Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, what you have encountered is what i have heard and seen thru my years in HCMC. I do agree with you that a lot of vietnamese ladies from HCMC and neighbouring provinces have the same mentality. They look at the present and near future to see what they can gain, long term seems too far away to be realised.

how come they look at present and near future and dare not think of longs term?

1) Seeing their living condition and state of the country, who would dare to dream of long term? Tomorrow have rice to eat or not also not sure.

2)The gals are just being practical for not seeing things in long term. What if it never happen? It will be a hard knock for them.

Originally Posted by ekemono

Well commented bro.
Because of such, sometimes we find it hard to understand them and may lead to misunderstanding.
We use to protrait a sensible person as one who thinks for long term and thus, some bros view them as lousy wifey quality. It is the cruel fact that it is in their blood, it is how their society had influenced them over the decades.

Like many senior had advice, making the consistence effort to change their mentality bit by bit is the key.., in fact the only key factor to a successful relationship. But of course, your own mentality must be for the better to start with.

1) We Sillyporean got to be grateful to be able live in a condition where it allows us to see the future.

2) if you love a person, do not try to change her to suit your needs. You got to love her for who she is. Understand her thinking and not to change her thinking. It is vice-versa. Once we really understand, we will be able to accept the true fact and live with it.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Mode

My ex-wife so-called was working in an advertising firm for an Amercian company as all of u know that if you met a girl in a decent place must be a good girl.

The whole marriage last for 2 years as I got married after 1.5 years of together. Vietnamese girl dosent believe in long term of marriage even how you provide her with $ or love.

Decent place do not means you can get good girls. indecent place do not means you cannot find good gals.

For example, Sillypore gals in decent working places may be fooling behind ones back and will be revengeful enuff to get as many things form you when you dicvorce.

It all boils down to the character of the person.

I think that Vietnamese girl, having asian roots do believe in long term marriage...

[69ASIMO69]

Any bros here can advise? I am married last month, currently we are applying for the Long Term Visit Pass. It should be out by end of this month. Auguest we are going back to Vietnam to attend a wedding dinner. Must my wife buy a return ticket to Vietnam when we r back in singapore airport in order to gain entry even though we had an ROM cert from Singapore?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Mode

After reading most the pages, i would just like to make some little comments here.

Getting a Vietnamese life partner, u gotto to understand their culture - yr life partner culture and their families culture. it's seem silly for mi to say that but it's truth especially gals from HCMC. I got married a gal from HCMC where her hometown is in danang, the beach resort which drive up nearly 10 hours from HCMC. My ex-wife so-called was working in an advertising firm for an Amercian company as all of u know that if you met a girl in a decent place must be a good girl.

-----------

My advice was just be careful if you decided to make a vietnamese as your lift partner. Knowing their culture is a must cuz most of the girls especially in HCMC have the same thinking that they want the present and not the future.

Thank you for sharing.....sian ah...another 2 bad examples of Vn gals...why always bad news...when can we have good blissful news or posts...

We need more Cassanova03 and SingViet examples la........

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

I think that Vietnamese girl, having asian roots do believe in long term marriage...

Bro, i think you better be married to a vietnamese for a number of years first before you make this statement. No offense, but like i say before, you won't know how marriage to a vietnamese is like till you have experienced it yrself. Meeting once a month is sweet, but meeting everyday for a long period of time will be a different story. Its like your former marriage, before you marry the gal, she is always sweet and nice and the most wonderful lady in your life, after marriage and staying together, its a different story.

[SING_IN_HCMC]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, i think you better be married to a vietnamese for a number of years first before you make this statement. No offense, but like i say before, you won't know how marriage to a vietnamese is like till you have experienced it yrself. Meeting once a month is sweet, but meeting everyday for a long period of time will be a different story. Its like your former marriage, before you marry the gal, she is always sweet and nice and the most wonderful lady in your life, after marriage and staying together, its a different story.

Fully agreed.

Many Vn gals I met, byw, all claimed they had broken off with boy friends because they were not prepared to get married. Also, most had no prob with premarital sex. So much abt being Asians.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by 69ASIMO69

Any bros here can advise? I am married last month, currently we are applying for the Long Term Visit Pass. It should be out by end of this month. Auguest we are going back to Vietnam to attend a wedding dinner. Must my wife buy a return ticket to Vietnam when we r back in singapore airport in order to gain entry even though we had an ROM cert from Singapore?

i am not sure of recent policies, but from what i know, showing marriage certificate and explaining to the officer that you are waiting for LTSVP should gain yr wife entry without returning ticket. But i do remember that some years ago when i applied for LTSVP for my wife, the ICA officer told my wife that its better not to leave the country before the LTSVP is approved.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by SingViet

i am not sure of recent policies, but from what i know, showing marriage certificate and explaining to the officer that you are waiting for LTSVP should gain yr wife entry without returning ticket. But i do remember that some years ago when i applied for LTSVP for my wife, the ICA officer told my wife that its better not to leave the country before the LTSVP is approved.

Yes better chance but still need to show that you have good income to support your wife...

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Yes better chance but still need to show that you have good income to support your wife...

yes you are right. Those things have passed long time roi, my wife has been Singapore Citizen for more than a year roi

[69ASIMO69]

Tks for the advise given by Bro Singviet and Bro Hurricane. The letter arrived today. My wife got an 1 yr LTSVP. . . for the info of other bro here.... I'm 26, my wife is 23. last few yrs after ord in 2006, keep switching job and not consistent in CPF contribution. But since last yr I started working at an MNC and since then I have gd track of CPF contribution. When applying for the LTSVP, documents needed is 3 yrs tax return. I have been worrying because last time not fixed job for long period so no need for delcaring tax. Last yr tax just declared but not yet receive return. only submit IR8A form issued by my company for applying and got 1 yr pass on first attempt. Thanks God. Advise to bro here, I guess they are looking at CPF contribution whether consistent rather then u declare tax high high by yr own and not by company IR8A declaration. Just my 2cts advise....

Can bros here advise? I booked the appt for july to submit for PR application. I'm married in May, June got my LTSVP... July submit application for PR, is it too fast? I have ask the officer at ICA, they told me there is no need to wait. I can submit immediately as long as we have the ROM cert. Will it be a 80% reject possibilty to submit so fast since i'm just married? If I am not wrong, submit for PR application is 70 bucks rite, if most likely reject, I rather wait for some time rather then waste it.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by 69ASIMO69

Tks for the advise given by Bro Singviet and Bro Hurricane. The letter arrived today. My wife got an 1 yr LTSVP. . . for the info of other bro here.... I'm 26, my wife is 23. last few yrs after ord in 2006, keep switching job and not consistent in CPF contribution. But since last yr I started working at an MNC and since then I have gd track of CPF contribution. When applying for the LTSVP, documents needed is 3 yrs tax return. I have been worrying because last time not fixed job for long period so no need for delcaring tax. Last yr tax just declared but not yet receive return. only submit IR8A form issued by my company for applying and got 1 yr pass on first attempt. Thanks God. Advise to bro here, I guess they are looking at CPF contribution whether consistent rather then u declare tax high high by yr own and not by company IR8A declaration. Just my 2cts advise....

Can bros here advise? I booked the appt for july to submit for PR application. I'm married in May, June got my LTSVP... July submit application for PR, is it too fast? I have ask the officer at ICA, they told me there is no need to wait. I can submit immediately as long as we have the ROM cert. Will it be a 80% reject possibilty to submit so fast since i'm just married? If I am not wrong, submit for PR application is 70 bucks rite, if most likely reject, I rather wait for some time rather then waste it.

Its not difficult to get LTSVP. The main hurdle for vietnamese spouse is PR application, followed by Citizenship application. Actually, you can apply for PR straight after getting your LTSVP. There's no need to wait. What ICA look for is the ability of the husband to feed the foreign spouse. They will look at many things and areas, mainly education qualifications, monthly income, consistency of income , record of foreign spouse etc. For brothers who are self employed like me, declaring high income is not much use, it must be supported by medisave contribution (6% of total income before age 35) and also income tax payment. If at the time of your application for LTSVP or PR, you only have one or two years of income tax and medisave/CPF record, you need not worry if you have official letter from your company certifying your employment with the company or your business license if you are self-employed.

The idea is simple, if you want to marry foreign spouse, prove to the government that you can support her (if she is not highly educated). Show consistency in income

[David_Villa]

Originally Posted by 69ASIMO69

Will it be a 80% reject possibilty to submit so fast since i'm just married? If I am not wrong, submit for PR application is 70 bucks rite, if most likely reject, I rather wait for some time rather then waste it.

I hv a friend who did not apply LTSVP, but straight away apply for PR for his viet spouse. He waited about 4 months and get the PR.

On top of regular CPF contribution, IMHO the ICA is looking at whether the marriage is it geniune. My friend is a civil servant so the ICA will have more trust on him.

[Kualalumpur]

Originally Posted by Mode

After reading most the pages, i would just like to make some little comments here.

Getting a Vietnamese life partner, u gotto to understand their culture - yr life partner culture and their families culture. it's seem silly for mi to say that but it's truth especially gals from HCMC.

May I dare to be a little bit harsh? I think their main problem is a LACK of culture, not a culture to understand. When I listen to the little kinds of 7 years old joking about money, Dat Qua, etc... and even in restaurants the couples, the families, love to talk about the money, too expensive, that guy paid too much, he has been cheated. Same speech, relentlessly, restlessly.

To get a proper VNese wife, you have to take her not too old, and teach her from the ground that money is not the center of the Universe, and that everything has a financial value, of course but as well an emotional, cultural value. They do not understand usually, even in mid-high class families, the cultural value. From that, everything is corrupt in their minds, because everything is related to the money.

The whole marriage last for 2 years as I got married after 1.5 years of together. Vietnamese girl dosent believe in long term of marriage even how you provide her with $ or love.

You are wrong, there is NEVER ever enough $ no matter her family wealthyness. It is part of many families education. Jump to the next, and to the next... Canadians VK were said to be more and more wealthy, therefore a good prey, and there has been a fashion to drop the local VNeses for a Canadian VQ some years ago, in the early 2000's.

Now it has changed for Germans VK and US VK.

Of course, they will never speak about the money matter, but that's the key point in their lives for many.

which last oso another 2 years. Last year she was re-married again to a local Pure Vietnamese which is just a odd-job worker for a Japanese Construction Company. She gave birth to a kid that belongs to the VQ and the kid follow the father instead to the mother cuz most of the divorcing cases, the mother would not want the kid.

Yep, Japaneses companies were said to be very easy to cheat, rightfully if you look at the ODA stories thoses last few months, so VNeses working for such companies were said to be potentially very wealthy very soon. Prooved to be wrong, but anyway.

The child story is maybe common in HCMC, but in Hanoi it is the opposite, they choose the husband to feed the kids and the parents. Note that the kids do not, and will never, belong to the father in most families. The father is there to pay and arrange everything, that's all.

Her wife had been keeping a man behind him and even let the man in to his house for the FJ. When she was confront by many of us, the wife just dun bother to have any explanation and leave the hse.

Extremely common story. I do not know any VN/foreigner couples in VN where there has never been such stories. VN wives of foreigners are not very serious if they have the chance to stay in VN, believe me on that. There has always been in the people I know a VNese "Tinh Yeu" behind, sometimes just waiting for his hooker/sweet wife to extract this and that from the foreigner, or just for FJ. Some couples accept and life must go on, especially if you are trapped with kids, others just collapse.

Apparently in HCMC, they can drop the kids, but in Hanoi, they keep the kids and throw away the husband if they have opportunity for a better one. I even got the joke happening to 2 of my friends during pregnancy. Gal pregnant 5-6 months, went back to her family, did not want to sleep with her husband, born the baby, then a year later court, divorce...

One of the favorite gals statements when they have divorced is to say their husband has been out with prostitutes, or unfaithful. They will spread that all around especially if the husband is a foreigner, and he has no chance to fight back if he does not speak vietnamese.

Originally Posted by SING_IN_HCMC

Bro, cam on.
Yes, I alos know that Vn gal are fiercely loyal and cannot accept their man to lie. But I when I saw her, I was like...wow, this is a cute chick who is also intelligent.

You are completely wrong about fiercely loyal, especially to a foreigner. But as a foreigner you cannot find out by yourself. VN gals rarely tell you the truth.

Second, if she is clever, she can keep you on hold, and take whatever she can out of you, even so called friendship, chinese lessons, whatever little or big as long as it is not costly for her in a way or another and drop you later. Never mistake about that, and keep your eyes wide open, they can play a lot to get little.

From my experience, you can be really stunned at the sophisticated schedule some gals and men actually in VN can do to cheat you of nearly nothing.

Some even from rich families can even play around you, kiss you, say that maybe one day they will like to be your girlfriend, just to get invitations to exhibitions or shitty cheap things. I got burned a couple of times before understanding that.

At the KFC last year, near my office, they gave tickets for 20 per cent discount for the new opening of a KFC in Hanoi. You had women with deluxe cars + drivers and their kids, fighting and waiting for hours to get the discounted KFC tickets for next week opening. Maybe worth 2-3US.

And do not mistake, most Vietnameses are far, far walthier than any Singaporean. You would be surprised, they will never show it up right in front of you, especially in Hanoi.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Kualalumpur

And do not mistake, most Vietnameses are far, far walthier than any Singaporean.

Thank you for sharing...I am not sure if I agree to your statement above...after reading your forum, I felt that you are completely against Vn gals..maybe you are speaking from your past experiences...

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by Kualalumpur

And do not mistake, most Vietnameses are far, far walthier than any Singaporean. You would be surprised, they will never show it up right in front of you, especially in Hanoi.

I disagree with u on this.... Not most, it is just a small portion, who are damn rich....

How rich can a normal viet be, where a waitress/waitress earn 1-2mil a mth. Where a fresh engineer earns 200-300usd per mth.