The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by Red_Tirak1099

This line I dont fully agree.....FOC pro bono ones like Subhash Anandan also seldom lose...kekeke

Some lawyers do free for certain high profile cases because by doing that increase their profile and when they get other cases where the client is richer, they charge more. This is another form of leveraging income and at the same time advertising for ownself under the public media's watchful eye.

If not how you know about him, tio boh?

When you get a good reputable lawyer to fight your case, the opposite side knows you mean business.

SC

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Maybe you just need to ask yourself and put yourself in their shoes, if today the man is your father while you are grown up. Your mum no longer able to provide sexual needs, from your point of view as a son, is it wrong for your father to find a younger choice? How would you feel for your poor mother?
If is my father, I think it is wrong. What is there to think?

For me personally, if my father wanted to leave for someone else, of course i will feel sad for my poor mother...but, what choices do i have? I can only let my father go...he may be deemed to be wrong but i would have to allow it...

forbidding or whacking him, would be out of the question.

The issue is not how i feel, it is about how that Charter would serve it's purpose?

For example, if the patriach of my family, for most of his life, slogged for the well being of the family...at the end of it, chooses a peculiar route for his happiness, should i begrudge him a little smile on his twilight years or activate a "get-out-of-jail" clause which states my mother is entitled to seize half his assets because it is the "wrong" route he chose?

Anyway, it's just for discussion's sake...nothing personal involved. I enjoy reading your views and analysis.

JWNY

[LSB_Fan]

marriage is a commitment that should not so easily be walked away from.

Would a man always find more attractive ladies ? Of course.

Should they engage in relations with these ladies ? Well, the flesh is weak, so one cannot fault anyone for giving in to temptation

Should he walk away from his family because of the woman is giving him what he cannot get at home ? No. this is never the way.

And if he does and the new lady encourage him,then she should beware that leopard never change its spot.

Just my opinion.

I think it is wrong too. But then as an adult, if it happen, it happen, there is nothing we can do about it. All old liao .... even if patch up ... the distrust already there liao, so make it worse for all ...

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by JWNY

For me personally, if my father wanted to leave for someone else, of course i will feel sad for my poor mother...but, what choices do i have? I can only let my father go...he may be deemed to be wrong but i would have to allow it...

forbidding or whacking him, would be out of the question.

The issue is not how i feel, it is about how that Charter would serve it's purpose?

For example, if the patriach of my family, for most of his life, slogged for the well being of the family...at the end of it, chooses a peculiar route for his happiness, should i begrudge him a little smile on his twilight years or activate a "get-out-of-jail" clause which states my mother is entitled to seize half his assets because it is the "wrong" route he chose?

Anyway, it's just for discussion's sake...nothing personal involved. I enjoy reading your views and analysis.

JWNY

If the father leaves for another woman, he is definitely in the wrong. However, letting he leave for another woman is one thing. And if my mum wants to follow up with a suit to get alimony and maintenance, by all means she should. Let him go or go after him. Depends. If the father is penniless, sue him is waste time, waste money. If the father is rich, sue him. The mum would have a case. If don't sue, the money eventually go to his new wife or maybe his new child.

Men is like that. Have too much money, start to have funny ideas. We know because we are like that too. But play is play, doesn't mean play so far. Hit where it hurts most, the pocket.

We can talk about women's charter protecting women, but if the wife commits adultery, and there is evidence, you think the judge will rule the ex-husband to give alimony? If they have a kid, the husband is most likely to just give maintenance for the well-fare of the kid. If the wife is financially independent as well, alimony part can siam but the kid's one cannot siam. So hope that the people here will understand that alimony is alimony. Maintenance is maintenance. 2 separate matters.

Personally, my aunt's husband left the 2 kids for another women and have another family. Left my 2 cousins stranded when they were less than 10 years old. That time there was no women's charter. So luckily my grandfather then had many children, so its this family ties that help chip in a bit each to help my poor aunt with her life and also put the 2 kids to school. When my cousin got married, he didn't invite the father to his marriage. Why should he? His father is lucky, there was no women's charter then to protect his ex-wife.

Discussion is discussion, but the way I read some postings made by certain people here, the comments they made are like condemning women.

May I remind them that their MOTHER is also a WOMAN.... lest they forget.

[HellSpawn]

Originally Posted by JWNY

For example, if the patriach of my family, for most of his life, slogged for the well being of the family...at the end of it, chooses a peculiar route for his happiness, should i begrudge him a little smile on his twilight years or activate a "get-out-of-jail" clause which states my mother is entitled to seize half his assets because it is the "wrong" route he chose?

Anyway, it's just for discussion's sake...nothing personal involved. I enjoy reading your views and analysis.

JWNY

What happens if over the last few years your father has been having an affair with the woman, he has been siphoning off his wealth to the other side, leaving your mother 50% of an empty shell ???

No offence, but how many women, met the husband when he is poor, live a hard life. But when he get money, he find younger woman and leave her with nothing.

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Men is like that. Have too much money, start to have funny ideas. We know because we are like that too. But play is play, doesn't mean play so far. Hit where it hurts most, the pocket.

Thanks for sharing, I hope your auntie and cousins are well now, to have such close family ties to bring them together in times of hardship.

Men are upbeat, when it comes to lust and greed...i fully attest to that. I just feel personally, like you mentioned, hit where it hurt most - POCKETS. The men don't have the cunning instinct or vengeance similar to a woman like as the saying goes - "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"

JWNY

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by HellSpawn

What happens if over the last few years your father has been having an affair with the woman, he has been siphoning off his wealth to the other side, leaving your mother 50% of an empty shell ???

No offence, but how many women, met the husband when he is poor, live a hard life. But when he get money, he find younger woman and leave her with nothing.

If it is his money, and he ships it off elsewhere...no one can do anything. And i don't think, 50% is the norm of splitting. Maybe he meant to leave nothing as you mentioned.

Men do it, women also do it - you've not heard of women "gold diggers"? They exist too.

Money, Fame, Power - it's the same thing. You put a woman in that kind of position, and the system may be vulnerable to abuse as well.

Like SC, i believe in fairness as well...but i'd rather give the benefit of doubt to us men, than towards the women.

JWNY

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by JWNY

Men are upbeat, when it comes to lust and greed...i fully attest to that. I just feel personally, like you mentioned, hit where it hurt most - POCKETS. The men don't have the cunning instinct or vengeance similar to a woman like as the saying goes - "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"
JWNY

If the roles are reversed where the wife goes and find another man, how many men can still stay cool and coy over the whole situation?

So thats why sometimes we cannot say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. We fuck other girl, we feel shiok, if our wife fuck other men, how shiok will we feel? Maybe we will be worst off than women.


SC

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

......... if today your wife walks out on you as she is the breadwinner while you are the homemaker, throwing 2 kids to you as custody, you are free to engage a lawyer to fight for maintenance and alimony. Few are doing it, and not many are going to do it.
Use a better lawyer don't scrimp on cheapskate lawyers with cheap rates. The better ones normally cost more and they seldom lose their case.

SC

ah nice.... (talk about putting ourselves in their shoes)... now we're talking... we know that in todays context, there are cases where the man takes the sacrifice to be the stay home hubby, while the missus who's a high flyer (protected under the charter), bringing home the bacon.

so when the missus decides to walk out... how is it that there's no charter to protect the stay home hubby, and need to engage lawyer to claim for alimony???

btw, such cases need not go to the extend of high profile lawyers lah... file the claims via welfare societies, n they can arrange the legal matters with your consent.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

...
We can talk about women's charter protecting women, but if the wife commits adultery, and there is evidence, you think the judge will rule the ex-husband to give alimony? If they have a kid, the husband is most likely to just give maintenance for the well-fare of the kid. If the wife is financially independent as well, alimony part can siam but the kid's one cannot siam. So hope that the people here will understand that alimony is alimony. Maintenance is maintenance. 2 separate matters.

another nice one... so with the charter, if the man is guilty of infidelity, then naturally its legitimate for him to split assets. however, if the woman was the 1 who was guilty of infidelity, the man has to go thru extra means & trouble to claim compensation...?? what kind of a double standard is that?

Originally Posted by siamcutey

Discussion is discussion, but the way I read some postings made by certain people here, the comments they made are like condemning women.

May I remind them that their MOTHER is also a WOMAN.... lest they forget.

let's not forget that, in this modern day & age when they're talking about gender equality and all that crap... then perhaps its time they review the terms of the charter, as its quite clear many have been abusing it to their advantage.

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

ah nice.... (talk about putting ourselves in their shoes)... now we're talking... we know that in todays context, there are cases where the man takes the sacrifice to be the stay home hubby, while the missus who's a high flyer (protected under the charter), bringing home the bacon.

so when the missus decides to walk out... how is it that there's no charter to protect the stay home hubby, and need to engage lawyer to claim for alimony??? btw, such cases need not go to the extend of high profile lawyers lah... file the claims via welfare societies, n they can arrange the legal matters with your consent.

I just knew it siah. Wah piang I should have guessed it. I should have guessed your intentions long ago. So sorry, that I so stupid cannot read your mind.

No wonder that time you tell us you are pii chai. So all along it has been your intention to get married and then stay at home while your wife go outside 'work' and feed you and your family lah. No wonder you want be pii chai. You should have say so earlier and make your intentions clear.

Why not like dat just for you lah. Special offer just for you don't say I don't help you. In future, when you get married and you stay at home, no men's charter nevermind. If your wife outside steal eat, or want to leave you and leave you with no money, look for me.
I truly understand your situation where you stay home be the home-maker, drive your wife to work and drive her home so that she can bring the dough back for you. Si bei Ko Lian. Really reserve my deepest sympathies for you.

I ask my lawyer to help you fight. If my lawyer lose, I find another woman for you to support you. The lawyer fees I pay for you lah. No need find welfare.

Isn't that better? So now what you still scared of? You still scared no men's charter?

kekeke
SC

[siamcutey]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

another nice one... so with the charter, if the man is guilty of infidelity, then naturally its legitimate for him to split assets. however, if the woman was the 1 who was guilty of infidelity, the man has to go thru extra means & trouble to claim compensation...?? what kind of a double standard is that?

You encounter before meh? Then how come you know have to go thru extra means and trouble to claim compensation? BTW, what form of compensation are you talking about here or are you referring to compensate your loss of ego and face?

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

let's not forget that, in this modern day & age when they're talking about gender equality and all that crap... then perhaps its time they review the terms of the charter, as its quite clear many have been abusing it to their advantage.

How to talk about gender equality here when one moment you expect your wife to be docile and gentle and stay home take care of the house while the other moment you still expect her to go out work to bring home money too.

You marry a girl or marry a robot?

* You say many have been abusing this women's charter, then may I remind you that many have been abused without this women's charter.

SC

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

ah nice.... (talk about putting ourselves in their shoes)... now we're talking... we know that in todays context, there are cases where the man takes the sacrifice to be the stay home hubby, while the missus who's a high flyer (protected under the charter), bringing home the bacon.

so when the missus decides to walk out... how is it that there's no charter to protect the stay home hubby, and need to engage lawyer to claim for alimony???

Originally Posted by siamcutey

..........So all along it has been your intention to get married and then stay at home while your wife go outside 'work' and feed you and your family lah. No wonder you want be pii chai. You should have say so earlier and make your intentions clear............

kekeke
SC

Originally Posted by siamcutey

.. So sorry, that I so stupid cannot read your mind.

from the looks of it, i'm really glad u confess to your stupidity. saved me the trouble.

[suteerak1099]

Originally Posted by siamcutey

You encounter before meh? Then how come you know have to go thru extra means and trouble to claim compensation? BTW, what form of compensation are you talking about here or are you referring to compensate your loss of ego and face?

well, i didnt go thru it, but some unfortunate frens have, and the calculation for the split of assets can really make blood boil.

i never knew there were means to valuate how much ego or face was worth. and its another new that there's methods to claim compensation for broken ego or face.

Originally Posted by siamcutey

How to talk about gender equality here when one moment you expect your wife to be docile and gentle and stay home take care of the house while the other moment you still expect her to go out work to bring home money too.

You marry a girl or marry a robot?

did any part of my posting suggested the spouse was to be servant at home and a slave in bed? or was it your own imagination? i believe i've also corrected your ASSumptions, stating that a spouse is 1 that journeys thru the good n bad times....

Originally Posted by siamcutey

* You say many have been abusing this women's charter, then may I remind you that many have been abused without this women's charter

SC

halo.... welcome to the 21st century... u watching too much 豆腐街? 福满人间? 五脚迹? abuse without the charter in place goes a long way back in history, the era when black n white films were all over the silver screens. perhaps up to the 80s & early 90s.

we're talking about woman TODAY taking advantage & abusing the system hor... dun confuse.