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#1696
14-02-2012, 07:18 PM
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The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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Thanks for your support/pts. Already Upz U back.  Cheers.
__________________
Every experience is unique (different). Always the chemistry between two people. Retiring: +21 x 2 pts given daily  Annabel Chong: 251 men in 10 hrshttp://www.cnn.com/SHOWBIZ/Movies/9902/10/annabel.chong/ 
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#1697
14-02-2012, 07:31 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
honestly, after being through countless of heartbreak, after so many times of he is the one, i give up on finding mr right. I know somehow I will need to settle down, but one thing I do know is that I will never be able to love my future bf or husband the way I love my ex.
from a female POV, female would rather find someone who loves them more and care for them more than they care for them. someone who is able to give them that sense of security rather than heartaches after heartaches. stability is what all women asked for in their family, not necessary be the one they love most.
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#1698
14-02-2012, 10:05 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
Once a guy older than me asked me "why are you still single?". I told him probably because I haven't met the right gal.
He told me, a wife is a wife as long she loves you and can take care of you, that's good enough. Besides your wife, you can have others, haha...
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#1699
14-02-2012, 10:56 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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__________________
 When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute
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#1700
14-02-2012, 11:16 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
Actually, this doesn't not only applies on guys. Both sexes have doubts. Im feeling the same. I dun now what is love thats is holding me on or resposible. He dotes me, bring me for holiday, nice but sometimes got bad temper but never hits me. There was once when ask me If i still loves him.. I hesitate on my answer.
I never have fling or go stray. But i still feel guilty. I know i married the good guy but i dunno if i married the right guy. 
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#1701
15-02-2012, 03:21 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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__________________
9pts everyday to give!!! Bros that up me and I have yet to return the favour...pls pm me Bros that have up me..pls kindly do a post...i cannot return your kindness without a recent post..pls pm me so that I can upz u all back...thank you.
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#1702
18-02-2012, 08:28 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
Quote:
__________________
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute
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#1703
19-02-2012, 09:08 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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__________________
time to check-in
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#1704
19-02-2012, 09:17 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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#1705
19-02-2012, 10:55 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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Bearking, you've hitted bulls eye with the above post. I feel the same way for the past 2-3 mths. I am sure my hubby is a good guy, but something is just lacking. I've been thinking about our relationship and I think I screwed up by settling for less.
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#1706
20-02-2012, 12:37 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
I was reading a book on the male and female psyche on the long flight back last night and to answer this question, i think its got a lot to do with expectations.
In life, i think all men/women desire only the best. Of course, to men and women, the best differs. Men probably the hottest bombshell on legs and women, the most sensitive charmer with a good money-churning career and being at her beck and call 24/7. I say to the above, "Get Real". This is the real world. It is survival of the fittest. In life, we got to make do, make sacrifices. It may not be the perfect one, but it is most ideal. Often, we seek to find the best, but when we could have settled for better. And in the end, you end up with nothing. In your case, while i don't profess to be a love expert or a psychologist by any stretch of the imagination, i think you should be contented. Doubt exists only if and when you choose to focus on the negatives. It is not a "doubt" if you say it is not. It can be an "affirmation" if you think of it in a similar manner. I think we all have to understand that to make love work, is not just a clash of raging hormones, or serendipity. But through good ol' fashioned hard work - communication, to be able to give/take, to be able to swallow one's ego at times for the sake of harmony, and mutual responsibility to see the relationship through the good and hard times. One also needs to learn to be appreciative that nothing in the world comes free. Regardless if it's a male or female, all of us wants to be cherished, to be appreciated for the little things that matter. It is not a shameful thing to show appreciation and to be thankful of the less obvious but no less significant aspects of life - e.g. to wake up to freshly brewed coffee and the papers, to see each other before turning in every night etc. While not trying to act all saintly and all, i always feel that when we learn to let go of these inhibitions and constant fear that we have not attained "perfection", we then truly begin to see that perfection is just an excuse we coin to placate ourselves that we deserve better, or someone/something better is out there. Truth is, it rarely is. I wish you the very best in your relationship. Quote:
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#1707
25-02-2012, 01:49 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
TS has loved more than 1 too many. So dilemma, but thankfully hasn't thrown gauntlet yet.
__________________
You only live ONCE, pass this way but ONCE..
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#1708
25-02-2012, 11:04 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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 Truly, if you find right one, also need to maintain one. If not, the right one can also turn into wrong one. People change and you can't do much about it. But, the decision to commit and make things work still ultimately lie in both parties' hands. So, its not just the guy, but the guy and gal's combined efforts. You can be the best striker, but if the goal keeper don't cooperate or agree with you... its still quite pointless to be together. Just my view.
__________________
One of man kind's greatest fear is not war. Its not disease.... Its menopause which women suffer from. Cos when menopause happens, it means women pause, but Men No Pause and men continue suffer.
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#1709
26-02-2012, 02:03 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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#1710
26-02-2012, 03:05 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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I went tru the worst chapter of my life when she got pregnant. She didnt wanna work and to substian the family i got into debts. I was overwhelm with happiness when i saw the birth of my bb boy... I love my boy. Soon when she started working , all the problem surface. She was caught dating with other guys not only once but twice. She forbid me from goin out and was always trying to track me down; due to i was caught once going to massage parlour. The different perspective of man and woman was a real headache. And given the society pressure and the monetary commiment stress us out. I earn a relatively good income. For her i sold my rolex and during the 1st year of our marriage to buy her LV and Prada Bag. I understand that she can be very bored @ home during her prenancy period i brought her oversea 3 times. I went broke for 3 times. When the arrival of our precious bb boy , my perspective changed. I wanted to be a good dad and i had my goals and target. I wanted to save up for our renovation as i strongly believes that my boy deserve a good enviroment and a fair competition ... IE , when we need to funds his education , we must have the cash ready. I gave up drinking , closed down my biz. I took up 3 jobs during the peak period. But i just could not reach my target. I cut down on my exepenses and explain to my spouse. I gave my utmost to my family but she was nv there for me during my worst period and even now i have to take care of her expenses despite she is working. I bought her so much stuffs during this two yrs and even pay for her holiday trips with shopping allowanace, i paid of her company trips with shopping allowanace also. I too put in alot of effort for my bb. For the 1st yr that i am not doing very well i gave my bb angpow of 1888. This year i gave my bb gold bangle and chain worth 5100 and angpow of 500. I work during CNY , Christmas , NY and believe me i worth almost 365 days a year ... with a break of less than 20days. Due to the nature of my job i sometimes depreive of my slp for 2-3 days. She knew i was going tru hell and on another hand she was enjoying her life to the fullest My Wife is 24 this yr and i knw she havent had enuff fun. Recently i caught her dating with another guy again ... i went berask and wallop her very badly. She made a police report but did not file charges against me. She claim she still loves me. The controversy lies with lack of trust in her. I only had negative thoughts of her and i can flare up over the smallest tings. Last 2 weeks , i had fever of 38.5degree. Nevertheless , i still report to work because i had to earn more money. Time is burning profusely , i might be getting my hse next year and i am far from my target. I didnt fetch her home tat 2 days when i was sick, she jump up and confront me that i dun have heart for her. She knew i was sick. I keep tinking to myself why me and my bb deserve such a gal. She doesnt have enuff to substain herself , she got into debts and i have to clear her debts for her regularly.She still ask gifts from me for all occasion and she nv gave anyting in return. Last month i bought her a longchamp bag and expalain to her that i will not be pampering her with gifts anymore till we sort out the renovation fees. She agreeded. Then on valetine days she ask me for gift again. I tot tru all the shits that she threw to me and i profess to her that i had enuff of her . Why do i have to keep buying u tings and u nv reprociate and i also dun wan anyting from her. I gave her back the LV wallet she gave me 2yrs back and i told her i had enuff of the 2 yrs of hell. I WANTED MY LIFE BACK. Yesterday, she went drinking again. As i was trying to clinch a deal with a customer ( I wanted to go into biz again ) i bought my client to niteclub with her consent and i told her i am purely into biz. I did tot of betrying her many times but the presence of my boy always deter me from doing anytin foolish. I called her @ midnite that i will be fetching her home and i went to the destonation to pick her up. She went missing and i called her upteem times she nv picked up. I went to 3 pubs to look for her to no avail. Finally her mum pick up and told me she is back home. When i got home she was actaully toking to her guy frend that she is safe and sound back home. Why she nv tot of calling me instead. My blood was boiling and i confront her. I called her cheap and i called her a slut. I was about to hit her but i refrain my self. I told her everyting is over. I packed up my stuff and went back to my mum;s place. I weeped. I love her but i hate her too. She nv place the family as the priority. We nv had a common goal which is the home the family. I was helpless i knew she will nv changed. The same mistake is reoccuring again and again. This morning she text me she is sorry and she will quit drinking. She begged me not to rish into divorce but i rejected. I cant live with a time bomb. But i knw my decision will affect greatly on my kids and we have to pay penalty for the bto. The worst is i have to pay alimony which might be going into her hand and not to my boy. I wanted my boy to be in a decent family but i knew i hate her more than i love her. But there is no reason to hold on to the family because of her. We went into relationship because of love. She gave me great memories. I was proud of her as my wife as she is really very charming and beautiful. But she was nv there for me when i was down. She continue to spur. She nv perform as a wife as she is not loyal to me. Men are visual aminal,we love things that is beautiful. But woman wants love and to be pamper without logical anayalsis. We will be there when u are in needs and not when u create havoc. Love is not sensible without comminment and sacifices. A couple cannt last without common understanding and goals. She wants her fun but i nd a home. This can nv reconcile beacuse i am not from a rich family. I cant always tink of enjoyment , i have to be logical. Tangible and Intangible stuff we have to differentiate. I now feel bread over love. I dun wan to be stranded alone in this battle. The worst enemy is her. Diffenences in perspective is the only problem in my marriage. I urge all brothers not to be mermedize by beauty instead look for someone you can confine when u have difficulties. I personally do not need solution but i need someone to listen to my problem. Always go for woman who are more sensible. If a woman loves you , you wont have to spend a single penny she will be contented. If you choose to go for tantalizing woman, beauty nv lasts. We might not love our spouse forever but we will definetly go back to the one who stay by you tru the trials and tribulation. Only time can test the depth of your love.
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