I am addicted to a FL!

[stone08]

nice writing...wonder what the future holds for both of you..

[synyster]

Bro, have you given up on your marriage? if you haven't you should try to spend more time with your family. revive the intimate moments with your wife. you've already said that the FL was just after your dough, whenever she runs out of it, you will be contacted. to put it blunt, you're not the only one with money in this world. you might just be one of the mass senders she sending to. she have others to rely on. you don't. unless you wanna live life just bedding with FLs.

go think what do you see in your marriage now and make a decision. you stated that sex life have been stagnent for years, im sure it's not something a girl can handle too especially if she's married. talk to your wife.

Originally Posted by larue

Damned fucking right I am, and I never ever thought it could possibly happen to me. I always thought I was capable of regarding them as nothing more than casual and transient service providers.

...

And she knows it, that clever girl. And she keeps me hooked..... How she does to follow when I next update. And what I like about her, and eventually how I think this will all end (badly of course!).

TBC

[larue]

Thanks again for all advice.

This girl has gone back for about 2 weeks now. We have had contact via sms and whatsapp, but I have not tried to reach her by phone, nor downloaded QQ.

She has not asked for money yet, lol, that part surprises me.

Any way, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life. Performing an assessment at my age revealed terrible things.

That I had been lost and aimless for a terribly terribly long time. This led to me focusing on things I need not and should not be, and totally disregarding the things that matter, especially things pertaining to self-development and self-actualization.

Hitherto, my entire life was purely passive and reactionary. Going with the flow so to speak.

Entering a comfort zone that appeared perfect and enviable to all, but which in fact had been slowly killing me for years.

I blamed everyone else, in particular the wife for for all my unhappiness, but I realize that it is me who has to change first. Perhaps she too can and will change, and perhaps the future for us may not be as bleak as I imagined it.

She needs to move out of her comfort zone as well, but first she has to realize what a terrible place it really is. Short of an outright earth shattering row, I can think of no idea to bring that about. And frankly, I'm not sure even such a row would achieve anything.

A change was long overdue in my life, and I have finally taken concrete steps to address the issue. Perhaps a change in me will effect one in her, because actions speak louder than words.

I have a few irons in the fire now, and my days are now preoccupied with setting things in motion.

I must not any longer allow my mind and body to be idle, because that is what brought me all my unhappiness to begin with.

[kutaocheng]

bro larue, seems like your relationship with wifey has soured over the years..

what caused that?
and you mentioned about the arrival of a child expedited the process.. mind elaborating?

[Gaofar]

Cheers Bro LR,

Hope that you will have brighter days ahead and hopefully you and your family will rekindled, be tighter, and be happier forever!

Look forward to your good feedbacks.
(Of course, if it tilts into the other direction, still let us know lah.. Haha.. 我觉得我有点八..)

Cheers and regards.

[Marcel]

Originally Posted by larue

Now what really draws me to this woman, is her incredible outlook on life. It is one shaped by years of unsheltered experience of being out on her own. It is an outlook that is almost completely devoid of negativity and self-pity.

When things are not going her way, she tears away the negative parts, and focuses on the positives. If there aren’t any, she finds some. She moves on from is useless to dwell on, and onto something she can work on to regain some measure of joy.

I sit there, watching and listening to her speak about pretty much everything while smoking my cigarette, then she throws her head back and laughs. Laughing that she talks so much, and should in fact look for a career in teaching people how to look beyond being unhappy.

And I tell her that which is absolutely true, anyone I know who’s unhappy (and pretty much everyone I know here is unhappy) should have a chat with her. And if they could look beyond their own prejudice (if any) regarding what she does, they would emerge far happier, and perhaps find more meaning in the things that they do.

.............

Sad that you did not continue the story bro but i like this part here. Now if only more of us could have such an outlook on life but i suppose personally i'm more of an emo type of guy anyway.

[Greatking]

Originally Posted by Marcel

Sad that you did not continue the story bro but i like this part here. Now if only more of us could have such an outlook on life but i suppose personally i'm more of an emo type of guy anyway.

I suppose you should be quite young?

Older group is normally numb to emo already

[lthrAus]

I'm in exactly the same boat as you. Successful in life in all ways, but still unhappy with life. I had a fling with a Mongolian FL and fell in love. Made everything in life very difficult and hard to cope. Probably years of stress and unhappiness building up, and perhaps feeling trapped in life and work. Unable to make the big decision to change and what's next, probably due to success so far.

It's good to hear you have some plans. For me, I'm still lost.

A good read for you is The Monk who sold his Ferrari. Highly recommended for people in our situation.

Like you said, however, these girls are in the end driven by money which shines through. I think that love is secondary for them and always will be.

[Shadow_warrior]

Hi bro,

good to see some sharing here

its not hard to find solace in FL, especially when a marriage gets stable,

things happen, move into comfort zone

When I want to add, even the love with the FL can hit snags

Now the FL I fell in love with, quit her work, we have been together, and I can tell

you, the sex, the passion, after 2 years, pretty much feels the same as the

marriage.

What you gonna do? Life is complicated, just do what you feel is right

[lthrAus]

Hi bro

Definitely good to share the experiences. Yours sounds amazing Shadow. No problems with money focus etc? And commitment?

[Marcel]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

Hi bro,

good to see some sharing here

its not hard to find solace in FL, especially when a marriage gets stable,

things happen, move into comfort zone

When I want to add, even the love with the FL can hit snags

Now the FL I fell in love with, quit her work, we have been together, and I can tell

you, the sex, the passion, after 2 years, pretty much feels the same as the

marriage.

What you gonna do? Life is complicated, just do what you feel is right

Hi i rmemeber your story on your past 7 flings so the woman you married used to work as an fl?

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Marcel

Hi i rmemeber your story on your past 7 flings so the woman you married used to work as an fl?

I didnt have 7 flings. I had 6 gf, married the last girl became my wife

the ex fl is now fb

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by lthrAus

Hi bro

Definitely good to share the experiences. Yours sounds amazing Shadow. No problems with money focus etc? And commitment?

sorry dont understand what you mean

money, focus and commitment are all similar yet different terms...

whose problems? mine or the fb?

[zuer]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

I didnt have 7 flings. I had 6 gf, married the last girl became my wife

the ex fl is now fb

you are dam lucky guy hehe , should be ex gf become fb right, not ex fl ?

[TheSeeker]

Interesting read.

Personally, I did have a few close encounters with FLs too but I am always quick to back myself off.

For example, when the FL I RTF starts saying things like I could call her to chat even if it's not to engage her services etc.. I would naturally see red and avoid any kind of contact..

Life and choices are complex as they already are, so I'm really not about ready to get myself into a KC trap with an FL.

Just some thoughts..