Divorced

[fireball]

Just went thru a nasty divorce. I'm slowly picking up the pieces now. What can i do to get over, fulfill my needs ...? No flaming please.

[DRSG]

1.Sit down and think carefully about your financial future.No money means no happiness in this god damn world.
2.Get on with your life.Treat yourself without getting into trouble.
3.Men can have many loves.Divorce and marriage is just a piece of paper by law.
4.If you have children be a good parent to them.They and you have nothin to do with your ex.
5.Dont look back whats gone is kaput.Fuul stop.Live your life now.Not tommorrow and not yesterday.
6.Be happy with yourself that you have gooten out of a pile of shit.
7.I suppose talk more with some of the bros here who have better advice.

[kiko]

Bro Fireball:

I am very sorry for such things that happened to you. Dont feel sad or angry. Life has still need to go on. If u have children, be a good father to them, plan their education , edu insurance for university fees. Love your children. Maybe in a year or 2 in your life, you can find someone better that will love u and take care of u. and also be a good wife to u and a good mother to the children.

[fireball]

thanks bro DRSG and kiko for your kind words and advice.

final analysis is that i married the wrong person who did not have my welfare at heart. so i strayed. but i am not sure about settling down with a local ...

any bros can share thoughts on this ? I am thinking that a local is simply too demanding ...

[qw2op]

any bros can share thoughts on this ? I am thinking that a local is simply too demanding ...

bro, do a search wif ze word "divorce" in ze title ... dey r a few threads here on ze topic ... :)

[fireball]

Ooops. Ok dude. Thanks.

:o

[pussyman72]

any bros can share thoughts on this ? I am thinking that a local is simply too demanding ...

lets put it this way bud. now adays woman be it local or any country. most of them will have some expectation. is whether u meet their expectation...

marrying a 3rd world country may seems to be good to some pple but dont forget this girls maybe coming from a villiage poor family which we think there should not be any expectation but there will always have some expectation either now or in the future.

of course there is girls who does ask a single cents. how many are there? this girls are very realistic in some way. many pple may not agree with what i said but it a true fact........ they marry us is bcos we have more $$ to take care of her n maybe their family.

i have a friend he married a taiwan girl. they meet each other in UK. Married for few yrs n have kids. his wife is very demanding she expect her husband go make 8k a mth rather then 4k a mth but my friend dont want to spend so much time working n no time for his kid n family..

another friend of mine. his gf is a cambodian been together for 3yrs. divorce with his sgp wife. once awhile go see his kid. bought a house for his gf in cambodia. seems ok but i think he start to have problem bcos he is providing not just for his gf but to his gf family.

many many example.... of course there are girls who never ask anything n come over n suffer together with my friends. work hard together to setup their own small family in sgp. no matter what there is still some expectation.

I think from the start we have to set the mindset before going into marriage. to be fair to everybody rather then pointing finger saying the other party expectation are high.... bcos right from the beginning this should have been surface.....

As i always say "It takes 2 hands to clap, so dont blame anybody but ourself"

[KLKOOL]

Just went thru a nasty divorce. I'm slowly picking up the pieces now. What can i do to get over, fulfill my needs ...? No flaming please.

What are your needs ? Also depends on ur commitments from ur divorce .. and if you have kids. Such a general post, hard to say anything

[Clit_LickeR]

What are your needs ? Also depends on ur commitments from ur divorce .. and if you have kids.

I need to be bbbj-ed for 3 times/day with 1 time CIM and 1 time COB/COF. :p
I am thinking of a divorce. and i have a kid. :cool:
Any suggestions? :D

[birdie8819]

bro, do a search wif ze word "divorce" in ze title ... dey r a few threads here on ze topic ... :)

Here's one of them - http://www.sammyboyforum.com/adult-discussions-about-sex/82337-how-life-after-divorce.html

[RoqueHorn]

Divorce rates seem to go up and up these days...too much temptation around?

[porscheclub]

any bros can share thoughts on this ? I am thinking that a local is simply too demanding ...

Bro. A woman or rather your wife can be demanding and she doesn't have to be a local or any race for that matter. The important issue is to find a soulmate that can share your woes, wealth & happiness.

Local gals are somewhat smarter because they have better education & they know their rights. But that's not important, what's more important is that this woman must love you wholeheartedly or at least willing to sacrifice & go through thick & thin with you. Not easy to find such wife these days. Or is it that you did not commit enough into the relationship as well? It always takes two to clap....

Bro pussyman72 above said what I thought. Be prepared of other issues as well. My galfriend also expects me to provide for her family since she was working to pay off her "parental debt". But since she's with me & don't work anymore. To be fair, I told her that I can pay that debt & provide them with a roof but don't expect me to spoon feed the rest. My commitment to her is to provide for her & give her an assurance while she "repays" in kind by marrying me & taking care of me for the rest of our life. Of course we love each other but should anything arise & we split, I won't regret because it was my decision. We both made our commitments & how can we weigh the amount of sacrifices?

[BigBoy2]

I have a friend whom is married and then divorced, then married again with a local gal....... Till now still married to the 2nd one. Just it only voice down to 1 word COMMUNICATIONS........ If both of you is able to do that and solve all problems then I feel it should be no problem at all. Just you luck sometimes I guess.

[congo69]

enjoy being single for the time being. It will take a while for wounds to heal from a divorce. Just do the things u used to do when u were single.

and when u r ready, u can play the field again. So many trees out there all waiting for u. Best of luck, bro.

[kiko]

In my opinion , i feel that love is about trust , committment, willing to do anything for each other. Both parties must be understanding enough to solve differences. .. forgive and forget, give in to each other.. Communication is important in a marriage. I believe a couple should communicate to each other more to solve their problem.. I believe couples lack communication thats why lead to Divorced

[glooper83]

Communication is important but also need actions to rectify the problems. However, if we already have no communication, how to even start talking about solutions. Our conservative SG mindset is of less communications, or rather its only my family. I really hope to communicate better with my parents and all but they seem unable to do it.

I agree that love is almost everything that brothers here have mentioned. Whether lust is to be part of love is debatable. My personal feelings is that it should be. A husband's intimate needs should be satisfied by his wife but if his wife does not fulfill that then what? Most Sg women i know sadly do not see the need to satisfy their men. Or rather they see lust even among partners as something to be frowned upon.

[nbzz]

Must have communications and both must give and take, cannot always take take take or just give give give ... bad for relationship

[aces68]

Or rather they see lust even among partners as something to be frowned upon.

Yes, what you said is quite true.

[NewFreedom]

Just went thru a nasty divorce. I'm slowly picking up the pieces now. What can i do to get over, fulfill my needs ...? No flaming please.

i m a little late on tis, barely join 2day. i m divorcee too so i can understand hw u feel. u will surely b lost 4 a while, trust me.

i tink aft divorce is a gd time 2 really think wat u can do 4 urself. i duno d details of ur divorce, n i dun nd to know. while companionship can help, i can only say it's temporary. jumping into another r/s is nt a gd idea too.

take it as a break 2 catch up wif frens, focus on more impt stuffs. if the loneliness is unbearable, i think tis forum has plenty of solutions. but anything emotionally-attached is a really bad idea nw imho. :)

[wodemama]

Sorry to hear that you had a divorce.
The first thing you need to do is not to lose focus at work, and slowly forget this relationship. Enjoy the feeling of being single again,catch up with friends whom you have not contacted since you got married. do not rush urself into a new relationship.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

Divorce means a new chance in your life to get what was wrong rite.
Think about what you've always missed out whilst being married
Think about those things you always wanted to do but could never cos you're married
Think of all those chicks you wanted to sian but didnt cos you were married
Think of all those colleagues u wanted to up but couldnt becos you were married
Wow................shiokers rite......

[NewFreedom]

Think of all those chicks you wanted to sian but didnt cos you were married
Think of all those colleagues u wanted to up but couldnt becos you were married

These 2 gd enuff reasons oredi... :D

[Beanieminnie]

A husband's intimate needs should be satisfied by his wife but if his wife does not fulfill that then what? Most Sg women i know sadly do not see the need to satisfy their men. Or rather they see lust even among partners as something to be frowned upon.[/QUOTE]

off topic abit:
This is so untrue. How about wife's intimate needs not been able to be fulfilled by husband? It is alwys a preassumption that women have lower sex drives than men which the latter conveninently use it as an excuse to commit infidelity. There are equally large number of desperate housewives who yearn to enjoy explosive intimacy with their other half, yet been starved.

Reasons why a marriage could end up in a divorce do not occur overnite. Many factors can come into the picture. Love ceased? No more sparks? Why? Not creative anymore? Burden by career, kids? No common topic? Too much expectations? What's the reasons the couple decided to take the vow? Is it love? Is it because its time to get married and so just get marry lor. Is it so as can have a permanent sex parter? Or something else? The answer could be hidden within why a couple get married the first place.