Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[AnnaKatrina]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

According to Mechanical Engineers 'GIRLS' are the Best Machines in the World.....
Why???

1. 2 bumpers in front.
2. 2 bumpers in back.
3. Self-lubricating when hot.
4. Finger touch ignition.
5. Monthly automatic engine oil change.
6. Every type of PISTON Fitting facility.
7. Highest milage of 9 Months at just 2ml.




Mechanical Engineer's wife Delivered a baby..

Wife Sends SMS to Husband :
"Your New Vehicle is Launched."

Husband SMS's back :
"With Gear or Without Gear?"

Good share bro

[StrongBrew]

A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days.
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"

[StrongBrew]

A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[NorthernPrick]

Originally Posted by StrongBrew

A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days.
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"

Nice share bro, thanks!!

[mvkhem]

Whn your sick ..kiss the boss wife

[Hurricane88]

Nice jokes in pic...

[Hurricane88]

AT A MORTUARY IN KUALA LUMPUR


Three dead bodies turn up at the KLGH mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

'First body: Chua Soh Lick, Chinese, 60 years, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector', says the Coroner.


'Second body: Sam Vellupillai, Indian, 58 years, won RM50,000 on the lottery. Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Mohd Nakib Resak, 62, struck by lightning.'

'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

'He thought he was having his picture taken'.

[gamewinner]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Nice jokes in pic...

Hahaha. RLMAO - such nice jokes.
Please keep the jokes coming!! Thanks.

[improbable]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

AT A MORTUARY IN KUALA LUMPUR


Three dead bodies turn up at the KLGH mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

'First body: Chua Soh Lick, Chinese, 60 years, died of heart failure while making love to his 20-year old mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector', says the Coroner.


'Second body: Sam Vellupillai, Indian, 58 years, won RM50,000 on the lottery. Spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'

The Inspector asked, 'What about the third body?'

'Ah,' says the coroner, 'this is the most unusual one. Mohd Nakib Resak, 62, struck by lightning.'

'Why is he smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.

'He thought he was having his picture taken'.

Nice great jokes. Thanks.

[tornado69]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Nice jokes in pic...

Thanks for nice jokes and really love all the jokes.

[bethpage]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Nice jokes in pic...

Great post. Cheers.

[Oxide8]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Thank you bro for good jokes and many funny jokes.

[weagree]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

AT A MORTUARY IN KUALA LUMPUR


Three dead bodies turn up at the KLGH mortuary all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.

Hehehee LDMLMFAOLOL very fun joke.
Thanks and hope to read more.

[NaNeNiNoNu]

Originally Posted by StrongBrew

A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.

Haha nice one bro, thanks for sharing!