Sex Life after Marriage

[nin-nao-hiah]

Originally Posted by bossy_miaomiao

oh dear, a married couple stay under one roof n same bed yet having different dream n love.. how to maintance and carry on like this family? and how long and how far can go further...??

Actually can be quite long & quite far.
I've been married for almost 8 years & been sleeping in separate bedrooms from my wife for a total of about 4 years - give or take a few months.
All of our conversation topics, from civilised conversations to raised voices to all-out shouting matches when we become the neighbourhood side-show feature, revolve around our two children & around our respective child-care / parenting / household-chore roles, duties & responsibilities.
I tried putting in effort into the marriage - the relationship between my wife & I - suggested going out on dates, dinners, even counselling, but all to no avail. One reason is because money is tight; (though there also are couples who face tight money issues & yet have wonderful marriages).
I'm still married though not in the same bed, not under the same roof, not even in the same country because in order to put food on the table I have to earn a salary outside the country.
This is how long, how far, how sad & how lonely a family can be maintained.

[Enzo]

Fade,

i suggest that you read this book "Hold me tight" by Sue Johnson. I hope it will help in some way for you to emotionally connect back with your husband and hopefully lead you back to intimacy with your husband again.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Umida

Who is the unlucky woman? Me lah.

Sis have you guys ever done it before marriage? That is a dramatic turn for your hub if considering from day one till now he never ml to you. For me there are only two kind of man that don't need sex from their other half, one is either he is already full from outside or two he is gay. And marriage is just a way for him to "jiao dai" to his family and cover his homosexuality.

[naughtyben22]

Sis Fade,

As I'm reading this thread, I cried cos' it makes me ponder on my own marriage... Fyi, I'm only into my 2nd year of marriage but to summarise it, it's almost a sexless marriage...y?

Firstly, my wife's short-temper is really a turn off... I have problems communicating with her and can't even exchange a few jokes with her......she'll end up misinterpreting my message and there she goes, giving me the super black face... most of the time she's petty and ultra-sensitive, very hard to please her.... when I see her black face, you can forget about having sex even if she stands infront of me naked!

Secondly, she doesn't bother to take care of her image... she hardly does even the slightest makeup and sometimes doesn't give a damn on her dressing.. like that how to turn me on? And she doesn't seem to watch her diet and loves to eat a lot, and especially the sinful cheese! So many times ppl around her feedback saying she had put on weight and she simply just laughs it off and next min nothing goes in her head. Well, ended up I look at other women most of the time and when she caught me doing that, volcano erupted!!

Sadly, she doesn't realise all these despite quarelling many times...she never learnt... of cos, not that I'm a saint... In fact, I usually said sorry to her first after a quarrel.... dun like to go to bed with bad blood against one another...

I think both my wife and myself also need to go marriage counselling...my advice is: go seek help, early...

[tomyamramee]

Originally Posted by naughtyben22

Sis Fade,

As I'm reading this thread, I cried cos' it makes me ponder on my own marriage... Fyi, I'm only into my 2nd year of marriage but to summarise it, it's almost a sexless marriage...y?

Firstly, my wife's short-temper is really a turn off... I have problems communicating with her and can't even exchange a few jokes with her......she'll end up misinterpreting my message and there she goes, giving me the super black face... most of the time she's petty and ultra-sensitive, very hard to please her.... when I see her black face, you can forget about having sex even if she stands infront of me naked!

Secondly, she doesn't bother to take care of her image... she hardly does even the slightest makeup and sometimes doesn't give a damn on her dressing.. like that how to turn me on? And she doesn't seem to watch her diet and loves to eat a lot, and especially the sinful cheese! So many times ppl around her feedback saying she had put on weight and she simply just laughs it off and next min nothing goes in her head. Well, ended up I look at other women most of the time and when she caught me doing that, volcano erupted!!

Sadly, she doesn't realise all these despite quarelling many times...she never learnt... of cos, not that I'm a saint... In fact, I usually said sorry to her first after a quarrel.... dun like to go to bed with bad blood against one another...

I think both my wife and myself also need to go marriage counselling...my advice is: go seek help, early...

y are u blaming her?

[F400]

Bros and sistas,
Feel very sad to hear bout not ml.
After our marriage my wife toned down our sexual escapade but we still ml.
I learned to understand and to respect her further.no more wild sex in public and gone are the days of CIM. But we still ml at least once a week. Even now she's expecting, we still ml and sometimes after heated arguments we had make up sex. I rather say we make love rather than fucking.
But as a man it's almost impossible not to let go for more than two months or a year.
I knew a lot of mh friends who go elsewhere to release steam.so my two cents worth, I think your partner may be going elsewhere to let off steam.
I'm not a saint, I've ever tried fl before but it never be more emotionally fulfilling than ml with your love ones.
Just my opinion. So far, for the last 2 yrs if I DIY I need porn to fulfill my desire and my wife hates it to find me reverting to porn. I stay open to her and tell her I'm cheating with porn and not someone else.so for the past years I know she trying hard for us to initiate with each other. And I confess that I cheat only and strictly with porn only.

[benglian]

Bros,

Try this :g$$$$$l/JPmsH

They can be used quickly and easily to increase passion and intimacy.

[Umida]

Hi bro Frank,

Yes we did. We were pretty active in ml for the 1st month in our relationship ( bf/gf time )
After he told me he is jobless, we quarelled alot as i never met a 30+ yr old man jobless in my life! Let alone need me financially. But love blinded me and i accepted all his flaws.
Soon no more ml after that. I thot he is under big pressure and distress. So i told myself to give him some time to heal... until i gave up hope. He lied and i know it. Porns in his pc, working whole day and nites, never see or caught him release himself at home, what do you think? Haiz, sad. What can i do? Counselling? Its too late. This marriage shouldnt happened in the 1st place. I've been fooled. Its cool. I'm thru with it.

[bossy_miaomiao]

Unable to give any advise..... speakless....

.... It's very complicated, and I had decided to let it go years back....

[Jabadabadoo]

Originally Posted by bossy_miaomiao

Unable to give any advise..... speakless....

.... It's very complicated, and I had decided to let it go years back....

I remember when was in school overseas and the angmo teacher asked the language class whether there can be love without sex, to which the Japanese students unanimously said NO...!

Why do girls think that relationship without sex is unbearable? Maybe it boils down to the fact that if he is not ml to you then he must be ml to someone else - That's unbearable, I agree.

But if he is just jerking off whenever he needs to, does that hurt the relationship? If he still gives u a shoulder to lie on at night, is that enough love, or is sex really necessary?

[Ranchu Ng]

Brothers, my situation just as bad, wife got totally no interest after gave birth to my daughter...my daughter is 8 years old already...

[DustD]

Weird.. 7 years of fucking and we're still hot on it ..
Have you talked to your husband about it?
Sit him down have a SERIOUS conversation?

[naughtyben22]

Originally Posted by tomyamramee

y are u blaming her?

I'm not blaming her...I've said that I'm not a saint either, I know I'm at fault sometimes... just sharing here on my account...

[starystarynite]

looks like many of us got the problem...may be 8/10??

either wife got nointerest or hubby...

for my case, wife after second son,lose interest...no mood and also tired to do....just not in the right frame of mind to talkabout romance and intimacy with so many things to do at home...

and i have other means t release, so i am not to stress up on that

but relationship does suffer because of that...we can't live without sex in a marriage...if it happens, we have to find solutions to salvage it...

[naturegreen]

Originally Posted by starystarynite

looks like many of us got the problem...may be 8/10??

either wife got nointerest or hubby...

I think it's not no interest in sex. It's more likely the loss of passion.