divorced women/widow will be alone

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Rickey

Just read & learnt from the media tat Jamie Yeo, the ex-MediaCorp DJ wif one kid is going to divorce her 2nd husband, a britisher ...not really sure, wats their problem now...sigh...is she gonna re-marry again, one wonders ??...why are there still so many pple wanting to divorce one another ...can't we all, men & women learn to live tgt in love, peace, understanding & harmony with each other..

bro Rickey if life is that simple we would all be happier! as for Jamie i dont know all her stories on her 2 exes. i just hope her little daughter is ok.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by Archerguard

hee... preferring or viewing the cup half full or empty indirectly relates to a person's attitude. As long you have a good attitude towards what life has for you, everything will be fine. Again, whether the cup is half full or empty, it's about who is paying for the next round.

so, what have you got?

I have nothing just me

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by hugs

Just noticed this thread. Enlightening. Happy new year to TS and all.

Happy new year to u too!

[Archerguard]

Originally Posted by Edyta

I have nothing just me

stay this way gorgeously always. Happy Chinese New Year to you.

[tarma69]

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know.

[Soul_Reaper]

Originally Posted by tarma69

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know.

You're only one year into the marriage..... wait another 6 years as the jinx 7th year is when most marriages breakdown.

[Nato17]

Originally Posted by tarma69

I am a prime example of someone who married a divorcee with a 9-year-old kid. We just married last year after close to a year of knowing each other. I've never married before tho I've got a few relationships in the past. Thankfully our marriage is blissful so far, and her kid is well mannered too.

By nature I'm those fearful of marriage type for various reasons, but somehow I found my wife to be very different from the rest of the past women in my life. She puts my fear at complete ease with her high EQ... never showing any form of disrespect even if we disagree on any matter big or small. And I love her for that!

So yes TS, miracles can happen and you never know.

Women who have had children in my opinion tend to have seen the circus and they know what to do most of the time...you are still a greenhorn to her. Think of this past year as you having gone through your BMT and just in passing out of your tri term OCS. The road is still long lei. She OC for a reason, while you just getting commissioned.

[tarma69]

Originally Posted by Soul_Reaper

You're only one year into the marriage..... wait another 6 years as the jinx 7th year is when most marriages breakdown.

Originally Posted by Nato17

Women who have had children in my opinion tend to have seen the circus and they know what to do most of the time...you are still a greenhorn to her. Think of this past year as you having gone through your BMT and just in passing out of your tri term OCS. The road is still long lei. She OC for a reason, while you just getting commissioned.

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by tarma69

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know.

i like your positive mindset. go for it i will cheer for u here.

[wecloud]

Originally Posted by tarma69

Yes, I went into this marriage hoping for the best while mentally preparing for the worst. My own parents went through a violent marriage and eventually got divorced when I was doing my O levels. She herself had gone through an abusive relationship so we had lots of issues to iron out before we tied the knot.

Marriage is hard work and yes, I have a long road ahead. But I am not giving in to fear. I decided to put on the same mindset when I was suffering from severe ED a decade ago. Instead of giving up on my sex life or just depend on ED pills, I engaged a personal trainer to accountable for my fitness goals, made diet and lifestyle changes, took up meditation etc till my ED is now 80 to 90% cured. The journey was tough and the mission seems impossible. But if I never try, I never know.

So now I am using the same attitude and approach to this scary thing called marriage. The journey will be tough and mission happily-ever-after seems impossible. Just look at the divorce statistics! But I told myself: Better to try and fail, than never try and never know.

very happy for you to hear you found the person in your life! Not many people manage to find theirs. Wishing your marriage happiness!

[tarma69]

Originally Posted by Edyta

i like your positive mindset. go for it i will cheer for u here.

Originally Posted by wecloud

very happy for you to hear you found the person in your life! Not many people manage to find theirs. Wishing your marriage happiness!

Thank you for your encouragements. And I wish everyone here success in finding their soulmates, even if you are divorced. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.

I would like to take the opportunity to highlight here that choosing a divorcee with a child under her custody brings an extra challenge for me. Why? Firstly, I do not fancy kids. I find many of the kids nowadays are spoilt brats and the parent not willing to spare the disciplinary rod. Secondly, I can't imagine going through the sleepless nights of diaper changing like what my sister and most friends have gone through when the kid is born. Fair enough, when I met my wife back then, her daughter was already 8 so I'm glad I don't have to change diapers! Phew! And good thing is Tiger Mom has disciplined her daughter well so she is well mannered and behaved. But the daughter posed another kind of challenge for me - she is extremely introverted so it was tough for me to warm up with her, especially when I'm also an introvert myself! But I told myself I have to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to her... so I made every effort to play with her, coach her in her studies and small talk to her even tho at the back of my mind I'd rather just talk to my wife whom I was courting. Very slowly she started to open up by laughing at my silly jokes and telling me about how her day in school went etc. After a few months, she started holding my hands when we go out and the breakthrough came when one day out of the blue as we were playing and laughing she hugged me for no apparent reason and said, "Uncle, I love you!" My heart melted at that instance and no words could describe how I feel... Wife later told me that she has never said that to her own biological father before.

That day I learnt a very important lesson: Everyone deserves a 2nd chance in life, including the innocent children who are also victims of a marriage breakdown.

[Edyta]

Originally Posted by tarma69

Thank you for your encouragements. And I wish everyone here success in finding their soulmates, even if you are divorced. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance.

I would like to take the opportunity to highlight here that choosing a divorcee with a child under her custody brings an extra challenge for me. Why? Firstly, I do not fancy kids. I find many of the kids nowadays are spoilt brats and the parent not willing to spare the disciplinary rod. Secondly, I can't imagine going through the sleepless nights of diaper changing like what my sister and most friends have gone through when the kid is born. Fair enough, when I met my wife back then, her daughter was already 8 so I'm glad I don't have to change diapers! Phew! And good thing is Tiger Mom has disciplined her daughter well so she is well mannered and behaved. But the daughter posed another kind of challenge for me - she is extremely introverted so it was tough for me to warm up with her, especially when I'm also an introvert myself! But I told myself I have to get out of my comfort zone to reach out to her... so I made every effort to play with her, coach her in her studies and small talk to her even tho at the back of my mind I'd rather just talk to my wife whom I was courting. Very slowly she started to open up by laughing at my silly jokes and telling me about how her day in school went etc. After a few months, she started holding my hands when we go out and the breakthrough came when one day out of the blue as we were playing and laughing she hugged me for no apparent reason and said, "Uncle, I love you!" My heart melted at that instance and no words could describe how I feel... Wife later told me that she has never said that to her own biological father before.

That day I learnt a very important lesson: Everyone deserves a 2nd chance in life, including the innocent children who are also victims of a marriage breakdown.

i can only say wow! your story is very sweet. u took a big step to know the 8yo gal n how she reciprocate is very touching.

as for kids being the victim its really depends on how the parents manage the situation. it also teaches the kids to have courage and live an authetic life. its pointless to live in misery n venting on the kids just coz u cnt take tht step to opt out.

[wittyman]

Originally Posted by Edyta

Happy new year to u too!

happy new year sis, just noticed this great thread