Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[dyelook]

laughter bumps....

[unobtanium]

Excellent thread! Thank you for sharing so many nice jokes.

[coronapocalypse]

Keep more jokes coming.

[EmpressQ]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

So this is the reason ROFL

[6ay6]

Originally Posted by NatalieDie

You use handsaw or jigsaw?

Wahahahaa very funny one

[ah rat]

Originally Posted by dyelook

now i know why i masturbate more often during cb time...

Bro, get a wife then

[Hurricane88]

More pic jokes...

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by ah rat

Bro, get a wife then

saying is more easy than doing na, ah rat...

[Hurricane88]

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks what’s in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, of about 12 inches height, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart.

“Where on earth did you get that ???” asked the surprised bartender. The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: “Here. Rub it.”

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish – just one.”

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, “I want a million bucks !”

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow it. Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!

The bartender turns to the man and says, “You know, I think your genie’s a little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.”

The man replies, “Do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”

[Hurricane88]

😅 While cutting hair, the Barber asked the Minister :-
*"Sir, What is this Swiss Bank issue?”*

Minister shouted,
*“Are you cutting my hair or conducting an inquiry?”*

Barber said:
*Sorry Sir, I just asked.*

Next day, while cutting the hair, he asked the Top Minister:

*“Sir, what is this Black money issue?’’*

Minister shouted, *‘’Why did you ask me this question?’’*

Barber said:
*‘’Sorry Sir, I just simply asked you’’*

Next day, CBI interrogated the Barber,

CBI Officer -
*‘’Are you an agent of Pakistan?’’*

Barber: *No Sir.*

CBI: *Are you an agent of the opposition party?*

Barber: *No Sir.*

CBI: *Are you anti National?*

Barber: *For God's sake, No Sir. I am an innocent and simple Barbar.*

CBI : *Then, while cutting the hair, why did you ask these VIP's about Swiss Bank & Black money issues?*

Barber:
*Sir, I do not know why, but when I ask about Swiss Bank or Black money, their hairs stand up straight; & that helps me to cut hair easily. That’s why I keep asking.* 😀😂🤣

[Hurricane88]

Naughty but true factsxxxxxxx
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We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but we never realise that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes....!
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Having a cold drink on hot day with few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS....!
________________________________
Breaking news: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore! A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband...!!
________________________________
Arguing over a girls breast size is like choosing between Kingfisher, Fosters, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available....!!
____________________________
Why Did Newton Commit Suicide....?
Because He Saw A Complete Naked Girl, And Observed Something Going Up In His Pant, Against His Own Laws Of Gravity....!!
____________________________
Why Are Vegetarian Women Silent During Sex....?
They Are In State Of Shock That A Piece Of Meat Can Give So Much Pleasure.....!!
____________________________
Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman's body?
A: Because, milk should be kept away from the pussy
____________________________
*DEFINITION OF BLOWJOB*
A blowjob is the only job in the world that can't be included in your resume despite years of experience and a number of references!
____________________________
*BALLS THEORY*
If you have two balls between your legs it means u r man.
If you have four, it does not mean that u r superman.
U must've guessed by now that someone's taking your ass
____________________________
*EXPLANATION*
Bio teacher: Girls, the size of a penis should be 2.5 inches for successful penetration.
Girl: Ma'am, how about 9 inches?
Teacher: I was talking of necessity not luxury.
____________________________
*VIAGRA*
All medicines have Side effects, only VIAGRA has Front effect.
________________________________
*BURNING LOVE*
Q: What is the definition of "burning love"?
A: It's when at night you reach out for the Vaseline gel and pick up Vicks by mistake
________________________________

Just for Laughs... Enjoy 😂😂

[CoMan]

Nice thread.. enjoy the sharing and many made me laughed or smiled!
Keep it up. Thanks.

[dyelook]

laughter bumps....

[Hurricane88]

TGIF jokes...

[BK4ever]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

this is true.