Intimacy issues with BF

[MeiMei5151]

Originally Posted by Sensual8725

.........and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? ........ He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.


It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. ......... if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. ........ at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

dear TS, have you ever thought that your BF has autistic traits? His strict schedule and routine for which specific days/time to have sex are classical symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). There is nothing wrong with marrying someone with ASD as I always believed everyone is autistic in some ways or degree. It is a matter of whether you can accept and accommodate his so-called idiosyncracies.

The other more worrying thing is that he is a (self-)confirmed gaming addict. Like any addiction (gambling, drinking, drugs, etc) it won't go away unless he makes a considerable effort to kick the habit.

His watching porn and preference for masturbating instead of having sexual intercourse (when available) is again psychologically not right and typical of young boys fixation. His insistence on demanding sex whether or not you are in the mood again highlight his lack of emotional/mental maturity and belies his true love for you.

Sexual compatibility is not something that can be improved. You are either compatible or not. It is better to find out now and break off the relationship than force your way thru' a marriage without intimacy. Love is good but lust is more important and stronger in a relationship!

[owl888]

Originally Posted by Sensual8725

BF does watch porn and DIY, I know it because he doesn’t bother to delete the history. He is also into lan games and spend hours after work on them.

That's the problem! Coz he's too infatuated with LAN Games and the characters inside so he's neglected u. Since he's not treasure u so much, think maybe he's not the long term guy for u

I'm sure u can find better guy that loves u more than your current bf, u so young and pretty got plenty of time to find one. Do socialize around hope u can find your Mr Right!

[Gaofar]

My dear girl.. From what I see, this is your first man in your life?.. If so then I will not blame you but enlighten you instead..

Most men (if not all..) are "wired" in such a way that if they are concentrated in doing anything, be it playing games, watching a movie or cartoons/anime, even to serious work like drafting projects, brainstorming out new ideas.. Girls, girls, girls.. Please leave us alone and let us concentrate on our whatever things! I tell you that even if a girl stripped naked right next to me, most probably (I emphasised most probably har..) I will ignore her entirely!..

Seriously, can't find a better time to "turn on"? Wa lau..

Tell you what, there are 2 ways to strategise against your other half:

1. Whenever he takes a "half-time" to rest from his concentration, make your move then. A movie is not going to take forever, then wait until the movie is over lah.. Dramas/Animes/Games, surely he will take a break to eat or rest. Make your move then..

2. "If you can't fight it, then join in!". Don't believe this strategy? Simple, just do a "reverse-thought-flow". If you have a guy who's hot for you, don't you think he will do whatever hobbies you are doing in order to get close to you? Same deal here..

Of course, there's always a side note of excessiveness.. If even during his "half-time" you initiate and still no response, besides shaking him and tell him that there's a problem and you two should sit down and talk about it, sometimes going mad and attempts to break his items will bring about his nomalcy and make him realise the seriousness of the issue.. Nothing like a "I going to jump if you don't talk/don't bother/don't fuck with me attitude"..

[Gaofar]

[Gaofar]

This is most closely related to you!



Hope don't end up like this though.. Peace..

[asdfghjkl]

if he is into LAN games, i guess he is pretty young?

[sianlarh]

Originally Posted by Sensual8725

Same as u, BF still holds my hands, touch me, hug, kiss etc and tells me he loves me very much everyday. There was once we argued and he did admitted that the lack of initiation of intimacy is due to addiction to gaming, which is a killer to me. After improving for awhile, now he rather play games than let me touch him. Well, I don't initiate very often but just those times I initiated, he rejects me which angers me. Am I less attractive than a video game? So now i decided not to initiate anything anymore. He is so selfish. For the times he wanted sex, sometimes I just finish doing heavy household chores, he want it means he want it no matter how tired I tell him I am and I will give to him.

Xgenre, I go out with other guys not to boost my confidence. I am a confident woman but i do it because i need to keep myself occupied. i feel lonely in this relationship although on the surface, there is nothing wrong at all. At the same time, the way BF is behaving is putting me off.

It is his idea to have the designated days or rather, he didn't voice it out but he will only do it on those 2 days and it cannot be too late. i just don't think a sex life should be so designated as sometimes i want it to be passionate and let things fall into place and not just a schedule. i usually initiated in bed so definitely its private enough and its around 9pm obviously he is not going to sleep yet. then he tells me he is tired. if i don't initiate, he will be at his computer playing games and sleeping much later. he is only 3 years older than me, so i don't see how his energy for sex will be nil. at the same time, pls note that he watches porn when i'm not around. so he does feel horny but rather watch porn to release.

Thanks for replies.

At least you know he still loves you and is not gay

Some guy prefers masturbation than sex just solely because masturbation provides much better sensation. It might be due to his inadequate ability to bring himself to the "climax". Try exercising with him like Xgenre said. Or you could try to improve on your bed skill.

Another thing is he said the lack of sex is due to condoms.
Yea, i feel him...sometimes i'd rather masturbate because that shit makes me feel nothing at all. But if no need wear condom, i'll quit porn, really envy him

Maybe you could try asking for a sex ban. No porn no sex for a week and see how that goes, that will certainly increase his desire for sex. (That is if he really make do with the ban)

[Sensual8725]

Sis, He's 28. I am 25. So pretty young?

Gaofar,
that's funny!
anyway he is not the first man in my life lar.. just didn't want him to get addicted to those fantasy games. i keep emphasizing to him that i am a real person, not his lan games. hope things will improve. games are a real relationship destroyer.

[stonned]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

if he is into LAN games, i guess he is pretty young?

Not necessary leh, my bro (real one) who's late 30s still on LAN gaming almost every day for hours. No wonder his wif is not very happy oso....

[Likeucare]

haha tell me if u solve the problem a not ok, TS. I also having same problem. cannot sleep always .. want to do it but cant do it with him. dunno what to do already. once u had great sex before. masturbation is like shit. sorry to say that haha

[Sensual8725]

Originally Posted by Likeucare

haha tell me if u solve the problem a not ok, TS. I also having same problem. cannot sleep always .. want to do it but cant do it with him. dunno what to do already. once u had great sex before. masturbation is like shit. sorry to say that haha

i will tell u soon. haha got ready my armour of sexy uniforms n lingerie. don't believe that he won't be aroused. unleash my weapons. heh heh

[LadyAngeline]

Originally Posted by alan0338

tis part made me rofl ...

Me too.......

[BiRd13]

Probably he's just tired of work/lan game... I guessed he's not those high sex drive guy as if he needs, will just jerk away by watching porn or what... Twice per week I guessed is since the beginning ba... Probably once in awhile for few weeks/month, u both did not have sex... but again, I guess beside such cases, still have twice a week, and not lesser... If getting lesser, probably you need to take note already...

Try spice up your sex life... Your figure may be good, but if always using the same method (wear sexy lingerie etc), may get him bored at times... So probably can find some other way...

[Apocalypse]

Dress up like this is better than lingerie



If he doesn't respond, than you change uniform to this



and throw a ice ball at his computer.

This usually work

[Gaofar]

Eh.. Minus the weaponaries please.. He will confirm run further away from you instead!..