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  #226  
Old 11-11-2006, 01:57 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Malaysian Datuk
The NIKE slogan apply only when dealing with LUST, SEX, CARNAL PLEASURES etc.....please dun distort my teachings
ya lor..wait ppl see liao go do wrong thing then headache ar.
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  #227  
Old 11-11-2006, 02:03 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jemz
i thought i had married the man i loved most

but it turned out that he's:

- irresponsible
- violent
- bad-tempered
- selfish
- immature

most of what he say was dua-kanging me. marry liao den turns out most of the time he talk big only. even to me and family, he act as if he knows everything and has got it all under controlled. he do bizness wait for people to look and refer to him instead of actively going out to look for sales. so we have many other commitments and bills, i end up bao-ing everything for him. even his handphone bills and loans. summore i take home 1k a month. how to maintain? my savings running dry but he also dont care. never thought about saving money for the house. everytime talk to him about money he say he's stressed out. i'm the one working my ass off, feeding and clothing him, giving him a shelter and he's telling me he's stressed out? i come back still need to do housework, cook and keep him company.

what is love? i think it's BS. at least, in my case, it's already faded... i loved him but he just made me give up on him.

Sister, your story has made me want to tell this situation of mine now...

....4 years ago I met a lady at my workplace who was almost in the same situtation with you... Her hubby simply bo chup, wants to be a metrosexual man and doesn't even want to make love with her at times... She almost divorce him until he said he willl repent... They never divorced.. and had 1 kid soon after... she told me he has changed for the better.

But 4 years later now, she and I has developed an 'intimate' relationship... We love each other deep enough... But she can't divorce him for the sake of the kid... And we both can't be togerther permanently... She sort of regretted... And I told her, 'if only I had met her earlier....' It was heartaching...

I guess, this is all but fate...
  #228  
Old 11-11-2006, 02:11 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toyota Honda
She sort of regretted... And I told her, 'if only I had met her earlier....' It was heartaching...

I guess, this is all but fate...
Fate like life itself can be cruel at times but we still have to overcome it and move on.Hope all is well for u now.
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  #229  
Old 11-11-2006, 06:09 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shuang_Jie_Gun
Fate like life itself can be cruel at times but we still have to overcome it and move on.Hope all is well for u now.

Bro, thanks for your well wishes..

Like what I have mentioned in other threads, I am currently nursing a bad heartbreak since last year.. my longtime gf who has been with me from the time I ORD, Uni, employed till self employed last year.

I used to be a very big player, be it FLs, WLs or having lots of girls by myside.. But when I started my business and decided to settle down with her withthin the next 4 years. who knows 4 mths after starting business, she left cos a guy from her part time studies was going after her... It was really tough and difficult for me that time... Plus so many problems financially and from work issues..Cried so many times in office out of fear, desperation and heartaches..

At least now life is better.. Many times when problems arises from work, I still yearn for that particular someone whom I can relate to.. I don't.. But at least I can focus on working to solve it..

When there arer good news like company breaking even or even clinching some deals from big companies, I also would yearn to share these good news with that someone... But I don't.. And I start thinking of her again.

So bros and sis, I may not be married nor attached... I may not be older than you all... But, I hope at least you look at my situation and think... At least you have someone.. He/She may not be perfect, but he/she can be there for you... Yiou are much better off than peolple like me..

And to sis, you know when your guy loves you.. No matter how bad he might be, he will still be with you... Just forgive him..

And as I am typing this, I had a tear dropping down my cheeks cos it made me think of her and my failed relationship...
  #230  
Old 11-11-2006, 06:14 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toyota Honda
So bros and sis, I may not be married nor attached... I may not be older than you all... But, I hope at least you look at my situation and think... At least you have someone.. He/She may not be perfect, but he/she can be there for you... Yiou are much better off than peolple like me..

And as I am typing this, I had a tear dropping down my cheeks cos it made me think of her and my failed relationship...
Bro,i am with u,i knw how it feels.The feeling of being lonely & empty inside and yet there is no one u can turn to when u really needed someone.Be strong and i believe the right girl of ur dreams will come to u just as i wished my girl of my dreams will come to me.let's meet up for drinks someday.i always liked to share views on love life,maybe i should wrk part time as a love consultant or some kind.
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  #231  
Old 11-11-2006, 06:15 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Toyota Honda
my longtime gf who has been with me from the time I ORD, Uni, employed till self employed last year.
read your case i also sad sad.. sama sama..
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  #232  
Old 11-11-2006, 06:21 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by asdfghjkl
read your case i also sad sad.. sama sama..
wanna share ur story with us if u don't mind?
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  #233  
Old 11-11-2006, 07:03 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

so many sad stories told her by bros and sis........
all of us are imperfect beings........
us and our mates........
so let try to love an imperfect person perfectly..........
good luck to us all.........
  #234  
Old 11-11-2006, 07:06 PM
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Shuang_Jie_Gun Shuang_Jie_Gun is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by YELLOW
so let try to love an imperfect person perfectly..........
good luck to us all.........
love an imperfect person perfectly-what a well-put phrase.
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  #235  
Old 11-11-2006, 11:23 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonah11
Love her? Well, I love her and am grateful to her for things she done for me. Sometimes I beginning to wonder whether she is doing all these for me so that I can marry her. Will she stop these things after we get married?

I got a feeling that she is doing all these things for me now. It may be temporal. How I know? I look at the way she treats her parents and know how bad and stingy she can be with them.
It really sounds you being with her is more of obligation of some sort rather than love itself. If you didn't knew her parents initially...would you still see yourself being with her? (this will answer your doubts)

JWNY
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  #236  
Old 11-11-2006, 11:28 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jon2000sg
life is all but all about money, esp in SG
In life, one would need money...more or less, it doesn't matter, everywhere it is essential. The issue lies on where is the line drawn...ask a million women...you will have 1 million different answers...

JWNY
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  #237  
Old 11-11-2006, 11:39 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by YELLOW
so let try to love an imperfect person perfectly..........
Well said..."Love is when you shed a tear and still want her, it's when she ignores you and you still love her, it's when she loves another man but you still smile and say I'm happy for you, when all you really do is...cry."

JWNY
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  #238  
Old 12-11-2006, 12:47 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JWNY
It really sounds you being with her is more of obligation of some sort rather than love itself. If you didn't knew her parents initially...would you still see yourself being with her? (this will answer your doubts)

JWNY
Bro, I answer your question honestly to myself. During my initial courtship days, I would not have gone for her if I did not know her parents.

As our relationship progress, I realise that somehow she becomes a part of my life and vice versa. She becomes my helping hand, a partner to me though I am still the lone ranger and independent type and many things still keep from her. However, we took trains, buses together. When I change jobs, she was there for me. When I face challenges and difficulties, she gave her support to me. When I need someone to speak and think the same wavelength and frequency as me, she is the one. That is why I say she took care of me and I love her as a person. And today if I did not know her parents, I will still go after her.

However, I still fear the institution of marriage. Human beings fail you someday. I have seen and heard from so many people that long long time ago, they used to love each other so much but today they are in court for divorce. Some of these common reasons and one of them which is the most common and yet most fearful is that they change hearts and no longer love you. Where is the security?

Further, I fear her temperament. As some of you might agree, as a woman age and grows older, their temperament change if not for the worse. Esp when they are late 30s to 40s..... This is a factor we guys may have to face or have faced or facing.

Finally, like I say in the initial posting, I still look and ogle at other women when I am with my gf. Despite how hard I try, I will still look at them and sometimes turn to HC and Geylang for release and excitement. Maybe I have a high sex drive...... Yah for your information, both of us do not believe in pre martial sex.
  #239  
Old 12-11-2006, 12:47 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

just got into this thread..

actually quite depressing after readin the posts from the bros & sis exp.. myself attached to gf for 3 yrs.. view her as the potential 1.. but recently been frustrated over our r/s.. there's nothin wrong between us, but just feel it has reached a stage where there r less nice suprises etc.. feels mono.. & the mind starts to wonder around.. i know i'm stupid to have such tots when i got a caring gf that loves me.. but really dun wanna let her down either..

really hope to keep the fire goin..
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  #240  
Old 12-11-2006, 12:57 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jonah11
During my initial courtship days, I would not have gone for her if I did not know her parents.

As our relationship progress, I realise that somehow she becomes a part of my life and vice versa. And today if I did not know her parents, I will still go after her.
I think...this is enough proof for me...that you love her most ...for the other major thing...kindly refer to my earlier post.

JWNY

Quote:
Originally Posted by JWNY - Short poll:

How many of you guys and girls...have loved someone so much, but the sex is terrible...really unenjoyable...but loved sex so much with someone else, but not want to commit to that person just because it's the sex that is GREAT?
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