Do you still wanna bonk your wife?

[mr nice guy]

Originally Posted by TyLa_BaBy

masterdebater:
If it has been done, break hell also won't undo it what. Might as well calmly solve the issue right? We all have needs, if cannot get it at home, then no choice gotta eat outside what. It's all very matter-of-fact isn't it?
But here's wishing you never get caught! hahahaha.


mr nice guy:
I understand your intentions. No hard feelings.
From 9am to 10pm I'm already cultivating my kids lor. And I am somewhat proud to say they are well-balanced children who are generally well-behaved.
But after 10pm... it is time to stop being a mother, and start being a wife/woman. Time to do what I enjoy (ie: sex) and time to pay attention to my husband. Except... oh well, you know the story now, don't you?
I don't think any husband would enjoy it much if their wives only play the role of a mother all the time.

Today special case though. I'm feeling pek chek. Don't want to snap at the kids over my own questions/frustrations, so I'm minimising contact.

hmmm.wats pek chek?? anyways, talk to him tonite.. a BIG maybe is tat he is having problems at werk.. my wife aks me a lot of questions when she feels something is wrong.. im also a shy person.. even to my wife.. sometimes when my wife tease me, i will blush.. ahhahaha.. but after that the sex begins... heheheh..

so, u a stay at home mum?? same like my wife.. but, she will be werking soon.. i hope so.. hahahah..

well, me going home now.. will continue tomorrow.. im missing my wife and baby.. hehehehe.. take care guys and baby.. good luck tyla...

[Masterdebater]

Originally Posted by TyLa_BaBy

masterdebater:
He puts in effort, but its very obvious that it burns him out. And sex becomes a chore for him cos he is putting in extra effort for me. It's not a nice feeling for me to know that he's trying so hard that it becomes taxing. In long run, i think it'll kill his (already low) sex drive even more.

Actually I already strayed twice in this marriage. First time I told him outright. The 2nd time I told him 1.5 yrs later. It was not easy carrying the lie/guilt for so long. But in the end he told me... He's sorry. Because he really cannot match up to my needs, therefore I ended up eating outside.

I am also very lost, man.

I see that's why u r so logical! He's still with u so he loves u? Or the kids? Maybe he hasn't forgiven u totally. Sigh I really pity u. How can u stand the temptation not to eat outside again?

[TyLa_BaBy]

masterdebater:
I think my logic will be my downfall. Otherwise I would have either
a) divorce,
b) eat outside without guilt,
c) won't even marry him in the 1st place.

The only thing I ever did without logic was to marry him. I just followed my heart, and look where I ended up.

But logically this man is potential good husband/father material (and he has been so far), he's just not a good lover (in terms of frequency/variety). I just naively thought it would get better when we get more in sync, or my sex drive will wane off after having kids. But damn I was wrong. 5 years later I am still the same. Hahaha.

Got methods to decrease sex drive not??

[TyLa_BaBy]

mr nice guy:
Wah! You finish work so early?? I thought common is 6pm... U must be working for govt.

I sense something is not right with his work lah, but when he can't negotiate for higher pay, and work keeps coming in, ego deflated lah. I can't help also, except to take in freelance assignments (not FL sex hor!) and contribute a bit to household expenses.

Pekchek = frustrated.


masterdebater:
Oh, what can I say. I'm like a guy. Used to be a good thing when I was with other men. Hahaha.

The 1st time was before we had kids, so I guess he's still with me cos he really loves me? I just confessed the 2nd time to him last night. And all he said was sorry. That its not my fault. Makes me feel worse, but it's already done and I can't undo it.

I think when your partner say sorry to you when you eat outside, your guilt is so great, it is very hard to go and eat outside again lah. Unless you have no conscience lor.

[Masterdebater]

Sorry can't help u there. Get some dildos or vibrators? Maybe that will help u release some pent up energy.

I learnt something when I got married. Never ever get married thinking u can change the person. If u do then u r in for a huge huge shock. U can't. I learnt that about my wife. She is how she is. I must learn to live with her.

My friend's wife just left him because she couldn't change him. Just after 2 years she decided better bail first... So sad. Why get married in the first place?

With kids even tougher.

[relaxman]

well, all of you are better than me. I've been married for 20+years, beginning was good, almost twice a week. now almost 6month don't even have. her sex drive is very low . Lucky, I eat out every year (oversea) and rest of the time Pcc. l don't know, but i think i've very high sex drive.I'm 41

[Masterdebater]

masterdebater:
Oh, what can I say. I'm like a guy. Used to be a good thing when I was with other men. Hahaha.

The 1st time was before we had kids, so I guess he's still with me cos he really loves me? I just confessed the 2nd time to him last night. And all he said was sorry. That its not my fault. Makes me feel worse, but it's already done and I can't undo it.

I think when your partner say sorry to you when you eat outside, your guilt is so great, it is very hard to go and eat outside again lah. Unless you have no conscience lor.

[/FONT][/QUOTE]

That's so sad. I agree u can't but how to live your life not being yourself for the next 50 years? I can't imagine. Can u not do it again? Maybe now u won't but 2,3, 5 years later?

[TyLa_BaBy]

masterdebater:
Got dildos. Got vibrators. But nothing beats the human touch, esp from the person you love.
In fact, I've also grown immune to toys already.

I didn't think I could change him, not that I want to anyway. I just thought maybe after having more sex with each other, will be more in sync mah. So at least will feel horny at the same times and want to do the same thing, u know?

IN any case, wei, this is my 1st marriage leh, and you expect me to know I cannot change someone?? You should have told me before I got married what!! Hahahaha.

I just wanna try to make this work, so I'm wondering what's the situation like for other married couples. My female friends are so hush-hush about it, it's no help at all.

[TyLa_BaBy]

relaxman:
Eat out only once a year?! You can survive?!??!

I know men who are around your age with high sex drive also. If can, they would have it everyday!! I get quite envious of the women who have husbands like that. Hahaha.



masterdebater:
I don't know how I'm going to survive for the rest of my life like this, but I guess we just gotta try?
It's not like I don't love him anymore, but this is some serious shit that may lead to divorce lor. And I'm not looking forward to that outcome.

I can't promise I won't cheat in the near future, but I try lah. So far it's been 1.5 yrs since the last one, and the temptation is great again. MUST.RESIST.

[Kinetics]

Maybe your hubby is too stress at work and have lost interest in sex, it happened to me before and we have quarrel over it many many times....now that my work is better, we begin to have sex more frequent too...so frequent that my wife asked me what happened to me and have I gone crazy....

[Masterdebater]

So what u r saying is that u want to feel loved by him. Let me tell u either u change or he change. If he's not going to then the only person who can make it or break it is u. That's the reality.

U don't only want sex right? U also want the intimacy n love n to be special. R u getting that? Even if u eat outside does it satisfy u?

[richie_rich]

Originally Posted by TyLa_BaBy

I can't promise I won't cheat in the near future, but I try lah. So far it's been 1.5 yrs since the last one, and the temptation is great again. MUST.RESIST.

hi sis tyla, when you are done with this thread, maybe you might want to consider writing about this sexperience you had 1.5 yrs ago?

[relaxman]

what to do. she always at home. been retrenched for 1year leow. i only can have 1 time leave per year to go oversea with my kaki. now trying to get excuse for twice a year. ha ha praying hard.

[Masterdebater]

Haha I know a thing or two about temptation...Worse still u r a lady.. Pretty much snap yr fingers n men will fall in line...

Divorce...after seeing my friend go through it I'm stunned at how tough it is. But short term pain long term gain?

True maybe when work gets better it will get better

[TyLa_BaBy]

kinetics: I guess you are right. He is more open to ideas on weekends/holidays. Then I guess I have to wait for his work life to get better?
But I've been waiting 5 years already, not getting better leh, and my frustration is piling up.


masterdebater:
Eating outside doesn't satisfy me at all. But it at least gets the primal urges out of the picture, and I don't have to take cold shower every night.
Pray tell, how does someone change their sexual needs? If there was a pill to pop for decreasing sex drive, I'll be the 1st one to buy it. (Provided I can afford it.) I used to have sex at least every alternate day, now it's at best once a week. Longest we've gone without sex was 3 months. If that's not change/compromise, I don't know what is.

Intimacy wise, I guess it's alright. He always kisses me in the morning before he goes to work, and when he comes home. And we cuddle at bedtime everyday without fail. If he don't cuddle me he can't fall asleep. hahaha.
But sometimes cuddling will feel like taking things up a notch, but he won't be keen, which leaves me high and dry. I'd DIY, except I can go on for an hour and still get nothing but more frustration.