Sick and tired of being a Loser

[SushiJiro]

Originally Posted by Docow1000

bro TS, hang in there and keep trying. Got try, got chance. Once you stop trying, then there's no chance.

Sometimes the timing isn't right or the person just no affinity. Since you had several relationships before, you will know when the right one comes along lor..

In the opinions of bros here, is it really just a numbers' game? Since i cannot pinpoint exactly what is wrong, i should just continue trying?

[SushiJiro]

Originally Posted by wayne23416

Bro,

I honestly don't know what is wrong..but thinking abt your problem, I realized that I ha the same problem couple of years back too!!! Yea..staying single for a year or two is the worse feeling in the world..let alone 27(I feel u bro)..but I realized what went wrong..

I'm no Love Doctor..I'm just another brother sharing...

Bro, it's been a honour and inspiration to know you here

I think in life, sometimes there is no reasons why certain things happpen. It's like why some people are born rich and good looking, whilst some people struggle to make ends meet.

I just hope that with my tiny effort i can one day find a little happiness for my own world.

[MonteCristo]

Man proposes, but heaven disposes. Failure does not, and should not be equated to being a loser. It is just life's "not-so-gentle" way of teaching.

I do not get the point why you should be ashamed of how your life is "stuck in a rut". You tried and failed, but that's about it, right?

Here's a humble 1 cent from a nobody; you may wish to reflect on what is it inside you that you desire from a relationship. Perhaps this may help you.

Good luck on your endeavors!

[50HuesOfBlue]

Agree with the phrase "Man proposes, heaven disposes". Sometimes its a matter of luck and timing.

[Ladyrain]

I think the trick isn't to look for it. Just enjoy your life, have hobbies.. And then love will find you.

[alan0338]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

In the opinions of bros here, is it really just a numbers' game? Since i cannot pinpoint exactly what is wrong, i should just continue trying?

maybe u can consider changing ur target from girls to guys ...

seriously, should just relax la and wait patiently, better off not meeting the right one yet rather than meeting a bunch of wrong ones tio bo ...

[Meow^^]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

Totally agreed... thanks for the encouragement bro

Bro, you are not alone. There are people who is in the same boat as you.

Don't feel dejected, life isn't that bad. As you are still better off compare with those people who are worring their meals everyday. Being single doesn't mean is the end of the world. Look at this way, having a gf for the sake of having or having a gf who you want to be with till you get marry and spend good quality life style till the end.

Everyone will have their fare share of "dry" period just like a striker having goal draught. You will have your dry period over soon. All you need is to be patient. Let's natural run it course. The more you worry, the more negative it can be.

Hope for you all the best

[DegenerationX]

Originally Posted by Meow^^

Everyone will have their fare share of "dry" period just like a striker having goal draught.

Very well said.

[jj_jj]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

... Since i cannot pinpoint exactly what is wrong, i should just continue trying?

Bro,
Get your close friends' opinions. True friends will speak the truth.
Turn any weakness, if any, into strength. It may not even b a weakness but there's always room for improvement, even for the strong points

[staminadick]

hee hee maybe it is time for you to enjoy life w/o GF for a while.
Go adventure sport etc etc or Go chiong with Bros??

After that then get GF

[hunter12]

Originally Posted by SushiJiro

Been single for the past 3 years since my last relationship ended. Chanced upon my ex-gf FB and see that she is blissfully married and has a 1-year old son now. And inevitably I asked myself, what have i done with my own life for the past 3 years?
I have spent the last 3 valentines' day and CNY alone and mostly likely the coming one too... and more important than any special occasions, I am ashamed about how my life is stuck in a rut.
Naturally, you would ask why am I not picking myself up and moving on with life? Why am I not seeing anyone new?

Now here's where my issues lies - It is not that I did not try. In fact, I have never tried so hard in my life. I have tried everything- from having friends/colleagues introducing their female friend to me, to getting to know a complete new gal at the club.
But no matter what i do, the outcome seems to be always the same- the other party will take an extremely long time to reply sms and from her response, it is clear she is not the least interested in me (even as a friend).

I seemed to be perennially shut off by people now and there is almost nothing I can do when the other party simply does not respond. Things were not always like this, and I have had several normal relationships before. I don't know what has changed ( i.e. Could i have become extremely grotesque overnight) but things just aren't the same anymore.

bro, hmmm because of u saw ur ex gf somehow have a gd life after u two broke off (or either who leave who) and it spike the inner feeling of u? cause u to feel really down..? why torture yourself like that.... at least u r not bad either.. u r not into drug, become alcholic, did not lose your job or whatever... healthy n have a job to meet day end is good enough, is alot better than alot of ppl.... am serious..

i dunnoe how hard and how u try... but dose it occur to u that may be u try too hard and try too many times....? sometime is gd to take a step backward and enjoy life.... go on a single back pack trip to another country, explore it.. it will widen your eyesight..

stop the thought that no girls want to be your friend / gf or whatever.... n feel damm low about it... live for your own only bro... apart from 'girl', what is your other interests, i sure u have it, right?

another thing is that u got this 'craving', u form a very beautiful pic in your head... nice, understand, caring gf, enjoy life with her and thereafter happy and forever, but.. but but.... when ur 'craving' of having a gf.. alot of problems will follow too (might not b happen thout) gf want this want that want ur times... unreasonable, flirt around, broke ur heart etc etc... and i can bet u.. if u ask those married bros, at least i believed a 80% or even 90%will guarantee with stamp plus chop that they will not married if given a 2nd chance again... so, is not a very bad thing not to have gf / wife...

wish u luck in 2013 nevertheless..

[SushiJiro]

Originally Posted by hunter12

bro, hmmm because of u saw ur ex gf somehow have a gd life after u two broke off (or either who leave who) and it spike the inner feeling of u? cause u to feel really down..? why torture yourself like that.... at least u r not bad either.. u r not into drug, become alcholic, did not lose your job or whatever... healthy n have a job to meet day end is good enough, is alot better than alot of ppl.... am serious..

wish u luck in 2013 nevertheless..

Hi bro, thanks for the encouragement!

Actually, the "loser" feeling has less to do with my ex than my damaged ego after a series of continual disappointing outcomes. After my last relationship ended, i expected that it will take me some time to begin a new relationship- maybe 6 months, or 9 months or even a year? But little did i expect that nearly 3 years has gone by and i find myself slowly becoming a joke... sending sms that are not replied, prepared myself eagerly for a dinner only to have it cancelled last minute by the other party.

I guess it is one issue when a person feels that he/she is unable to meet the right person. For me, i think i have not even reached that stage yet... I am simply rejected by nearly everyone whom I am interested in or keen to know better.
I don't know what has changed in me. Like i mentioned, i had several decent relationships before so i assume i am not awfully grosteque or socially unacceptable.

Actually after posting my story and reading the feedbacks here, it has also made me think deeper about my problem. As much as it is about finding love, a large part of my pain is how awful it feels to be rejected and unwanted...

[SushiJiro]

My heartfelt appreciation to every single bro who have gave me advice here...this is not a problem i would feel comfortable sharing with my close friends, so after pouring out my heart here, it feels like i have just had a talk about my problems with my friends

[bmirror]

girls can smell desperation.. and desperation is not attractive no matter how good looking or eligible you are.

girls can smell fear.. your fearing of being rejected, your fearing of saying the wrong things or doing the wrong things, similarly fear is not attractive.

you should build up your confidence again by going out with girls that you dont really like as GFs, you never know, anything can happen

besides that, keep yourself happy, exercise, make money, try new things.. these will improve you in many ways and build up your confidence.

just my 2 cents worth..

[natsuki]

No one will look down on u as a loser, unless you ownself feel you are... Where are your confidence??

Hmmm... Think you should try knowing people more nearer to you, as in frequency...
Different frequecy, most of the time, leads to slow/no replies... ^^