The one you marry, is not the one you loved most? - Page 8

JWNY · #**106** 27-10-2006, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by primalhunter

the whole reason this thread started, the threadstarter having second thoughts or misgivings on how he ended up HERE? no point doing that.

Absolutely not...the thread was started on a curiosity basis. It's not to question whether one has made right or wrong decisions...resentment will always be around, it's how one deals with it. If i really needed to redeem myself...i know which MRT station to jump

Hope that is clarified

JWNY

Thai Rak Thai · #**107** 29-10-2006, 06:17 PM

take from somewhere for share

Quote:

The question "Why marry?? is indeed an important one to consider before you choose your future spouse. You may be especially curious to answer this question after reading some of articles that suggest that not many women of our class are likely to be lucky enough to marry for love, although this notion has become more popular as our century has progressed. It is indeed true that is it more difficult for women of our elevated social standing to marry for love than women of the middling sort, since our parents seek to maintain and increase the family wealth and social position. If we reminisce with our mothers and grandmothers about the primary reasons for marriage, they would answer with the same reasons that exist today. The only difference, in the early 1700s, most women did not marry for love. This is a trend that is just beginning to influence the beautiful gentlewomen like yourself. But we must remember that marrying simply for love and love alone does produce some practical difficulties. One is that - one has to live as well as love? In other words, what if you marry a respectable poor man because you are passionately in love with him, but you cannot afford to live comfortably and support your children? Another problem presented by this idea of marrying for love is: how are we supposed to know how to choose the right man? How do we know when we are really in love? I'm sure that this is a question that has crossed your mind at least once since you have entered the marriage market.
With this in mind, it is now appropriate to consider some other very attractive reasons to marry. These reasons will probably be read to you in some form at your own wedding service.

1) the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and praise of God.

2) A remedy to prevent sin, and to avoid fornication?

3) for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have for the other?

Let's consider each of these very good reasons in closer detail. Just think what a wonderful opportunity we could have as married women, to bear children, and raise them into the type of citizens that will further strengthen both England?s moral strength and economic prosperity. Another important reason to bear children in marriage is that they will carry on their father's prestigious name

Just as raising God-fearing children strengthens our nation's moral character, marriage itself is widely thought to have the ability to make our nation more morally sound, as it encourages men to avoid certain illicit sexual activities. To put this as discreetly as possible, it is perhaps most appropriate to consider this idea by examining the words of Richard Baxter from the very beginning of our century: ?it fareth with married men for the most part, as with those that at great charges wall in ground and plant, who cheaper might have eaten melons elsewhere than in their own garden's cucumber?

The third reason listed above is especially important to consider, as an alternative for marrying for passionate love alone. A very personally fulfilling union can be formed by a man and a woman that simply enjoy one another's company, and can provide comfort and support for one another through both the happy difficult times in life. God provided us with this model of companionate marriage in the story of Adam and Eve : "it is not good that man should be alone. I will make an help meet for him.

My fellow gentlewomen, keeping these reasons in mind, we can conclude with saying that while our emotional attachment to our future spouse is indeed important, we should consider the practical difficulties involved in such a union, and remember that a companionate marriage is at least as emotionally fulfilling than a marriage based on passionate love, and probably even more so. We need to look for a spouse that we can imagine ourselves living with in both psychological and material comfort. We must also remember that marriage is a necessity for us upper-class women. Without a proper marriage with which both sets of parents agree, your family relationship could suffer to some degree. Please take precaution as you enter marriage. Hopefully you can now begin to answer that important question: Why marry?, and can feel more relaxed and confident about choosing the spouse who is right for you

giggz83 · #**108** 29-10-2006, 10:50 PM

education .. globalisation and modernization.

we are in a transition state .. where .. everything is evolving.

education .. so much for education, now everyone are educated and everyone are demanding for personal rights.

globalisation .. where east meets west .. north meets south .. foreigner know a bit of conservation and we asian know what freedom of love is all about.

modernization .. with advance technology theres nothing we cannot achieve .. you got online dating .. and you got friendster!! and hell, whats before all this? IRC .. ICQ .. hahaha...

too bad we are the guinea pigs in this transition state. but fear not. i believe love is still as pure as ever .. just get the basic right.

someday someone will come, just have to wait.

good luck, everyone

dirtymonk82 · #**109** 30-10-2006, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giggz83

someday someone will come, just have to wait.

Some will spend their whole life waiting in vain..

primalhunter · #**110** 30-10-2006, 11:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JWNY

Absolutely not...the thread was started on a curiosity basis. It's not to question whether one has made right or wrong decisions...resentment will always be around, it's how one deals with it. If i really needed to redeem myself...i know which MRT station to jump

Hope that is clarified

JWNY

Well, I guess was wrong. My apologies.

ChokDeeDee! · #**111** 31-10-2006, 02:21 AM

Umm... I guess the gal i married is the one I loved the most so far. Ain't too old now so probably have much more experiences to gather in future. But as of now, YES

Just my few cents, a marriage cert dun mean anything. Its worthless. Nothing guarantees a lifetime of happiness, only the couple can make it happen.
Ever had a GF of six years, things ain't feeling too good, feeling goes stale. Unwilling to let go, until it finally ended and guess how I felt? RELEASED!!! Thank god it did which ended up with me finding my wifey

lucky low · #**112** 31-10-2006, 03:43 AM

I married the woman I love most but after 10 years, we have gone our own ways. Now I believe the best is to marry some one that love you more than you love her.

littlelephant · #**113** 31-10-2006, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lucky low

I married the woman I love most but after 10 years, we have gone our own ways. Now I believe the best is to marry some one that love you more than you love her.

Point noted, maybe sometimes it's not who you end up with but who you have been with its the moments enjoyed the process that is memorable rather then the end of the day the results that matters.

It's better to have loved than to never have loved at all.

littlelephant · #**114** 31-10-2006, 04:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The-One

After reading your 15 steamy FRs, I have a question for you. Will you ever walk down the aisle and take the oath? Which guy will walk through the thick with you after reading those FRs?

Dont worry too much, love is a wonderful thing it works in the most wonderful ways, it comes and goes when you least expects it.
But when you have it dont give it up, when you dont have it work harder.

giggz83 · #**115** 31-10-2006, 09:44 AM

im really sadden by all these sad stories..

enough of reality world .. isnt there any fairy tales around? the happily ever after ending .. where the prince would live with the princess till forever?

my heart goes to the bro here ..

cheers!~

natsuki · #**116** 31-10-2006, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The-One

After reading your 15 steamy FRs, I have a question for you. Will you ever walk down the aisle and take the oath? Which guy will walk through the thick with you after reading those FRs?

Dint notice that there is a reply... Well, even before i started coming in i already thinks that the one u married most likely wun be the one you love the most. Like my dad, he got my mum, divorced and find another one, then now he still got so many gfs outside... Who he actually love?

Well, i never ask to marry anyone. Infact i also believe those FRs wun give me a good marriage either. Thanks. For what i want is maybe not a good marriage, but together with the person i like. Learn to take care of myself better. However, i appreciate ur efforts in reading those FRs... Yeah, and i clearly aware of i don't deserve any love/marriage okay....

5ag1_Boar · #**117** 31-10-2006, 10:18 AM

Frankly, whether you marry the one you love most or not, to make it last the long run it takes hard work and commitment to make it work. Like it or not, people change over the years and we have to learn to love and support each other through the years.

rengh73 · #**118** 31-10-2006, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by klzombie

well I married whom I wanted to marry but then she turned into someone that I don't really want to marry. I now rather to be loved then to love someone more... hmm..

same situation her bro....n i am helpless. i duno what to do. is so different. i have alot of unhappiness but i duno how to put it to her....

vesfreq · #**119** 31-10-2006, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by giggz83

im really sadden by all these sad stories..

enough of reality world .. isnt there any fairy tales around? the happily ever after ending .. where the prince would live with the princess till forever?

my heart goes to the bro here ..

cheers!~

There are no more fairy tales. Waking up each day is a nightmare .... bad enough. Knowing that these nightmares run in series makes it worse.

A nightmare that we can't wake up from is certainly a very bad dream. Can't wait to wake up, even if there are no fairy tales to witness or experience.

lucky low · #**120** 01-11-2006, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlelephant

Point noted, maybe sometimes it's not who you end up with but who you have been with its the moments enjoyed the process that is memorable rather then the end of the day the results that matters.

It's better to have loved than to never have loved at all.

hi bro, yes you are right that you have to enjoy the process. If results don't matter to you, then don't get married.

There is a chinese saying:
"to love someone is hard (xin ku)
to be love is happiness (xin fu)
to love fall in love is a blessing"

God bless those that fall in love, Amen!!