Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[SBMEDSUP]

Support nice jokes.

[candeo_88]

Hahahahaha.....

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block?
I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash..
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'

You'll love this !!!!!!!!! .

The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.' 😂😂😂😂

[bluebrownface]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

You may like the joke:

Alzheimer's test to be taken regularly by all Men above 50.
Test yourself to see if you got Alzheimer’s Disease.

If you are over 50 years,
you SHOULD take this
Alzheimer's Test.

How fast can you guess these words correctly and fill-in the blanks ?

*1. _ _NDOM*

*2. F_ _K*

*3. P_N_S*

*4. PU_S_*

*5. S_X*

*6. BOO_S*

Shit! I got all wrong!!

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by bluebrownface

Shit! I got all wrong!!

Me 2 all wrong.

[stauntono]

Originally Posted by bluebrownface

Shit! I got all wrong!!

Originally Posted by SBMEDSUP

Me 2 all wrong.

Me too. We are normal guys hehe

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by stauntono

Me too. We are normal guys hehe

bump ups...

[ah rat]

__________________

[Masterl23]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Really like this, nice share bro.

[Orange22]

Originally Posted by Masterl23

Really like this, nice share bro.

Pity him hahaha

[Hurricane88]

Arrested for laughing.
This is from an actual trial in the UK.
A young woman who was several months pregnant was sitting in a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition.
She changed her seat & he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on seeing him laughing more.
She filed a court case on him. In the court the man's defense was:-
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement, which read "Coming Soon - The unknown boon".
I was even more amused when she then sat under a shaving advertisement, which read:- "William's stick did the trick".
Then I could not control myself any longer, when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which read: "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident".
The case was dismissed.
The judge fell off his chair laughing.🤣🤣🤣

[Hurricane88]

*Do you have a vagina?*

A woman home alone, answers a knock on the door to a man who just stood there and asked, "Do you have a vagina?"
She slams the door in disgust and tells her husband that night when he got home from work.
The next morning she answers a knock on the door. Its the same man and he asks the same question. "Do you have a vagina?"
Once again she slams the door.
She immediately gets on the phone and rings her husband at work.
He tells her he will take the day off tomorrow just in case the man shows up a third time.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both make for the door.
The husband whispers to his wife, "Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to tell him yes to his question, because I want to a see where he's going with this."
She nods, a yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there. He asks, "Do you have a vagina?"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"

🤣🤣🤣

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[violetstone]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Do you have a vagina?*

A woman home alone, answers a knock on the door to a man who just stood there and asked, "Do you have a vagina?"
She slams the door in disgust and tells her husband that night when he got home from work.
The next morning she answers a knock on the door. Its the same man and he asks the same question. "Do you have a vagina?"
Once again she slams the door.
She immediately gets on the phone and rings her husband at work.
He tells her he will take the day off tomorrow just in case the man shows up a third time.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both make for the door.
The husband whispers to his wife, "Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to tell him yes to his question, because I want to a see where he's going with this."
She nods, a yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there. He asks, "Do you have a vagina?"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"

🤣🤣🤣

Hahaha this is damn funny!

[ah rat]

___________________

[Sixty6]

Originally Posted by ah rat

___________________

That's why never ever trust the government