Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Osama]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Friend: “She come Sillypore to work in JC before leh…..may go lam tinh many times liao.. you still want such gal meh”
ME: “I belief that she come here work becoz she see her friend can earn so much in Sillypore and she wanted to release the burden off her parents. I belief that she never go lam tinh to earn money, just sit and chat with customer or let so guys touch touch only…I belief she is a good girl”

Friend: “She maybe working in same line in Viet and you dun know”
ME: “she told me she works in shopping center as sales girl. She actually knows that working in massage parlor can earn more money, but her parents and me will be unhappy, so she rather earn less than let people around her be sad….I belief her”

I think it's unrealistic for you to have this belief that she is still this pure innocent gal. If you intend to carry on this relationship, you must be prepared and able to accept she is doing or might have done or else this will never work.

I'm not saying that it can't be true...NOBODY can...there might be ppl who tell you that they have seen them all...but NOBODY can be say that they are 100% sure unless they have seen with their own eyes or things like that. Anything else will be based on stereotypes and PERSONAL experiences.

PERSONALLY I feel that this sex thing is more of a mind set. Guess we are still not "open" enough. In the west, guys are willing to share their gf with their buddy and all sorts of funny stuff they can think of. Remember the recent case where WLs were being killed in England?? One of their BF came out and said that he will shoot the killer himself. Yes...ppl will say these gals have no morals and things like that....but how many of us guys go to work every day giving up our diginity...moral...just to make a living?? How often must give up our self respect just to please the bosses...the cilents...lie and do whatever it takes to clinch a deal...to earn that commission...I'm sure what I have just said can be argued till the end of time but I'm going to leave it as that...as these are just my own PERSONAL opinions and I'm not going to force it down your or anybody's throat.

Thus you have to ask yourself, are you able to handle the ugly truth should there be any. Are you able to accept that she might have traded the only thing she have for money?? There are husbands here who F a different gal every week and can still say that "Oh...I have sex with them...but I make love to my wife because I only love her." Guys might find this kind of behaviour acceptable...like I said it's all about mindset. If you read the earlier posts...you will realise that the burden these young gals have might be something which even us have not experienced when we were their age. If you can and is willing to accept because you two really "love" each other...then I say go right ahead!! Like any relationship...there is no certainty. Your pure SG GF might 1 day meet a richer guy and dump you as well. Just approach it with caution...never put in a 100%...do everything within your limit and you will be safe.

Of course there's always a chance that she is just out for your money....and all that kind of stuff...go look around the forum...these kind of opinions are everywhere BUT if you look carefully...these kind of opinions always come from the same group of "elites". The people who have seen EVERYTHING. Do take what you see in this forum as only a guideline and make your own judgements. You might think you have seen what ALL the men in SG have experienced...but in fact..these are only the experiences of what 1000...5000 ppl?? And the handful of ppl who actively post their same opinion over and over again.

Sorry to the threadstarter if this post is a little off topic...but everytime I see stereotypes and 1 sided opinions...I will have this urge to stick my nose in... I'm sure you guys will do the same thing if some gals started a thread and say "ALL guys in singapore are unromantic...don't know how to please a woman like an ang mo." and it's because these handful of gals...met what...50...100 SG guys who are like that...and they try to tell the gals who read the thread that what they say applies to ALL SG guys!!

[raiders]

Hi all, been reading so much about the experience of brothers here. I find it very strange that .Singapore men kept looking for GF/wife/love in Joo Chiat, pubs or even marriage agencies. Its so cheap to travel to Vietnam now. Just spend 1-2k, take a plane stay there for a few weeks, visit those provinces and Im sure by the end of the trip, you can have a few good girls to choose from.

Alot of brothers like to find love in JC. Lets be realistic. Once these girls knew how easy it is to earn money using their bodies, can they still accept a common life? There is a Chinese saying, " In a gambling den, there is no family ties even between father and son. In a brothel, there is no true love"

There are also alot of brothers spending alot of unneccessary money on Marriage Agencies. In my opinion, many girls (not all, I repeat, MANY)from these agencies are those who have "seen it all, done it all" types. Again, put yourself in the shoes of these girls. If you are really simple minded, pure and innocent, will you take the risk of leaving your family and go overseas, stay there and face the risk of being taken out by men on the pretext of "Testing the marriage"? For me, I won't.

It is really not difficult to just take a plane and go to Vietnam to live for a few weeks. If anyone is genuinely interested, just ask a few of the brothers here, they will share loads with you. And of course, like what brother Singviet mentioned, dont asked those people who said they have been to VN many times but when asked, can only mention ho Chi Minh as the destination. Ask those who are seasoned travellers in Vietnam.

[KangTuo]

Originally posted by SingViet

Bro,

Sorry if i am going to sound discouraging. My few years in vietnam has seen me meeting up a few forum bros who face the same problem as you and they also visited the viet gal in vietnam.

Firstly, she has been banned from coming back to Singapore for 3 years. So this means that you can forget about marrying her for the next 3 years in Singapore. Even after 3 years, its very difficult for her to get any pass to stay in Singapore as she's black listed. If she tells you that she can change passport, you can also forget it as ICA uses finger print system now, there';s no way to hide.

Secondly, i find it difficult to believe that you actually believe that she will work as sales gal in Vietnam? Do you know how much a sales gal earn in Vietnam? She can be very lucky if she can earn around 1 million VND a month, which is S$100. Since she has come to Singaopore to work before as working lady, it means that she and her family are in need of money. Will she really forsake the prospect of earning 10 to 12 million VND a month (S$1000 to $1200) to work as sales gal? You think for yourself.

Thirdly, you believe that she never go lam tinh in Singapore with other customers? How much can she earn by just chatting with customers? $50 to $60 a night? If she just want to earn $50 a night, she might as well stay in Vietnam. Let's take for example, she earns $50 a night and she's here for 2 weeks (14 days), after 14 days her earnings will only be S$700. Minus off her air ticket of US$200 ($200 x 1.55= $310), she will only earn S$390. No need to eat and room rental? Such small sum of money can be easily earned in Ho Chi minh City. Bro, don't be blinded by sex, If she can lam tinh with you, she will surely lam tinh with other customers.

Bro, i have seen too many Singapore man kanna conned by these Joo Chiat working gals. And the way they use to con Singapore man never changes. Its always the same old tricks. Wake up and think with your brains, not with your small bro. I may sound rude and discouraging, but these are truths that i have seen.

Bro SingViet, indeed you sounds discouraging.

I have no intention to marry so soon, so waiting 3 years is okay for me. This will also allow me sometimes to find out more and understand her. If she cannot wait, that’s too bad. If I really wanna marry her, I may not get her to Singapore to marry. From my trip to Vietnam, I kind of like the place as it is more lay back. Hopefully my brother business has picked up and we will work there and stay there for good.

I choose to belief that she work as sales girl so that I will not worry too much. The mistake for this trip is that I never go to the shopping mall she work in to confirm whether its fact or fiction. She told me she earn $4,000,000 VND/mth..that is about S$400. She say to me before that she do wish to earn more money by working in massage parlor or come to Singapore to work, but everyone in the family disapprove and will be sad, including me. So she gave up the idea and simply worked in shopping mall.

From info I gather, some girls in JC and GL pubs do earn about $100-$150/night by just chatting up customer if they butterfly a lot and ask for tips quickly. 2 weeks stay in Sillypore can earn S$1400 minimum, minus off $200 lodging and $300 airticket, $100 on food, take back is still double (S$800)of what she earn in 1 month in Vietnam. Anyway she also never offers to lam tinh with me when she was here, so I believe she don’t lam tinh with customer. Not every Viet gal who comes here is to offer sex services….

Sometimes I am thinking if I am the one conning her or she is conning me. My gal always tell me not to go JC, but actually I still chiong paramaount, JC and KTV for pinoys and other sexy viet gals and big boobs and killer body. In fact I have 2 pinoys and 1 viet gal in still in Singapore who I am seeing. These 3 are only ‘sex object’. All 4 treat me like b/f and ong xa, but she is the only 1 who touched my heart…. I find and feel that she is a good girl, so I continue contacting her to see if there can be future development. I am not blinded by sex as her body and face does not appeal to me. She is plain looking and only A-cup. Its just that her heart is good. There are really more beautiful and sexy Viet gals easily available in Gossip/Valcano whom see already, 'bro' also stand….even one of the reception in DaiNam hotel.

Anyway I will be going HCM very often from now on…not only for her but also for my brother business… so I can take this opportunity to understand her before I make a decision.

Ps: talking about the receptionist in DaiNam ….young, single and available… father always rides her to and from work…speaks English very well…confirmed not a WL…hhhmmmm.

[KangTuo]

Originally posted by Osama

I think it's unrealistic for you to have this belief that she is still this pure innocent gal. If you intend to carry on this relationship, you must be prepared and able to accept she is doing or might have done or else this will never work......

PERSONALLY I feel that this sex thing is more of a mind set. Guess we are still not "open" enough......

Thus you have to ask yourself, are you able to handle the ugly truth should there be any. Are you able to accept that she might have traded the only thing she have for money??.....

Bro Osama, I never think that she is a pure and innocent gal. I am prepared to accept that she did sleep with others (her previous b/f) before she knows me.... but I may not be able to accept that she trade sex for $. If i ever find out that she trade sex for $, i will defintely end the relationship.

Truthfully speaking, i am a horny guy who always goes JC/paramount/Ktv to hunt for gals and try to charm them into falling for me. I share the gals (excluding her) i managed to sian with my chiong kaki and buddies who are always my saliva and sperm brothers.

I know it is unfair for my viet gal.... but i am a guy who need love and sex. She give me love, other give me sex. Everyday eat fried rice also sian...sometime must change to eat noodle or porridge..

In another way, I dun know will she handle the ugly truth if she found out the real me.

All in all... she is still the only gal who touched my heart... the only gal who i find love in at the moment....

[milfmilf]

It is really not difficult to just take a plane and go to Vietnam to live for a few weeks. If anyone is genuinely interested, just ask a few of the brothers here, they will share loads with you. And of course, like what brother Singviet mentioned, dont asked those people who said they have been to VN many times but when asked, can only mention ho Chi Minh as the destination. Ask those who are seasoned travellers in Vietnam.[/QUOTE]

May I know what to do during that few weeks stay in Vietnam in order to find sufficient targets and eventually someone that I will be genuinely interested?

ever check with the marriage agency about 2 years back if I can tag along one of their marriage tour to viet and go through the motion. The cost quoted was $3000+ for about 6 day stay.

Any bro plan to go vietnam to look for potiental wife? I would like to join in. At least to kick start else heading nowhere.

[GLHunter]

May I know what to do during that few weeks stay in Vietnam in order to find sufficient targets and eventually someone that I will be genuinely interested?

ever check with the marriage agency about 2 years back if I can tag along one of their marriage tour to viet and go through the motion. The cost quoted was $3000+ for about 6 day stay.

Any bro plan to go vietnam to look for potiental wife? I would like to join in. At least to kick start else heading nowhere.[/QUOTE]

i think its good to form your own group to find it yourself. try forming a group here & see if have any vietnam dating website.

i found my thai gf online, met in bangkok, things went well till today. Things are better if you QC it yourself. Dun leave it to the marriage agency unless there is no way out, its meant for a lifetime.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Osama

Sorry to the threadstarter if this post is a little off topic...but everytime I see stereotypes and 1 sided opinions...I will have this urge to stick my nose in... I'm sure you guys will do the same thing if some gals started a thread and say "ALL guys in singapore are unromantic...don't know how to please a woman like an ang mo." and it's because these handful of gals...met what...50...100 SG guys who are like that...and they try to tell the gals who read the thread that what they say applies to ALL SG guys!!

Bro, no worries. I will think that this thread is not off topic as i am not sterotyping anything. I am just asking bros who have vietnamese wives to share their experience. We are discussing about GENERAL trends but of course, there are others that are on either side of the spectrum. Until recently, a few of us bros who have vietnamese wives are still discussing about some problems we faced, until it started to dirft to the JC gals topic. I have asked bros to share their experience and it should be all sided.

To be true, i have seen happy and blissful marriages between working gals in vietnam and singapore guys. But the difference in culture do give rise to this topic as bros share their experiences and try to give advise to other bros facing the same problem. I am not an ELITE and neither am I a person that knows EVERYTHING. I am just sharing my 4 years of experience in vietnam and my life with vietnamese spouse. This will be at least much more than another lao jiao forumer who thinks he knows EVERYTHING about Vietnam- HCM although he was just there for a year. (Look to the International Field Reports)

Thanks for taking the time to come into this thread and share your ideas and thoughts. Greatly appreciated Bro. Cheers

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by SingViet

i was walking around Golden Mile the other day, checking out the vietnamese gals at the marriage agencies. After hearing so much about them, couldn't help but to take a peep. To Singaporean man, these gals at the marriage agencies are supposed to be simple province gals. But to my surprise finding, they are modernly dressed and have good make up and dress sense. They dress in tight tops and jeans, showing off their curvy figures. I even saw a few big busted and modern looking vietnamese gals. From my experience, these are surely not direct from the province. They should have been in the city for sometime.

`Anh Oi' called out a lady who has just walked out of the ladies restroom. I turned back and saw someone familiar. YES!! she's someone i used to know in HCM City. To better surprise, i spent one night with her before in 2003 in HCM City. She's one of the ladies i picked up at one of the massage palour in 2003 in HCM City. Can't blame the marriage agency on this, they also do not know the gal's background. They depend solely on the Vietnamese middle man. So bros, you got to be more careful when picking a bride, unless you are not bothered about her being very skillful on the first day of marriage

Is true that the gals at the golden mile tower wear quite sexy, they don't look like from the village. I ever went into the marriage agency, and hv a chat wif the agency boss. i ask the boss if these gals are virgins, the boss told me i hv to ask the gals myself! if going thru agency for marriage better go to vietnam personally. i think the agency at the pearl centre should be better one compared to golden mile, becos singaporean men will travel to vietnam to select potential brides that are working in the shoe factory.

[raiders]

Originally Posted by milfmilf

May I know what to do during that few weeks stay in Vietnam in order to find sufficient targets and eventually someone that I will be genuinely interested?

ever check with the marriage agency about 2 years back if I can tag along one of their marriage tour to viet and go through the motion. The cost quoted was $3000+ for about 6 day stay.

Any bro plan to go vietnam to look for potiental wife? I would like to join in. At least to kick start else heading nowhere.

Brother, there are many many things to do. Few weeks also not enough. Lets just divide VN in North (Hanoi), Central (Danang) and South (Ho Chi Minh). For example, if I decide to go to Central area. I can spend a few days in Danang and a few days in each of those neighbouring provinces. Those places includes Hue, Bana, Hoi An, Quang Ngai. Spend a few days in each province. You are sure to meet alot of girls. Where are the places in these cities to meet nice girls? Very simple. There are many cafes around Vietnam, many factories that produces hand make things for tourists (Hand make paintings, straw mats) If you see any girls you like, just approach them and say "HI" If they can speak some English, it is a good start. Take the chance to know them, invite them out for lunch or dinner. The 1st time might not be a single date with her. Maybe with her friends. But its a good start. How to proceed from there, Im sure you know. Just a word of advice. If you really like this girl, don't try to be naughty. Respect her and you will win her heart.

[KangTuo]

Originally posted by SingViet
Until recently, a few of us bros who have vietnamese wives are still discussing about some problems we faced, until it started to dirft to the JC gals topic. I have asked bros to share their experience and it should be all sided.

Sorry bro, don't mean to drift to JC gals topic... its just that becoz i know my viet gf in JC. I am in two minds of whether this relationship is worth continuing, so i come here to seek advice and search for anwer.

I see that most bro with viet wife/gf faces problems with them asking to send $ back for this and that... Anyway from the day i know her, i already keep telling her that i am not a rich person and can only afford minimum things for her. I also tell her i save like crazy just to go vietnam to see her. Hope she is not after my $ afterall...i think i need to continue educating my gf about $.

Alot bro are saying that viet gal think of their parents/family before their husband/bf. Is it reallly true or just stereotyping? Will the new generation viet gal be different in their thinking?

3 reasons makes me wonder if she put me 1st before her family.

1) Because when i visited my gf for 8 days, she tell her family she goes Dalat with friends but infact she accompany me throughout my stay in HCM. She also bribed her younger sister to tell lies to her parents by lending her the motorcycle.

2) When i know my gf, she dun know English at all. But when i told her that she need to learn english to communicate with me, she took up english class 3 times a week. Now we are able to chat thru msn (cheapest way of keeping in touch) and speak mixture of english and viet.

3) 1st 3 days in Vietnam, i have been having lots of fun and spending alot with my buddies, when they return to Sillypore, my gf tries to save money for me by bringing me to cheaper eating house, bargaining for me when i buy things, looking for cheaper hotel for me...etc

[ssilverzoommer]

Originally Posted by milfmilf

It is really not difficult to just take a plane and go to Vietnam to live for a few weeks. If anyone is genuinely interested, just ask a few of the brothers here, they will share loads with you. And of course, like what brother Singviet mentioned, dont asked those people who said they have been to VN many times but when asked, can only mention ho Chi Minh as the destination. Ask those who are seasoned travellers in Vietnam.

May I know what to do during that few weeks stay in Vietnam in order to find sufficient targets and eventually someone that I will be genuinely interested?

ever check with the marriage agency about 2 years back if I can tag along one of their marriage tour to viet and go through the motion. The cost quoted was $3000+ for about 6 day stay.

Any bro plan to go vietnam to look for potiental wife? I would like to join in. At least to kick start else heading nowhere.[/QUOTE]

I am planning to go over maybe after CNY with one friends through a agency but it not comfirmed yet, roughly budget as below:

Whole package : $5K wo wedding dinner & 10K w everything
Ang Pao : $200~500 for the gals family members
Gold : Standard 四点金
Gals Checkup : Included (check virginity)
Duration : 5 days
Group of 2 to 3 person each trip so that agency can take good care of our needs.

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Sorry bro, don't mean to drift to JC gals topic... its just that becoz i know my viet gf in JC. I am in two minds of whether this relationship is worth continuing, so i come here to seek advice and search for anwer.

...

Hi bro KangTuo, 2 possibilities I just think about:

a) genuine love relationship (I hv my version to share too...but that's another problem/issue...haiz, can talk another time if we meet up)

b) "let long line, catch big fish" as Chinese saying goes...sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. But all the careful observations, thinking & talking MAY slowly reveal more truth (only a maybe..!)

Even then, lets say (a) is true - in the long run we have to understd the mindset & culture - in which I'm trying to learn from the senior bros here - that one has to 'support' her family side regardless in small or big way. Eventually, it may come... which I hope is controlled, not overly done. It's ok to share with close relatives, only it's not right to do it so often e.g. the situation one entry said : expecting two pay-days per month when we are working-hard to get one paycheck monthly... (generally, all S'porean work extra hard in the career; that's why need to go relax at the cheong places... look at the Thai, China, Indon or even M'sia - during office hrs you can still find lots of executives on the street...)

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by Osama

Sorry to the threadstarter if this post is a little off topic...but everytime I see stereotypes and 1 sided opinions...I will have this urge to stick my nose in...

Up You For Your Frank Post

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

but I may not be able to accept that she trade sex for $. If i ever find out that she trade sex for $, i will defintely end the relationship.

Hmm...I am not saying not a working girl is not a human...but as long she a working girl...% is one day she will trade sex for $....as SingViet Have Said...before that she may work in HCMC before as working girl...As the old people have said...."Huan Chang Wu Zhen Qing"...There is truth up to certain limits...

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by raiders

Lets just divide VN in North (Hanoi), Central (Danang) and South (Ho Chi Minh). [/COLOR]

I think central is Hue....