What should you do if your boyfriend can't satisfies your needs?

[Ladyvander]

Hey sorry if I am confusing anyone here.

Does having sex means I will be more turned on or that it will improve matters?

I feel the problem is not about having sex now or not. It is even when we are being intimate, heavy petting, neither do I climax nor do I feel the heat for more than 10 mins. Also to clarify, both myself and my bf are okay to not have sex for now.

I do know couples who are still virgin but they enjoy their physical intimacy very much. I feel as though I am the odd one out or there seem to be some missing sparks.

I hope this makes it a bit clearer?

[ch33zy]

communications is very important especially that you have a personal commitment to yourself and he is understandable towards that.. do find the opportunity to talk to each other truthfully about the sexual aspect, that way things will improve for the better..

[BiRd13]

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

Thanks everyone for the replies and advice. Really appreciate it.

Some facts to answer some questions I see:-

1. Nope my bf is not a priest, not gay and doesn't have erectile dysfunction. Haha. He is average looking, pretty good build but not those kind with six packs la. But yes, probably not very romantic, doesn't dirty talk well.

2. I think I am pretty average looking. Don't have the best figure / looks but do notice guys looking at me, coming up to chat with me to get my number (not just in clubs), get compliments from random strangers that I look good.

3. Unbelievable why no sex even after 3 years? For myself, it's because I want to remain a virgin till I am married. It's personal. There are people who are very surprised but not my closer friends. I have a few friends whom they had been together for 5 to 6 years but no sex in their relationship, only heavy petting but they seem to be very satisfied just through heavy petting.

For him, it's not an issue of his virginity. He just wanted to play safe. We started going out when we were just students and he was about to be enlisted. He knows that if I were to get pregnant then, we will be in big trouble since we won't have the financial ability to start a family.

I must say he is really responsible and I appreciate him for that. Now that both of us are working and he don't mind doing it, but I am the one who doesn't want to give it. He doesn't really know about this though. Didn't really tell him that I don't want to loose my virginity yet as he had never tried to really go all the way - if you know what I mean.

And we are each other's first partner whom we had gone into physical intimacy.

***

Every time when I feel like I don't seem to be fully satisfied, immediate thoughts of fulfilling it by hooking up with another guy will come to my mind. But once I sleep over it and comes the next day, I will feel very guilty and couldn't imagine I would actually bear such thoughts.

I don't want to make such a mistake.

Also it just doesn't seem right to be moving on to someone else when everything else seems to be working well in our relationship. We had already talked about marriage - but of cos we are not making concrete plans since we are still young and starting out in our careers.

I always ask myself - What if he's not the one for me? Is it possible that I am that 'lucky', my first bf becomes my husband - the one I am supposed to be with forever? Is sexual life really so important in marriage? Can a couple improve their sexual life to totally fulfill each other in that aspect?

Well. I don't find it weird that you don't want to lose your virginity... As I have friend (Girl) who have same mindset as you. To lose their virginity to their future partner only. I have friends who have 1st as their partner, and leads to marriage, and till now, still together =) So its still possible for one to reach till marriage/end =)

Sexual life is important in a rs... But whether you treat it as fuck or make love, depend on oneself =)

Seriously, you may want to cool down yourself, and started to think if there's any problem with you, yourself =) From the way you put it, you don't want to lose your virgin, yet can't find 'satisfaction' with bf, its still ok... But have the thoughts to get with someone? It's weird...

Or in other hand, maybe ask him to brush up his foreplay skill? Or its just that you hunger for a cock, instead of just fingers =)

[cumfast]

To TS,

1. Myth: Boyfriend does not like sex.
Fact: You have not yet seen the "dirty" and "naughty" side of him.

2. Myth: Boyfriend can't satisfy your needs.
Fact: Everyone started off as a virgin.

[octman]

Let nature takes it course....

[samster8899]

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

Had been together with current bf for almost 3 years. Had never had sex but we had already gone into heavy petting.

Now, the problem is this. I had never really felt like I am satisfied. Hardly ever turned on.

Most of the times I will just do what my bf wants me to do, like giving him HJ or BJ, etc...

Now I keep having worries about not being sexually compatible. I know it's a serious problem esp in a marriage.

I am only 22 yrs old and it seems like I hadn't tried and experienced so many things. I feel guilty that I have thoughts of hooking up with another guy so that I can be satisfied.

Feels very ashamed with such thoughts. :'(

What do you guys suggest I should do?

You should dump him and get another new bf

[cockenadan]

dear ts,

Did you ever ask your bf to give you a blowjob aka painting? i believe this might give your lusting to reach a greater height.

[Frankiestine]

Originally Posted by Alf1977

Ger, I read through your reasons n was even confused why you started this thread in the first place..

You said you don't want to give to your bf, yet complaint that your bf cannot satisfy your needs?? If you never give him the chance, how you know he can't satisfy you???

Yeah i think TS is confusing everyone now...firstly her post implies that her BF is not sextisfying but yet now she is saying she chose to remain virgin by choice....????

[TamKorSang]

When women are bothered by something, and when they DO verbalise it to the point of asking a question, the question might be purely rhetoric; they might not really be seeking an answer as much as they want the issue talked about or attention given to them.

I think this is the case here. TS isn't looking for an answer, but she wants to see the scenarios suggested and discussed here.

My 2 cts worth is communication, period. If you guys can't talk about ANYTHING, that includes your sexual preferences, then don't get married. If you don't wanna give away your virginity to him pre-marital, keep it. However, there might be silent expiries on commodities like virginities...beware.

Cheerios

[lvbz]

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

Had been together with current bf for almost 3 years. Had never had sex but we had already gone into heavy petting.

Now, the problem is this. I had never really felt like I am satisfied. Hardly ever turned on.

Most of the times I will just do what my bf wants me to do, like giving him HJ or BJ, etc...

Now I keep having worries about not being sexually compatible. I know it's a serious problem esp in a marriage.

I am only 22 yrs old and it seems like I hadn't tried and experienced so many things. I feel guilty that I have thoughts of hooking up with another guy so that I can be satisfied.

Feels very ashamed with such thoughts. :'(

What do you guys suggest I should do?

Hi TS.

i'm 21 yrs old. me and my gf had sex quite often during the start of the relationship. now getting lesser and lesser. maybe cos she started working. if you want it you gotta ask. girls that initiate are sexy.

i also had thoughts about hooking up with another girl. but its the guilt that made me haven't. but i know that she cheated on me before so less guilt if i cheat on her. anyway, if you're interested in having coitus, feel free to pm me.

[BiRd13]

Bros,

I think she meant is 'Foreplay' can't get sextified ba...

Originally Posted by Ladyvander

Hey sorry if I am confusing anyone here.

Does having sex means I will be more turned on or that it will improve matters?

I feel the problem is not about having sex now or not. It is even when we are being intimate, heavy petting, neither do I climax nor do I feel the heat for more than 10 mins. Also to clarify, both myself and my bf are okay to not have sex for now.

I do know couples who are still virgin but they enjoy their physical intimacy very much. I feel as though I am the odd one out or there seem to be some missing sparks.

I hope this makes it a bit clearer?

Hmm... Either:

a) his foreplay skill is not that good...
b) Or you have lost the intimate feeling towards him...
c) Cr you have problem in yourself...

1st thing to do,
Try fingering/masturbate yourself and see if you enjoy or feel 'high' for the so-call 10mins. If yes, means you got no problem in yourself, and perhaps its either (a) or (b)

Next, find a cool and quiet place and think over for yourself, if you have lost feeling in him... If answer is NO, then most likely leads to (a)

[carlsjw]

Try french kissing? It turns me and my gf on and it's how we start off before petting or sex.

[freezetheDB]

TS need to teach and educate her bf on what turns her on.

every boy starts off inexperienced. Need time and education to become the perfect lover (perfect is different for everyone)

[vohk]

TS, you said "Every time when I feel like I don't seem to be fully satisfied, immediate thoughts of fulfilling it by hooking up with another guy will come to my mind."

Well, no need to hook up with another guy and feel guilty. Just have sex with your bf and you will satisfied.

Since your virginity is important to you, why want to give to another guy who you think can satisfy you? Why can't you give it to your bf (whom you think you really want to give to) that will also satisfy you?

[some_]

sister i think you should really really talk to your bf