often than not, is manual stimulation or oral sex. In fact, according to some estimates, close to half of all sexually active women don't have orgasms regularly through intercourse.
"Men and women's sexual experiences are very different from one another," explains one sex therapist.
"There's a tendency in our culture for women to conform to the male sexual experience, which is intercourse. But intercourse is not an effective way for women to reach orgasm. The two major erogenous areas in women are the clitoris and the G spot, and intercourse isn't efficient at stimulating either."
Because of the female orgasm's rare appearance during penetration, it's pretty seldom that we're able to climax in unison with our mates, a feat that many men believe is the gold standard in sex. It shouldn't be, though, because such demands put a lot of pressure on both partners. Sure, it may be nice to strive for, and when it comes, we can howl at the moon in erotic harmony, but such events shouldn't be forced.
Of course, certain sexual positions -- girl on top, giving us all the control, and doggy style, to name a couple -- are better than others at hitting the right spots during penetration. And, of course, practice with an eager-to-please partner will help spur those wild horses to gallop across our pelvic floor.
Having a partner whose anatomy complements yours (meaning that your pelvic bones bump and grind in just the right spot, stimulating your clitoris in the process) will also improve your chances of reaching orgasm through intercourse. So will the simple act of manually stimulating your clitoris during penetration.