The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[Happywheel]

Originally Posted by dom01

Erm... I am seriously wondering if marriage is viewed from an economical sense?

Ie wld u want to get a highly educated wife, together with ur income, achieving 8k per month? Build up the love nest?

OR

Be with someone who truly loves you, yet life is normal.

Life is so contradicting....

sometime have to realistic about goal/dream

would be great if get a highly educated wife & help to raise the kids

but inferior complex will come in once in a while....how will your in-law look up to you.....presently dating a gal whose income is more than me...alittle sian at times...but just leave it to fate

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

I applaud ur faiths people. But, its hard to retain that faith. Having to get up each time, only to fall again. Sometimes, I find that its like a B.S. crash dummy exercise. Either that or we are in some stupid ENCAP (crash test). If survive, we get 5 stars. If die, get nothing..

Its difficult to retain the faith but Iguess most of us are suckers for punishment. If survive, we could possibly get the world. If die, just get the 'pleasure' of crashing repeatedly... I guess adrenalin and endorphins are more addictive than we thought.

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Reality is cruel. Not everyone will be lucky. I no longer believe I'm lucky. .

I try to kid myself that life's cruelties are there so that we appreciate bliss more. Not to be cliche but luck is often spotting the opportunity and taking it.

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Just when I thought God gave me a chance to try, I fell again. What hope is there? Fool's hope? If the Almighty wants to take me away, I don't mind just shutting my eyes and forget that I ever tasted the forbidden fruit of love. .

Why forget the good times? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. My heart gets broken constantly by the same person but its the good times with her that more than compnsates for the bad times. Of couse, if the forbidden fruit causes extreme insane damage then better steer clear.

Originally Posted by vesfreq

What to do? The only thing for real is money. Its the very thing that gives security to whichever gal falls in love with you. People say save money to get married. I say save money to make more money. Spend money on dating doesn't promise anything. Effort committed in a marriage may come to naught, once divorce is in sight.

Money is one of the lifebloods of not only relationships but many things. Save money to make money is also my motto. I don't go all out to save money for a relationship... its just not sensible. You don't race a Ferrari if you're only a Honda or even if you are a Mercedes. This is reality and not F1 where everything is fine tuned to one type of race and rule.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by Derelict

Better yet, aim for what is within your reach. I mean seriously if you are a clerk dont expect a singaporean power suite exec lah. Maybe for one nighters but dont expect a relatioship come out of it. That only exist in once apon a time in lah lah land and definately not in paper-chasing materialistic Singapore you dont!

Precisely the point!

As I mentioned, don't race a Ferrari if you are a Honda, Toyota, BMW, Mercs, etc. Even if you are a WRX, it'll only be good for the first few km... keeping pace will burn you up.

Its not so much materialism but reality. How many Julia Roberts out there who managed to find their Richard Geres?

[GhostRay]

Agree totally. I got a friend who act rich to impress gals & friends. In the end, end up borrow from friend, bank, company to keep up the rich front. Now he is holding 2 jobs to repay all the loans & up end up no gal & cannot hold up his head in front of friends & relatives.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by dom01

Erm... I am seriously wondering if marriage is viewed from an economical sense?

Ie wld u want to get a highly educated wife, together with ur income, achieving 8k per month? Build up the love nest?

OR

Be with someone who truly loves you, yet life is normal.

Life is so contradicting....

Partly economical. Partly sensible.

I chose to marry someone who is on par with me and not the one I love the most (who happens to be rich). Similar backgrounds make for similar behaviors, thoughts and ideals.

It was my educated (or uneducated) calculations that partly drove me not to marry the one I love. She was too rich for me and her background and lifestyle was too alien to me. Of course, it was only part of the reason for not marrying her and definitely not the only reason.

What I failed to realize at that point is that Love is not a science... no matter what they say of pheromones and anandamide... its just not correct to measure the chemistry.

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by XiaoJing

nowadays peeps first thing they think about is save money apply for flat ....

NEVER get married to buy house...

JWNY

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by dom01

Erm... I am seriously wondering if marriage is viewed from an economical sense?

Ie wld u want to get a highly educated wife, together with ur income, achieving 8k per month? Build up the love nest?

OR

Be with someone who truly loves you, yet life is normal.

Life is so contradicting....

Good question... it depends on your age or social status. If you are in your 20s, perhaps the compulsion of strong feelings and lovings could get your head starts spinning and impulsively walking down the aisle. Wrong or right decision? Each of his own... (The result will be clearly shown after 10yrs down the road)

In you are in your 30s or above, more likely the financial status and maturity come into picture. Having said that, you are no longer chasing over Fiona Xie-lookalike but the pathetic peanut pay, regardless how "stimulative" she is.

Literally, marrying someone with weak earning power is digging your own graveyard, and happiness is unlikely to precedent the monetary. However, there are plenty of happily married couples who live on peanut pays and their secret is nothing but CONTENTED. That's possible, but not plausible.

Feelings fade as time passes by. We get old and wrinkled but our monetary status will remain intact if we have high FQ (Financial Q). If you think the combined $8k (the ceiling of HDB loan) is astronomous, pls allow me to remind you that we are no longer in the traditional economy where seniority is more superior than education and IQ/EQ. Having said that, a combined $8k is peanut in the new economy.

However, lets not forget the contributions of the average joe, because without them, who will marry Ugly Betty?

jimbo

[steamer]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Precisely the point!

As I mentioned, don't race a Ferrari if you are a Honda, Toyota, BMW, Mercs, etc. Even if you are a WRX, it'll only be good for the first few km... keeping pace will burn you up.

Its not so much materialism but reality. How many Julia Roberts out there who managed to find their Richard Geres?

ya man, nvr marry a ger who is not willing to take the bus with u.

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by surfer888

As I mentioned, don't race a Ferrari if you are a Honda, Toyota, BMW, Mercs, etc. Even if you are a WRX, it'll only be good for the first few km... keeping pace will burn you up.

Its not so much materialism but reality. How many Julia Roberts out there who managed to find their Richard Geres?

Agree... It reminds me of a HK movie "Want to marry a rich person" by Ren Xian Chi and Cheung. Both are average joe who dream of marrying a rich person, so they both bought the first class tickets and flew to Paris. Ended up no money to pay for expensive foods and bla bla bla... of coz, they both got married and rich... It only happens in a movie

It's just like modifying a Cherry QQ car into a sports car without changing the engine. Eg, installing expensive stereo system and wheels, etc... yet it's still a Cherry QQ car

jimbo

[just4fun]

Originally Posted by jng1103

However, there are plenty of happily married couples who live on peanut pays and their secret is nothing but CONTENTED. That's possible, but not plausible.

Bro, well said!!

Tons of ppl are living their life in great sadness...misery and unhappiness cos they never feel contended with wat they hv....

Unfortunately...i am one of those suckers.... I am trying very hard to be contended...but at times...we just cant do it....

Sad!!!

[_AXL_]

Originally Posted by Derelict

Wow are singaporean girls demon incarnate? But seriously...

I sense many cynic postings after my initial post. Clinical as it may sound but it is a cynical remarks all the same by some. Let me illustrate an example. You picked a wild flower only to know later its an ivy. Like the name inply you got poison and you blame all the flowers to be the same. Like the flower, gone are the facts that one mother is a singaporean. Gone are the facts that the sister we stay and grow up together are singaporean as well. Its usually the jilted that will loose sight of the facts and do the blame game.

after reading the posts here, i also have the feeling that sg girls r being portrayed as the devil incarnate. i have seen many who r materialistic, too many to count. but i have also seen quite a number who would lay down their lives and $ for their loved ones. i think it all boils down to both nature and nurture.

i have just broken off recently, with a girl whom i started off by taking the bus with her, cos i just came back to sg. then i bought a car and let her use it whenever i have to leave town due to work commitments. but she ended up with another guy and even paid for his car instalments when he was having cash flow problems!!! all these despite the guy is married with a child. if it were me, i would have loved a woman till death who would help with my financial problems. but did break off with her immediately after i knew about her infidelity. my loss is another man's gain. oh, by the way, she is not sg but a m'sian.

i have also seen my sg female colleague take out her life savings to help her bf with his betting debts after he promised her to quit 2 years ago. he did n he repaid every single cent since then. they r preparing for the wedding now. my colleague is quite a looker, smart, makes lots of $ and has no lack of rich suitors. but she stuck with her guy when it was easier for her to go out and find another guy.

guess it is just luck and not the nationality of the girl we r in love with but their values. i certainly dont have that kind of luck. the love of my life left me 11 years back n there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of her. occasionally, i still swing by her office building just hopeful that i might catch a glimpse of her.

[jng1103]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

guess it is just luck and not the nationality of the girl we r in love with but their values. i certainly dont have that kind of luck. the love of my life left me 11 years back n there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of her. occasionally, i still swing by her office building just hopeful that i might catch a glimpse of her.

It's kinda sadden me to read your post but I always believe that we can be better men, if we are determined. I have no doubt about you, my pal...

Yes, luck plays a vital role in all courtships or relationships. However, we got to outsmart the other species so that we could maintain the upper hands, well, not all the times, but most of the times. I must admit that I am quite lucky to have found the hidden gem among the rotten and spoilt sillypore women, and yes, I do/did outsmart them in one way or another.

You are lucky to know your beloved one's whereabout/office and possibly to catch a glimpse of her, yes, you are a lucky lad. I wish I could but I need a lot more than luck to locate my loved one, hoping to spare a smile while passing by. Well, as the title of this thread, I will marry the 'monetary' one but not the loved one. That's life, I guess... so, move on

jimbo

[_AXL_]

Originally Posted by jng1103

It's kinda sadden me to read your post but I always believe that we can be better men, if we are determined. I have no doubt about you, my pal...

Yes, luck plays a vital role in all courtships or relationships. However, we got to outsmart the other species so that we could maintain the upper hands, well, not all the times, but most of the times. I must admit that I am quite lucky to have found the hidden gem among the rotten and spoilt sillypore women, and yes, I do/did outsmart them in one way or another.

You are lucky to know your beloved one's whereabout/office and possibly to catch a glimpse of her, yes, you are a lucky lad. I wish I could but I need a lot more than luck to locate my loved one, hoping to spare a smile while passing by. Well, as the title of this thread, I will marry the 'monetary' one but not the loved one. That's life, I guess... so, move on

jimbo

bro jng1103 or jimbo, felt bad when u said u were saddened by my post. cos i m not sad. whatever i do, i chose to do it. no one forced a gun on my head to break off with my ex recently, and certainly no one forced me to secretly swing by my ex of 11 yrs office just to catch a glimpse of her. so far i was only successful twice n she didnt see me. but it was good enough already. but someone should have pointed a gun at me to go after my lady colleague when i had that chance. damn!!! life is about missed opportunities, that time due to my principle of not eating and shiting in the same place.

bro, hang on to yr wife. did everything i could but still not enough for my ex, so if u really cherish her, dont hold back. and all the best to u. for me, i m still going to try to find a good apple (got any to recommend?? ), but i dont think i m going to stop looking out on the one that got away 11 years ago.

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

bro, hang on to yr wife. did everything i could but still not enough for my ex, so if u really cherish her, dont hold back. and all the best to u. for me, i m still going to try to find a good apple (got any to recommend?? ), but i dont think i m going to stop looking out on the one that got away 11 years ago.

hope u will find the one u deserve..sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do bcoz at least by holdin on..u still hv some memories, once u let go..there is nothing left..but still i wan to share a line here with u n other bros..if u neva let go, how can u ever welcome the One when you finally meet her?

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by just4fun

Bro, well said!!

Tons of ppl are living their life in great sadness...misery and unhappiness cos they never feel contended with wat they hv....

Unfortunately...i am one of those suckers.... I am trying very hard to be contended...but at times...we just cant do it....

Sad!!!

我不求有功，只求无过，不求幸福，只求知足，不求快乐，只求你幸福