Does the so call " true love " still exist???

[dominion]

reading the posts from slyer and sufer (esp about the ORD part) a phrase from my commando offcr came to mind.

The World Is Cruel And Man Is Selfish!

how true sometimes....

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by slyer

bro i envy u leh can haf lunch with diff girls everyday.

bro..like u..my female frds all juz treat me as a jie mei and after hangin ard with them for so long..i realise tat seldom wld they really love a guy after they realise tat the guy is nice to them..most of the times..they wld juz love a guy for no reason..unlike wat we think..they wun fall in love with the guy becoz he is nice to her..

the one tat i like? she wun even look at me when we walked past each other now

[jinrenhe]

This is a wonderful thread. It has evolved from one bro’s questioning of whether true love exist into an engaging discussion where bros from different background relate their experiences/ feelings and now a topic on love & life in general…

I actually look forward to reading the stories of various bros here nightly. Thou I’ve been using the internet for years (but prob also because I dun play online games and use it only mainly for work & surfing porn hehe), the discussion here has somewhat dawned upon me the beauty of technology. If not for this platform, how would I get to realized that out in the corners of this world there are people sharing the same feeling & perhaps agony as me?

Sometimes I jus feel so left out, when i see how most of my peers seemed so comfortably inter-connected with the people around them, having such a fulfilling personnal life--- whilst I’m always like an outsider threading on the borderline of the mainstream crowd, perpetually struggling for that bit of love & affection which is the norm for the most people.
Reminds of a scene from Andy Lau’s movie Wait till u are older (童梦奇缘) where 光仔 (Andy lau’s character) recalls how as an angry little boy, he would often sit on the tree opposite his house and peer from outside the happiness and warmth of his family going on inside the house while he fumed about the “injustice” and for being left out.
He finally understood thou, it was actually he himself whom did not want to step inside his home…
The movie was very touching & inspiring as scene like this seem to remind us of our own folly… we may have sometimes, out of ego or simply anger, refused to “step inside” be it a home or relationship.
But on the other hand what if one’s predicament is not simply because he does not want to step in… but because for some reasons he has been excluded?

My problem is certainly not unique, as what some bros have shared theirs too, what if one has tried, tried hard but somehow still failed to make the mark?

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

If not for this platform, how would I get to realized that out in the corners of this world there are people sharing the same feeling & perhaps agony as me?

actually wat we are going thru is not tat different from anyone else..altho there are so many pple in the world and so many diff experiences..if u look carefully..the roots of most of our situation all boils down to being too attached to feelings, things or pple..the pple and places involved might be different but feelin are always the same..

tats y i like to read and watch movies alot..to me..every book and movie tells a story of another person in the world and ultimately we wld noe tat we are not tat alone in this world

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

.
But on the other hand what if one’s predicament is not simply because he does not want to step in… but because for some reasons he has been excluded?

My problem is certainly not unique, as what some bros have shared theirs too, what if one has tried, tried hard but somehow still failed to make the mark?

keep tryin...rather tried and failed than to fail to try..there is a risk to everything in life..gold medals dun come to those who juz turn out..they come to those who train hard for it

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

keep tryin...rather tried and failed than to fail to try..there is a risk to everything in life..gold medals dun come to those who juz turn out..they come to those who train hard for it

yeah bro,keep on trying and dont give up on trying.Winners nv quit trying and losers try to quit.

[slyer]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

bro..like u..my female frds all juz treat me as a jie mei and after hangin ard with them for so long..i realise tat seldom wld they really love a guy after they realise tat the guy is nice to them..most of the times..they wld juz love a guy for no reason..unlike wat we think..they wun fall in love with the guy becoz he is nice to her..

the one tat i like? she wun even look at me when we walked past each other now

ya its so sad. why these girls treat us like their jie mei or buddy. can't they show some interest in us or gv us some chance haiz... always end up as jie mei with the girl i like. then no choice gt to accept the girl i dun like sometimes. but then the r/s wun last long... somehow i tink girls like guys who are bad le... look at those young girls always with those ah bengs...

[Kyser Soze]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

Reminds of a scene from Andy Lau’s movie Wait till u are older (童梦奇缘) where 光仔 (Andy lau’s character) recalls how as an angry little boy, he would often sit on the tree opposite his house and peer from outside the happiness and warmth of his family going on inside the house while he fumed about the “injustice” and for being left out.
He finally understood thou, it was actually he himself whom did not want to step inside his home…

I like the movie, certainly meaningful. Glad that you can relate something to the movie. Out-of-luck guys like us are actually like what Karen Mok and Felix Wong encountered. We keep pursuiting but someone else just keep shutting up their doors. No choice, no choice. Maybe I'm neither handsome or rich.

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

My problem is certainly not unique, as what some bros have shared theirs too, what if one has tried, tried hard but somehow still failed to make the mark?

Keep trying. I'm 31 this year. To be frank, I do feel demoralise as day passes by, attending endless wedding dinners while I'm still single and unattached. But I would rather be a loser who tried everything than a loser who did absolutely nothing.

[dominion]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

the discussion here has somewhat dawned upon me the beauty of technology.

bro the internet is indeed very useful for getting information and sharing views. I use wikipedia and street directory often. medical symptoms, product info (hps, cars books) etc can all be searched online first. so hail the internet!

[dominion]

Originally Posted by slyer

ya its so sad. why these girls treat us like their jie mei or buddy. can't they show some interest in us or gv us some chance haiz... always end up as jie mei with the girl i like. then no choice gt to accept the girl i dun like sometimes. but then the r/s wun last long... somehow i tink girls like guys who are bad le... look at those young girls always with those ah bengs...

i whole heartedly agree with you. i've similar experience myself.

To bros slyer, deztruct the nice boys like this guy, as well as kyser, jinrenhe and all other bros in this thread, would like to dedicate this old link again to you guys.

http://www.pconline.com.cn/pcedu/car...17xiaobing.swf

[jinrenhe]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

bro..like u..my female frds all juz treat me as a jie mei and after hangin ard with them for so long..i realise tat seldom wld they really love a guy after they realise tat the guy is nice to them..most of the times..they wld juz love a guy for no reason..unlike wat we think..they wun fall in love with the guy becoz he is nice to her..

Originally Posted by slyer

ya its so sad. why these girls treat us like their jie mei or buddy. can't they show some interest in us or gv us some chance haiz... always end up as jie mei with the girl i like. then no choice gt to accept the girl i dun like sometimes. but then the r/s wun last long

One thing i've realized about all the guys who are having that bit of struggle with finding love have in common--- both fellow samsters here and my own friends--- they all belong to the kind of personality which is of a more sensitive & emotional nature.
It's probably such a personality which makes them good listeners and a comfortable friend to communicate with in the first plc. Even as a guy, i get along better with such people too.
But of course the missing bit of the puzzle is then "why do guys with such obviously appealing qualities then get left out in the cold when it comes to the dating game?"

The next question which many bros mused over after yet another failed attempt at finding happiness is "Do gals then only go for looks, money or some physical attributes?"
"The materialistic SG gal must be going only for good looking guys who drive nice cars with abit of money" is such a frequent assumption, even amongst my own friends.

is this the case?

Honestly from what i see, the truth actually can't be further from this (of course i'm no love guru, but a lost & dejected soul trying to make sense of his harsh world where rejection & loneliness is a way of life).

Strange as it may sound, but i really feel that things like look, money & car are actually the last thing on a gal's mind when it comes to love. how many times have we seen in orchard road where a beautiful gal with a chic sense of dressing holding hands tightly with some shabbily dressed guys who aren't remotely good looking? (i've seen it 10x times in orchard today).
Even amongst my gal friends, i was astonished when i see how ordinarily looking their bf are (some even botak army boy with pokered face) given that some of the gals are quite chio & tao-lookin if u don't know them.

so what's is about that these ppl have that i lack?? what does it take to be loved?
obviously if i had the answer, i would be busy contemplating what gifts to prepare for the coming v-day (like what some of my "luckier frens" are doing now) rather than pondering philosophically about the existence of love and its selection.

But one thing for sure, it takes more than any physical attributes like look, money or whatever to be loved & happy. could it be simply a matter of luck, random process of being at the right plc, right time? or it be karma as some believed?

[covenn]

bro jinrenhe, me aint love guru either, juz thot of giving my views. actually i guess it boils down to the kinda girls u r after. being sensitive n emotional might not be gd if u r going for the more havoc n playful type. these gals wld rather wan their guys to be more nonchalant n cool, maybe? sensitivity n emotions probably work better for the goody-2-shoes. but then again u still need dat bit of lucky n chemistry for things to happen. draw the line btw ur role as a potential suitor n a gd fren coz if u become too gd a fren to a girl, she will not look at u romantically and at the same time will not wanna jeopardise the frenship by startin a relationship. my point is, in tis ironic world we r living in, being sensitive n emotional, all gd n nice probably work against u at times.

[slyer]

Originally Posted by jinrenhe

One thing i've realized about all the guys who are having that bit of struggle with finding love have in common--- both fellow samsters here and my own friends--- they all belong to the kind of personality which is of a more sensitive & emotional nature.
It's probably such a personality which makes them good listeners and a comfortable friend to communicate with in the first plc. Even as a guy, i get along better with such people too.
But of course the missing bit of the puzzle is then "why do guys with such obviously appealing qualities then get left out in the cold when it comes to the dating game?"

The next question which many bros mused over after yet another failed attempt at finding happiness is "Do gals then only go for looks, money or some physical attributes?"
"The materialistic SG gal must be going only for good looking guys who drive nice cars with abit of money" is such a frequent assumption, even amongst my own friends.

is this the case?

Honestly from what i see, the truth actually can't be further from this (of course i'm no love guru, but a lost & dejected soul trying to make sense of his harsh world where rejection & loneliness is a way of life).

Strange as it may sound, but i really feel that things like look, money & car are actually the last thing on a gal's mind when it comes to love. how many times have we seen in orchard road where a beautiful gal with a chic sense of dressing holding hands tightly with some shabbily dressed guys who aren't remotely good looking? (i've seen it 10x times in orchard today).
Even amongst my gal friends, i was astonished when i see how ordinarily looking their bf are (some even botak army boy with pokered face) given that some of the gals are quite chio & tao-lookin if u don't know them.

so what's is about that these ppl have that i lack?? what does it take to be loved?
obviously if i had the answer, i would be busy contemplating what gifts to prepare for the coming v-day (like what some of my "luckier frens" are doing now) rather than pondering philosophically about the existence of love and its selection.

But one thing for sure, it takes more than any physical attributes like look, money or whatever to be loved & happy. could it be simply a matter of luck, random process of being at the right plc, right time? or it be karma as some believed?

bro i agree with u. somehow if we guys are too gd to girls or too close to them they will treat us more like their buddy. somehow girls like guys who are cool n abit bochap to them or those who have the bad boy attributes. but then these apply to girls who are between 15-20yrs old.

recently i chatted with my female fren abt the type of guys she like. she told me when in sec sch or uni, most girls go for cute or handsome guys or those ah bengs bad boy type. as long as the guy look beng and bad boy the girls wil like. then when the girls become older, they go for guys who are intelligent, have a stable career and gd character. looks is nt impt anymore but as long as decent can alr.

though we have this belief tat young girls go for looks and money, but i come across so many couples in town where most of the time the girls r so chio and fashionable while the guys are below par in terms of looks and fashion. so is our belief wrong? well i think somehow true love exists and beauty lies in eye of beholder. we may find these guys very average but to the girls their bf may be the most handsome ...

[slyer]

Originally Posted by dominion

i whole heartedly agree with you. i've similar experience myself.

To bros slyer, deztruct the nice boys like this guy, as well as kyser, jinrenhe and all other bros in this thread, would like to dedicate this old link again to you guys.

http://www.pconline.com.cn/pcedu/car...17xiaobing.swf

haiz. we are brothers in same situation. hope things will improve in the pig year. you all believe in feng shui to improve love luck? like buying crystals or put tao hua in ur room etc?

[ZzDeadzZ]

i feel that .. when a gal likes some other guy .. no matter how much u do .. how good ur to the gal .. how nice u treat her .. she still wont get touched .. lol .. this is from my point of view ba .. xD .. wasted about a year +++ just to get this gal .. who's deeply in love wif this other guy ... well .. failed .. so .. just to share my point of view ba . Lesson Learnt ?? .. don't treat a gal too good .. cuz .. u will get nth back in return ..

[dominion]

Originally Posted by slyer

haiz. we are brothers in same situation. hope things will improve in the pig year. you all believe in feng shui to improve love luck? like buying crystals or put tao hua in ur room etc?

heh. nv thought of such tactics before haha. have you tried them?

Originally Posted by auvoir

So last note is...bros..if u think u are a great guy..and gals are missing out on you..do something about it lah..when u see a chance, grab it. Dun lament about it ..timing is important..we dun have the means..but we can look for the right moment to strike ...

actually I believe that most things to happen to us as adults are a consequence of our actions. so I dont blame anyone for anything bad that has happened to me, or anything good that has not happened to me. Perhaps there is an important trait that is lacking in us, or some skill that we have not mastered that lands us in this predicament. It does not mean that we're lousier or less catch-worthy but maybe we just have much more to learn.