In celebration of Autumn/Winter 2014, I would like to offer an Autumn/Winter promotion (as I have mentioned to 阿佬 aka hcg_explorer) for one and all! This special promotion will extend from Chuseok till about close to end of Winter 2014. After Winter 2014, in Spring 2015 I may decide to "pack my bags and leave" or may decide to switch 180 degrees...
PROMOTIONAL DETAILS
1. Overview
Providing you the girl next door aka "neighbour lau aunty" who will offer you a listening EAR; and some "PRETEND girlfriend effect" anytime of the day... of course with the exception of my jiak png timing / koonz timing / pang mask and cement bin eh timing, whereby I won't be able to respond to you on time.
2. Participant's criteria
Participant, aka HE should not be too "ehkia" than 1.65m (+/-). He should be carrying about 70kg of meat and bones at the minimum and can be I-TA-LY (©watssupp bro); and of course should be Singaporean chinese, because I had made a promise to myself in Mt Sorak 3years ago to pay back to the local guys! But HE
should not be younger than 33 years old! HE may or may not possess a car or drive; and HE should be fluent in English, HOKKIEN and CANTONESE, I am LEARNING hokkien, paiseh! however if he can speak Korean it would be a PLUS point!
3. Promotional Deal
Offering you a listening ear to your problems or chatting about practically anything you want. Someone for you to have a meal or drink with. Sorry no movies because "arm arm" cannot see your bin! I would require proof of your IC that you are 33 years old on the meet up, if you don't mind to be fair for all.
4. Promotion Rules
a. Cost
As this is a promotion, there won't be any COST from you to request for my listening ear or meal/drink time! Therefore, the meals/drinks which YOU consume, will be PAID by yourself. I will not be eating and drinking and you "mien liao lui"!... I happen to carry my own mineral water and granola bars!
b. Venues
Meal/drinking venues which you request to meet me will be in Orchard/Raffles area because I am a road idiot and commute via public transport nia such as the 4-6 wheeler HUGE Mercedes!
c. Timings
Booking of meeting times should be between
weekday evenings 7pm to 10pm / weekend day times 12noon to 5pm due to the fact that I can only da bus nia, unfortunately need to end by 5pm cos I may need to squeeze bus with maids and banglas. Booking notification should be 2hrs in advance for me to kor cement on my bin cos too many potholes in bin and da bus to your meeting venue!
5. Points to note
Booking times can range between 1hr to 3hours on weekday evenings or 1hr to 5hours on weekend day times. I reserve the right to jitao walk away and leave should you ask for FB/FWB, NO OFFENSE bro! Bottom line is,
there will be BOH body contact which means BOH sexual activity. (meaning NO sex, in case my hokkien is misinterpreted).
Lastly... a short recap of me is I is FAT aka ah bui de; not tall yet dont like wear heels cos clumsy; speak 4 languages - Hokkien, cantonese, singlish and korean; Reddish ah lian hairstyle; lang ga face with many potholes like orange peel; blind as a bat so wear thick thick glasses and aunty dressing, definitely not your typical chio bu.
So those interested to book, kindly drop me a pm with your contact details, time and booking venue. Please note that I have the right to reject your booking if time and booking venue is not convenient for me. If you list that you are looking for FB/FWB, sorry bro, I will
JITAO ignore you. However should you be interested to pay for my time listening to you with
BOH body contact and BOH sexual activity, I will welcome but I don't think you would be that generous to!
Dedicated to all the lonely souls out there!
Kamsia for reading! Hope you have song day ahead!
Happy Chuseok!
P/s: In the spirit of Chuseok, the age if siam abit at 32.75years old... i can accept la... since it is promotion i can chin cai for the lonely souls! ;-)
Disclaimer: should you find this offensive and distasteful to your liking, please ignore. Thank you! 