I caught my hubby

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I still won't accept prostitution though. You can't have that without sacrificing your commitment to your family. Time, money, attention, exposure to STD etc.. Well, unless I get to sleep around too but in that case, what's the point of staying married?

In NZ and much of the Western World, couples spice up their sex lives by swinging.

It enables couples to enjoy sexual variety without being cheaters.

[Uncle2015]

Originally Posted by hiswife

Thanks for the replies. Looks like many are of the opinions that looking for prostitutes are not a problem. I've a hard time telling whether the replies are from men or women though.

To the men, i would like to know: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, does your wife know OR do you think she will never find out? OR if she ever finds out, you will just divorce her if she does not accept that?

To fellow sisters out there: If you think that visiting prostitutes are ok, do you mean you do not mind your husband doing that OR do you think you don't mind but you think your husband will never do that?

TS, if this is kiasuparents.com, we will all join you to cruxify your husband or send him to hell. But this is SBF, where most members adopt pragmatic view towards pros, and it already happened. The last thing we would do is to drive you or your hubby up the tree by championing over "by right".

Originally Posted by hiswife

If you're horny, you need a release. I do get it. I'm horny and wasn't getting enough too. However, I do want to point out one thing. If you're not getting enough from your wife, perhaps you should try to talk to her first before going outside. I know many mentioned that the "wives" have not been treating them well. BUT have you been treating your wife well too? Did you ask " Wife, what can I do to make your day better?"

You are saying the textbook model answer, which is completely right. But in real life, some people sway a bit.

At the end of these exchanges, pls "invite" your hubby to consult a proper counselling session. You already given him enough face by not broadcasting to the whole world. Maybe add a bit of threatening that the STD risk not just can pass to you but also your children since you are in close contact day to day.

[bluetooth]

OP should get a divorce. period. A man who cheats can cheat again.

[AADD]

seems like damage is already done...sex couple of times a year is already a bad sign of problem like a early stage disease now turn into fatal late stage...i can't really fault him in this case.

and from what you wrote i pictured you as someone very dominating against your husband eh? making him feel small...and you sounded very unattractive like prioritizing work over him and comes back demanding sex..

are both of you financially stable?

but...

is there anyone single reason that is keeping you trusting him? i mean he can do tons of mistakes but sometimes u just need that one reason to hold on right?

i mean i know a friend who "jiak cua" monthly but praises his wife all day and makes her feel loved. no sex though. the wife is bigger than the husband physically somehow. weird.

does your hubby don't give you enough attention outside of sex? makes you proud that you are hiswife etc? if not and you don't get anymore romance feel from him i suggest you move on...

do you guys have time for each other afterwork and stuff?

also how old are you and your husband? have kids?

how long have you couple been together? treat this like a poker game i guess..

the river cards is dumb as fuck and you got awful hands(prostitute)...you can fold(divorce) and lose it. or play til the last card and see the result. who knows u might end up winning(your husband changed).

btw, if your unattractive physically i suggest you go thailand/korea do some facelift/boobjob/nosejob/botox/assjob/whateverjob then maybe your husband might want u lots all night.

also, your husband shouldn't be watching alot of porn if your attractive. when i get enough sex i stopped masturbating entirely...so if he's masturbating....

sorry text is messed up coz i just write as i thought shit up.

[comm]

For a guy to stick to 1 woman sexually and vice versa, it definately needs emotions as a glue and also sufficent physical attraction

Each persons defination of sufficently attractive is different

Wadever it is, the physical body part of the equation can be address via exercise or even plastic surgery but i feel its unreasonable to expect the wife to do all this, unless of course the husband does it too so both can enjoy increased physical satisfaction with each others body.

[broessex]

As a married man, my reasons for whoring are simple - I don't get enough, if any, affection from my own wife.

I'm not just referring to sex, because that is just one aspect of any relationship. If all I wanted was just release, I can do it with my own hand. It's cheaper, takes far less time, and can be done in the comfort of my own home.

What drove me to seek comfort in the body of a whore, is not just for the sex (which will usually be better because, come on, they're professionals), but it's because these whores are usually more adapt at providing a caring, understanding environment for neglected men. I mean, really, the last thing I want to hear when I get home every night is about how I did not dry the plates properly or arrange the utensils in some made up pattern that is more pleasing to the eyes. Whores, on the other hand, you can unleash as much verbal diarrhoea as you can and you still get to shoot your load. It's like a hot therapist that you can bang, and forget the second you step out of the door. So why not?

A bro earlier up related a story about how his friend, despite having a pretty wife, still whores because all his wife does is yell at him everyday. I mean come on, are we as husbands to be treated as dogs/slaves after marriage? We're still human! We want to be loved, appreciated, understood and not treated as just an ATM or punching bag when you're not satisfied with something minute.

My wife is also probably above average when it comes to looks, comes from a well to do family, but if sex and money is all there is to marriage, then get me the fuck out of here, because that's the exact same thing that's involved in a whore-customer engagement.

[Canaries]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

There's no right or wrong here. I see the problem as you being the frog in the well. I suggest both you and your hubby go for a holiday together in a nudist camp or swingers resort to open up your mind. Usually after a holiday in one of these places..... your perceived problem is actually not a problem at all unless you choose to make it be.

[zenith123456]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

Im sorry, what is wrong with commercial sex? Men need variety. Its biological. If he can surpress it, its just mind over body. Most cant. You can feel sickened and end ur marriage, but unless you can guarantee your next hubby is saintly, sorry but to a man, body (lust) wins over mind most of the time. I suggest you work it out with him. Set boundaries for acceptable cheonging behaviour. Im sure u fell in love with bim not for hia dick, do you probably can accept that his dick doesnt belong to you. As long as he remains emotionally faithful? Thats just mu 2 cenys. Doesnt apply yo everyone. But to each his own

[maxsee]

I think end of the day it depends on who u married....If it is one of those that place great emphasis on Sex...then G_G for u....there are some friends of mine...that place more emphasis on the quality of life etc etc....

So if u married the wrong person, there is nothing much u can do either....

[Vectra]

Originally Posted by maxsee

.then G_G for u....

What is GG btw?

[sta1100]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I've read many stories online where the wandering husband ended up never being truthful and never stopping their activities. It's so bad that it makes me question how my husband could be different. You said there're couples who've gone though such test and came out stronger, is it true? Are they happy now? Did the husband stop?

I can forgive but not forget. It hurts every time I think about it but I will stay as long as he remains faithful because I love him.

Did you ask yourself why he eat outside but not at home ??? Pls Don"t put all the blame into your man when I'am very sure there some fault in you !!

[formyeyesonlyV2]

Originally Posted by hiswife

I know this probably belongs to some women forum but I figure why not ask the men themselves.

Long story short, I found out that my husband has been seeing prostitutes in the last 2.5 years and flipped out. He said he's sorry and will not do that again. He's willing to let me monitor all his finance and online/phone activities.

I'm pretty sure my husband is not the first men to have been caught. To those who have been caught, did you really change?

I want to know whether I can trust him that he will not do that again.

My tought on this is that there could be a very high chance of him really coming out of it, reason being that if I put myself onto your husband's shoe its more convinient to just breakup if there is no Love. And after breakup there is no one to fear for!

So to be there is a very high chance he will come out of it and be truthful to you. Though you can forgive but not forget the past, do not poke then and there on the past and everythig will workout. Have Trust.

Cheers

[hiswife]

Thanks everyone for sharing your thoughts. I think it's clear to me that I would be considered a bi*ch by most here. Most want to have their cakes and eat it too. Many also seem to have "doormats" as wives. Yes, I said that. To me, any woman who can tolerate a man who frequent prostitutes are doormats.

When I was growing up, I witnessed first hand how my father's infidelity caused massive heartbreaks to my mom. They are no longer together, he left.

I was not around to see how my father-in-law mistreated his wife but I'm seeing the consequences now. It doesn't matter how well he's treating her now, nothing he does can fix the psychological problems that she has.

What I'm trying to say is that don't think that if your wife is closing one eye that she's not suffering. Or is it that you don't even care? My mom's generation stay in bad marriages because they didn't have the ability to leave. I'm glad I'm not trapped like that.

I too don't want my kids to grow up in a broken family but that will not stop me from getting a divorce. If that has to happen, I'll just tell my kids that it's too bad that their dad loves prostitutes more than them.

Some of you replied asking me to shut up and go back to the kitchen or to be careful not to push him or else he would divorce me. Really, do you think I'm afraid of that? I would sooner be single forever than to live with a whoring man. Really, do you think your wife is afraid of you leaving? Look at the divorce statistics.

I'll go back to the kitchen now. Meanwhile, keep whoring, get a divorce and give your wife 1/2 of your assets, and then live happily ever after with prostitutes.

[hiswife]

I know I'll catch flak from my previous post but that's how a wife thinks, if you care to know.

I also want to clarify that I've never said I'm blameless in the failure of the marriage. I have my faults, and so does he.

What I did said was that it's never my fault that he's seeing prostitutes.

[dustzee]

I just want to share my own experience. Man here

I strayed and I felt terrible. I talked to my wife about it. She was angry and upset and I knew I destroyed her world. I told her I wanted to change and I really needed her support right now. She decided to bite the bullet and helped me through it.

It wasn't easy, especially for her, but things started to change. The care and affection came back. We spent more time together. We rebuilt our relationship and now I don't want to stray again because now i remember i love her.

What I'm saying is TS, if your husband has shown he is changing, give him a chance to. If he doesn't show it, leave him.

All the best