Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[milfmilf]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

same.. many close friends married good vb. Also saw one married a lazy and materialistic vb (my bx niece).

Sometimes I wonder how her husband can afford that with his salary as a civil servant.

Civil servant pay we are looking at how much?

[Kim91]

Wow just afew weeks no log in...so much to read.. keep it going gents!

[curious76]

http://itvmovie.eu/country/vietnam-9/

watch vietnam movie translated to understand their culture more.

[damong777]

Originally Posted by milfmilf

Civil servant pay we are looking at how much?

depending on scale...super scale is quite high like what bro singviet more than 10k easily.

[damong777]

Just ytd i found that my ban gai is driving a motor without a license...walao.

putting my life at risk...lol

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by damong777

Just ytd i found that my ban gai is driving a motor without a license...walao.

Its so common to ride without license

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by damong777

Just ytd i found that my ban gai is driving a motor without a license...walao.

putting my life at risk...lol

Yes. its so common. I used to ride without license when i was staying in HCM.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by damong777

Just ytd i found that my ban gai is driving a motor without a license...walao.

putting my life at risk...lol

Just be prepared to pay when involved in accident...both ways if no valid licence...

I refused ride if vb dun ride well...I rather call my xe om...

[damong777]

[QUOTE=SH300;12936743]

Originally Posted by damong777

Just ytd i found that my ban gai is driving a motor without a license...walao.

I think it's very common for them to ride without license. I myself have encounter before even with license they will give u all sought of reason to ask u for coffee money..

coffee money is damm common.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

I refused ride if vb dun ride well...

Me too... Vb don't ride well, cnannot cum so dun ride

[Kim91]

Nice article....

http://goslapdish.com/2015/04/saving-face-in-vietnam/

SLAPdish
Saving face in Vietnam

23rd April 2015 SLAPlife SLAPlife


Saving face in Vietnam

One of the most difficult problems that most foreigners face when coming to Vietnam is how Vietnamese deal with problems. It’s a big part of the culture shock that people experience when they come to Vietnam. Anyone who has lived in Vietnam for even a short time will no doubt have come up against this problem and will have some story to tell.

In most western countries there is a certain way in which people deal with problems. In the West when there’s a problem we tend to find out what the problem is, then search for solutions, and finally find the best solution and use it to fix the problem. Or at least that’s the idea; even we don’t always succeed. But in Vietnam and much of the rest of Asia this is not the case, instead if there’s a problem the typical response is to not say anything, but to instead walk away and pretend it never happened. There are many cultural and social reasons for why we tackle problems the way that we do and I’m sure that it’s the same for Vietnam.

When you live in a place that is extremely crowded and everyone is basically living on top of each other then it’s easy to see how you might not want to be dealing with another person’s crap all day and it would be easier to just say screw it rather than try to have a meaningful conversation, especially when that person is speaking a language you really don’t know and they have weird ideas.

I get that, and so I try to be sensitive to Vietnamese and their ways of doing things. I know I’m asking them to think outside of a pretty big cultural box when I try to get them to confront a problem rather than avoid it, but when I have to deal with a business and it effects my money or my visa status or I see that person every day, like my wife or a co-worker then I expect that there will be a little ‘meeting me halfway’ going on. Unfortunately, most Vietnamese do not understand the ‘meeting you halfway’ concept though, it’s the Vietnamese way or no way at all. Still as more and more Vietnamese come into contact with foreigners that is slowly beginning to change.

My wife used to have a real big problem dealing with any sort of problem in our relationship. As soon as there was any sort of problem she would clam up and I wouldn’t hear a word out of her about it ever again. There was no communication at all, but now when she gets upset after a few minutes she’ll tell me what’s upsetting her and then we can actually have a conversation about it.

So I know that there is the ability to learn how to talk about problems, but the difficulty arises when you have a problem with a random Vietnamese person like a taxi driver or a waiter or a shop clerk or a Vietnamese co-worker. That’s when real and legitimate cultural confrontations can happen.

Let’s look at an example of this. One that has happened to many of my friends and to myself also. A co-worker needed a Work permit, and the lady filling out the information in the office misspelled the person’s name. This caused a whole lot of problems for that person, but did the lady in the office ever offer any sort of apology or explanation? No, nothing was ever said even though this lady cost this person a lot of money and time to take care of this problem she created. When those things happen here it can be really frustrating.

Does anyone here have an example of when they had a problem with saving face? Post your stories for us to read.


Written by Nate Jensen

[lasupkia]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Just be prepared to pay when involved in accident...both ways if no valid licence...

I refused ride if vb dun ride well...I rather call my xe om...

Aiyo brudder. Yr cannon poking the vb kar chng then how can she ride well??
Saw the inflight magazine on vietjetair. Now they have GRABXEOM. 3000vnd per km. Saw the ad but haven't tried.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by lasupkia

Aiyo brudder. Yr cannon poking the vb kar chng then how can she ride well??
Saw the inflight magazine on vietjetair. Now they have GRABXEOM. 3000vnd per km. Saw the ad but haven't tried.

Recently alot of thesw grabbing apps popping up... Grabtaxi, grabcar, grabxeom?
When will there be a grabchicken apps?

[milfmilf]

Originally Posted by Kim91

Nice article....

http://goslapdish.com/2015/04/saving-face-in-vietnam/

SLAPdish
Saving face in Vietnam

23rd April 2015 SLAPlife SLAPlife


Saving face in Vietnam


Written by Nate Jensen

maybe my england bad or I impatient
the author should give more examples on what he had encountered that made him write this article ...
then sounds more like beating around the bush

[SingViet]

There are many factors needed to make a marriage work out well. The traditional way being the husband works hard to bring the dough home and ensure that the family is well fed. The wife, on the other hand, takes good care of the children and ensure that the household is well taken care of. Such traditional setup will normally produce children who do well in school and have good characters. But when one of the traditional factors get shaken, are we still looking at the same result?

I can see many Singaporean husbands working hard outside but lack the basic understanding that `a roof over the head' is needed. Staying with parents will eventually create lots of friction between mother and wife and yourself. Instead of saving up for a flat, they will rather spend the money on holidays or let the VN wife bring the money back to VN village to build a house. If finally they manage to buy a flat after some years, it will only be a 3 room flat. Many are able to afford better lifestyles, but the burden of the viet relatives drain their resources.

More and more VN spouses are going out to work. They leave their children with their mother at home. Everyday Tieng Viet, hardly any mandarin nor English. Think about it, your MIL hardly know the requirements to raise a kid in the modern city. She only knows how to raise a kid, not educating them. That explains for a lot of `useless' kids in the village. Tieng Viet is totally useless in Singapore schools. That explains why majority of kids with viet mothers fare badly in school.

I used to think why Singaporeans look down on Singaporean man with Viet spouses. After some years, i understand why. If you you mix around with the same group all the time, you will not see the reasons as all `others' are doing the same. Look around, look at the average Singaporeans who are making lots of effort to educate their children. Even foreigners like PRC Chinese and Filipinos are doing well in Singapore schools.

I was at Jurong Point the other day and saw 2 viet spouses with their 2 kids and their mothers. They were speaking Tieng Viet damm loud, attracting lots of attention. The children, to my surprise, were speaking tieng viet fluently. Many do not understand, if both parents are vietnamese, then the children will be vietnamese. If father is Singaporean, then the kid is Singaporean. Marry a wife and lose your identity? Do something right for your children please. If you feel that your children can go back to VN in the future and do big business there, forget about it. There's no place to stand in the big cities for kids from the villages. Even in the villages, siblings will have taken up all the land and resources, leaving nothing for you from Singapore.

Educate your children to survive in Singapore. Give them good education and a `roof over their heads'. This is the basic we can do for them.