Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Sweden1958]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Thanks bro for sharing, wishing to read more.

[tagota]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

I cant stop laughing comrades

A man boarded a taxi going home one evening

But before the taxi took off, he saw his wife entering a lodge with another man.

He quickly asked the taxi driver: do you want to make more money amounting to k1000 in a few minutes?

The tax driver happily answered: Of course Sir, What do I do for you?

The man said: here is a photo of my wife, go inside that lodge get me my stupid wife as you pull her by her hair here!

But few minutes later, the man was surprised to see the taxi driver dragging a different woman out of the lodge, kicking and slapping her terribly while the woman was screaming.

The man shouted at the taxi driver: Noo!! Please leave that woman alone, She is not my wife... Have you confused the picture?

The taxi driver answered: Relax Sir,
This one is mine, hold her for me as I go get yours out too....

😂😂😂

Hahahaha funny one ROFL

[bigbirdbird]

Hello young lovers! Has this ever happened to you?

You and your sweetie have finally gotten off by yourselves. You find yourself at Inspiration Point or some cozy lovers lane and things are really getting hot! You reach in your glove compartment and oh no!

No condoms!

Well your next move is to ruin the moment by driving to a convenience store, humiliating yourself by getting change, then rushing into the restroom to the "Love Machine" to buy one while some weirdo watches you from the stall. Meanwhile, your sweetie has "lost the urge" sitting out in the car with the windows fogged up and asks to be taken home!

Not a pretty picture is it?

Well! Your troubles are over! RUBBER HUT is here!

Yes, our radio dispatched pink delivery vans are on patrol. We can get there in ten minutes!(Home delivery make take a little longer) We constantly patrol lovers lanes with all your favorite kinds of condoms, from drug store variety to specialty types. Just call on your cellular phone (we cater to yuppies) and we will be there in minutes with your selection.

You can easily spot our vans on patrol.

They have a pink light on their antennas with the words "SAFE SEX" in white letters. Just tell the driver what you need. We take all charge cards or we can open an account for you if you want.

Just dial, 555-LOAD or *RH on your cellular!

Rubber Hut motto:

"WHEN YOU'RE IN HEAT, WE'RE JUST DOWN THE STREET"

[bigbirdbird]

Handsome Vinnie had a great vacation visiting the back room of every gay bar on Castro Street, but it left him somewhat worse for wear.

When he got home he called up a friend who practiced homeopathic medicine and complained that his rectum was terribly swollen and tender.

The friend recommended making a poultice of herbal tea leaves and applying it to the area.

It did relieve the irritation a bit, but the next morning found Vinnie still in considerable discomfort, so he hobbled over to the office of a proctologist who served the gay community. In the examining room, the good-looking fellow bent over and spread his cheeks.

The doctor clucked sympathetically and started investigating.

"Well, Doctor?" asked Vinnie after a few minutes had passed. "What's the diagnosis?"

"It's not completely clear, darling," admitted the proctologist, "but the tea leaves recommend a Caribbean cruise for the two of us."

[Hurricane88]

Laugh with me 😃😃😃😃
It was a Practical Session in the Psychology Class.

The Professor showed a large cage with a Male Rat in it.

The Rat was in the middle of the cage.

Then, the Professor kept a piece of Cake on one side and kept a Female Rat on the other side.

The Male Rat ran towards the Cake and ate it.

Then, the Professor changed the Cake and replaced it with some Bread.

The Male Rat ran towards the Bread.

This experiment went on with the Professor changing the Food every time.

And, every time, the Male Rat ran towards the Food item and never towards the Female Rat.

Professor said: This experiment shows that Food is the Greatest Strength and attraction.

Then, one of the Students from the back rows said:

"Sir, why don't You change the Female Rat?This one may be his Wife!"

😀😛😜😂😂😂😂

The Professor stood straight up pointing his finger towards the Student and said "You are a Damn Genius" 😂😂😂

[Hurricane88]

Monday laughter....

[dyelook]

laughter bumps....

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Monday laughter....

Nice pic and jokes.

[denton]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Laugh with me 😃😃😃😃
It was a Practical Session in the Psychology Class.

Nice joke and great sharing.
Thanks so much.

[keppelelectric]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Monday laughter....

All manholes to cover up haha.
Thanks for the nice jokes.

[waukesha]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Handsome Vinnie had a great vacation visiting the back room of every gay bar on Castro Street, but it left him somewhat worse for wear.

When he got home he called up a friend who practiced homeopathic medicine and complained that his rectum was terribly swollen and tender.

The friend recommended making a poultice of herbal tea leaves and applying it to the area.

It did relieve the irritation a bit, but the next morning found Vinnie still in considerable discomfort, so he hobbled over to the office of a proctologist who served the gay community. In the examining room, the good-looking fellow bent over and spread his cheeks.

The doctor clucked sympathetically and started investigating.

"Well, Doctor?" asked Vinnie after a few minutes had passed. "What's the diagnosis?"

"It's not completely clear, darling," admitted the proctologist, "but the tea leaves recommend a Caribbean cruise for the two of us."

Thanks for the nice jokes.

[Hurricane88]

Full life cycle...

[StrongBrew]

One day little Johnny was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to investigate.
"Hello Johnny, what are you up to?" he asked.
"My goldfish died and I'm gonna bury him," Johnny replied.
"That's a really big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" asked the neighbor.
"That's because he's inside your cat!"

[StrongBrew]

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man in white and stuck a knife at his ribs.
"Give me your money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this – I’m a minister in the government!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "Give me MY money!"

[StrongBrew]

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours."
The guy left.
A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."
The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."
The guy left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back."
A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?"
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"