Does the so call " true love " still exist???

[Dedgen]

Hi..
I'm a new guy here.. Just stumble across this forum here.. and decide to post something here which i'm going thru lately. By the way.. Before i carry on.. I've never fallen in love before and never had a GF till today.. But i had seen relationship come and go.. So more or less i picked up some lessons from friends as well.. As for age wise.. I'm into my 1st quarter if the century..
Lately.. i've known a malay girl from my company. Things started out well.. We've talked on the phone a few times for a couple of weeks. But things started to take a twist.. Suddenly.. She started avoiding me, refuse to answer my calls or even reply to my sms. Well.. its kinda sad. Cos i don't know what have i done or what have i said. I'm falling all the way down without knowing the reasons. Now i'm like a "Hi-Bye" friends. In which i'm very sad that it became like this. But i really don't wish to give it up like this.
Right now, things are more or less still the same. We've hardly see each other in the company lately nowadays, due to the different work timing. Because both of us are woking in shift in our company as when i'm in the morning, she's in the after noon and vice versa. But i still do send her frequent sms to her. Sad to say, i didn't have the chance to actually to talk to her to ask her if everythings alright and etc. 1 of the post said that i should find out from a 3rd party to find out more.. But here's the catch, i don't even know a single person from her side and not even her colleagues from her departmentit kinda foolish to embark on giving gift to someone who doesn't even celebrate christmas at all. But still i did, hoping that would actually or maybe.. eventually open up more "doors of chances" to go even further. Hoping that it'll turn out to be better than what i expected.. But to my dismay, things seems to be taking a different turn from what i expected. Sms seems to be ignored from her. no reply at all. (because everytime before i call her, i would sms her to check on whether if she is free or not) I wanted to ask her out.. you know.. for a dinner or something which doesn't even count as a date. But it seems that she would rather spend her time going back to company to work OT or spend the time with her family and friends. I respect her for the passion for work and love for her family.
i think that i'm actually prepared for the changes thats going to take place if i really suceeded in asking her to be my partner. But the current deal is.. I'm not even sure would i be able to go further given my current situation. You see.. smses had been ignored.. last week, when i saw her in the company, i was facing her and she was facing me.. I thought that a simple "Hi.. and bye.." to be said to her and to me too.. But somehow or rather, instead.. she treated me like a "invisible man" totally and completely ignore me.. And it keeps going on from wed thru friday.. and for that.. it makes me feel kinda sad and lost.. I don't know what happen or where did the hell did i went wrong.. I simply got no clue about it.. Just like a couple of you said.. "Time to move on.. no point hanging and waiting.. there's plenty of trees out there.."
But sometime, saying is much more easier than done.. But still.. even know i doesn't have a chance or maybe like TT Du Lai said "she's trying to be nice by not telling you that she thinks it is not possible between the 2 of you. It could be because of race, religion or simply because she does not fancy you. Her actions are clearly subtle hints to you, not to waste your time.. " he said. ButI would like to say this: " Have you ever woke up in the morning.. Feeling so hopeless.. Knowing that the love of your life is waking up with the wrong guy beside her.. And at the same time.. Hoping that she would still find happiness..??"

Had things be much more easier, i wouldn't be here writing a topic on this forum seeking for advice.
Lately i've tried to forget her and tried to move. Everytime i tried.. It just fail me. Until last week, i told myself. "I'll sms her for the last time and if she doesn't reply me again.. I'll give up and move on.." To my suprise, she did replied. only that she is busy with work and unable to talk on the phone. I told myself: " Finally, i got something back." So The next day, i sms again, this time around she said she will be working OT till next day morning.. So again.. I did not pursue on. Until yesterday, i meet her face to face finally. She expression on the face was like. Not pissed off nor avoiding kinda look. More like a suprised look i should say.. So i played nice and waved hello to her and walked off. "darn.. Why didn't i talked to her more instead of just walk off?" I regretted and today, i saw her again wiith her back facing me. I wanted to approach her and talk to her. But somehow or rather, my mind tells me just walk away without going towards her. So in the end i walked past her and ignore her (Not sure whether did she saw me or not.. I guess not)
Is this just me or is there a problem with me. I'm just a normal guy standing right here asking a girl to like him.. Is that hard? Sometimes i wish this kinda "love" thingy would be much much more simple.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by Dedgen

" Have you ever woke up in the morning.. Feeling so hopeless.. Knowing that the love of your life is waking up with the wrong guy beside her.. And at the same time.. Hoping that she would still find happiness..??"

Yes, feel like that... everyday for 7+ years already, ever since I married someone of my 'logical' choice rather than the one I love the most.

I understand the pain, the emptiness...

Originally Posted by Dedgen

Sometimes i wish this kinda "love" thingy would be much much more simple.

Humans are a funny lot... never contented. Even if love was simple, we would probably find a way to complicate matters and screw everything up.

[dominion]

First thanx to bro Deztruct's continued advice (hope my measly 1 point got go to you) I think what you said is very true, if I consider myself as a philandering man who inherited it then I wouldn't have a chance to be decent.

Perhaps now it is really because I'm so lonely and noone to relate to thats why find all this HCs and WLs. Its the company and intimacy(even though fake) that I crave more than just the O. Somehow, some WLs, not all, are just so much more easier to open up to and talk to, and it feels better emotionally afterwards. Though in some of these, end up liking the WL too much then will cause emotional havoc. hai

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by Dedgen

Is this just me or is there a problem with me. I'm just a normal guy standing right here asking a girl to like him.. Is that hard? Sometimes i wish this kinda "love" thingy would be much much more simple.

waa...bro..next time if u make such a long post..use more paragraph..i see until eye abit blur liao..anyway ur story is not tat unique..common to see such story..like guy n ger very close then suddenly ger stop contact etc etc..

based on my own exp..i feel that there is something tat muz hv happen..either u din noe abt it or u din mention it..the ger muz hv realised tat u treat her more than a frd..tats y she is tryin to keep a distance..

not blaming anyone here but sometimes when gers are more frdly to us..they juz wan to be frds not lovers..but of coz sometimes the guy might get mistaken also..in the end we juz hv to tell ourselves tat everything is juz a mistake..a beautiful mistake ba..

if u still wan to be frds with her..give her some time alone..mayb things will become beta this way

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by Dedgen

.
" Have you ever woke up in the morning.. Feeling so hopeless.. Knowing that the love of your life is waking up with the wrong guy beside her.. And at the same time.. Hoping that she would still find happiness..??"

but sometimes u noe tat there is nothin u can convince tat u are the one tat love her the most and not the guy with her now..u noe how the guy treat her and u noe tat u can treat her beta but in the end she still choose to be with him..

in the end its only words and words are all u have to take her heart away

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by dominion

Though in some of these, end up liking the WL too much then will cause emotional havoc. hai

dun worry abt ur 1 pt..any pt is appreciated

dunno hv u heard of this sayin tat there are some pple which u can love but can neva be with..based on same logic..there are some gers which u can get along very well but can neva love..i hv a few female frds which i am close to and whom i can +++ the whole nite but then again i noe tat its only frdship..if we try anythin further..end up even frdship also dun hv liao

[Know_yr_role]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

dun worry abt ur 1 pt..any pt is appreciated

dunno hv u heard of this sayin tat there are some pple which u can love but can neva be with..based on same logic..there are some gers which u can get along very well but can neva love..i hv a few female frds which i am close to and whom i can +++ the whole nite but then again i noe tat its only frdship..if we try anythin further..end up even frdship also dun hv liao

bro wassup... u seems to becoming our regular agony uncle... hehehe...R-E-S-P-E-C-T .....


this thread is still going strong...........cos many people are still searching for it "true love" ..........

tough......tough.......

[jintulan]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

...u noe how the guy treat her and u noe tat u can treat her beta but in the end she still choose to be with him...

I hope you are not trying to figure how the female brain works. Please,... don't!

[SDMM]

True love does exist but eventually reality sets in and the bread and butter issues like money and career comes into play

Put it this way, being with someone who understand how to maintain a relationship brings more happiness than being with someone based on feelings cos as time passes, this feeling will disappear

[asdfghjkl]

i suppose Dr Chee wife is someone willing to tolerate all his "nonsense"?

[luvpaper]

Originally Posted by SDMM

True love does exist but eventually reality sets in and the bread and butter issues like money and career comes into play

Put it this way, being with someone who understand how to maintain a relationship brings more happiness than being with someone based on feelings cos as time passes, this feeling will disappear

i agree but the sad thing is in order to bring more happiness u need less feelings for too intense a feeling will only bring about hurt for love is a double edged sword.

i also just heard on radio that it is scientifically proven that love lowers one vision, make one obsessive and one more i cant rmb but ya love makes us crazy and blind basically lol

proven with research one ok

[jinrenhe]

Originally Posted by Dedgen

Hi..
Things started out well.. We've talked on the phone a few times for a couple of weeks. But things started to take a twist.. Suddenly.. She started avoiding me, refuse to answer my calls or even reply to my sms. Well.. its kinda sad.
.. But somehow or rather, instead.. she treated me like a "invisible man" totally and completely ignore me..Is this just me or is there a problem with me. I'm just a normal guy standing right here asking a girl to like him.. Is that hard? Sometimes i wish this kinda "love" thingy would be much much more simple.

hi bro dedgen, like what bro destrucz said, ur experience of what happened--
everything started out well initially, but then suddenly things take on a bad turn without any apparent reasons or mistakes on ur part--- is not unique
(although painful)

i can understand how u feel... it's like how can 2 person who have gotten along so well suddenly become strangers jus like that? if there was a fight,or some obvious mistakes u make, at least her reaction is understandable right?

although a strange phenomenon, this has happened several times to me... and when i did "confront" her seeking a reason for her sudden coldness towards me, the standard answers i got were like
"oh i'm busy recently"
"oh u never come over & find me wat (that's why i dun find u)"

since u dun know much about her side, there cld be certain unknown reasons for her coldness towards u, for e.g. there's someone else in her life and she decides to give her priority to that person

But one thing for sure, she simply see u as someone like a normal friend

cease having any more expectations of a desired outcome as this would always create undue stress and disappointment... try to 以平常心面对.

A relationship (or even a simple friendship) takes 2 hands to clap--- there's only so much u can do on ur part. if she recipocrate, so much the better. if she doesn't, jus take it as another little learning experience of ur life which would see so much more later...

[Hugo168]

Originally Posted by Dedgen

Hi..
I'm a new guy here.. But sometime, saying is much more easier than done.. But still.. even know i doesn't have a chance or maybe like TT Du Lai
Is this just me or is there a problem with me. I'm just a normal guy standing right here asking a girl to like him.. Is that hard? Sometimes i wish this kinda "love" thingy would be much much more simple.

if you believe in what you say and work towards it you will succed one day, have faith and trust in your goals.

it's nothing wrong with trying and learning from your mistakes and you learn better from it then learning tru other's experience where you hear it's only when you go tru it you will truely understand it's true meanings.

Love was never meant to be simple it comes with sacrifices and alot of effort through test and obstacles. Quote "If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere".

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by jintulan

I hope you are not trying to figure how the female brain works. Please,... don't!

Have to figure out if it actually works first!

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

A relationship (or even a simple friendship) takes 2 hands to clap--- there's only so much u can do on ur part. if she recipocrate, so much the better. if she doesn't, jus take it as another little learning experience of ur life which would see so much more later...

Posted this in another thread as well:

I can't agree more. Never chase against a one-way street. Even if you do get her, its not likely that she is with you coz of love but some other reason. It's only in the movies that the girl would fall in love with a man due to effort and sincerity.