Need Help On How To Make My Wife Sexually Active?

[Sex4Love]

Guess your wife is probably stressed up with her mother duties and housework. Probably you can help to lighten her work load a bit by helping up in certain chores. Give her a massage to relax after a day's of her housework. Sensual touching can turn her on.

Make her feel desirable by praising her if she does something good. Also show appreciation for what she has done as a wife and mother. Surprise her with some small gifts.

Communication is also important too. You need to let her know you are a normal man with needs.

Hope what I said here could help you in some ways.

[Anel King]

Hi Brothers and Sisters of SBF

I'm back again. Have been silent for a while but things have not been well with me, so am here again to seek help, guidance and advice from everyone.

Last year after our sex filled Koh Samui trip, we had regular sex almost every week. after 4 months, I started to travel for work and was away for a really long time in Jan & Feb. when I came back, we only had 2 session from March till now.

And in both sessions, Missionary only. if you read my earlier postings here, she only prefers this, even not allowing me to suck & finger her pussy.

Ok nevermind.

When I enter her in Missionary, within 2-3 min, she will ask if I am cumming already. Sian but i continue, after that every 30 sec she will ask. So i get fed up, lie down next to her, PCC and hug & suck her nips till i cum after 10 min.

Which means i can last at least 5 to 15 min per session. But my wife wants to only do 1 position in 2-5 min and finish it. (from Koh Samui to dec was the same)

I went for JG once at my Favorite regular place in CV last month. My Massuers started JG and with 3 min i shot out. She asked me how long ago i had sex, looks like long time already. I felt embarrassed. But she was nice to me, cleaned me up and continued.

Problem 1:
I think my wife just having sex with me just to release my load, fearing that i might end up eating out. So just go through the motion of Having sex.I, on the other hand, want to make love to her and want to help her enjoy the love making session.

Problem 2:
Honestly if she allow me to finger and suck & tongue her pussy till she cum 2 or 3 time, I am happy already. (I am more a foreplay person) Then we can move on to intercourse with doggy, cowgirl and other easy but good positions to enjoy.

Problem 1 & 2 are linked. If the 1st can be solved the 2nd one also will be eliminated.

Appreciate any constructive comment and advice from the brothers and especially sisters (need female advice to understand wife)

[derekc]

Hi Bro
Seem like your wife is not into a great sexual relationship with you. I presume she doesn't goes into orgasm (sexual satisfaction). She is suffering from female sexual dysfunction (FSD). In USA there are 50 million women suffering from this (3 times men's ED). Is there help? Yes, there is a product helping these women now in USA. I will pm you to go further from here.
Have faith if you want to help your wife to improve both of your precious relationship.

[Canoneos]

Have you tried watching porn with your wife? I introduced porn to my wife and it has really improved our sex life. She gets damn horny and wet watching.

Your wife needs to understand that it takes two to tango.

[chowchowkeith]

Originally Posted by Anel King

Hi Bro & Sis of SBF

I've been married for 4 1/2 years now. Before marriage I was active in Geylang and HC's almost every month 1 or 2 times. ONS also once in 1 month.

When I was dating my wife stop everything in Geylang & HC's. Only maximum was sucked her nipples, which surprised me as she was conservativebut she was the one who initiated it.

After marriage, we had sex almost every other day till our 1st child. During the 9 months, she didn’t allow me to even finger her below. 4 months after our 1st child we had sex. I was like a caged animal let loose. But we only had sex 1 a month.

Last year was out 3rd anniversary we had decent sex. The next 3 months we only had once a month till April she confirmed she was pregnant again. Again I got hung dry and DIY from April last year till 2 weeks ago.

Looks like I still won’t have sex whenever I want to cause she like not so interested to even start anything. But once we start, she wants to finish fast. And only missionary, from 1st day to today.

No matter what I try to tell her or what I do, she only what to have when she is ok and only in missionary, nothing else.

I don't want to head back to my old play grounds as that will tear the family apart. I am only a regular for JG in the Tuina shop in CV.

Was wondering if any experience bros & sis can advice.

Regards
Anel King

Bro, if you dont want to go GL,maybe we can go JB spa together. just came back yesterday.. shiok!!

[Christine02]

Bro, is your wife working in daytime? As for me, I'm a mother of 2 kids, some times my hubby & I will disappoint each other, we are quite highly sex drive. Cos' daytime need to work plus night time need to take care of kids and my hubby is working shift work, which totally drained me out. Before got kids, we can do it every alternate day. But now different, normally once a week or once in 2 weeks.

My hubby loves to watch Japanese AV, I even subscribed the Megaporn for him to watch. We also try to accomated each other's needs, tiredness, and understand each other. Just like today (a few hrs ago), after dinner, I ask my mum to help us take care of the kids a while, while we going out for some relax. But in the end, I had a quick bj for my hubby at mscp.

Bro, try to communicate with her more, try to ask her, whether is she tired, her mood. Try to ask your parents or in-law to take care of your kids during weekend and let her have some rest.

Communciation is the best for couples. Very sorry for talkative.

[Anel King]

Originally Posted by Canoneos

Have you tried watching porn with your wife? I introduced porn to my wife and it has really improved our sex life. She gets damn horny and wet watching.

Your wife needs to understand that it takes two to tango.

Hi Bro

Well I tried earlier in marraige, but she used to find them sick and said that we should do it our way. ( After that she wanted me to delete my porn collection. Luckly i didn't

So after that, i just stopped.

[Anel King]

Originally Posted by chowchowkeith

Bro, if you dont want to go GL,maybe we can go JB spa together. just came back yesterday.. shiok!!

Hi Bro

I don't want to eat outside yet. Still wanna eat at home and have a good life with wife and kids.

But if the situation becomes that, she doesn't mind me to eat out to satisfy my sexual urge while i maintain my love for her and the family, i will follow you to JB. (Never eat there before. I stop GL & HC when I started dating wife 6 years ago)

But until then, I will still try to make love to my wife.

[Canoneos]

Originally Posted by Anel King

Hi Bro

Well I tried earlier in marraige, but she used to find them sick and said that we should do it our way. ( After that she wanted me to delete my porn collection. Luckly i didn't

So after that, i just stopped.

Is your wife religious? Sounds like she was brought up to treat sex as dirty and wrong. If so, then it will be a difficult task to turn her around. I think there are two ways. One is to convince her that life should be lived to the fullest. That means throwing out inhibitions and have some fun. The other option is to tell her that you are sexually frustrated and need some release. If she hates sex, then you should be allowed to eat out. To be honest, it is ridiculous for a wife to refuse something as mild as doggy style.

[cheongsterjon]

I know of a girl who has been brought up to be very religious....to her sex is something just for procreation and she would do it missionary style only, other positions such as cowgirl or doggie are unnatural and dirty like porn, no need to say there is no bbbj or painting by the guy.....

Originally Posted by Canoneos

Is your wife religious? Sounds like she was brought up to treat sex as dirty and wrong. If so, then it will be a difficult task to turn her around. I think there are two ways. One is to convince her that life should be lived to the fullest. That means throwing out inhibitions and have some fun. The other option is to tell her that you are sexually frustrated and need some release. If she hates sex, then you should be allowed to eat out. To be honest, it is ridiculous for a wife to refuse something as mild as doggy style.

[Anel King]

Originally Posted by Christine02

Bro, is your wife working in daytime? As for me, I'm a mother of 2 kids, some times my hubby & I will disappoint each other, we are quite highly sex drive. Cos' daytime need to work plus night time need to take care of kids and my hubby is working shift work, which totally drained me out. Before got kids, we can do it every alternate day. But now different, normally once a week or once in 2 weeks.

My hubby loves to watch Japanese AV, I even subscribed the Megaporn for him to watch. We also try to accomated each other's needs, tiredness, and understand each other. Just like today (a few hrs ago), after dinner, I ask my mum to help us take care of the kids a while, while we going out for some relax. But in the end, I had a quick bj for my hubby at mscp.

Bro, try to communicate with her more, try to ask her, whether is she tired, her mood. Try to ask your parents or in-law to take care of your kids during weekend and let her have some rest.

Communciation is the best for couples. Very sorry for talkative.

Thank you Sis for your input.

You and your hubby are lucky to have each other.

She is at home and taking care of the kids. But she finds it hard to let anyone else take care of them, including both our parents.

So by the time i get back home from the stress filled work, both our batt will be flat. And i travel every month at least a week.

And communication is one thing i am trying to work on as now we just talk about the kids and and our frustrations.

[Anel King]

Originally Posted by Canoneos

Is your wife religious? Sounds like she was brought up to treat sex as dirty and wrong. If so, then it will be a difficult task to turn her around. I think there are two ways. One is to convince her that life should be lived to the fullest. That means throwing out inhibitions and have some fun. The other option is to tell her that you are sexually frustrated and need some release. If she hates sex, then you should be allowed to eat out. To be honest, it is ridiculous for a wife to refuse something as mild as doggy style.

HI bro

She isn't the religious type. she has studied in OZland and have been exposed but not participated in sexual activities. But she feels that missionary is the right way to do it we should not influence ourselves by watching porn.

I think she knows i am getting sexually frustrated. I've joked with her a few times that i might just eat out one day. And she says you can do what you wanna do, just don't tell me. (I think its a trick answer)

But i know if i do eat out, she might just leave me.

[rokhard]

Originally Posted by Anel King

Hi Bro

I don't want to eat outside yet. Still wanna eat at home and have a good life with wife and kids.

But if the situation becomes that, she doesn't mind me to eat out to satisfy my sexual urge while i maintain my love for her and the family, i will follow you to JB. (Never eat there before. I stop GL & HC when I started dating wife 6 years ago)

But until then, I will still try to make love to my wife.

Hey bro Anel, I am sorry to hear about your situation. It is easy to feel frustrated. Sister Christine offered very good advice that you should consider paying very close attention to and practicing this advice: communication and making time for each other. In doing so, you have to try to avoid communicating 'your way' and 'making time according to your terms and needs'. In marriage, this is about the two of you. Do you know what this means?

You mentioned that you are considering eating out. I am wondering what is your understanding of sex. Do you see sex as only about your pleasure? If not, then do you try to really understand how you can help your wife receive the same pleasure?

Another question for the meaning of sex: do you see sex as just pleasure or do you see sex as a means to grow your family? In either case, are you on the same page as your wife on this topic? You do realize that if you are not on the same page as your wife, have you tried communicating with your wife about sex, family, future?

Remember that communication is not about you talking but also listening to what your wife has to say, about what she feels, hopes or believes in. When one stops communicating, the other tends to drift off and that is where problems begin. When a husband just wants sex, without communication, without being sensitive to her needs, the wife tends to become 'cold' or disinterested. You can appreciate the wife's complaint that she is being treated like a sex object. Is it possible that that is why your wife treats sex like a chore?

I also note that both of you had good sex when on a holiday. Could it be that chores are getting in the way of being/feeling sexy? Can you visualize what's going on in her mind: wake up on time, feed the kids on time, take them to school on time, prepare lunch on time, do the marketing, fetch them from school on time, do the errands, prepare the dinner on time, laundry, emergencies and then the husband comes home and he wants sex: how does a wife feel sexy like this?

Just a few thoughts. I hope this helps you on your way to bonding with your family.

[abchow]

HI Anel,

When 2 persons from different world comes together as hubby and wife . Its take alot of effort and time to connect.

But when both party settle down and stay together under same roof, the day to day activity becomes mundane.
Alot of time , both side will take for granted each other.
communication is lesser. Then become monotonous and then totally nothing much to talk except kids, school, expense etc..

The romance and spark is gone and then becomes just two body staying together. There is no excitement or anticipation like a courting couple.

This has happen to many a couples lving a modern lifestyle in Singapore or a rat race society.

I feel you should try to romance your wife like your courting days.
Do not have SEX as the motive. But just enjoy being together . Hold hands , Kiss .. walk along the beach .. enjoy some private time together.
Dinner together - not necessary a posh restaurant. Just have time for each other. The loving feeling will come back and then both of you will enjoy it.

So create time and chance for this to happen naturally.
U may have plan this kind of activity since your wife maybe too tired to do any planning.

Let your in laws take care of your kids.

anyway , too long story..

Wish you all the best

Good luck!!

[Prince81]

Yes bro.. I totally agree with all brothers and sisters advice.. Whatever you do try not to have an affair outside. Talk to your wife. If not pay and get it done with. Dun create more problem by having an affair outside. It will be even worst if u fall for the third party and eventually have to force yourself to leave the third party for the sake of ur family. I know how painful it is to destroy a relationship with someone whom u love so dearly jus because u have to maintain ur family. That is exactly wat I am goin through now....