Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Benjjtang]

Sibei hot these Vietnamese chicks

[chongboonkid]

[QUOTE][QUOTE=Hurricane88;2079405 many VBs married PRC men...so $$$ is more in important...although knew few divorces...
[/QUOTE]
last time singapore men v popular, now our china male cousins no.1 choice for vn girls liao

[LooksLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by Cenzizi

I knew my vietnamese girlfriend using okcupid when I was in Singapore in May 2019. I had no expectations on her as in fact I was looking for casual sex in hcmc when I flew to the city. I managed to hook up with five different girls in hcmc but it doesnt my current girlfriend who rejected me. She refused to come to my hotel but we had a nice chat over coffee and dinner. She was still a university student and she claimed that she is virgin as she had just one puppy love before knowing me. We have been in a long distance relationship since the beginning of covid and have the plan for marriage by 2022. Will keep you all updated.

Is her name Mary? Jokes aside, always take their words with a huge clump of salt. Have you also considered these factors? Becoz marrying foreign brides is a huge leap of faith and may not always pan out the way you want.

1) Are you willing to learn to speak, read and write Vietnamese? (To keep and eye on her)
2) Are you obligated/willing to take up any debts her immediate family members incurred?
3) If she tell you to move over to Vietnam permanently in the future. Are you willing to drop everything instantly?

[CuteDragon79]

Learning Process Part 1

Hi Everyone,

I’m a new member here. But actually I had been reading through the threads of 1600+ at least 3 times since end of 2018. I am still learning even at this point of time. I feel it’s time to share my experiences and stories here.

My 2nd marriage was already on the rocks (Both with SG ladies) when I chanced upon this thread. I had no idea what my life will be from that moment on after my divorce had been finalised. You guys already been chatting about why SG ladies are really bad at being wives, so I shall skip this. After reading this tread, one day, it just struck my mind to get a Vietnamese Wife based on the good and bad points which everyone had discussed and shared here.

I ever went to KTVs which have Vietnamese ladies (WL) for companionship. Yes, they are mostly only after $$$ and I figured it’s no point wasting time and money on them. Bro Hurricane is right: Go to Vietnam and find a decent Vietnamese gal! However as many bros had mentioned the difficulties of communication when being in Vietnam plus the fact that I have never been to Vietnam before.

In one of the older posts, I saw a suggestion to use VietnamCupid (Online Dating Website). I registered an account and asked the Vietnamese gals there if they are interested to continue to chat with me using “Zalo”. As the Vietnamese ladies are quite limited to TV, I chatted with them with the aid of “Say Hi” Translation App. I would say it is NOT easy to find a Vietnamese GF/Wife even by doing these.

After chatting with several ladies, I felt that the ladies living in the big cities like HCM/Hanoi are very similar as our SG girls in terms of behaviour and mindset. Of course some people might disagree with me and it depends on the different Vietnamese ladies we had encountered with. On my first trip to Vietnam, I flew from SG to Dong Hoi via HCM to meetup with one of the ladies “M”, a gym instructor age 33. I was in Dong Hoi for 5 days. We went for coffee, a couple of meals and a movie commuting mostly on her scooter. However, we could not progress further as she was still having emotional baggage. There were no intimacy involved.

On my second trip to Vietnam, I went to HCM to meetup with “N”, jobless (previously a WL) age 25. She was willing to accept my past (2 marriages etc). On that visit, I realised she was quite a spendthrift, e.g Getting me to treat her friends and relatives to a meal twice costing about 4 million each time. She even brought me to her village in Can Tho to see her parents and grand-parents etc to let them know of my presence. By the end of my 8 days trip, I had enough. I stopped contacting her after I got back to SG.

To be continued.....

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by CuteDragon79

Learning Process Part 1

Bro Hurricane is right: Go to Vietnam and find a decent Vietnamese gal! However as many bros had mentioned the difficulties of communication when being in Vietnam plus the fact that I have never been to Vietnam before.


On my second trip to Vietnam, I went to HCM to meetup with “N”, jobless (previously a WL) age 25. She was willing to accept my past (2 marriages etc). On that visit, I realised she was quite a spendthrift, e.g Getting me to treat her friends and relatives to a meal twice costing about 4 million each time. She even brought me to her village in Can Tho to see her parents and grand-parents etc to let them know of my presence. By the end of my 8 days trip, I had enough. I stopped contacting her after I got back to SG.

To be continued.....

Waiting patiently for your next story...

Will reply you only after you complete your story.

[Naka_Timo]

Kept reading, nice post and nice thread.

[staminadick]

10 years ago know a vietnam girl i singapore. Shes touring with friends. Ambition lady and we keep in contact all these years. Now shes doing very well. Apartment and Car all use cash to buy.


If smart and willing to work hard can do well in vietnam. She never ask people for money bcos of her pride.

[CuteDragon79]

Learning Process Part 2

Despite all the difficulties I had faced, I still remembered the advice given here: DO NOT resort to getting a Vietnamese Wife from marriage agencies e.g Mark Lin and the tragic case-study of bro Haojian.

From the start of me using VietnamCupid, I told the gals that I’m looking for a Vietnamese wife as they are famed for being good at cooking and taking care of family etc. Based on what I had learnt over here, understanding about “Sexual Market Value” from Writer/YouTuber Rollo Tomassi and also using my own improvisation, I made myself a checklist on what to look for:

1) Is she able to accept that this is my 3rd marriage?

2) Is she able to accept that I have a dragon tattoo?

3) Is she able to accept that my family is unlikely to accept her as my wife? (My parents are very disappointed with me after I had 2 failed marriages).

4) How much is her salary? (Only looking for those earning less than 5 million a month. My rational is the lower salary they earn, they will be more willing to be Point 5).

5) Is she willing to be a housewife? (Same thoughts as per Bro KangTuo when he mentioned that he worked office hours and preferred having a housewife etc). I personally don’t believe in needing a 2-income family ever since my previous marriages had failed.

6) Only looking for gals age 25 and below. (After understanding about “Sexual Market Value”).

7) Only gals living in the provinces whom had never lived/worked in the major cities such as HCM/Hanoi. (No longer keen on girls from provinces but living/working in the major cities).

8) Never had a passport before and very bad with English and Mandarin. I think this guideline was from Bro Namelo or Bro Hurricane. I forgot who had mentioned these here in an older post. Lol

9) Only chat with gals whom can do Zalo video-call. Regardless whether can communicate or not, this is to prove they are real person and not some scammers etc).

I asked these questions to the gals as early as during our first-time chatting in Zalo. A friend of mine said “Wah, where got people go ‘All-In’ during the first chat?” My reply is “I don’t want to waste time”. If cannot accept, then move on. There are plenty of gals in Vietnam.

I stopped chatting with the following:

1) Some gals (Especially City-based) felt offended when I asked about their salaries.

2) Some gals wanted to work after marriage to supplement household income, which I felt is just an excuse to have more personal money or other motives etc.

3) Some gals are concerned that since my parents are not in favour of my marriage, it means that they will not come for my wedding. Some gals felt it was important to have parents around during the wedding for blessings and cannot accept this.

To be continued.....

[CuteDragon79]

Learning Process Part 3

After 3 months of chatting with more than 40 gals, I got to know “T”, a barber age 21 from Dong Thap. She is 19 years younger than me. Everything went well that we were already discussing about marriage 2 weeks after chatting with each other. She accepts me for whom I am. For “T”, she wants someone whom really loves her wholeheartedly, can care for her and care for her mother too. She does have a couple of requests for whom she is looking for though: Able to send money (about 5 million) to support her mother monthly and in the longer-term, build a new house (about 300 million) for her mother. She had been living a life with her mother (两个人相依为命) and therefore she is concerned about her mother’s well-being. To me, I can understand and accept these terms.

In July 2019, about 4 weeks of knowing each other, I flew to HCM on my third trip to Vietnam to meet “T”. Both “T” and her mother came to pick me up at the airport. “Dang!” I got tricked by “T” the moment I saw her!! She told me she was 166cm tall while I am 163cm tall and she can accept me for being shorter than her!!! But it turns out she is at most 160cm tall. I went to see her with the mindset that she is taller than me!!!! Oh well, it’s ok. The journey in the 7-seater car is about more than 4 hours to Dong Thap with the travelling speed probably 40-60km/h.

After reaching her house, I noticed it is made with wooden material with zinc roof and thankfully still have floor tiles. I gave “T” a red packet as a token and bought a used iphone7 (in SG) as a gift to her. I also gave her mother a red packet as a token and 12 bottles of Eagle Oil. They brought me to go check-in at the hotel which I booked at Long Xuyen, probably more than 30km away from their house. After checking-in into the hotel, we went to Vincom Shopping Center as I wanted to show my sincerity of my visit by buying a proposal/wedding ring. We both liked a diamond ring which cost about SGD$1,000 and gotten it.

2 days later, I went to her house for a “formal” meal with her relatives around. It was there, where I proposed marriage to her in front of her mother and relatives by using “SayHi” app. She agreed to my proposal of marriage happily and feeling a little shy. What I noticed was most males would be dining at the table while the females would be dining on the floor in the kitchen.

To be continued…..

[CuteDragon79]

Learning Process Part 4

We began to officially plan for our marriage. We went to sign-up a package from a bridal shop costing about SGD$1,000. Wow, if it’s in SG, think it would probably cost $4,000! Her family has a request: The marriage registration has to be done in Vietnam. Despite knowing the difficulties of doing the paperwork from the forum here, I agreed. My wife-to-be only finished high school and she was unaware of most of the paperwork needed to prepare for. She only knew she needed to get a letter from her provincial government to certify that she is single. I did not go through a marriage agent as I thought I could manage it by myself as I am a civil servant.

On one of the days, I was down with fever and it was raining quite heavily. But my wife-to-be rode on her motorbike in her raincoat to buy dinner for me and brought it to my hotel. I seriously thought I did not see any SG gals doing this for me ever in my life! After several days of staying at the hotel in Long Xuyen, she made the decision (With permission from her mother) for me to move to stay in her house for a few days so that there is no need to travel to and fro between her house and the hotel. She slept with her mother in one room while I slept in her room. OMG! Troi Oi!! Other than during BMT in Pulau Tekong, this is the second time in my life that I am sleeping on a bed covered with mosquito net!!! There were many mosquitoes around for sure. There’s no toilet flushing system, there’s no water-heater. I needed to boil water so as to take a shower, otherwise their water is too cold! Ok, I’m damn living in a cave previously in SG. I didn’t know rooster can fly over a barrier! What an eye-opener! I cannot stand their sunrise, their sunrise is 5am and the roosters are calling from as early as 3am in the morning. That’s “kampong” life.

I brought her mother and her to HCMC and we stayed in a 3-star hotel in D1. We went to the hospital in D5 for the mental check-up. OMG!!! There were many other guys there with their future Vietnamese wives doing the same thing. I saw guys from Malaysia, Taiwan, Korea, USA and Europe too!!! Looks like many people are into Vietnamese Wives!!

After 16 days on this trip, I departed back to SG. My wife-to-be cried with tears rolling down her cheek while sending me off at the airport.

To be continued…..

[hellothis555]

Only a few weeks chatting online and proposed on 1st meet up Personally too fast, no point rush into marriage. Learn about each other, habits, family, thoughts, etc before deciding. Marriage in Vietnam, u are marrying the whole family.

Anyway, personal view on the above. Amazing and continue with your story.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by CuteDragon79

Learning Process Part 4

After 16 days on this trip, I departed back to SG. My wife-to-be cried with tears rolling down her cheek while sending me off at the airport.

To be continued…..

She deserved best actress award for crying scene at the airport departure...anyway Viets not allowed to go in the departure hall without ticket...

I told my friends please do not allow the gfs to send off at airport as I had witnessed countless times that the gfs will cried non-stop...still can break-off within next few months...

Originally Posted by CuteDragon79

8) Never had a passport before and very bad with English and Mandarin. I think this guideline was from Bro Namelo or Bro Hurricane. I forgot who had mentioned these here in an older post. Lol

My reason was if Viet gals dun speak English or Mandarin then they are not into hooking up with foreigners who dun speak tieng viet.

Originally Posted by hellothis555

Only a few weeks chatting online and proposed on 1st meet up Personally too fast, no point rush into marriage. Learn about each other, habits, family, thoughts, etc before deciding. Marriage in Vietnam, u are marrying the whole family.

Can always be together without marriage. Knew several Viet gals doing that now.

[fallen11]

Cutedragon79 certainly started many things wrong here and just blindly followed other people's advice without knowing the rationale or reason behind it.
i have been refraining from commenting on all these as his story is not finished yet. Let him finish his story first to know better

ok part 4 liao. So how many parts in total ah? Seems like got 7-8 parts at least.

[CuteDragon79]

Learning Process Part 5

Back in SG, I started preparing for the paperwork etc:
1) Request for official letter from ROM to indicate past marriage records.

2) Request for Original Certified Divorce Final Judgements VALIDATED by Family Court via Crimson Logic.

3) Collect Final Judgements with regards to Point 2 at Family Court.

4) Notorised and Certified Passport, NRIC, ROM Letter and Final Judgements at Ministry of Foreign Affairs Singapore.

Separately, I applied for Pre-Marriage LTVP Assessment and gotten approval from ICA. I also purchased a resale 3-room HDB under Single Scheme and left with 2.5 more years of outstanding housing loan to date.

In October 2019, I flew to Vietnam to have my bridal photos taken. During this trip, paperwork continued:

5) Brought everything from Point 4 to Certify at Singapore Consulate Office in HCMC D1 Saigon Center Tower 2. Signed a Statutory Declaration letter there to prove available for marriage. Needed 1 working day to process.

6) Brought everything to Vietnam Ministry of Foreign Affairs in D1 near Diamond Plaza, walking distance from Singapore Consulate Office. Needed 1 working day to process also.

7) Brought everything to People’s Committee Office in HCMC D1 opposite Diamond Plaza to translate into Vietnamese language and notorised. Needed a few working days but I paid extra to get it done in 1 working day.

This trip was very tight and rushing and for only 6 days.

In December 2019, I flew to Vietnam to submit all the documents for registration of marriage with the province Office after I had collected my keys to my flat in November 2019 (Got to complete housing purchase as a Single before I got officially married). This trip including leisure was for 9 days.

In January 2020, I flew to Vietnam for 2 days to collect my marriage certificate. It only took 2 trips (Registration and Collection) instead of the “At least 3 trips” mentioned by the senior bros because Vietnam scrapped the “2nd trip (Interview session)”. Perhaps it was done to reduce corruption. It has 2 same sets of marriage certificates, I don’t understand why? Anyway, I left both sets in my BX house when I left for SG.

Honestly, I’m a person who hates travelling and don’t like to go through customs etc. What I travelled in 2019 is more than what I had travelled previously in my life combined. For the sake of my BX, I’m willing to.

We were supposed to do notorisation and translation of our Vietnamese marriage certificate in HCMC in March 2020 and hold our customary wedding in my BX’s village in May 2020. However Covid-19 struck and we have not been able meet each other in-person ever since. Everyday has been doing video-call via Zalo till this day. In the meantime, I’m slowly doing up our flat while awaiting for us to be reunited with each other.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by CuteDragon79

We were supposed to do notorisation and translation of our Vietnamese marriage certificate in HCMC in March 2020 and hold our customary wedding in my BX’s village in May 2020. However Covid-19 struck and we have not been able meet each other in-person ever since. Everyday has been doing video-call via Zalo till this day. In the meantime, I’m slowly doing up our flat while awaiting for us to be reunited with each other.

This part is correct and after March 2020 Vietnam suspended international flights...