Tot you trying to escape from HFJ?
Control, don't go, targeted budget won't work, you will spend more, control, take a deep breath
Like me tonight, only went to 2 joints with my current syt meimei to give ang-pows to the flower girls as a gesture of appreciation for their good service. Singers asked for ang-pows and I told them my any-pows only for the staffs and they should give me ang pows instead No hang flower and all that shits....me and my girl had only few glasses and now back to mountain for a cool night
You are Da Man....wish I can collect your ang pow....
Some of the joints, at the lower end of the spectrum, the girls are really trapped in a hopeless situation, akin to truly being Hetaera, without the respect or even dignity and truly imprisoned in their gowns. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hetaera
The number of truly big flower kings have really diminished from the 10 odd to maybe around 6 right now, and if you notice their hanging patterns, it is usually much more conservative than even a couple of years back.
I speak from the perspective of a buyer ending up with the short end of the stick, caveat emptor, buyer beware.
I had a interesting conversation with one of close friends who was trying to warn me about girls... And i told him, i was truly aware of the industry and more importantly, it is all about money in the end, yes there is true love, but in most cases it is still fueled by money.
So i sort of shocked him by saying, each girl had to set their own price, whether it is love, or attention or time spent on them or whether it is tangible objects or cash 1k 2k 3 k 4k or 10k... So the main issue is the right market price.. hate to be so crude)
As he was falling in love with one singer for the first time, himself, so i am keeping a wary eye out, less than 1k so far in the first month, but he is already getting into the system.
Symptoms.
a. Worrying about the number of mandatory tables, she need per week.
b. Worried that during PPC, she did not get any flowers.
c. Worried that he needs to hang every time he goes to the joint.
d. Going into the dusk to dawn mode....
e. Getting very understanding when she needs to go for supper with other customers etc.... he does not really understand what it means.
Ah yes, 6 months feel bored, then you shift to another club and hope springs afresh
Escape planning in progress,
V1.2 beta escape plan not feasible, redrafting v1.3
This is the dynamics of a hfj which you can exploit to screw the singer if this is what you want...you have to ask yourself what is the end game...some wants love some wants a screw...maybe some just want to while away the time and some companionship...if you are sure of what you want then you will not fall into any self fulfilling trap
Some of the joints, at the lower end of the spectrum, the girls are really trapped in a hopeless situation, akin to truly being Hetaera, without the respect or even dignity and truly imprisoned in their gowns.
...
...
Escape planning in progress,
V1.2 beta escape plan not feasible, redrafting v1.3
Just like your comment that they are trapped in their gowns,
I would encourage you not to be trapped in HFJ (Hang Flower Jacket).
It's a passing phase of your life and u are free to choose to end it earlier
than later. In that sense, you are in better shape in that you are free to choose,
some unfortunate ones struggles very hard to even have the freedom of choice.
Turn your escape from HFJ into an escape from Alcatraz, 'cos no one
wants to return to Alcatraz ... and be finally free.
You have a goal as epitomised in your nick. Just need strong will to execute.
一年之计在于春, 离厂之计在于今 (厂 as in HFJoint)
Best wishes for a successful escape, no more betas, no more redrafts.
Come back to visit Alcatraz as a tourist, and not a player
Also, best wishes for those bros that choose to remain in this playground,
exercise control and restraint and play within your means, both financially and emotionally.
There is a reason why almost no one broke out of Alcatraz before it closed down and became a tourist attraction unless you are referring to the club which closed down at cairnhill place...hahahaha.....
There is no need to escape from hfjs....just managed it accordingly...
In today's evening newspaper, about one couple. They worked very hard to setup a printing company, good business, then the husband started to enjoy all night events, spent all money, ignored his business, now need to sell HDB to pay bank loan.
IMHO, that guy in the paper deserved what he is now. Not so much of an addiction in his case but rather a person who has forgotten his humble beginnings, earlier struggle together with his wife, poor money mangement and most importantly - Mixing with 猪朋狗友,夜夜萧歌.
正所为: 一年之计在于春,一日之计在于晨, 一家之计在于和,一生之计在于勤
Quote:
Originally Posted by taiwanmei
As for hfj addiction, my friend told me, after 6 months, you will feel very bored. I went a few times, but never miss any of the hfj or singer. Lucky.
And these days, really no good, lny songs all hfjs, terrible for ears. We are so familair with these songs, so if the singer can not sing somehow, WaKao life.
IMHO, that guy in the paper deserved what he is now. Not so much of an addiction in his case but rather a person who has forgotten his humble beginnings, earlier struggle together with his wife, poor money mangement and most importantly - Mixing with 猪朋狗友,夜夜萧歌.
aaaa
正所为: 一年之计在于春,一日之计在于晨, 一家之计在于和,一生之计在于勤
曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云。取次花丛懒回顾，半缘修道半缘君
Bro I.K, my thoughts are in agreement with the phrase 猪朋狗友,夜夜萧歌.
It was someone who introduced me to HFJ and i had to buy my first bottle... and my first flower.
So it is definitely, the right people or wrong people that makes all of the difference.
Had to learn a lesson, the wrong way.
People live their lives in social circles, I visualise it simply as the shopping centre at parklane, during day time, it is normal, at night it becomes a different place altogether....
The wrong friends can lead one down the wrong path completely.
IMHO, that guy in the paper deserved what he is now. Not so much of an addiction in his case but rather a person who has forgotten his humble beginnings, earlier struggle together with his wife, poor money mangement and most importantly - Mixing with 猪朋狗友,夜夜萧歌.
正所为: 一年之计在于春,一日之计在于晨, 一家之计在于和,一生之计在于勤
曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云。取次花丛懒回顾，半缘修道半缘君
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoralEpitome
This is the dynamics of a hfj which you can exploit to screw the singer if this is what you want...you have to ask yourself what is the end game...some wants love some wants a screw...maybe some just want to while away the time and some companionship...if you are sure of what you want then you will not fall into any self fulfilling trap
Bro, this is the $$ question, i thought i was the type that could learn to be like one of my friends, to exploit the dynamics to get a screw, unfortunately, you are right, i was unsure of what i wanted, so i got into lots of traps, see one, sian one, love one.
So the better thing is to let go completely and not to say escape, but to come back again as a tourist and not into the system so to speak.
Cheers
ESP
Just like your comment that they are trapped in their gowns,
I would encourage you not to be trapped in HFJ (Hang Flower Jacket).
It's a passing phase of your life and u are free to choose to end it earlier
than later. In that sense, you are in better shape in that you are free to choose,
some unfortunate ones struggles very hard to even have the freedom of choice.
Turn your escape from HFJ into an escape from Alcatraz, 'cos no one
wants to return to Alcatraz ... and be finally free.
You have a goal as epitomised in your nick. Just need strong will to execute.
一年之计在于春, 离厂之计在于今 (厂 as in HFJoint)
Best wishes for a successful escape, no more betas, no more redrafts.
Come back to visit Alcatraz as a tourist, and not a player
Also, best wishes for those bros that choose to remain in this playground,
exercise control and restraint and play within your means, both financially and emotionally.
That is another way of putting things into perspective, Hang Flower Jacket, looking back, it was really crazy, and its all about mind issues and games...
That singer of mine was really a veteran, and i had a good post grad education in a year, if i have the time, i could write a doctorate thesis on the nightlife, easy availability of girls, and the impact on singapore society, where prostitution is legal and how it distorts society.
But i will leave it till when i am 65, so that i can have fun till then .
In my heart, i doubt i will be really out of the HFJ scene. It could be total abstinence from HFJ, but i doubt i could really do that for the rest of my life time. So the best i can do and hope once i get my life back on track is to come back and enjoy the experience and life style within my means and manage it as well.
Cheers Brothers, i am not going to hang any single dollar for HFJs till, i get my life back on track.
Bro I.K, my thoughts are in agreement with the phrase 猪朋狗友,夜夜萧歌.
It was someone who introduced me to HFJ and i had to buy my first bottle... and my first flower.
So it is definitely, the right people or wrong people that makes all of the difference.
Had to learn a lesson, the wrong way.
People live their lives in social circles, I visualise it simply as the shopping centre at parklane, during day time, it is normal, at night it becomes a different place altogether....
The wrong friends can lead one down the wrong path completely.
These types of 夜夜萧歌猪朋狗友 are aplenty in HFJ/KTV and night joints. Especially free loaders and using our ass as their face. Most often than not, these "dog meat friends" are not trustworthy and reliable nor good at at keeping confidence and will tell everyone at the 1st opportunity and spreading rumors. One do not expect them to defend you when you are in trouble. They will just go with the flow of change of events. I personally had terminated and kicked out 1-2 of them among my groups of friends/bros. Normally, these are those that got involved with my groupies through introduction by other friends/bros and mind you, they are not poor or jobless but professional with good salary (in fact, we do not mind at all if our friends/bros are tight on cash or in trouble cos we will offer help all the way)
Anyway, being Good Friends/Bros are not just about having a good time with others. It's far more important than just drinking, cheonging, talk cocks and singing songs. It involves meaningful conversation and sincerity that is more than just an acquaintances and are willing to put friends 1st or point out when they're doing something we don't agree with. Most importantly, willing to make available to friends at short notice and welcome them if they turn up at our doorsteps.
You be surprised that even in this thread there are a few of them that can keep in a "potential reallife goodfriend book" even though their style might not be your cup of tea. I did actually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 花场Escapefrom
i am not going to hang any single dollar for HFJs till, i get my life back on track.
We can't always get what we want in our lives...it's about moderation and living within your means...of course that does not mean that we just stagnate and do not improve our means...for me even as a poor employed person I see no harm in hanging a few hundred for the singer who kept me company though the night, this is out of appreciation for her company and her time bearing in mind that they also need to earn a living....of cos if you earn more you can hang more if you earn less than hang less....do not take advantage of the singers and do not let the singers take advantage of you....imho singers are better at entertaining you than the typical mm as they are train to do so....this is why it can be more fun to be with a singer than a typical mm....abit more challenging and fun....so as long as it's your cup of tea go ahead and drink it...just make sure you don't shallow more than you can bite! (;
....of cos if you earn more you can hang more if you earn less than hang less....
Easy to say that, but I saw so many bros to throw money for face, not really think their pocket too much. Out of HFJ, they try hard to find all discounted goods and food, park their car very far from HFJ, save a few dollars. Once in HFJ, easily 500, 1000.
I really like your style, can control properly, think wisely.
These types of 夜夜萧歌猪朋狗友 are aplenty in HFJ/KTV and night joints. Especially free loaders and using our ass as their face. Most often than not, these "dog meat friends" are not trustworthy and reliable nor good at at keeping confidence and will tell everyone at the 1st opportunity and spreading rumors. One do not expect them to defend you when you are in trouble. They will just go with the flow of change of events. I personally had terminated and kicked out 1-2 of them among my groups of friends/bros. Normally, these are those that got involved with my groupies through introduction by other friends/bros and mind you, they are not poor or jobless but professional with good salary (in fact, we do not mind at all if our friends/bros are tight on cash or in trouble cos we will offer help all the way)
Anyway, being Good Friends/Bros are not just about having a good time with others. It's far more important than just drinking, cheonging, talk cocks and singing songs. It involves meaningful conversation and sincerity that is more than just an acquaintances and are willing to put friends 1st or point out when they're doing something we don't agree with. Most importantly, willing to make available to friends at short notice and welcome them if they turn up at our doorsteps.
You be surprised that even in this thread there are a few of them that can keep in a "potential reallife goodfriend book" even though their style might not be your cup of tea. I did actually.
It is a wise decision
i had to learn the hard hard way, sometimes, life have to hit you over the head with a large hammer, in order for a person to wake up.
Friends.
a. One friend borrowed 10k and now wants to pay me back 100 bucks a month, whilst drawing a pay of about .2.5k a month.
b. Another borrowed 3k over a year ago and now have money to hang thousands, whilst not even bothering to pay me a single cent.
With such friends...
As I write this, i got a few more "friends" asking me to go down, to a place that i really do not want to go to, over and over again and they are the staff of that place.
So that really sucks, apparently, when i tell them i am broke, everyone things i am joking (
Best of all yet another singer called, and i was trying to tell her, why are you still calling me.
a. I am not going to hang flower, I just want to get her out to make love to.
b. She can still invite me down to her boss birthday party tomorrow aargh 郁闷。
c. I got to give her the top award for persistence and would hire her as a sales person, if i had the cash.
Life is funny, one door closes and another few doors open.
Life is funny, one door closes and another few doors open.
You said it right, bro!
I couldn't believe what a great start to Rabbit Year for myself too!.
Saturday: Received a call from a long lost friend and she gave me her new mobile number, went to buy 4D with the number and came out 1st prize 8025
Sunday: Received an sms from a singer and she asked me to check if her 4D numbers came out in last Wednesday's Big Sweep draw. It didn't and without wasting an opportunity and with the Saturday winnings, I betted big on her 4 numbers and it came out 3th prize 8430 last night!
Double Happiness! and Be taking another long vacation very soon!
1st got to cure my current hangover after last night heavy session then go Singapore Pool to collect the winnings
Afterthat, need to work out on giving some of the winnings as ang pows to selective old folks homes and to the 2 Goddess of Wealth and continued my semi-retirement (escape from 花场) from HFJ/KTV
Last edited by Ichigo_Kurosaki; 07-02-2011 at 10:49 AM.
Due to current BY, I have not been making tours of HFJs for a while and so have not contributed to this thread. But to this general question of approaching HFJs, let me offer a few observations of one cheongster:
Very much agree w BroME that you need to ask what you want to get out of HFJs / why you go.
There are some bros who view the singers as basically the same as KTV MMs, just perhaps more expensive to maintain. I largely agree with this view, but with some qualifiers I'll explain later. So here one reason as I think it was Bro DYBJ put it was that it's easier to ensure faithfulness of your singer, due to their schedules and openness of where they ply their trade
Or you like HFJs because you enjoy the flower fights or you enjoy the face of others seeing your support of your gal. I know quite a few singers at various joints, and the experienced ones usually believe that face/pride is the biggest driver of the big hangers.
Or you just like the atmosphere / company, and don't really view it as a hunting ground for sex. This was my original view of HFJs. I used to be able to control my hangings to X hundreds (more for a show), without actually chasing anyone. I still preferred KTV MMs then and actually still do
So if you know what you want in advance, hopefully you can stick to your plan. And if your reason is not the last one above AND your funds are limited, I would strongly recommend just staying away from HFJs
If you are open to chasing FBs or BYs in a HFJ, then some words of caution:
It's definitely a lot more expensive in general to support a singer than a KTV girl at the same quality levels.
If you do like to hunt in HFJs, my experience is that supporting a singer at a smaller joint is much much cheaper than at one of the top 5 joints, at least if she's anything resembling popular
My BY at a top joint cost my 4-5x what my BY at a small joint cost (tho much of this was their relative popularity). At a big joint their expectations are much higher of course. And big joints have big hangers, some of whom seem especially to enjoy chasing singers whom they know already have BFs. (this is likely due to the face of winning someone else's GF). At the mid-size joint, it seemed once others knew my singer had a bf, they completely stopped chasing her
Yes I realise I could have 'tested' her commitment to me by not supporting as much, but for whatever reason I allowed the competition to affect me and hung more
Keep in mind just because of their requirement to work every day and book tables and do shows with minimum flowers, they are under a lot of pressure that KTV MMs don't have. That alone makes it more expensive to spend time with your BY and to make her feel less pressured
I actually do think, amongst some of the fresh arrivers, that you can find a a trustworthy girl, as there are those who foolishly believe they can make it w/o a BF and so turn down many ST offers. But 95%+ are very savvy and perhaps tricky, so buyer beware! The stories of their treachery you learn about in HFJs is quite amazing, I guess because the open nature allows all the others singer to see/speculate and so gossip
06-02-2011, 10:36 AM
