Coping with emotionally investing in a WL relationship

[justime]

This thread is dedicated to all brothers who are in the throes of pain while in a relationship with a WL. I know its hard and painful (essentially no different from any 'normal' relationship as far as the emotional content is concerned). Friends will deride you - throwing the usual 'commonsense' / you deserve it pitch. You also cannot find empathy (and sympathy) because of the 'unique' nature of the relationship.

This thread will hopefully not touch only in breakup part of the relationship but in the many multi dimensional aspect of emotionally investing with a WL.

To be candid, I am undergoing the healing process due to a breakup presently. The various issues of investing in a relationship with a WL is therefore still fresh in my mind.

Also this is my third relationship with a WL (and it shall probably not be my last). As I am myself is undergoing a cathartic process of healing presently, I thought it expedient if brothers equally suffering can get together and form a 'support' group.

There shall be no judgement passed on the 'folly' of falling in love with WL in the first place. We will share about the various issues and how they impact you. There will be empathy and sharing of experiences (of how we are coping or have coped). Hopefully, by doing so, your healing journey will be made less arduous.

As with friends, I do expect a fair amount of 'kick's' in the proverbial backside too. People will definitely try to drum 'commonsense' into you.

Fellow 'sufferers', you will get none of that from me - as I too am in the same predicament. I have gone through a timultuous relationship before (and going through the pain again currently).

Just a little background:

I'm in my late 30's running a business that I can call my own. I was keeping a 'mistress' who works at a popular niteclub. After a passionate (and expensive) affair of only 6 months, we are calling it quits.

Some 'issues' where I will touch on:

a) Money, money and more money
b) Reality and romantic ideal
c) Question of 'faithfulness/loyalty'.
d) Time requirements.
e) The defination of 'friends' and who you/WL associate with.
f) Jealousy (yours and the WL)
g) Passion and Sex. Is it commoditised?
h) Validation of your own desirability.
i) Long term commitment.

I will elaborate a little more and more about this affair and the above points soon.

Brothers and fellow sufferers, I wish you well.

[dirtyhairy]

Yo Bro J,
Please go on and share your story...
Me thinks me getting into such a situatrion meself maybe
now that a gorgeous divorcee has flung herself at me
beautiful and sensational in looks, brains and body
I found myself being attracted to her most profoundly
and in bed we have both discovered we are so compatible and so horny
and she now says she wanna make it permanently
and even wanna have me baby as no delivery from me OC
altho we have both declared our love for each other unabashedly
I'm unsure bcos how could such a gem fall for me
a laobaby aka DirtyHairy who's 60 going 70?
BTway, as she's into biz herself, there's no involvement of money
just in case if bros/sis all wondering if she's a golddigger lady
please share your views as DirtyHairy's mind in a daze now really...

[Castrol]

Originally Posted by justime

a) Money, money and more money

play WL, FL, KTVL or whatever L with $ is ok, as long as you can afford it.

i know a guy who has his own business (metal fabrication) and although considered small business with a workshop and 10 over staff, many of his family members including his wife and relatives were working for him. he folded his business due to relationship$ with niteclub prc working ladies, and had to run overseas due to heavy debts.

as long as you can afford it.

[JWNY]

Sometimes could be the "White Knight" syndrome...how many times are we guilty of that...

JWNY

[Rof|maoxz]

Originally Posted by justime

I will elaborate a little more and more about this affair and the above points soon.

Brothers and fellow sufferers, I wish you well.

Are you littleme?

[no_faith]

dun understand why when sum1 step into such scene, got the tendency to look for love.

furthermore, third relationship liao? dunno they got love u in the first plc bo?
form 'support' group? loan each other money to sian the WL/FL and kana conned?

*see my siggy*

[Peggie83]

Originally Posted by Castrol

play WL, FL, KTVL or whatever L with $ is ok, as long as you can afford it.

i know a guy who has his own business (metal fabrication) and although considered small business with a workshop and 10 over staff, many of his family members including his wife and relatives were working for him. he folded his business due to relationship$ with niteclub prc working ladies, and had to run overseas due to heavy debts.

as long as you can afford it.

Recently I also learn something about all KTV gals.
That is when you cannot meet their demand of cash they will end the relationship with you.

Just my opinion most of the KTV gals are for money

[Midnightiger]

Originally Posted by justime

This thread is dedicated to all brothers who are in the throes of pain while in a relationship with a WL. I know its hard and painful (essentially no different from any 'normal' relationship as far as the emotional content is concerned). Friends will deride you - throwing the usual 'commonsense' / you deserve it pitch. You also cannot find empathy (and sympathy) because of the 'unique' nature of the relationship.

I will elaborate a little more and more about this affair and the above points soon.

Brothers and fellow sufferers, I wish you well.

I look forward to your elaborations although I cannot empathise with you as I am not in your situation. I look forward as I think it will make interesting reading.

By the way, your last sentence shows that you felt that anyone involved in a relationship with a WL is suffering. Why's that?

[Midnightiger]

Originally Posted by dirtyhairy

Yo Bro J,
Please go on and share your story...
Me thinks me getting into such a situatrion meself maybe
now that a gorgeous divorcee has flung herself at me

BTway, as she's into biz herself, there's no involvement of money
just in case if bros/sis all wondering if she's a golddigger lady
please share your views as DirtyHairy's mind in a daze now really...

Ha Ha Ha!

Bro, I think you are in the wrong channel since you said your divorcee is in business, unless her business is the flesh trade.

The thread here is on WLs.

[Midnightiger]

Originally Posted by Peggie83

Recently I also learn something about all KTV gals.
That is when you cannot meet their demand of cash they will end the relationship with you.

Just my opinion most of the KTV gals are for money

Bro Peggie,

I hope you have not been going to KTV for a very long time. Else you would have spent a lot of money on KTVs only to discover RECENTLY what most people who patronised KTVs already knew all along.

OF course KTV ladies are interested in their cutomers' money the same as we customers are interested in getting a piece of the "action", preferably solely to ourselves. You wouldn't be paying for a lady which you feel is ugly or not good enough for you right?

What the ladies will tell us is "No money, no honey" and what we tell them is "No honey, no money".

My 2 cents worth.

[Peggie83]

Originally Posted by Midnightiger

Bro Peggie,

I hope you have not been going to KTV for a very long time. Else you would have spent a lot of money on KTVs only to discover RECENTLY what most people who patronised KTVs already knew all along.

OF course KTV ladies are interested in their cutomers' money the same as we customers are interested in getting a piece of the "action", preferably solely to ourselves. You wouldn't be paying for a lady which you feel is ugly or not good enough for you right?

What the ladies will tell us is "No money, no honey" and what we tell them is "No honey, no money".

My 2 cents worth.

I am too naive in the past now that I had grown up

[Rof|maoxz]

Originally Posted by Midnightiger

By the way, your last sentence shows that you felt that anyone involved in a relationship with a WL is suffering. Why's that?

More like a time-consuming relationship, as alot of matters are taken into consideration. Tiny little things can be blown out of proportions. Boyfrds of FLs must be very cautious, tactful and extra-sensitive as not to be an insensitive one. You must possess a great magnitude of understanding and toleration, and keep your jealous scale to the minimum. Furthermore you must be financially stable, and not forgetting to have the ability to stomach the stares, glares and negatives from all sides.

And lastly, you must be blessed with good luck, especially when you are applying all relevant and endless applications for her to stay with you.

Is it stress har?

[Peggie83]

Originally Posted by Midnightiger

Bro Peggie,

I hope you have not been going to KTV for a very long time. Else you would have spent a lot of money on KTVs only to discover RECENTLY what most people who patronised KTVs already knew all along.

OF course KTV ladies are interested in their cutomers' money the same as we customers are interested in getting a piece of the "action", preferably solely to ourselves. You wouldn't be paying for a lady which you feel is ugly or not good enough for you right?

What the ladies will tell us is "No money, no honey" and what we tell them is "No honey, no money".

My 2 cents worth.

I still go KTVs nowaday but not throwing money foolishly of course all along I knew WLs are after our money but again I fall into KC trap of receiving cheap & free bonks and deceive into believing long term relationship of paying little receive more

Bro Tiger, there are also exception cases that I ever witness relationship with WLs with little money involvement and there are successful stories too. But few lah

[no_faith]

such success love relationship is rare.
juz like playing play B/S, how often it will open 'bao zi'

imho, those who harbour such fantasy, go ahead and pursue the relationship bah.

bu jian kuan cai, bu diao lei

[lackadaizical]

Originally Posted by Castrol

play WL, FL, KTVL or whatever L with $ is ok, as long as you can afford it.

i know a guy who has his own business (metal fabrication) and although considered small business with a workshop and 10 over staff, many of his family members including his wife and relatives were working for him. he folded his business due to relationship$ with niteclub prc working ladies, and had to run overseas due to heavy debts.

as long as you can afford it.

wah...tt's v jialat leh....not one but more thn tt lor...running ovrseas some more....haiz....mayb keep one will do?