One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seems okay but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again, she seems okay but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.
"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.
"It’s pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won’t let you fart."
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”
On the first night of their honeymoon, the new bride tells her husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin. I've been with one other guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can understand that."
The couple then makes passionate love.
When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
"I'm hungry. I'm calling room service."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband drops the phone and makes love to his wife a second time.
When they finish, he goes back to the phone.
"What are you doing now?" she asks.
"I'm still hungry, so I'm going to ring room service for some food."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."
The husband puts the phone down and heads back to bed.
Exhausted after the third lovemaking session, he shuffles back to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole!"
A tall woman met a midget at a party. The midget was barely three feet tall but they were attracted to each other.
After a few drinks, they went back to the tall woman's apartment. "I can't imagine what it will be like making love to a midget," said the woman, "especially with the size difference and all."
"Just take off your cloths, lie back on the bed, spread your legs apart, and close your eyes," said the midget.
The woman obliged, and soon she felt the biggest thing she'd ever experienced inside her. Within a few minutes, the woman had eight orgasms.
"If you think that was good," said the midget with a smirk, "just wait until I get BOTH legs in there!"
I was buying mangoes at the junction while waiting for change I saw an old woman with a little child. The child was walking a bit faster than the woman and the woman shouted; "Degree wait for me". I was so amazed hearing that name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "ma, why do u call your grand child degree"? The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to the University for education and this is what she brought home...
I was buying mangoes at the junction while waiting for change I saw an old woman with a little child. The child was walking a bit faster than the woman and the woman shouted; "Degree wait for me". I was so amazed hearing that name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "ma, why do u call your grand child degree"? The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to the University for education and this is what she brought home...
I was buying mangoes at the junction while waiting for change I saw an old woman with a little child. The child was walking a bit faster than the woman and the woman shouted; "Degree wait for me". I was so amazed hearing that name. So to satisfy my curiousity, I walked closer to the woman and asked; "ma, why do u call your grand child degree"? The woman laughed and said "I sent her mother to the University for education and this is what she brought home...
Nice joke and thanks.
She brought home a degree and that's joke.
21-07-2019, 05:39 PM
