Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[bigbirdbird]

Naughty but true factsxxxxxxx
____________
We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
____________
Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
____________
Breaking news: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
____________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
__________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
__________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
__________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
__________
DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
__________
BALLS THEORY
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
__________
EXPLANATION
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
__________
VIAGRA
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
____________
BURNING LOVE
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake
____________

Just for Laughs... Enjoy 😂😂

[SengJoongki]

So many nice jokes here, laughing all the way.

[News938FM]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very true IRL, nice share bro

[DBSTeller]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Teacher asks her students to name medicines they know and state their uses.
Little Susan stands and says, "PANADOL"
Teacher: Used for?
Susan: I think headache
Teacher: Good
Musa: PIRITON
Teacher: used for?
Musa: Helps in sleeping..
Teacher: Excellent!!
Little Johnny (stands confidently): VIAGRA
Teacher (nearly falls off her chair, shocked): What for???
Johny: I think Diarrhea
Teacher: Who told you that?
Johnny: Everynight my mom tells Dad, "Take two VIAGRA Pills and maybe that little Shit will get harder tonight!
Teacher collapsed... 😬

Wahahahaa very good Little Johnny joke ROFL!!

[KTVbuddy]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Teacher asks her students to name medicines they know and state their uses.
Little Susan stands and says, "PANADOL"
Teacher: Used for?
Susan: I think headache
Teacher: Good
Musa: PIRITON
Teacher: used for?
Musa: Helps in sleeping..
Teacher: Excellent!!
Little Johnny (stands confidently): VIAGRA
Teacher (nearly falls off her chair, shocked): What for???
Johny: I think Diarrhea
Teacher: Who told you that?
Johnny: Everynight my mom tells Dad, "Take two VIAGRA Pills and maybe that little Shit will get harder tonight!
Teacher collapsed... 😬

hahaha, this is very funny. great share bro.

[meradio]

Please continue to contribute nice jokes. Thanks so much.

[wuhan]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Anyone in need to hire a secretary/PA? My friend wants to fire his secretary/PA. He cannot tahan anymore. This is the 6th keyboard she has damaged this month...

Too heavy boobs and nice.

[bigbirdbird]

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing,
her four-year-old son comes up And says, "Mummy, Mummy, Aunty
Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe, and she has no clothes on "

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband.. Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

' You rotten Bitch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked,
playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

[bigbirdbird]

[sinvulong]

Very good jokes here, tks bros for sharing.

[Chile1962]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.

She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting. 'What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..

The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing,
her four-year-old son comes up And says, "Mummy, Mummy, Aunty
Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe, and she has no clothes on "

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband.. Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.

' You rotten Bitch', she screams.

'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked,
playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

Very funny joke and nice

[SioKanLai]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Very nice share, thanks bro bigbirdbird

[Hurricane88]

Business joke
you will love it😜

Two White Men in New York were standing around and taking a break in their soon-to-be new store.

As yet, the store wasn't ready, and didn't even have the shelves set up.

One commented to the other,
"I bet any minute now some Indian guy is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old PARSI BAWA FROM INDIA walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked,
"Vat ya sellin' here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically,
"We're selling idiots."

*Without skipping a beat, the old PARSI BAWA answered,*

*"Must be doing well, only two left !!!*

😉😁😂🤣

No Panga with.. *PARSI BAWAS* 😀😀

[diputs1269]

Bump for more weekend laughters, cheers!

[KTVbuddy]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

love the joke, it's very funny.