Sexless Marriage...

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by rams

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm a career woman who dressed up nicely for work and brings home the larger share of the dough. So that rules me out of the Huang Lian Po category..

What a reversal or roles, most of the times it is the career woman that generally comes up with the excuses such as work and stress for not having sex..

I actually have to contemplate on stopping breastfeeding my baby for this reason.. and as a matter of factly I've stop but the sex didn't come with it..

Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..

[analog539]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

What a reversal or roles, most of the times it is the career woman that generally comes up with the excuses such as work and stress for not having sex..


Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..

Same here man....
My wife looks HOT with her boobs all swollen....
problem is, her sex drive is not there....

[wow69]

Originally Posted by rams

Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it. The various reason he has given includes the following:

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

I did suspect he was bonking someone else on the side and I did find out he was exceptionally close to some girls but he claimed that it wasn't for sex. What I dun understand is what is it about me that doesn't call for his desire..

So can I conclude that he is not normal?

Maybe its like wat ppl always said, "You dun realise a treasure beside you until you lose it one day". Frankly speaking, if you are my wife, every nite will be sextisfying

But nothing is perfect in tis world, you have some you lose some. You deserve my utmost respect to stay faithful to yr hubby, not like many of us (including me of coz)

[wow69]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..

I shared the same sentiment too. Only thing is tat after pregnancy her breasts sorta became less firm than b4.

[Lioncity]

I'm really looking forward to reading this thread especially to read what RAM have to say. Not usually to hear the ladies have their words.

Still I don't understand why as a lady, u have all the opportunity in the world to have good sex with so many men out there yet you choose to do nothing about it. Staying loyal to your man is great but you are not even sure if he is faithful, so why bother. My wife is also great looking, great career although she dun earn as much as me. We only bonk maybe once a month and getting worse cos I also not so interested to bonk her this day but we are happy together. Maybe it has nothing to do with sex, i think sex is just our need like a drug and men need them more than woman. There is a quick fix for the guy, I am not sure if the gal is the same, i have my doubt how quick the ladies want it. Is must be about love and doing it because their is feeling in it. Guess we will have to hear it from the ladies, your comment if you don't mind continuing with the discussion.

Lion (can roar this day)

can anyone accept gf who do not let u touch her or hug her after one year of going steady? sex of course is out of question. And your gf or future wife who dont want to have children. would u continue to go steady with her?

[wayfarer]

wows didn't know got so many samsters with marriage n sex problems. but I don't find getting sex from wifey once a week or once every 2 weeks a prob. mebbe cos I also had it from FLs and irc gers? I mean it can be draining on the body besides the wallet.

hope it's not taken as frivolous or I laughing at u guys but I don't get how u all can get to the stage where yr wifey can say NO sex. but then again, I got this GF who cos she scared of getting preg again, only let her hubby had sex 2-3 months. and thing is she is good at sex...uhmm I know ok - ok I not bragging but she really did that to her hubby. so it really does exist this problem.

as for Frankiestein prob with his RSM - only had sex when she want babies....well not the first time I heard of it. the prob might be the getting preg thing again - only she is ready for it.

[c_s_c_s]

Originally Posted by fuckings

can anyone accept gf who do not let u touch her or hug her after one year of going steady? sex of course is out of question. And your gf or future wife who dont want to have children. would u continue to go steady with her?

I won't accept. Same thing happend to new some years ago. I was stupid and simply accepted the fact. That gal had an abortion before and had major emotional issues. After some time, I just got bloody tired of the attitude and moved on. Relationship without physical intimacy is bull shit--IMHO. If a girl really cares about you, she'll consider your needs and try to satisfy you. If she simply is not keen then she's selfish and worst of all, possibly satisfying her needs somewhere else--which I certainly hope is not the case.

[stray]

There are definitely reasons why a normal wouldn't bonk the wife
unless she is ugly....too fat...etc

For example
1. She is too capable both in and out of the house, friends and relative are always singing apraise about her which makes him feel inferior.
He find himself so useless infront of her.

2. Some guy doesnt like lady to take initaitive

3. He feel he is not good enough as a sex partner

4. Maybe he is really not interested in ladies ( Homo ? ) there are homo who get married just as a cover.

There are alot of others reason too...
Was he the same before marriage on sex ?

Regards

[tommyboy290906]

Hello Bros...
I've my own fair share of Sexual problems with my wife previously and I've not given up hope on her and her sexual needs are getting better from once a month to weekly. I've put her on herbal enhancement for Estrogen replacement to get her excited again. I guess alot of singapore women are having sexual problems and they are not inclined to seek medical or consultation. I've come across this term in the web: (Diagnosis and Treatment of Atrophic Vaginitis) Quote: Because of declining estrogen levels, women who are in mid-life or beyond often present with symptoms of atrophic vaginitis.

[rams]

Originally Posted by Squall

Hi Rams, I read thru your thread, & thought 2 myself that u having sex once a week with ur hubby isn't too bad. However, the root of the issue I surmise is not the frequency of sex, but that in general, u feel undesired.

Exactly, once a week is not THAT bad but if I have to initiate it everytime, then its bad.

The key question is: Do u think he still luvs u? Outside of sex, do he treat u well? The answer I think may b found in that.

Come to think of it, outside of sex, he doesn't treat me exceptionally well at all. He has this temper over the slightest thing that is enough to make one innocent comment seemed like the most humiliating insult in this world. Bottomline is, he doesn't respect me and when he gets angry, he starts pouring vulgarities on me. But at times, he can be quite nice when he is not angry.

[rams]

With regards to whether he still loves me.. I think he didn't love me a lot right from the start..

Before we got married, we already have this problem but thinking that it might be temporary cos his business wasn't doing so well at that time, but its been three yrs and there's still no change..

[rams]

Originally Posted by TTI-INT

My first marrige broke down because I no longer had sex with my wife.

I'm already suspecting for having another but its just that I've got no concrete proof yet. He was rather close to some of his female friends.

My advise to you is to leave him. If he is not seeing someone else he will eventually.

To leave him takes a lot of courage and I hate to have my son go through this. I can't imagine him calling another dad.

[rams]

Originally Posted by KingEros

[COLOR="royalblue"]In your case, I can only suggest a couple of routes you could choose:
1) tell him in no uncertain terms your frustrations ... perhaps even setting him an ultimatum (eg divorce)

I think he would happily agree to the divorce which he has been mentioning each time we get into a argument.

Originally Posted by KingEros

2) take care of your own frustrations ... with one or two TRUSTED part-time lovers (trusted means they also want nothing more than the physical/emotional presence)

I can't bring myself to have sex with another. I dun wan to be labelled as a slut who sleeps around.
Its so easy for you men to just go for another but its always a different case for the woman, I would die of guilt.

[rams]

Originally Posted by Lioncity

Still I don't understand why as a lady, u have all the opportunity in the world to have good sex with so many men out there yet you choose to do nothing about it.

I would die of guilt like I mentioned before and also what we are looking for is the love and affection, not the act of sex or the big O. I do have an ex-bf on the side now waiting for me to give the green light to have a unattached sexual relationship but I just can't.
Yes, I believed a couple can be happy if there is love with no sex but to me, I feel that his selfish nature just shows that he doesn't love me.. so maybe i should change the topic to loveless marriage.
Maybe lets put it this way, can a couple have lotsa sex and not love each other?
any comments?