Your Opinion on Sex with a Married Woman or Attached Girl (Dilemma on Morality)

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by Hunting

Hi All Sexual Predators,

I would like to have an open forum on what you all (Guys & Gals) think about such sensitive issues.

Now, i know that by the book this is immoral. But i think at times it was meant to happened due to temptation, where the guy/girl relationship is weak or the parties are just sexually more active then what they are getting.

This is a dilemma for me and i know there's this talk about morality.....

Actually we are sexual prey not predators cos women seldom understand and no idea how strong and uncontroller men's sexual urges can be.

It is not our fault cos we are genetically built this way which is why we are given a penis to thrust forward in a giving mode (Unlike a virginal which is open to receive) and it is always pointing forward when erect like an arrow searching for bull eye (this is the same reason why a bull eye is red in color).

As love knows no height difference, same goes with our sexual urges knowing no height. Whenever they are on a higher ground than the high ground of morality, we often suffer a short period of memory loss.

We are really innocent until proven gulity and on a moral value point of view, there is more happiness in giving than receiving can be.

[KingEros]

Just wish to quickly share my own 2 cents' worth ...

1st cent: Question of morality
What is morality actually? By its strictest code (our creator's definition of morality), SEX is meant solely for procreation & not recreation ... that's why in some obscure corners of the world, sodomy, fellatio and/or cunnilingus are still deemed as illegal acts.
However, if we have been obediently focused on solely procreating, then how different are we from a domesticated pet (ie, dog, cat, hamster, etc) ... think about it.

2nd cent: Pushing Envelopes
Humans would never have evolved to be THE species in control (at least when compared to any other animal species on Earth right now) ... so yes, we are where we are today becoz we dared to push the envelopes.
Some samsters here actually suggest that anyone on the verge of straying should first examine how to salvage a possibly failing relationship ... but I beg to differ: I know full well that I only need a simple meal to fill my stomach but I endeavour to have shark's fin, king prawns, sliced abalones, etc on my dinner table - so does a relationship need to be failing before one can stray?

I've had short flings & on-off liaisons with many women ... of a variety of marital status - the only morality measure I have: let go when they say so, that's the time they realise what they need is more than just multiple orgasms from having their sexual curiosities fulfilled.

[blohsg]

Originally Posted by PeaceWithin

If one doesn't want to feel guilt, then don't do it. Period. Simple as that.
If one does it, then be prepared to feel guilty, it's a package deal.

What If I did it and didn't feel guilty or wrong about it initially?

I feel you can't just base your decisions on type of consequences ... coz you'll make excuses just to get around the guilt.

Like Oneryjoe mentioned, some things are "right" and others are "wrong" so it's up to your moral compass ...

it would be best to not mess with someone married/attached ... no matter how good it felt or how easy it is to engage with the other person ... but easier said than done for some ... juz my 2 cts

KingEros : Yes ... r/s doesn't have to be crappy for 1 to stray ... you just need a willing party to provide the opportunity ... its' a rather "dangerous" world out there for the attached & married with FL/women/men out there on the hunt. btw KingEros ... was it ez to let go initially when they said so?

[steamer]

it takes 2 hands to willingly clap.

but make sure u clap hands with the right person if u dun want shit later.

so moral of the story is..clap discriminately and discreetly.

like the adage goes..."choose wisely"

[ManageYou]

Watch the movie Hall pass, maybe it might clear your mind.

[hella21]

The seventh commandment says "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Nevertheless, this sin has been committed throughout history. Today, though, adultery seems more rampant than ever. While tabloid stories report the affairs of politicians, millionaires, and movie stars, films like "The English Patient," "The Prince of Tides," or "The Bridges of Madison Country" feature and even promote adultery.

How prevalent is adultery? Two of the most reliable studies come to similar conclusions. The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior estimates that "More than one-third of men and one-quarter of women admit having had at least one extramarital sexual experience."

Whatever the actual numbers, the point to be made is that adultery is much more common than we would like to admit.

"There may be as many acts of infidelity in our society as there are traffic accidents. The fact that adultery has become commonplace has altered society's perception of it.

We won't go back to the times when adulterers were put in the stocks and publicly humiliated, or become one of those societies and there are many in which adultery is punishable by death. Society in any case is unable to enforce a rule that the majority of people break, and infidelity is so common it is no longer deviant.

[ashleygal]

when feelings are involved, there's no right or wrong. the only thing that matters is does being with this person makes you feel happy or not.
married/attached/single are just status. To me, as long as 2 parties are happy and are willing to be the 3rd party and able to take up the responsiblity if shit happens (ie; wife/husband or gf/bf found out about the affair), then they should just enjoy the moment together.

for me, as long as my future husband do not bring the shit back home, I will just ignore the affairs he had outside. meaning, when he steps into the house, all form of contacts with the 3rd party should stop. I don't mind my bf or future husband to look for FLs or flings as I know one cruel fact about men is that 99% of men will stray, in order for me to be happy and not being cranky, I rather give him the freedom to look for fun outside when I can't give him what he wants. as long as he be honest and truthful to me, I can close a blind eye to it (or maybe even ask the fling to join us for 3some?) There's a saying; if you can't beat them, join them. if i can't stop him from straying, then i should just let go and let him have his little fun outside. to me, as long as at the end of the day, he knows he have to go home and be the bf/husband of mine, I have no problem to the affairs he had.

i know my thinking sounds very screwed up... but coming from a once almost broken family and from my past r/s, these is what I have learnt, no man can ever survive any temptation when given the opportunites. I rather give my guy the freedom in return for his open-ness and honesty. That way, I will know his every move and have the security I need in order to know that he is still mine after the deed is done (FL) or when the fling ends.

[Hunting]

Hello All,
Wow!! First of all, thank you for coming into this tread and offer your thoughts. I am grateful for all the kind advices and insights to why such action should or shouldn't happened.

From the replies, my assumption from "guys" is quite straight forward as to assess the risk and both parties must be willing. A lady i.e Hickeybites (thank you) shared a personal encounter and her sound advice through interesting analogies (no punt intended). I hope to hear more from ladies who can share their own experiences and on how they see such relationships.

For myself like most men, my weakness for such continuous temptations are my shortfalls. I'm aware of my risks and repercussions associated with such relationship. As part of my rules of engagement, i will only process when all parties involved knows the risk & repercussions and are ready to walk away unconditionally i.e. legal family, 3rd party or all. Our 1st priority will always be our family in times of needs. With all said, i think i might still have some salvation left in me to ask myself if this is morally right. God please forgive me.

Part of the reason, i brought this issue up was that i have witnessed and spoken to guys who are having such "extra" relationships and it seems to be quite a norm in these modern times. Affairs (ouch! don't like this word) with secretary and colleagues, friends with benefits, mistress, sugarbabes, etc. Many of these men are like top executives, aircrews, CEOs, artists, etc. Some of these women are married and in their alternative lifestyle she behaves so differently from their married profile. I don't have the opportunity & idon't think its appropreate to talk about this with my friends "playmates". So i turn to this forum, Please forgive me wise ones.

Now, is there a reason why men and ladies are drawn to having such relationships? Is it because the "playmates" brings out the "best" in them or is this an avenue for them to explore stuff that they never do with their spouse. I was often told by ladies i'm "involved" in that "they wish they have met me earlier" and also things like "they have never done this with the men they married to and they will not let their spouse know they perform such act".

I know this is a bit cryptic but i don't think it's necessary to go into details. My secondary intend is to hear what is the element of desire that attracts men & women into such infidelities (ouch!) which they cant get from their own spouse.

Fellow infidels (sorry but i guess this is what they would call us), what's your take on this? Ladies i hope to hear from you too on what so great about the men that your life partners didn't deliver.

Sorry for those who came in to this thread and expect sexual stories. I hope i didn't put myself in the wrong thread for discussions on non-fiction life matters.

Thank you and hope to hear more from you.

Take care and be well.

[Hunting]

Originally Posted by ashleygal

I don't mind my bf or future husband to look for FLs or flings as I know one cruel fact about men is that 99% of men will stray, in order for me to be happy and not being cranky, I rather give him the freedom to look for fun outside when I can't give him what he wants. as long as he be honest and truthful to me, I can close a blind eye to it (or maybe even ask the fling to join us for 3some?) There's a saying; if you can't beat them, join them. if i can't stop him from straying, then i should just let go and let him have his little fun outside. to me, as long as at the end of the day, he knows he have to go home and be the bf/husband of mine, I have no problem to the affairs he had.

Hi Ashleygal,
Thank you for being the 2nd lady to offer your thoughts. Your view seems to be quite unconventional to the extend of having threesome! My mindset is that men & women are equal to some extend in society and women now do take on a lead role in family matters too like being financially capable and their spouse being the homemaker. If i may ask you a question, will you see a possibility of you having an affair? And why?

Looking forward to hear from you. Thank you.


On a separate note to all: My apologies as i'm a junior member of this forum and my replies are dependent on "higher powers" to be published. So bare with me if it looks slow in coming through. Cheers!

[ashleygal]

Originally Posted by Hunting

Hi Ashleygal,
Thank you for being the 2nd lady to offer your thoughts. Your view seems to be quite unconventional to the extend of having threesome! My mindset is that men & women are equal to some extend in society and women now do take on a lead role in family matters too like being financially capable and their spouse being the homemaker. If i may ask you a question, will you see a possibility of you having an affair? And why?

Looking forward to hear from you. Thank you.

to be honest, when i was with my ex of 2yrs, I had this fling who is married. I knew the fling before I know my ex. ex was overseas for student exchange for 6 months, so things happened, hooked up with fling again and I never regret it. it was fun because throughout the 2 yrs I was with my ex, I had never enjoy sex.

If I ever stray, most likely is because I don't get to enjoy sex with that partner. BUT with my current partner, I am 100% sure I will not stray. sex is heavenly good and intense. he is the best bf and lover I ever have.

[arsenal_84]

Originally Posted by ashleygal

no man can ever survive any temptation when given the opportunites.

there are still guys out there that can withstand temptation...i have 2 friends still virgin and swear off stepping into ktv or GL.
and another ex-classmate of mine who can book a room with a ktv girl and don't bonk her at all due to the fear of being stock take by his wife.
faithful guys are a rarity and strangely most ladies find such guys boring.

[KingEros]

Originally Posted by blohsg

KingEros: Yes ... r/s doesn't have to be crappy for 1 to stray ... you just need a willing party to provide the opportunity ... its' a rather "dangerous" world out there for the attached & married with FL/women/men out there on the hunt.
btw KingEros ... was it ez to let go initially when they said so?

Believe it or not, it was never difficult ... at least, with all the cases for me.
Simply because there was no love invested ... it was only the privileged private access to their bodily nooks & crevices I get which I loved - if anything, once I sensed that there is love from the other party, I tread with extreme care ... always ready to activate my ejection button.

[yang punk]

Originally Posted by hella21

The Janus Report on Sexual Behavior estimates that "More than one-third of men and one-quarter of women admit having had at least one extramarital sexual experience."

If that is true...then mathematically it's the women who tend to have more than 1 extramarital sexual experience!

[orneryjoe]

Originally Posted by yang punk

On the contrary...LIFE IS TOO LONG! We've got too much free time on our hands to do all the things we should not be doing!

So what are all these things we shouldn't be doing, and who says we shouldn't be doing them?

[eeemen]

Originally Posted by KingEros

Believe it or not, it was never difficult ... at least, with all the cases for me.
Simply because there was no love invested ... it was only the privileged private access to their bodily nooks & crevices I get which I loved - if anything, once I sensed that there is love from the other party, I tread with extreme care ... always ready to activate my ejection button.

Agreed, no love invested, only the passion and lust . When its time to walk away, JUST DO IT!! cheers bros & Happy bonking ................