Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 940

Hurricane88 · #**14086** 12-04-2023, 04:50 AM

Two gays were out for a drive in their new car. They stopped at a red light and were hit by another car.

"Get that idiot's details, Bruce", the gay driving the car tells his partner.

Bruce goes to the driver of the other car, a tough, rough-looking red-neck.
"I'd like your name and address" Bruce says politely, "We need to put this through the insurance"

The brute looks at Bruce disdainfully.... "F@#k you", he says, "S@#k my dick".

Bruce runs back to his car and says excitedly:

"Adrian............I think he wants to settle out of court !!!"

Putin · #**14087** 16-04-2023, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ah rat

___________________

Very nice

dyelook · #**14088** 16-04-2023, 07:36 PM

laughter bumps...

dyelook · #**14089** 22-04-2023, 07:13 PM

laughter bumps...

bananaleave · #**14090** 23-04-2023, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Putin

Very nice

Indeed, a complete set!

Hurricane88 · #**14091** 26-04-2023, 08:02 AM

dyelook · #**14092** 28-04-2023, 08:07 PM

A fast and a good learner
———-———-————-
A lady went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra care of her cat.

The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually!
Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; Tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then, on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night.

You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She has just got on to the roof.

ChrisSutton · #**14093** 29-04-2023, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyelook

A fast and a good learner
———-———-————-
A lady went on vacation, leaving her husband behind. Before she left, she told him to take extra care of her cat.

The next day she called her husband and asked if the cat was all right.

Her husband said: The cat just died.

She burst into tears and said: How could you be so blunt? Why couldn't you have broken the news gradually!
Today, you could have said that it was playing on the roof; Tomorrow, you could have said that it fell off and had broken its leg; then, on the third day, you could have said that the poor thing had passed away in the night.

You could have been more sensitive about the whole thing. By the way, how is my mom?

Husband: She has just got on to the roof.

Thanks for nice joke.

Hurricane88 · #**14094** 29-04-2023, 11:25 AM

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."

SON: "Oh! (With his head down).

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.

DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".

DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.

SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I want to play with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

SirLance · #**14095** 30-04-2023, 05:25 AM

@Hurricane88 very nice joke and thank you.

KiatWee · #**14096** 03-05-2023, 03:09 PM

support his thread

Fat Fatt · #**14097** 07-05-2023, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?"

DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?"

SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"

SON: "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"

DAD: "If you must know, I make $100 an hour."

SON: "Oh! (With his head down).

SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow $50?"
The father was furious.

DAD: "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:

Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $ 50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

DAD: "Are you asleep, son?"

SON: "No daddy, I'm awake".

DAD: "I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $50 you asked for."

The little boy sat straight up, smiling.

SON: "Oh, thank you daddy!"

Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

DAD: "Why do you want more money if you already have some?"

SON: "Because I didn't have enough, but now I do.

"Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I want to play with you."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness. It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

This one is not really a joke but a great reminder to all parents. Great share thanks bro

Hurricane88 · #**14098** 07-05-2023, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Fatt

This one is not really a joke but a great reminder to all parents. Great share thanks bro

The joke is the son need to pay the father to share time...

Fat Fatt · #**14099** 07-05-2023, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The joke is the son need to pay the father to share time...

Haha thanks for the sharing bro

Something like this video too. To all readers it’s not a joke video but heart wrenching nice to watch

https://fb.watch/kmNxUxv7eT/?mibextid=v7YzmG

dyelook · #**14100** 12-05-2023, 12:05 AM

laughter bumps....