A Good Read! Bros who are experiencing pain, please read this!

[donnpoh]

great artcle!!

[sean69]

i feel pain because there is regret in my heart... while i wish i could spend more time with her or show more love and concern, it is no longer possible...

for all the unconditional love she has given me, i'm really ashamed as i feel i have given less than 10% back...

how to let go when there is so much pain?? it is easier said than done....

[nacal]

Originally Posted by sean69

i feel pain because there is regret in my heart... while i wish i could spend more time with her or show more love and concern, it is no longer possible...

for all the unconditional love she has given me, i'm really ashamed as i feel i have given less than 10% back...

how to let go when there is so much pain?? it is easier said than done....

Never easy, you have to accept the pain for what you have done. If possible, repent and give back to her. If not possible cause of death for eg.. maybe you can give back to other people close to her.

[nacal]

Originally Posted by abugga

After all....

" the ugliness we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature "

Sigh.

agree bro. The other side also stands true. The beauty that we see in others, is a reflection of our own nature.

Sometimes I often judge others as stingy, lazy, lying, lustful etccccccccccccc. Sometimes i see others as giving, wise and selfless. I'm working on myself to become more of the latter nowadays. Thoughts, speech and action have karma, beware!!

[abugga]

ooohh..............

[abugga]

Yes that's true, thought, speech and action all carries its karma.

Why? Because if there was no thought about it in the first place, why would there be speech followed by action?
We need to be mindful of ourselves always. To guard our thoughts, should there be an evil thought surfacing, we need to be quick in recognizing it and prevent it from happening, to snip the problems at its roots.


I'm starting to believe that my ex gf leaving me was actually a blessing in disguise, a maturation of good karma, as she made me took a good hard look at myself and made me realize that I need a change of way.

Please read this: The way my ex girlfriend left was that she left me for other guy that has been showing concern to her, possibly plotting to just wait for the perfect chance too, why did I say so? Because if he was just a normal genuine friend, once my girlfriend decided to break up with me, why would they be immediately together? But it's okay, I have my own faults too, I can only say she wasn't patient and mature enough to endure my darkest days where I was delusional and made a lot of wrong choices, if you guys are thinking we had hell for a long time.. It is only 3-4 months. Hence the reason I said I am lucky to have realize this early, I can't imagine if I married her and this actually happened.

I would say, it's a mixture of good and bad karma, but definitely more of the good. Please shed some insight, I'm willing to divulge this information to public because I have nothing to fear, I'm coming to terms with what happened, and I'm willing to hear both sides of the coin.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Foreword: Below post is a non-sectarian post.

Originally Posted by abugga

Just like how I don't hate my ex girlfriend for leaving me cold blooded. I hated her for what she represented, someone that actually did the same to me in the past. For some distant memory in my younger days that someone left me in the exact same way.
........................
It's time to look within.

Originally Posted by abugga

1) Please read this: The way my ex girlfriend left was that she left me for other guy that has been showing concern to her, possibly plotting to just wait for the perfect chance too, why did I say so? Because if he was just a normal genuine friend, once my girlfriend decided to break up with me, why would they be immediately together?

2) I can only say she wasn't patient and mature enough to endure my darkest days where I was delusional and made a lot of wrong choices,

3) if you guys are thinking we had hell for a long time.. It is only 3-4 months. Hence the reason I said I am lucky to have realize this early, I can't imagine if I married her and this actually happened.

It seems like you are still carrying the baggage of the "unpleasant memory/feelings” and generating negativity. It is normal we become unhappy when we find someone behaving in a way that we don't like or when we find something happening which we don't like. In life, unwanted things keep on happening, wanted things may or may not happen and during this process of reaction, we create tension within and start tying knots within throughout our lives, making our entire mental and physical structure fill with tension and full of negativity, that we becomes miserable.

Originally Posted by abugga

I'm starting to believe that my ex gf leaving me was actually a blessing in disguise, a maturation of good karma, as she made me took a good hard look at myself and made me realize that I need a change of way.
.............
I would say, it's a mixture of good and bad karma, but definitely more of the good. Please shed some insight, I'm willing to divulge this information to public because I have nothing to fear, I'm coming to terms with what happened, and I'm willing to hear both sides of the coin.

Diverting your attention and contributing the break-up to good karma is helpful and this diversion worked ma(s)king you feel somewhat better and it does seems like the anger and pain begin to subside.....(for now)..... However, the solution works only at the conscious level. In fact, by diverting the attention you push the negativity deep into the unconscious, and there you continue to generate and multiply the same defilement (As above points 1-3). On the surface there is a layer of peace and harmony, but in the depths of your mind, there is a sleeping volcano of suppressed negativity which sooner or later may erupt in a violent explosion. Burying the negativity in the unconscious will not eradicate it, and it only allow it to manifest as unwholesome physical or vocal actions at a later date. For example, bumping into her again....

Originally Posted by abugga

I'm starting to believe that my ex gf leaving me was actually a blessing in disguise, a maturation of good karma.....I would say, it's a mixture of good and bad karma, but definitely more of the good.

You should maximize this "good karma" and be aware of your feelings and accept things the way they are now and to recognize that everything changes.

Originally Posted by abugga

We need to be mindful of ourselves always. To guard our thoughts, should there be an evil thought surfacing, we need to be quick in recognizing it and prevent it from happening, to snip the problems at its roots.

We develop, nurture and strengthen mindfulness through the practice of meditation. It is same like if you want to learn to swim, jump into the water, not by reading books cos from the outside looking in, you can't understand it. Fortunately, we are capable of achieving mindfulness, but it requires practice

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by abugga

We need to be mindful of ourselves always.

Add on: I am no Saint. But I do take every opportunity to practice Mindfulness. For example, in HFJ, when I see other customers outbidding my flowers or outtipping my tips, I just sit back and clap. No ego, No shame, No animosity cos I'm mindful that money is hard to earn, oil prices very high, one mountain high another mountain higher (there be forever higher mountains) and whoever big pockets takes. This is universal law of HFJs/KTVs

[abugga]

Thanks bro IK, I have read your post time and time again, what you have said appears to be true, I'm indeed masking things up to a certain extent, on the conscious level I may believe I am okay. Yes I'm deeply aware that in the sub conscious realm, it still bothers me.

I will save your insightful words into my phone and bring it up as a reminder from time to time.

Any idea how to mindfully not let it affect me subconsciously? The last thing I want to do is to hurt my future girlfriend/wife because of these happenings.

I have been penning out my thoughts, emotions on paper and then crushing them, talking to my friends relieve me too, but only temporary.

[abugga]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Add on: I am no Saint. But I do take every opportunity to practice Mindfulness. For example, in HFJ, when I see other customers outbidding my flowers or outtipping my tips, I just sit back and clap. No ego, No shame, No animosity cos I'm mindful that money is hard to earn, oil prices very high, one mountain high another mountain higher (there be forever highest mountains) and whoever big pockets takes. This is universal law of HFJs/KTVs

Although I don't know how these things operate, I'm a loyal sort of guy, no nonsense. hahahaha feels abit weird to say that here.

But I believe as long we don't cheat, steal or hurt others, just do what you want

[abugga]

And to boot about my ex girlfriend, I told her time and time again I have a lot emotional baggage from the past, that she should be patient even if I seem to be hard to handle.

Sigh, if she can't help me, it's okay. But instead she added on to the trauma.

I am determined to do it this time by myself, if I were to meet my future wife, I'd like to give her all the love she needs.
To be able to do that, I must first let go of my baggage, love myself, before I can love her.

As I said, I'm very serious when it comes to relationships, I don't "makan" outside, I would never cheat or play people's feelings.

Knowing the pain from past experiences (twice), I'd never let someone I love experience it with me.

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by abugga

Any idea how to mindfully not let it affect me subconsciously? The last thing I want to do is to hurt my future girlfriend/wife because of these happenings.

Depending on your faith and religion, you can seek advice from your teacher

[abugga]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

Depending on your faith and religion, you can seek advice from your teacher

Alright, thanks. It's nice to see helpful and kind people here to aid others.

I foresee it'd be a long and arduous road, but I have to be patient with myself

[Ichigo_Kurosaki]

Originally Posted by abugga

Alright, thanks. It's nice to see helpful and kind people here to aid others.

I foresee it'd be a long and arduous road, but I have to be patient with myself

No offense and don't mind me cos I can only 指点迷津, 拨正思路 and 点到为止. 不能扶着走路

[abugga]

Originally Posted by Ichigo_Kurosaki

No offense and don't mind me cos I can only 指点迷津, 拨正思路 and 点到为止. 不能扶着走路

Wakata. I understand. Have a good day mate