Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[Hurricane88]

More afternoon jokes...

[CrazyBaby]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

More afternoon jokes...

Thanks for sharing

[Eighty8]

Happy-go-lucky

[preciouswater]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Very nice share haha. Hoping for more

[girlassassin]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

So very true hahaha nice share bro

[Nomsit]

Originally Posted by Eighty8

Happy-go-lucky

Thanks bro for sharing!

[womenhunter]

Have a nice day

[bigbirdbird]

Leaving Her Job





A young peasant girl of twelve went to work in a broom factory. After 2 months she gave the boss a two-week notice.

The boss was quite unhappy to let her go since she was hard working, knew her tasks etc. He called her into his office, "But why?" he asked.

"Nothin, I just wanna quit that's all," she said sullenly.

"Look, I'll give you a raise."

"No," she said

"You can't just quit like that. There must be a reason. Tell me."

"Okay if you must know..." said the girl, and she took off her underwear and pointed to her pubic hair. "Look I haven't had this before, it's the broom's bristles, I tell you..."

Tickled by her innocence, he too took off his underwear and showed his, and said, "Ha ha...my dear it's nature. Look I have it too...."

"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."

[bigbirdbird]

Responses to Avoid When She Says, "Do I Look Fat In This?"

"Not to Stevie Wonder."

"Oh my god, yes. That's why I'm screwing your best friend."

"No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"

"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an f or phat with a ph."

"No hablo ingles."

"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."

"No, but taking it *off* sure does."

"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make ..."

"Not if you were traveling at the speed of light."

"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

"Shit! A talking couch!"

[SexierExercise]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

…..
"Oh no!" the girl cried, "I can't wait two weeks, I quit now! Not only do you have the bristles, but you've grown the handle as well."

LMAO nice share bro, thanks very much

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[warbird]

A 65-year-old man is having a drink in Harpoon Harry's.

Suddenly a gorgeous girl enters and sits down a few seats away. The girl is so attractive that he just can't take his eyes off her.

After a short while, the girl notices him staring, and approaches him....

Before the man has time to apologize, the girl looks him deep in the eyes and says to him in a sultry tone:

"I'll do anything you'd like.... Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams... it doesn't matter how extreme or unusual it is... I'm game..!!! I want $100... and there's another condition....."

Completely stunned by the sudden turn of events, the man asks her what her condition is. "You have to tell me what you want me to do... in just three words.!!!"

The man takes a moment to consider the offer from the beautiful woman. He whips out his wallet and puts $100 dollars into her hand...

He then looks her square in the eyes, and says slowly and clearly:














"Paint My House.!!"

Our needs change as we get older... and we tend to look for bargains.!!!

[charlienicholas]

Thank you all who shared nice jokes.

Really love them all and laugh my shit out of ass.

Pls continue to share nice jokes, ok!

[Emirates2015]

Originally Posted by warbird

"Paint My House.!!"

Our needs change as we get older... and we tend to look for bargains.!!!

Nice share bro, thanks

[Hurricane88]

Definitely joke of the day 😂😂😂.
Trump has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"🤪🤪😂😂😂