Probably a cheating?

[merelyevil]

Originally Posted by sammyboyfor

NEVER... EVER tell your loved one that you visit prostitutes.... not this one, not future ones.... not the one you marry... NONE!

It will cause the end of 99.9% of all relationships. Even if you've been in a perfect marriage for years and you were never unfaithful during the relationship revealing your past activities with a prostitute could cause major upheaval.

Women will never understand or accept that their man visited whores for sexual gratification even if it occurred before the two of you met.

QFT. Golden advice. If you do, it is gonna be FUBAR

[sta1100]

Originally Posted by seekerJ

Hi everyone..
First time starting a thread and pardon me if I have any mistake.

I found out my gf been out with a guy alone and he send her from work to Sentosa beach for dinner and send her back home.
She totally lie to me that she having OT but actually with someone else.
I'm able to caught her when she left the guy car at her place. I was waiting for her there and there's no one else in the car but the guy. There's a good 3 minutes she was in there while the car is stationary.

I confronted her and she mention he's just a close friend and she don't want me to know she out with him becoz she do not want me to think other wise. Their meet up is seeking his advice about work and relationship problems.

I found out from her this is not the first time they have met and the guy is married and his wife may not know about it. I never hear of this guy during our rs for the last 5 years.

Many things running on my mind that should I buy her explaination because never in my mind she will do this.

Guys from above situation as a 3rd party what do you think?
All above are facts that i confirm and no added emotion on it.

Thank you all for reading and maybe advice or comment that follow..

dump her asap there other better than her,

[eroticbomb]

bro, just leave her and don't waste too much mental stress over this issue

[hil169]

Hows it bro?

[seekerJ]

Thanks everyone who are concern about my incident with my gf/fiancee.
To end this thread and I need to give a closure for all the bros here:

I request to give both time to cool down and think about our relationship after CNY and we will meet and talk about it.

During the meeting, I request a honest and truthful answer for all my questions. She agreed. She insist she is only close friend with that guy who is his Uni friend and so i request to look through their chat log to confirm. She refuse and mention she had deleted the msg. It's very obvious something is wrong for deleting your "Close friend" message. In the end she show me the their chat log, they have been messaging each other at least 3 months ago with intimate way like calling each other "baby", Jealous when with me?, "Sayang". I'm unable to look through all because she been fighting her phone back when I keep scroll to earlier chat.

In the chat, the guy mention not to reply his wife and not continue to message each other. Actually the guy's wife found out the affair when she check his phone. I pretty devastated finding out all these, all the lies and betrayal she done to me as I 100% trust her.

I have given her all the chances to make herself clear and be honest but again and again she been defending and deny her affair with him. After many questioning, she LL admit the affair and apologise her mistakes. She been lying to me last 3 months and seeing him. I found it unusual when she last min can't meet up and choose to meet her "friend". No reply from her after her work till 9 plus 10 plus that she just say reach home. I roughly guess they have met at least 10 times for the pass 3 months behind my back. It's this guy been trying to hit on her and offer her rides home. Within days or weeks of him meeting her, they have hold hands and kiss. She in the end admit that she kissed him in the car when I caught her that day.

Btw all these happen after I had propose to her last Dec and the guy's wife found out about them b4 I caught them. She has a chance to end this affair as I have already propose and that guy's wife found out about it but she still accept to meet him and still doing intimate things.

I feel that she been playing me all this time and I really cant continue this relationship. But I still love her and I wish to give her a last chance and forgive her. There's condition to continue the relationship, she have to be fully open and honest to me and she have to put in the effort to gain my trust back. She agreed. Then, I demand the first thing she have to do is to show me their full chat log because I want to know all the things they had done behind me if not I cant pass this hurdle.

She refused to show me because she don't want me to get hurt but this is the punch I have to take in order to continue on. She keep refusing and feel that it's her privacy right. We been tug of war on this for quite some time and if she don do it, we will just break up for good.

She still insist there's other way than doing this. But to me this is the only way. Till the end, I give up arguing and ask for break up. She cant accept it and still negotiating with me. It's definitely there are more things that they do/say that I cannot know.

I had enough and demand to break up and knowing this is it, she finally give me the chat but I decline it and just break up. It's too late already.
There's no point for me to continue this relationship as she's very egoist person that always want to be the winner. She say she still love me but I feel her ego is bigger than the love for me. We just walk away from each other.

After a few days, I choose to forgive her and decide to meet her again but she say there's nothing much to say and it's her mistake, we shouldn't meet again. I nearly beg her to meet then she agreed.
During the meeting, I say I have forgiven her and she cried and hug me. She didn't expect i will forgiven her and say she will ask me out next week to talk when I cool down. (If that's the case, then why she want to decline my offer to meet up)
I told her I choose to forgive you because I don want to bear grudges to each other and let's not end this in a bad note. I forgive doesn't mean we can get back together. After that she don't wish to touch me and nothing much to say. We just part way and we are officially broken up.

I'm glad that I'm able to find out all these b4 we got our BTO selection and all the marriage arrangement. She's not the one for me and I can't spend the rest of my life with her even though I still love her. It will be a love that I need to suffer. In a way I should thanks that bastard that make me see through her real self.
(He do know that I have propose to her and still wan to cont this affair behind her wife who just married one year ago, He's a real motherfucker)

[nutman38]

TS, take care manz!
You will need at least a few months or maybe years to get over it.
Stay Strong!

[hil169]

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

[6TRACY]

He cheated.
I found out.
Then,
I cheat too.

[merelyevil]

You made the right choice..hope tracy isn't the female lead

[sammyhunk]

Sad to hear that bro.

Anyway from your description, I'm quite sure she has done more than kissing or holding hands. At this point in time, her privacy is still so important to protect them to save the relationship. You are definitely someone she can afford to lose since she can last minute cancel on your dates and go mia till home.

Glad that you found out her true self before marriage. Else more heartbreak to come and definitely more painful too.

Cheers bro.

[sammyhunk]

Sad to hear that bro.

Anyway from your description, I'm quite sure she has done more than kissing or holding hands. At this point in time, her privacy is still so important to protect them to save the relationship. You are definitely someone she can afford to lose since she can last minute cancel on your dates and go mia till home.

Glad that you found out her true self before marriage. Else more heartbreak to come and definitely more painful too.

Cheers bro.

[randyrockhard]

Originally Posted by hil169

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

Brother warbird once shared a link about marriage, and the article said

The only reason a guy should ever get married is when he wants to have family, simply because the system takes side with the woman.

Once you tied the knot, the government declare that half of your wealth is hers by default, and your children would belong more to her than you.

So, you need to minimize the risk of those two things happening, that she may run away with your wealth and your children. Choose your wife wisely.

[seekerJ]

Originally Posted by hil169

Take care bro.

My gf once said she thinks messages should be kept private and not shown to anyone including bf. So i guess shes got something that she doesnt want me to see as well. That said, I'm fine with it. This day and age every guy and girl is talking to multiple potentials. Just like what the other bro said, hang on to one branch until another is secured. Difference is, i beg to differ, that it happens to both gender.

Shes busy with work, so am i. So I doubt theres any chance for either of us to cheat but we never know whether one is truely doing OT if you all get my drift. Now i seriously wonder if i should get married..

Bro I understand how you feel because I been through it but I never doubt my partner at all even I saw a guy selfie on her photo gallery. I just assume just some friend because he doesn't look good at all. I'm too confident of her that she will not talk to other guys beside me but I am the foolish one. It's not a bad thing to doubt on your partner when you realise something is not right. It's the gut feeling you know something is not right.

I wasn't sure I should get married with her as I feel we are not there yet but she been very anticipate to faster get marry because of age, family & friend pressure and having children. She can't wait to get marry and I am not sure she want to marry me because of love or just someone available to marry her to fulfill her desire.

I feel I am liberate from all these doubts and burden as I know she confirm not the one I want to marry after this incident. I truly see through her after so many years that she just wearing an Angel skin and portray a perfect, pure, demure and kind girl but deep down her heart you can't see how dark it is. All the lies and mind games she playing on me.

[seekerJ]

I able to find out that guy she having affair is our secondary school senior not her Uni friend. Btw we study the same school. So their rs can back track till that time and I found out from my close guy friend that guy has track record of playing around with girls even he's not handsome but having very good sweet talking skill.

I thought of some plan to get him but after much thinking it's really not worth of my time and effort to do all these. I believe what goes around comes around, karma will do the job for me. I have to let it go and focus on things that is important to me.

[boycott]

TS you need to consider yourself lucky you found out and broke off before marriage and your BTO.

Just imagine if you happily married then find out your wife doing this. There will be so much trouble and paperwork. Even if you forgive her one episode, everytime when she goes out alone in the future or stay back for OT it would easily rouse your suspicion. Then your wife will say you stalk her, never forgive her, asking lots of questions, limiting her freedom etc etc.

A tiger doesn't change his stripes, you never know what she will do again behind your back.
It is better off breaking up.

You are right, no point going after the other guy. There will be no satisfactory ending to your meeting with him, nothing much to achieve by meeting him.