am i cuckholded - Page 5

goodpartner · #61 31-01-2012, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joncheong

Kum xia to all senior bros as well as other sammybros who advised...

Perhaps i thought too much and for the time being i would give her the benefit of doubt... True nothing wrong fantasizing about hot bods... The fact that she has been a conservative girl and then gave her first time to me and moved in with me tells alot...

We did again yesterday and to my relief she didn't utter any name... Guess it was a one off event... Cheers will update u guys if got any

2 weeks later...

Quote:

Originally Posted by joncheong

To update all sammybuddies who have read my this thread...i have broken up with my gf...my fear was proven to be true....she had an affair for my buddy...

Then why move in with me.... her side of story was she fell for my buddy while in a r/s with me...perhaps due to their everyday interaction in office and he is a nice guy... she was confused and while living with me she wanted to test if she still had feelings for me...but once she confirmed that her feelings for me had died...she did things on purpose to make me hate her so that she would feel less guilty when i had enough of her and kicked her out... during cny..she did something bad to an elderly relative of mine.... when we got home i asked her why did she do it...she went ballistic and then broke down saying we should break up and she had fallen for my buddy...

i asked her so is it that she went to bed with him while in a r/s with me and was that the reason she moaned his name when having sex with me she said yes...i gave her two really tight slaps..... how could she be so cheap...i thought she is a really decent woman and at the same time if so why still have sex with me when she no longer had feelings for me...my heart really pained when she fell to the bed after i have slapped her and she didn't retaliate...but the betrayal was too hurtful... in the fit of anger..i just took out all the money i have withdrawn for the month and threw it at her to pay her for all the time she spent with me...

i am rush and i am no angel but i have really invested all my feelings in her and this is how she treated me...

Wow! What a drama... I'm quoting your entire post as a highlight to others on the turn of event in just 2 weeks. My heart goes to you bro!

Time to face your "buddy" if I were you; he needs more than 2 tight slaps!

d0itagain · #62 31-01-2012, 03:58 AM

heart goes out to you bro. though you lost 2 people in your life, I believe they dun deserve to be in your life for committing such an act anyway.

muscleboi · #63 31-01-2012, 07:31 AM

My heart goes to you, bro. You have given up your status as a cheongster just to be with her and yet she did all these (eg moving in with you) to test whether she still has feelings for you while cheating on you..this girl is not worth you sacrificing at all. She and your buddy won't last long too. If she can do that to you cos of your buddy, why wouldn't your buddy do the same thing to her cos of another woman?

come to think of it, why have a girlfriend or wife in this modern society where cheating is prevalent? Having a FB or hire a FL is sufficed..no emotional baggage to carry (what said on bed stays on bed). You don't even have to fear the other party cheating.

avantas · #64 31-01-2012, 09:24 AM

Hi TS

I am a typical lurker in SBF. I randomly came across your post and my heart really goes out for you. I recently dated a so called conservative girl from Malaysia as well and it turned out that she was basically using me to expand her social network and she secretly dated some of the guys I introduced to her. She justified it with a hell lot of crap excuses and in the end I realised I cant trust her at all cos she also lied about her love life for the past 6 years.

There are plenty of women like that in Singapore nowadays. No matter how good or how nice you are, there will still be a high chance that they are on the lookout especially if they are still young and relatively good looking.

Sometimes you feel like puking cos you cannot understand what is so good about the other guy they choose over you, but women's psyche can be damn fucked up cos they often follow by their feel, or when they become more experienced they just become more manipulative.

Cry over it, cheong over it but dont hurt yourself. It is a harsh lesson we learned but I am now very guarded over so called eligible and conservative women nowadays.

The other issues is that you are too lax over your ex-gf. Some people may feel this is unnecessary but if a girl is unwilling to submit her life to your control, she is in many ways not committed.

All the new girls I meet, I will enforce a certain type of "regime", requiring her to keep me updated on her where abouts and stuff. People may find this paranoid but trust me it works to filter out those who are having multiple dates cos they find their schedule controlled.

If she is unwilling to submit her time to you, then she is not suitable for marriage as simple as that.

Take care.

muscleboi · #65 31-01-2012, 09:37 AM

bro avantas, isn't it tiring to check on your girl everytime? And she can just lie about it. Or if she feels super stress about the control, she may even simply break it off and state the reason is because although she loves you, she feel stressful and has no choice but to break it off.

avantas · #66 31-01-2012, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muscleboi

bro avantas, isn't it tiring to check on your girl everytime? And she can just lie about it. Or if she feels super stress about the control, she may even simply break it off and state the reason is because although she loves you, she feel stressful and has no choice but to break it off.

Hey bro

That is just an excuse. If a girl likes you, she won't mind the attention. Furthermore, there are plenty of ways to bring such a regime across without being overly obvious about it. Can you imagine your wife having so much free time that you don't know who the hell she hangs out with?

For example, a girl once told me she is unwell and doesn't want to go out after work. So I asked if I can give her a call later around 7 to have a chat and see how she is doing. A girl who likes you in a relationship that is going well would enjoy the attention but a girl who is already having second doubts for whatever reason would find it irritating.

If she refuse or don't want to pick up the phone, then it would give you an indication that something is wrong. If you need a better illustration, just imagine the girl as your wife and you will find it a normal thing, in fact you are considered a bad husband if you didn't show any concern or rush back to take care of her.

Obviously I am not advising anyone to do so right in the beginning of the relationship but if the girl is already a gf and has full knowledge you have intention to bring this relationship somewhere then it is NOT a wrong thing to do. If a girl cam break up with you cos you want to be closer then something is wrong.

The other way to look at it, is that if a girl desires so much freedom even in a serious relationship, do you think she makes a good wife?

And regarding how tiring it is, I can always choose not to call but it does make it so that she has to be honest and transparent else I may catch her hanging with people when she says otherwise.

Finally, regarding her lying. Do you think it is wise to marry someone who lies to you about her where abouts? Carrying out a regime actually helps you determine her lie. The biggest folly for most sg men is to think that compromising in order to get a pretty wife or accepting that everyone lies is okay. It is not okay. If you are with me, you better focus on the relationship. Obviously a regime alone doesn't safeguard a happy ending.

I realized the best deal is make it known to your partner that you ALWAYS have other choices. Intro her to your female friends and be transparent. She will always complain about your flowery nature but also have no valid reason to leave you. In fact 9/10 times in all such relationship I heard, the girl ties the guy down instead.

Cheers

Voltz · #67 31-01-2012, 11:26 AM

I have been in such situations before... In this kinda scenario, I can forgive the gf but not the buddy!! Simply beh kan the guy!

avantas · #68 31-01-2012, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltz

I have been in such situations before... In this kinda scenario, I can forgive the gf but not the buddy!! Simply beh kan the guy!

Hey man

I agree with you. Women are always frickle minded but normally don't take action until a guy does something. The guy is not much of a friend and probably in it for free sex. I firmly believe the guy won't last long cos the girl is maturity wise unstable .

Voltz · #69 31-01-2012, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by avantas

Hey man

I agree with you. Women are always frickle minded but normally don't take action until a guy does something. The guy is not much of a friend and probably in it for free sex. I firmly believe the guy won't last long cos the girl is maturity wise unstable .

if a guy can give up a buddy/ best friend of many years for a woman.. what big things can he accomplish in life??

avantas · #70 31-01-2012, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Voltz

if a guy can give up a buddy/ best friend of many years for a woman.. what big things can he accomplish in life??

It just proves he was never really a good friend to begin with.

greddy · #71 31-01-2012, 06:33 PM

I agree ... I have been in this scenario before... Such buddy is as good as trash ... Who is unfit even for recycling ... F this guy ... Damn

fire_snow · #72 31-01-2012, 06:52 PM

Bro, I hope u get some idea from most samster advices. Seriously, Yr gf had no right to get angry. If I am u, I would confront my 'bud' and even if he said no... Do not think u are wrong to ask. Everyone is curious, worseoff this involved Yr lifetime happiness.
If its true, i suggest u get all Yr money out from joint savings/ investments with Yr gf, reduce yr dmg to the minimal. But meanwhile, enjoy her body and bonk her till u are ready to start Yr love life anew.

Thrs always a fresher girl out there who love and suits u better, gd luck!

Krazzie · #73 31-01-2012, 07:35 PM

Sad... another story of buddy fucking wife/girl friend/fiancee...

TS, take heart that you didn't find out about this AFTER you are married to her.

Krazzie · #74 31-01-2012, 07:42 PM

Different people have different requirements in personal space be it guy or gal, just like personally I hate having to report to anybody at all. So there is no hard and fast rule about a girl liking your 24/7/365 attention.

In any relationship - family, friends or love - there needs to be a basic level of trust, if you don't even trust the lady you love and just speculate this and that just cause she never pick up your call, then you two shouldn't be together. Because it can be a simple case of you call when she is sleeping or she is so sick her mind is not working as usual.

Quote:

Originally Posted by avantas

Hey bro

That is just an excuse. If a girl likes you, she won't mind the attention. Furthermore, there are plenty of ways to bring such a regime across without being overly obvious about it. Can you imagine your wife having so much free time that you don't know who the hell she hangs out with?

For example, a girl once told me she is unwell and doesn't want to go out after work. So I asked if I can give her a call later around 7 to have a chat and see how she is doing. A girl who likes you in a relationship that is going well would enjoy the attention but a girl who is already having second doubts for whatever reason would find it irritating.

If she refuse or don't want to pick up the phone, then it would give you an indication that something is wrong. If you need a better illustration, just imagine the girl as your wife and you will find it a normal thing, in fact you are considered a bad husband if you didn't show any concern or rush back to take care of her.

Obviously I am not advising anyone to do so right in the beginning of the relationship but if the girl is already a gf and has full knowledge you have intention to bring this relationship somewhere then it is NOT a wrong thing to do. If a girl cam break up with you cos you want to be closer then something is wrong.

The other way to look at it, is that if a girl desires so much freedom even in a serious relationship, do you think she makes a good wife?

And regarding how tiring it is, I can always choose not to call but it does make it so that she has to be honest and transparent else I may catch her hanging with people when she says otherwise.

Finally, regarding her lying. Do you think it is wise to marry someone who lies to you about her where abouts? Carrying out a regime actually helps you determine her lie. The biggest folly for most sg men is to think that compromising in order to get a pretty wife or accepting that everyone lies is okay. It is not okay. If you are with me, you better focus on the relationship. Obviously a regime alone doesn't safeguard a happy ending.

I realized the best deal is make it known to your partner that you ALWAYS have other choices. Intro her to your female friends and be transparent. She will always complain about your flowery nature but also have no valid reason to leave you. In fact 9/10 times in all such relationship I heard, the girl ties the guy down instead.

Cheers

avantas · #75 31-01-2012, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krazzie

Different people have different requirements in personal space be it guy or gal, just like personally I hate having to report to anybody at all. So there is no hard and fast rule about a girl liking your 24/7/365 attention.

In any relationship - family, friends or love - there needs to be a basic level of trust, if you don't even trust the lady you love and just speculate this and that just cause she never pick up your call, then you two shouldn't be together. Because it can be a simple case of you call when she is sleeping or she is so sick her mind is not working as usual.

Every now and then I would meet up with women like you who believes that being politically correct is a virtue and follows by giving useless generic advice and taking everything out of context.

My examples are single events by themselves so naturally anyone with some intelligence and maturity should take a sizable number of events to use as an indication of anything. My concept of the regime is an accumlation of my own experiences and I believe I would carry it out differently for different women I meet.

It saved me from a pointless relationship recently and earned the support of my friends who met the girl themselves and agreed that she was leading me on and hence insincere.