Sex Life after Marriage

[SneakyBastard]

Hi Sis Fade,

I just recently stumbled upon this thread but I think I can offer some perspective (over & above what others have already said)

You guys had a shotgun marriage. How prepared was he for that?

How are your finances? Did getting married & having a baby unexpectedly put a sudden strain on his/ your finances? Did he have other plans for his life that he had to curtail because of you & baby? Do you spend a lot or splurge on unnecessary things that drives him up the wall?

What was it that attracted him to you & can you bring that back & make him fall in love with you again? Try not to demand sex, or even attention. That just puts him off.

If you must, mausterbate yourself (to scratch your own itch) but don't do it in front of him. If you do it in front of him at this time, it sends the message that he's not needed, or worse, useless in bed...

Make him want you. Start by losing that junk in the trunk. No excuses, just do it.

If you're worried about him eating out, that ask yourself what you would do if he really was? Would you divorce him? Or is your marriage important enough that you want to win your man back? Truth is, even if he isn't eating out and is physically present, he's not there with you in spirit.

If you really still want him, you have to work for it, not demand it. Sorry to say this is the sad truth. Even if you bear him 10 kids, a man can still choose not to be with you. You must make him choose to be with you, not be with you because he's forced to because he's married to you.

Last but not least, you should consider marriage counselling & sex therapy. At least get help for your own depression.

As a last resort (& this is a kamakazie tactic that will very likely end your marriage), have an affair. Bro & sis reading here please don't flame me for saying this, but this tactic has worked for me many times in many forms: when all else fails, try the unexpected.

Speaking from personal experience, I was also "forced" into marriage by shotgun. I hate being forced to do anything, & I didn't like the idea of marriage (I still don't). If I had things my way, we'd be a happily unmarried couple.

But that didn't stop the sex. Wife was so horny we were still doing it the day b4 she popped, & very soon afterwards (the day the gyane said ok, in fact immediately upon returning home from the appointment). And yes, I did witness the birth & stuff. I even cut the umbilical cord.

My second was different. Entering into the 2nd trimester, she felt great discomfort & was often tired. This may have been due to more stress from work & taking care of the first 1. Sex after the second birth was also infrequent & mechanical.

By the I was already eating out a fair bit. Recently, wifey found out. Of course, there was the expected hue & cry, but after a while, we went for counselling, & now she's doing me at every opportunity (mostly to make sure I have nothing left to eat out with, I think), but not only that, she's doing & letting me do stuff she would never have considered before she discovered my transgressions...

So really, you need to ask yourself: what do you really want? And what are you willing to do to get it?

[Bangster]

why everybody don't like fat people?

i also fat, sleep and snore like a pig

but i very good fucker, you know?

[SneakyBastard]

Originally Posted by Bangster

why everybody don't like fat people?

i also fat, sleep and snore like a pig

but i very good fucker, you know?

Bro, its in our genetic programming to be attracted to fit-looking specimens of the opposite sex. It's a survival instinct that helps ensure that the healthiest genes are mixed and passed on to the next generation.

Or you can look at it this way: people are superficial. That's just the way things are. Get over it.

Having said that, I myself am no Hercules specimen. I have some padding myself. I can still pull chicks every now & then...

[Fade]

Aiyo... U guys ah.. thanks but no thanks lah, so many offers in my PM!
So kind and helpful all of u!

I appreciate all ur comments here and is thinking very hard on some points.
Many thanks to bros out there who share their story with me too. My heart goes to you.

Guys, I know all men are visual creatures and love slim and pretty ladies. On one hand, i need to let u all know, in the first place when we first dated and met each other, i am already not the Model super slim type. I am chubby to begin with and love food alot. By the way, to answer some bros here, we are in our late 20s.

Yay.. I eat alot sometimes, but on certain times i can dun eat anything for the whole day. I am having this eating disorder and feeling real miserable all the time. Why did i marry a MONK.. haiz..

[mldue]

Originally Posted by Fade

Why did i marry a MONK.. haiz..

everyone has different sexual appetites. maybe you just need to find something that ticks for him. less fretting would definitely do you good though.

[jameskty2000]

Originally Posted by Fade

Aiyo... U guys ah.. thanks but no thanks lah, so many offers in my PM!
So kind and helpful all of u!

I appreciate all ur comments here and is thinking very hard on some points.
Many thanks to bros out there who share their story with me too. My heart goes to you.

Guys, I know all men are visual creatures and love slim and pretty ladies. On one hand, i need to let u all know, in the first place when we first dated and met each other, i am already not the Model super slim type. I am chubby to begin with and love food alot. By the way, to answer some bros here, we are in our late 20s.

Yay.. I eat alot sometimes, but on certain times i can dun eat anything for the whole day. I am having this eating disorder and feeling real miserable all the time. Why did i marry a MONK.. haiz..

i tell u ... this is not the reason... let me ah peh...tell u..

according 2 my experience that is only 2 possibility..
1. he doesn't love u from the start.. n force 2 marry u..
2. you have done a terrible wrong thing 2 him.. like cheated him..


cum on wat no turn on or off regarding breast feeding or c baby delivery will turn u off... all this is rubbish.. only d 2 possiblity..

please lah he is human lah u thought god huh...

ah peh like me cannot stand lau.. also 1 2 bonk with my OC

[SneakyBastard]

Originally Posted by Fade

Guys, I know all men are visual creatures and love slim and pretty ladies. On one hand, i need to let u all know, in the first place when we first dated and met each other, i am already not the Model super slim type. I am chubby to begin with and love food alot. By the way, to answer some bros here, we are in our late 20s.

Yay.. I eat alot sometimes, but on certain times i can dun eat anything for the whole day. I am having this eating disorder and feeling real miserable all the time. Why did i marry a MONK.. haiz..

Sis Fade,

We men don't necessarily need you gals to be supermodel slim. Personally, I think such women look unhealthy.

Personally, I don't mind a bit of padding but the lady should not get carried away... There's a big difference between voluptuous and routand. Aim for voluptuous.

I always like ladies who are good eaters, but everything in moderation, my dear...

Oh, he's no monk. Monks don't surf porn. Trick is now, if you want him, you gotta make him feel like the caveman hunting his prey, his prey being you. A nice hunk of meat for dinner & ...... You gotta make him want your meat & hunt it... That is assuming you still want him.

In any case, good luck to you, hope all goes well for you.

Keep us updated on what happens ok?

[powerman61]

Please dun listen to BS from other bros and try n do dirty dancing wif yr fat body...it will turn him off further.

Your only choice is to get back in shape if you seriously wan him. I tell you if you wait too long, his heart will turn cold and he will definitely start eating outside once he got the chance. All the other advise are bullshit cos I am old man and I tell u how men will think. If yr body not nice, solly.... men will eat out.

Go save yr marriage and stop whining.

[SneakyBastard]

Originally Posted by powerman61

Please dun listen to BS from other bros and try n do dirty dancing wif yr fat body...it will turn him off further.

Ooh man, the picture in my head that conjures... Urgh I think I just lost my appetite...

Reminds me of the movie Norbert...

*puke*

Sis, no-one is asking you to do that. I did say go slim down. I just meant to say no need to be stick-thin, just healthy-looking is fine.

Good luck!

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Fade

Why did i marry a MONK.. haiz..

Well little girl, uncle monster here told my oc..."I did not married to stay celibate, if not I would have just join the monastery and be a monk"...

[hardcoremayhem]

Sorry to hear about your situation, Fade and especially since it has not improved over the past few months...

i realised that in all your posts, you didn't mention exactly how "big" you are as compared to before pregnancy

Also, when i talk to some of my married Male colleaguese, most of them tell me that the turn-off doesn't come from the weight that the wife puts on but the stretch marks on the belly. Are your stretch marks very bad?

On another note, some of my male colleagues say that sex with the wife, even after child birth, has gotten better because they are more used to one another and what each other likes and that they still do it at least once a week if the children are not disturbing them. Those who have sex regularly, at least 1-2 times a week (not sure if it is considered as frequent) say that although when they look at the stretch marks, which is a big turn-off visually, they just "tune it out" mentally and focus on other things. Afterall, the mind is the biggest factor is arousal for humans.

[Darrenlow]

If he dun even want to touch u , confirm something is very not in place !!

[Fade]

Yo Guys, I do hav a very ugly scar on my tummy due to C sect and during pregnancy, i had an operation for Cysts removal. My scar is deep red and its about 15cm long. I find it a turn off myself. I dun even dare look at it directly. Regarding stretched marks left from pregnancy, i am proud to say, i have none.

Days ago, i was discussing ith him on how many kids he wants. I was convinced he will say One is enough but to my surprised he says 2.. and i looked at him with unbelievable eyes. He think babies will drop from the sky without us doing anything??

[yang punk]

Go see a plastic surgeon about the scar...it may just save your marriage.

[Cheonging101]

Originally Posted by Fade

Days ago, i was discussing ith him on how many kids he wants. I was convinced he will say One is enough but to my surprised he says 2.. and i looked at him with unbelievable eyes. He think babies will drop from the sky without us doing anything??

Sis, did you ask him "With who"?