Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*Sex Service*

A guy went to Vegas for the first time in his life. He was very curious about the sex services offered there. Through a bellboy, he found the best in town.

When the lady came, he asked :_
*How much is your service.....????? "_*

The lady said :" $100 for a ✊ hand job"

What.....????
Why So Expensive....??? "
The guy asked in amazement.....!!!!

The lady pulled the guy to the window and asked him :
Do you see that shiny red Porsche 🚘 down there....???? ''_*
That's what I earned by my hand.....!!!! "

The guy was convinced and decided to try her service._
It was great....!!!!_
So he asked :_
What else can you do....???? "

The lady said :_
For $200 I'll give you a blowjob.....!!! "

What....???_*
That's way too expensive for a blow job....!!!! ''
he replied.

The lady brought him to the window again, and said :
'' Do you see the restaurant down there.... ????That's what I've earned with my mouth....!!!! ''_

So the guy decided to go for it and gave her $200._
It was unbelievable....!!!!_

So he decided he wanted to try the" Real " Thing._
_So he asked :_
'' How much for Real Intercourse.....????? "*

The lady pulled him over to the window again, and said :
'' Do you see that skyscraper there....????*
*It would have been mine a long time ago if I had A Pussy.....!!!!!! ''

Chao ah gua.
Damn funny dee.

[charlienicholas]

I started laughing every post here.

[youngslyfox]

Originally Posted by charlienicholas

I started laughing every post here.

Looks like we are the same.

[malaysiapig]

[Hurricane88]

Not sure if this story is true, but under the circumstances, it’s plausible 😂😂:

An Advertisement in The Star
read Mercedes sale
for *RM.100/-*
No one beleived it,
but one old man
responded and went
to see the car.

The Lady actually sold
him a brand new Mercedes,
which had done just 12,000 kms,
for RM 100/-.

She handed him the
papers and the Car keys.

As he was leaving
he said I would die
of suspense if you
don't tell me why this
car was sold so cheap.

The Lady replied.........

I am just fulfilling the will
of my deceased husband,
where all money receievd
from sale of his Mercedes
would go to his Secretary...😩😳

Jealous Wives....😂

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Not sure if this story is true, but under the circumstances, it’s plausible 😂😂:

An Advertisement in The Star
read Mercedes sale
for *RM.100/-*
No one beleived it,
but one old man
responded and went
to see the car.

The Lady actually sold
him a brand new Mercedes,
which had done just 12,000 kms,
for RM 100/-.

She handed him the
papers and the Car keys.

As he was leaving
he said I would die
of suspense if you
don't tell me why this
car was sold so cheap.

The Lady replied.........

I am just fulfilling the will
of my deceased husband,
where all money receievd
from sale of his Mercedes
would go to his Secretary...😩😳

Jealous Wives....😂

Haha. Never get wife to execute will.

Share more pls. Thanks.

[t123]

SEX AFTER DEATH
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact.

“Marion, Marion?”

"Is that you, Bob?”

“Yes, I've come back as we agreed."

“That's wonderful! What's it like there?”

"Well, I get up in the morning and I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.Then I have lunch (you'd be proud -- lots of greens!) Another romp around the golf course, then I pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again.”

"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"

“No … I'm a Fucking Rabbit in Arizona."

[dyelook]

commercial breaks....

[KnowItAll]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

nice joke bro...

[SBMEDSUP]

More more jokes please.

[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by dyelook

commercial breaks....

Well said, cheers!

[Hurricane88]

An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake.
See his answers...

The last one is ultimate!!

😂😂😂😂

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work .

8. Liposuction - A French Kiss .

9. Ultrasound - Radical Sound that is above human hearing capacity, such as wife's talk.

10. Cardiology - Advanced Study of Playing Cards .....

11. dyspepsia : difficulty in drinking pepsi.

12.Chicken Pox- A Non-Veg. continental dish.

13.CT Scan: Test for identifying person's
city

14.Radiology- the study of how Radio works

15.Parotitis : information about the parrots.

ULTIMATE-------!!!!!!

16. Urology: the study of european people

😂😂😂😂😂
I died laughing!

[Hurricane88]

. 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

A man went to a *RED LIGHT AREA*

The *Pimp* had named the *sex workers* using *car brands...*

*Pimp 😗 " U may choose any one , Sir !"

BMW - RM 1,000/-
Mercedes - RM 800/-
Toyota - RM 600/-
Honda - RM 500/-
Ford - RM 300/-
Volkswagen - RM 100/-

Man ordered a *Volkswagen and was shocked to see a GAY....*

*Man 😗 " What the f@*&% is this. You sent me a Gay ? "

*Pimp 😗 " Sir , for the Volkswagen , the engine is behind .....! "🤦🏻‍♂😂🤣

[diputs1269]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

. 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

A man went to a *RED LIGHT AREA*

The *Pimp* had named the *sex workers* using *car brands...*

*Pimp 😗 " U may choose any one , Sir !"

BMW - RM 1,000/-
Mercedes - RM 800/-
Toyota - RM 600/-
Honda - RM 500/-
Ford - RM 300/-
Volkswagen - RM 100/-

Man ordered a *Volkswagen and was shocked to see a GAY....*

*Man 😗 " What the f@*&% is this. You sent me a Gay ? "

*Pimp 😗 " Sir , for the Volkswagen , the engine is behind .....! "🤦🏻‍♂😂🤣

Hahaha, nice joke here.
Love the Volkswagen's joke, cheers!

[SBMEDSUP]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

An Engineering student attended a Medical exam by mistake.
See his answers...

The last one is ultimate!!

😂😂😂😂

ULTIMATE-------!!!!!!

16. Urology: the study of european people

😂😂😂😂😂
I died laughing!

LMAO really funny. thanks