how cha bo use their charm

[colins]

First and last, one and only comment - Never fuck around with colleagues, dun say your are her superior, you colonel also no use.

[hardcoremayhem]

Originally Posted by assrammer

anyways, bro Champs, what you say quite true lah, it not easy to shallow pride, but it's the sudden turn of attitude that's so fake and non genuine. i don't really tu lan her like hate her or wanna beat her up you know? very uncomfortable working with this type people. like sometimes help her solve some problem, she become puppy eye at me, rub my arm say and thank me, don't know how to respond leh, because i know it's all fake, dig?

if most bros in my position, wah, she sure tio fuck one. knn, yo'al damn player lah. bro hugootober, you steady man! i really admire your guts. hope you didn't get into much trouble. i don't really want to use 'fuck her jia lat jia lat' for revenge. it's not a case of revenge at all la you know? side track, i prefer

respect. there are people who are like that in my company also. very fake.

personally, i just ignore them when they try to be nice to me to either curry favour or ask for favours.

[justime]

Originally Posted by colins

First and last, one and only comment - Never fuck around with colleagues, dun say your are her superior, you colonel also no use.

Hi Colins, Might as well go for the whole nine yards and say that "you president also no use" (and then cite Clinton vs Lewinsky).

Respectfully, we all know the platitude / axiom of not shitting/eating in the same backyard. It is politically correct and it definitely holds some nuggets of wisdom.

However, sexual dalliances always involve a degree of risk (especially outside a ‘monogamistic’ consensual relationship). It is whether you want or willing to take that risk that ultimately matters.

And should you decide to take on the risk – you must then have an appropriate strategy to mitigate this so that any ramification would be favorable / positive unto yourself. At the very least, the strategies applied should minimize any negative impact onto you.

Now, I am not sure how much is the fiction element in this very wonderful thread – or even the intention of Bro Assrammer (the TS). Afterall, he could jolly use this thread as a cautionary tale for “shitting in your own backyard”. But some of the issues raised (and the story narrative itself) is very interesting.

Yes, obviously I do have strategies for this type of office politics scenario – from a theoretical and personal experience front. I however cannot proffer any presently because of I would need more ‘facts’ before dispensing my two cents.

And I may be totally wrong here, but a bulk of readers in this forum do know about political correct ‘boundaries’ concerning office sexual politics. It’s the accompanying ‘risk taking’, its consequence (and for some the ‘how to’ for risk mitigation) that excites.

[see see only]

Originally Posted by colins

First and last, one and only comment - Never fuck around with colleagues, dun say your are her superior, you colonel also no use.

As the saying goes: Dont Eat & Shit at the same place

HOWEVER - TS welcome to the REAL world

Not saying the whole world is like this but "give free charcoal in the winter" kind of people very little and hard to find.

A piece of advice, play along with the game but keep your zip up in the office especially for she this type of CB

[colins]

Originally Posted by justime

Hi Colins, Might as well go for the whole nine yards and say that "you president also no use" (and then cite Clinton vs Lewinsky).

Respectfully, we all know the platitude / axiom of not shitting/eating in the same backyard. It is politically correct and it definitely holds some nuggets of wisdom.

However, sexual dalliances always involve a degree of risk (especially outside a ‘monogamistic’ consensual relationship). It is whether you want or willing to take that risk that ultimately matters.
..............

Yo bro justime, the reason why I said mentioned 'colonel' is becos that is a real case.

We can always use our brains and think of ways to get what we want wherever we are. We can even invent a fuel-less engine if we want even while our job is just to sweep the floor. The question is, what is our cause?

You can be a genius to cut sexual relationships so close to the line that demarcates the grey area, yes you can make off with it scot-free. Now wouldn't that redefine your purpose in your job, just to get a fuck?

I do admire the effort for restraining and tenacity displayed by bro TS. To me, it is like going to the loo with high tide and to keep it in for as long as possible. He seemed to have a reason in keeping it as status quo and I believe it is not becos he doesn't have guts. He probably sees a higher priority or a more meaningful purpose at work. The only thing that has changed is when he updated us on his previous post that he is changing his opinion on the person, rather than on 'the piece of pussy attached to that bitch'.

My opinion, and I dun mean to represent the mass, is that office romance is much more cleaner than an office affair. While I generally do not encourage even office romance among my colleagues, I can say it is still more honourable. If somebody in my team happens to 'go steady' with another in his team, and he dared to come clean with me, I may just say carry on but I'll be sensitive to any form of favouritism from then on. It is the intention of that relationship that is important. But of cos, if I ever discover an affair and I dun think he would dare to blow the news out with a trumpet, my first judgement will be that the fellow has misplaced both his work ethics and his brains on things that are not related to performance. 24-hour notice and I will never want to see him again.

While many of us are unable to fully assimilate your experience in such affairs, due to the multitude of variables existing and co-existing across changing conditions, I do appreciate if you could share some experience. Maybe some of us may start to believe that it is much easier than we thought.

[justime]

Originally Posted by colins

Yo bro justime, the reason why I said mentioned 'colonel' is becos that is a real case.
.........
My opinion, and I dun mean to represent the mass, is that office romance is much more cleaner than an office affair. While I generally do not encourage even office romance among my colleagues, I can say it is still more honourable......

While many of us are unable to fully assimilate your experience in such affairs, due to the multitude of variables existing and co-existing across changing conditions, I do appreciate if you could share some experience. Maybe some of us may start to believe that it is much easier than we thought.

Hi bro colins, nice lucid post with several excellent points.

1) Can you give me a gist of the "colonel" case? Sounds interesting.

2) Like the fact that you made a distinction between office "romance" and "affairs". Also glad to note that although not encouraged, you are flexible enough to tolerate Office Romance. A lot of organisations don't. So kudos to you on that!

3) Without a doubt there is an element of risk involved. The repercussions or fallout with the discovery of such an affair obviously differ from organisation to organisation. The TS heretofore did not set out the parameters of the consequence should such an affair be discovered. By the looks of things however, it appears that it may lead to even outright dismissal.

(Bro Assjammer needs to enlighten us. We presume dismissal but it could even be only a mild rebuke for such a transgression. A big MNC organisation that I am very familiar with issues only mild rebuke as they see it as a private matter. Goodness knows the ESVP himself is embroiled in such "scandals" - and it didn't really affect his career prospects did it?).

Now, with so much to lose: a job presumably Bro assjammer loves, a career whereby he expands considerable effort to build, it makes perfect sense not to jeopardize it just for a taste of forbidden fruit (pussy). It is indeed 'rational' in many aspects and probably the most expedient course of action is to resist the temptation: Value not commensurate with potential cost.

That being said, why succumb to the temptation at all? Why not use the energy and machinations needed to minimize the impact of a fallout to temperate self control? Saves all the hassles! Why risk so much for such ‘paltry’ returns? With the potential loss of income (and reputation) might as well use it to indulge the top end WL if you want a taste of exquisite pussy.

If interested, I will expatiate on the dynamics of why apparently intelligent men (who should know better) embark on such risky behaviour. It is not so simple as the lack in the exercise of ones ‘self control’ or even sublimating ones id. There are other psychological dynamics at play here.

As for the "strategic" how to, I will at the outset also state that:

1) The strategies I offer are NOT easy to execute. It is also energy expanding. Energy that could better be used to further ones business and career prospect.

2) The best of plans do go awry many a times. So the “hero” must be prepared to face the full consequence. A lot of men know of the repercussions – but still go along with illicit office affair with a “hope for the best” attitude. Their so called strategies usually consist of should they be caught out scenarios. Not much go by way of pre-emptive strategies.

3) The “hero” don’t plan to get caught all. And if they are caught, the so call damage control measure is usually in the realm of macho posturing (“machismo”) and/or stoic acceptance

Full marks for attitude / behavioral predisposition but poor scores on planning and foresight – you need BOTH chutzpah and a good plan by the way to have an Office Affair with Panache.

4) A Good Plan must include the Preemptive AND Damage Control measures.

Like in the realm of damage control, purportedly intelligent men do know of the consequence of a forbidden relationship. And so they will take some sort of action to cover up the tracks as preemptive measures. “Cover up tracks” unfortunately does not go far enough. Obscuring an office affair is only a level one preemptive measure. It hardly qualifies as a strategic plan.

Okay .. will not go too far for now. Will leave it for Bro Assjammer to continue his excellent narrative (and then take his lead on the topic for discussion). I will go with the flow as I really don’t want to bore readers with dry “how to” material especially when a good plot narrative is unfolding.

[eeemen]

Bro Justime,

I enjoyed reading your various dissertations and the way you have expounded & elucidated your thoughts. Incredible insights!! Cheers.........

[IcyMula]

I really hate these type of people, attitude suddenly change, and listen to all of the things you say now, cos your rank is bigger den his/her.

For this case is a her, den is you must be always on your guard even at outside or drinking relxing with your office friend with her ard.

1) She might be trying to gather whatever information about you doing things you should not do in the office

2) Trying to make you very comfortable till you let down all guards and one big knife one your back thatcos you to get Demoted and other stuff

3) Just be nice to her at time as her head, dun let personal feeling get in the way, just help liaoz and siam, helping too close might be a very bad idea

4) Never try and UP someone from the office specially these type of women ( unless you got good backup protection plan)

5) Want to up these type of women, make sure you wear a Helmet, you never know if the her below got fangs, worst is poison fangs ( poison from other mans)

6) if out to drinking, dun drink too much if she is around cos that is when shit happens.

7) what you do to her now in the office might happen X10 back to you if what you ask her to do is letting her build up her anger and revenge ( something got to do with point number 3)

For my case, i will help her as a sup and den siam her if there is nothing that need to invole her at all. Will not go drinking or out with her alone, even if go drinking in a group i will siam her as much as possible and enjoy my drinks (might also plan who live near her send her back)

These type of people i will never plan to have them as friends in the every first place, sorry to say i am a cold person, or weird but for the sake of my peaceful days i rather not get close to pple in the office hehe

well is just my 2 cents, just dun let ur bro below make all the choices for you, always question and beware of the choice the bro below mades hehe

[assrammer]

well, first off, to bro RayCom

thou you have found the love of your life (as a matter of fact, i really envy and admire you), i'm kinda like stuck inbettween the fence. my mind tells me things will change, and things always change. just can't get around this.

as for your mother is the only woman you can trust, FULLY AGREE!

i have no idea what the hell bro watmidoin is talking about (really funny thou.....), please enlighten me. 1, 2, 3 goals? what the fuck? do i really sound like that much of a pussy to you? i hope i didn't throw the bros' face here....... (fuck, maybe i did, i didn't up her, ok, my bad........, so that makes me a pussy?)

bro justime and bro collins seems to have much insight on this matter, thou they are on different sides of the fence i think.

so, here's break down:

what i've gathered from the gossips, is that the girl (let's give her a name: cheryl) has had a fling with one of the partners before. and when that partner decided to pull out, there was a major re-org (hence my promotion)

there are 2 know couples in the office, 1 or 2 more ground staff. it's fine with the company, i think (my company is very sales orientated, so it doesn't really matter as long as we hit the numbers, american company, go figure).

ok, what happened during this time:

all this time that she's been telling me stuff, i kinda get the feeling she's from a well off family (indonesian, chinese) . she doesn't have to work if she choose not to. why she had the fling with the partner, i don't know. all i know is that guy is married with kids, not good looking, and it went on for some time.

i go reluctantly everytime she asks me to lunch, i never ask her, i don't care who i have lunch with. but lately, cheryl and i don't meet up that often now, she stopped inviting me to lunch. and she also stopped her 'little gestures'.

but we still go out for drinks once a while (again, it's she ask me, serious) then she pours her heart out to me over drinks. the night usually ends with she going home alone, i make sure she don't get too drunk and can go back on her own.

last time she was telling me about how her last relationship ended (which i suspect is one of the partners), how hurt she was, why men can't be trusted and that kind of shit....... say she's a simple girl...... blah blah blah.....

so far, i've always kept a distance and she's always opening up to me, i get the feeling she's not out for material gains, but sincere relationships. maybe that's why she puts up that stuck up facade.

i'm quite sure if i really wanted to bang her, i could, i just don't know what this is going to lead to. she's a hot woman, no doubt, but she behaves weird.

update you guys in a couple of weeks. enjoy.

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by assrammer

i'm quite sure if i really wanted to bang her, i could, i just don't know what this is going to lead to. she's a hot woman, no doubt, but she behaves weird.

update you guys in a couple of weeks. enjoy.

Well, she definitely sounds like a keeper! Or at least, someone you can't even chase away with a broom after you're done with her!

I don't think she's safe for you to play around, bro. By observations alone, she should be the clingy type.

Can pass me her contact so I can up her for you?

[justime]

Originally Posted by assrammer

….

bro justime and bro collins seems to have much insight on this matter, thou they are on different sides of the fence i think.

Not diametrically opposite.

At a prima facie level, I absolutely agree with Bro Collins that the most expedient course of action is to NOT get sexually, emotionally or romantically involved – (with a big caveat) that is IF you can help it.

(Most people seem to agree here on this point – its after all CONVENTIONAL WISDOM!)

Notwithstanding conventional wisdom, I detect in your narrative that there are undercurrents (residing in the subconscious) that compel you toward Cheryl – in spite of yourself.

So despite ‘knowing’ the negative repercussions of being romantically involved, probabilities are such that you will still get sucked in – especially if there are sustained interactions between you and Cheryl (largely unavoidable given that you work together).

A Brief Psychological Babble: Please ignore this section if theoretical abstraction bores you.

//////////////////////////////////

The psychological factors that attract you toward Cheryl cannot be resisted merely by the exercise of ones ‘self control’ (will power).

As is, there are evidences (nuanced) in your narrative to show that your base instinct (sexual energy) is constantly being sublimated by your rational mind. And your Rational mind is aware of the moral code of conduct governing romantic dalliances between colleagues.

In simplified neo Freudian: it is the id (base instinct), ego (rational mind) and superego (moral code) interplaying.

Taking in data only from your narrative, I discern the efforts to “transfer” this sexual energy (or libido) into a different emotion (e.g. empathy of Cheryl’s plight). The transference is so that you can avoid confrontation with the sexual urge. From evidences heretofore provided by your narrative, the sexual energy is not suppressed – it is only merely transferred or sublimated.

For example, see how you wrestle with temptation when Cheryl got drunk. The fact that you control your impulse the first time round does not automatically mean that you will be successful in another time and situation. The sexual urge is still percolating beneath your apparent successful resistance.

//////// Psych babble over ////////////////////////////////////

Since you know that there is a probability of Romantic involvement is relatively high, doesn’t it then make sense to take action to minimize the fallout or avoid negative consequence altogether.

Trust me – words in the form of advice from brothers (including me), self reminders and sheer willpower may not insulate you when it comes to the temptation in a new incarnation!

Suppressing the sexual energy by quitting your job to avoid this temptation is silly. If you are to leave your job, might as well enjoy this little sumptuous Indonesian nookie – who knows this little affair might not even have a negative consequence career wise!

All things considered, unless you are able to suppress this sexual energy, the expedient route to go is therefore take appropriate defensive steps as per my above to minimize fallout – if any.

(And by the way, notice that I did not talk about Office Politics per se. Once there is more data, the Office Politics element will be included/incorporated as part of the strategic plan to minimize negative consequence)

Cheers….

Looking forward to a new installment Bro Assrammer!