Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, don't mind me saying this. She marry into yr family and you are Chinese , why need to follow the viet way of doing things and still pray to their ancestors ? Maybe I have too much pride , I have never prayed to my wife's ancestors from marriage till now, my children also. I always tell my children they are Chinese as I am Chinese. After birth, my wife follows Chinese tradition , not Vietnamese tradition.

I can only say ... YOU is YOU , ME is ME ... To each its own ...

I believe there is Nothing Wrong in doing some things in a vietnamese ways and I also believe there is nothing wrong in respecting/praying to their ancestors ...

That's where the problem lies:

In general, We want them to do things our singapore ways , pray and respect to our ancestors and YET we are not willing to do things in a vietnamese ways, pray and respect to theirs ... I think something is WRONG somewhere in our thinking adn/or perceptions.

I guess it is NOT a matter of Pride .... It's a Matter of RESPECT ...

So what if we are chinese ? so what she marry to me ?

Marriage is a 2 way thing NOT 1 way. It's a form for mutual respect NOT just for 1 party.

I also taught my 2 gals to be respectful , NOT to distinguish who is who ...

For me, as long as it benefit to both party .. which ever way, I am ok ..

Furthermore, during pregnacy ... child birth ... birthday ... she and the baby is there ... so they practice the Vietnamese way of celebrating ... so I guess it's nothing wrong with it ...

Besides, I also share with her the Chinese ways of doing things ... this becomes a journey for us to discover each other more and then we can learn to accept each other ways of doing things ... it's definitely a win-win situation for both ..

Sometimes I think of it, although in SIngapore, we dun really practice the Chinese way of doings things and celebration, we by in large follows the western way of doing things and even in celebration... so how can we called ourself as Chinese.

The MOST IMPORTANT Sentence I want to share is .. NO MATTER what circumstances , NEVER Forget Your ROOTS ....

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by shysaint

I can only say ... YOU is YOU , ME is ME ... To each its own ...

I believe there is Nothing Wrong in doing some things in a vietnamese ways and I also believe there is nothing wrong in respecting/praying to their ancestors ...

That's where the problem lies:

In general, We want them to do things our singapore ways , pray and respect to our ancestors and YET we are not willing to do things in a vietnamese ways, pray and respect to theirs ... I think something is WRONG somewhere in our thinking adn/or perceptions.

I guess it is NOT a matter of Pride .... It's a Matter of RESPECT ...

So what if we are chinese ? so what she marry to me ?

Marriage is a 2 way thing NOT 1 way. It's a form for mutual respect NOT just for 1 party.

I also taught my 2 gals to be respectful , NOT to distinguish who is who ...

For me, as long as it benefit to both party .. which ever way, I am ok ..

Furthermore, during pregnacy ... child birth ... birthday ... she and the baby is there ... so they practice the Vietnamese way of celebrating ... so I guess it's nothing wrong with it ...

Besides, I also share with her the Chinese ways of doing things ... this becomes a journey for us to discover each other more and then we can learn to accept each other ways of doing things ... it's definitely a win-win situation for both ..

Sometimes I think of it, although in SIngapore, we dun really practice the Chinese way of doings things and celebration, we by in large follows the western way of doing things and even in celebration... so how can we called ourself as Chinese.

The MOST IMPORTANT Sentence I want to share is .. NO MATTER what circumstances , NEVER Forget Your ROOTS ....

You are right to yr understanding of viet culture. My decade there have me experiencing a lot of negative sides of their culture and tradition. So I m very much very adhere to the Chinese tradition. To each their own, you decide for yrself. I m just stating my views , no offense. Cheers

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

You are right to yr understanding of viet culture. My decade there have me experiencing a lot of negative sides of their culture and tradition. So I m very much very adhere to the Chinese tradition. To each their own, you decide for yrself. I m just stating my views , no offense. Cheers

Oh Yes . NO Offense NO Offense ....

Yes , I Agree there is negatives side of it ... In fact from the vietnamese cultures, I actually extract alot of the theories behind their cultures and beliefs ... I am always learning and thus applying what is good and beneficial ...

In fact, we chinese in Singapore has been losing too much of tradition and beliefs here ... from how the vietnamese carried out their beliefs, it makes me even stronger to preserve and uphold out chinese beliefs and cultures.

I told my wife CNY I don't sleep til the sunrise and she said I crazy ... BUT after I explain what is the purpose , she will smile back and said oh ok, vietnamese don't practice that ...

Likewise in Vietnam, there do not have re-union dinner on the 29/30 night, so she was very surprised by the celebration and of course the praying at 12 midnight ..

So I guess , there is always some lessons for eveyone to learn ...

[Crown]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Can't Do ... before birth

No Riding Bike

Very Crucial for 1st tri-mester ... must take very good care.

Can't Do ... after birth

No bathing ... even brush teeth , she gaggle with salt water ...

During the 1st 1 mth, not allow to bath .... after that ... she got herbs (my mil uses some kinds of tree branches) sauna session than use the water to bath ..

Can't Eat ...

Practically my wife ate almost everything ... even those restricted in chinese customs .. like water melon, coconut ..

However, after Birth, some food/fruits Cannot eat especially wife got breast feed the baby ...

I know my wife DON'T EAT Seafood for the initial breast feeding period ..

Thanks for sharing

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Crown

Thanks for sharing

welcome ... welcome .... welcome ...

[lkyin1]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Hi Hi .. Actually I won't say "Pan Tan" ... coz I never observe like any, more it's their belief and practices :

1. NO SeX during Pregnancy.

2. IF you are Pregnant before the Wedding Custom / Dinner ... DO NOT let your invited guests know , else they will NOT turn up for your ceremony / dinner.

3. Baby Girl will have their Ear Pierced at 1 month using the traditional red string method.

4. Baby 1 month praying to their ancestors/gods.

5. Baby 1 year old praying to their ancestors/gods. After that they will line up in front of the baby a load of items, from pen, books, car, aeroplane, doctor's apparatus and etc .. it's like the chinese "Wen Fang Shi Bao" ... to let the baby choose.

6. Confinement Food very be damn saltish as to make you drink more water to cleanse your body.

Any Experienced BROs to share

Thank you bro for sharing

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by lkyin1

Thank you bro for sharing

Kg co chi ... kg co chi ...

[NguyenTrai]

Originally Posted by shysaint

I can only say ... YOU is YOU , ME is ME ... To each its own ...

I believe there is Nothing Wrong in doing some things in a vietnamese ways and I also believe there is nothing wrong in respecting/praying to their ancestors ...

That's where the problem lies:

In general, We want them to do things our singapore ways , pray and respect to our ancestors and YET we are not willing to do things in a vietnamese ways, pray and respect to theirs ... I think something is WRONG somewhere in our thinking adn/or perceptions.

I guess it is NOT a matter of Pride .... It's a Matter of RESPECT ...

So what if we are chinese ? so what she marry to me ?

Marriage is a 2 way thing NOT 1 way. It's a form for mutual respect NOT just for 1 party.

I also taught my 2 gals to be respectful , NOT to distinguish who is who ...

For me, as long as it benefit to both party .. which ever way, I am ok ..

Furthermore, during pregnacy ... child birth ... birthday ... she and the baby is there ... so they practice the Vietnamese way of celebrating ... so I guess it's nothing wrong with it ...

Besides, I also share with her the Chinese ways of doing things ... this becomes a journey for us to discover each other more and then we can learn to accept each other ways of doing things ... it's definitely a win-win situation for both ..

Sometimes I think of it, although in SIngapore, we dun really practice the Chinese way of doings things and celebration, we by in large follows the western way of doing things and even in celebration... so how can we called ourself as Chinese.

The MOST IMPORTANT Sentence I want to share is .. NO MATTER what circumstances , NEVER Forget Your ROOTS ....

THUMBS UPZ Shysaint!!!!

Finally some 1 here object to this Singviet posting who always emphasis his stay over at Ho Chi Minh for 'DECADE' and beating around the bushes telling people he is 'RICH' and his golden phase that PR application depends on the sponsor 'INCOME' and even with Singapore citizen child, application is treated as a lousy applicant. I have friend who is earning only 1.3k but wife got PR at the 1st attempt. The officer at the counter commented, figure is not really a big issue. Most important is dont job hop and lapse in CPF contribution is the key to success!

[batty]

I resent the statement that Singaporeans are not traditional enough and we are losing aspects of our traditional culture. Every culture retains certain aspects of their culture and do not keep other aspects. Culture is not static. To each his own. If suttee, the sacrifice of Hindu wives on their deceased Indian husbands' funeral pyres was practised in India; it does not mean that it should be practised by Hindus in Singapore.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by NguyenTrai

THUMBS UPZ Shysaint!!!!

Finally some 1 here object to this Singviet posting who always emphasis his stay over at Ho Chi Minh for 'DECADE' and beating around the bushes telling people he is 'RICH' and his golden phase that PR application depends on the sponsor 'INCOME' and even with Singapore citizen child, application is treated as a lousy applicant. I have friend who is earning only 1.3k but wife got PR at the 1st attempt. The officer at the counter commented, figure is not really a big issue. Most important is dont job hop and lapse in CPF contribution is the key to success!

I think we are discussing here and i am not going around telling people i am this and that> If you are not happy reading my comments or postings, you can always don't read them. From your example, i seriously wonder how many of them who earns 1.3k a month can get PR for their viet spouse? What i wrote about PR application is actually common sense. Not happy, cannot accept, then don't read. I am quite sure i know who you are.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I am quite sure i know who you are.

Another CLONE in the making

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I think we are discussing here and i am not going around telling people i am this and that> If you are not happy reading my comments or postings, you can always don't read them. From your example, i seriously wonder how many of them who earns 1.3k a month can get PR for their viet spouse? What i wrote about PR application is actually common sense. Not happy, cannot accept, then don't read. I am quite sure i know who you are.

not me,not me hahaha

bro,i am sure bro here will know what kind of person u are.Your insight of vietnamese ppl might not swallow well for some ppl.some ppl might think u like very smart when posting your comment to tell other people.seriously from what i see,u are consider quite successful already in term of finance and family and u certainly dont have to waste your time to come here and post but u still continue to contribute and that speak volume of u.

anyway in cyber space,when u post anything,ppl might agreed or disagreed but i believe from your seniority here,u are use to it already

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Can't Do ... before birth

No Riding Bike

Very Crucial for 1st tri-mester ... must take very good care.

Can't Do ... after birth

No bathing ... even brush teeth , she gaggle with salt water ...

During the 1st 1 mth, not allow to bath .... after that ... she got herbs (my mil uses some kinds of tree branches) sauna session than use the water to bath ..

Can't Eat ...

Practically my wife ate almost everything ... even those restricted in chinese customs .. like water melon, coconut ..

However, after Birth, some food/fruits Cannot eat especially wife got breast feed the baby ...

I know my wife DON'T EAT Seafood for the initial breast feeding period ..

like that ride bicycle confirm cannot liao

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Bro, 3 kids not very bad la. I also 3 kids, 2 gals are twins @ 8 years old, 1 boy @ 3 years old. The only bad thing is cannot take afternoon nap on weekend afternoons as all are home and make damm a lot of noise. Weekdays, all @ school, so more peaceful.

Kids are fun at times, but terrible most of the time. I place lots of emphasis on education, so i spend lots of resources on that. But i am not kiasu until must put them into very good primary school. Both my daughters are in neighbourhood school but i ensure they perform well in school. My boy is in a more costly childcare, but i can see they take good care of my boy and he's learning fast.

I told my wife, her parents didn't give her much education so there's a lot of things she doesn't know. She's also like me, wants our children to study hard and study well.

wa bro,this sentence i highlight in red scare ppl to have more kids leh

yah,education always come first.when i saw my sis who have 3 kids already quit her teaching job and stay at home to look after her 3 monster to study,i dont think i can manage 3.she told me she no choice or else her kids cant catch up on school pace,poor thing

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by big wood

congrat bro GQ for a dragon baby

Thanks bro